Katya found her ex-boyfriend sitting in a chair in the hallway outside the morgue. Ryan held his head in his hands, and Katya could clearly see that he was having trouble catching his breath. She sat down in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs next to him and opened a mind-link. You know...you look much like you did on the night you found out I was a *real* vampire, Kevin.

Ryan looked up at Katya briefly before leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. That night you wanted us to make love in a coffin, that...that wasn't *all* you were going to offer me that night, was it? Katya shook her head. The implications of what he had been offered and what he had, unknowingly, turned down...they were concepts he was finding it next to impossible to wrap his head around. You...you were going to offer to turn me, weren't you? Even when he received the nod he expected in return, Ryan was having trouble believing it. God...

I loved you, Katya tried to explain. I wanted us to be together for eternity. Is that really such a surprise?

Ryan turned to carefully take in the features of the woman he had once adored. He remembered their passion; remembered how much of their minds, their hearts and their souls that they had bared to each other. He pushed a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, lost in the memories of their past and how imitating that same gesture used to send such a thrill through his entire being. No. No, it isn't.

Katya pulled Ryan's hand away from her ear, lacing her fingers with his own on the armrest between them. Then let me ask you this, beloved, said Katya, if I had told you everything, explained *everything* I was offering you that night...would you have said yes?

Ryan tried to remember that night. Not in the context of what he knew now, or where he was when he first fell in love with her, but in the context of *that* night. After he knew what she was. What she had been through in her life. What she had done to survive. And how much of the life he loved that he would have had to give up in order to be with her. I don't know...it's not like I was given the chance, was I?

True, replied Katya with a wistful smile. She took time and care to form her next thoughts in her mind. Kevin, I've lived a long time. And if I know one thing, it's this: all we can do is live in *this* moment. Not the past, not the future, *now*. If you do what you believe in your heart to be right at *this* moment, then the rest will take care of itself. There's a reason why you turned me down in that moment. And I think, if you search your heart, you will understand what that reason is.

With the emotional overload past, Ryan considered the truth in Katya's words, and squeezed her hand to let her know that he understood. Thank you, Katya.

You're welcome, she replied. After a moment Katya then added, Besides, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have made the offer.

Ryan was tempted to take that personally. Really? Why not?

Because I know how important the Guardians are to the world, *honored one*, she told him. And I take great comfort in the fact that one of the reasons you can be where you are today is because you turned me down that night. Makes the pain of you *dumping* me a little more worthwhile...

Ryan couldn't help but smile even as he felt the sting of regret for having caused her such hurt back then. His thumb caressed the back of her hand as he told her, You know, when we first saw you at the club, Javi was so worried that I would be...

Tempted? asked Katya. When Ryan nodded, Katya countered him with a level of conviction that he was totally surprised by. Never would have happened.

Why not? asked Ryan.

Katya turned over their interlaced hands so that his wedding band was clearly visible. Because of *that*. Kevin, I come from a time where the worst crime a woman could commit was adultery. I could never do that to you, your wife, or myself. I respect that vow you made, and I would never be the one to cause you to break it. I'd run a stake through my own heart first. Now your partner, on the other hand...

Is in a relationship with the Yīzhì. Trust me, you do *not* want to get on her bad side.

What about the Sìfāng?

The Lièrén.

By the gods, Katya grumbled, I might have had better luck with the monks...

Ryan chuckled as he separated their hands and pushed himself up from his chair. Come on, let's go rejoin the others. It's probably driving them *crazy* that they couldn't eavesdrop on our conversation...

The rest of the group watched Ryan and Katya warily as they came back into the morgue in a much better mood than either of them had left in. "Everything okay, Ryan?" asked Beckett.

"Fine," Ryan replied casually, trying to give off as much of a 'let's not talk about it' vibe as he could.

The Guardians took their cues off of their friend and returned their conversation back to the case. "All right, then," said Beckett. "Lanie, have you gotten any hits off the dental records you got from Dr. Frank yet?"

Lanie shook her head. "Haven't gotten through that many."

"Katya, can you work with Lanie on the dental records?" asked Beckett. "See if you recognize any of the names in the files as ones that Claudio might have used." Katya nodded in agreement.

Beckett then told the rest of the group, "Catherine Jameson is going to be the key to solving this case, I think."

Katya agreed immediately. "Siring a new vampire is a major commitment. You're connected to that new vampire for at least a year while you train them to survive on their own. Claudio won't be leaving her side any time soon. You find her, you'll find him."

Esposito taped a picture of an attractive redhead to the clean back of the otherwise crowded murder board. "Okay," he announced to the group, "this is our missing person. Catherine Jameson, age 26."

Ryan carefully studied the woman's pale skin and green eyes in the picture. "She looks *really* Irish. Is she...?"

"Absolutely no relation to the whiskey company," replied Esposito. "Her father did, however, did make a sizable investment in the '80s in a little company called Apple, and because of that our Ms. Jameson *still* hasn't worked a day in her life."

"How long has she been considered a missing person?" asked Castle.

"Two weeks," replied Esposito.

Beckett asked, "What did missing persons find out about the time before she disappeared? Did any of her girlfriends mention that she had started dating?"

Esposito shook his head. "Friends say she had been staying away from the dating scene for almost two months coming off a bad breakup."

Katya recognized the scenario immediately. "Sounds like Claudio's type, all right. Pretty little rich girl, lonely, who everyone underestimates. He pulls her away from her friends, seduces her, then turns her."

Beckett turned around to find the vampire standing behind her. "Any luck with those dental records? Did you recognize any of the aliases as possibly being Claudio?"

"A few," replied Katya. "The Yīzhì said she will run those files first and call you as soon as she knows if any of them are a match. It is very possible though, Lièrén, that the billing address of the match will belong to this Catherine woman and *not* to Claudio."

"Still," insisted Beckett, "we can run the alias and see what the name has attached to it. Who knows, it might get us a lead."

Ryan looked over his partner's shoulder at the file. "Here's something interesting, though...the friends all seem to have significant gaps in what they remember about that time."

"You think they might have had some of their interactions with Claudio erased?" asked Beckett.

"I'd count on it," replied Katya.

"All right then," said Beckett. "Ryan, Esposito, tomorrow, see if you can get something out of those blank spots in their memories. At the very least we should be able to find out what alias Claudio's been using. I want to go back to Catherine's place and see what Castle and I can find out in the *daytime*."

"What do you think was up with Ryan tonight?" asked Beckett.

The first rays of sunrise were just creeping over the East River horizon by the time Castle and Beckett had gotten back to her car. As Castle climbed into the passenger seat, he replied, "Do you remember when he first told us about Katya during the Freeman case?"

"Yeah..." said Beckett as she pulled down her seatbelt and started the engine. "What about it?"

"Remember how he said that part of the reason they broke up is because he didn't want to have sex in a coffin?"

Beckett nodded as the memory of the short conversation came back to her...then her eyes widened as she caught the connection between that conversation and the events of the previous night. "The third stage of the turning ritual..."

Castle nodded. "I think he was starting to play the 'what if...' game in his head...which can be a pretty overwhelming train of thought if one of the 'what ifs' is 'What if I had gone over there that night and let her turn me into a vampire?'"

"Yeah..." Beckett agreed, finding the point hard to argue. They sat in companionable silence for a while as they drove, the lack of early morning traffic making their return to the loft go much quicker than it otherwise would have. Finally, Beckett opened up about what was on *her* mind, "You ever play that game about us, Rick?"

"Sometimes," replied Castle. "It's hard not to, to be honest."

Beckett pulled into a parking spot and shut off the engine. "What if I had said yes that first time you asked me out on a date?"

"What if I hadn't gotten back together with Gina when you were dating Demming?" As Beckett raised a curious eyebrow at that question, Castle added, "Oh come on, I just did that to try and make you jealous...you knew that, right?" Beckett's shaking head pushed him into a whole new level of 'what ifs'. "Wow..."

"Yeah..." agreed Beckett, off on her own new train of thought. "You know," she admitted, "that day you brought Gina to the precinct, when...when I pulled you aside and told you to 'have a great summer'..."

"Yeah..." commented Castle, urging her on. Where is she going with this?

Beckett admitted, "That wasn't what I had pulled you over to tell you. At least, not originally." When she saw the dumbfounded expression on Castle's face, Beckett finished her point. "I was going to tell you that I had broken up with Demming and that I wanted to go with you to the Hamptons."

Two years...Castle leaned his head back against the headrest, stunned and guilt-ridden by her admission. I lost *two years* with her because I was trying to make her *jealous*... His thoughts spiraled into all the things they could have avoided in those two years. The secrets they kept from each other. The pain they had caused each other and their families. And of course, there was *Josh*...

Beckett grabbed one of Castle's hands and pulled it into her own, hoping her touch might shake him out of some of his obviously guilt-ridden thoughts. "Hey," she said, "Even if we might have taken a couple of wrong turns along the way, we got to where we wanted to be, didn't we?"

Castle let his thoughts float back to the present, letting the touch of his girlfriend's hands focus him; anchor him in the present where his muse, his partner, his beloved...his best friend was about to go upstairs with him to the life they shared.

Together.