Unfinished Business

Chapter 5

It was around noon as I finally had the nerve to get up from bed and dress clumsily. I had spent the last hours lying on the bed, staring rather apathetically up at the ceiling, haunted by the new memory inside my brain.

Regarding that, I'd rather have no memories at all!

Why, oh why, had I seen that exact sequence right at that moment when I felt so close to Tom, when all my doubts about him were pushed aside? Sure, I had told myself that I didn't care about what had happened, back in my former life, how the diary had made me weaker and weaker and how the diary-Tom had used me to grow stronger, but I hadn't convinced every part of my body.

The voice of reason kept nagging me about how this Tom and the Tom I had known through the diary were the same person – but I stubbornly pretended that it wasn't like that. No, it wasn't. Please, let it be different…

I felt a lump forming inside my throat as I remembered what had happened after my breakdown.

Tom had carried me gently back to the bed, covering me with the blanket, sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me with growing concern. He had been so nice, so unlike the Tom I had seen in that fit of mine. And all I had been able to do was cry silently, still shaken by the sheer memory of what I had seen. That stupid memory! It had ruined everything! I couldn't even remember how it had felt as Tom had kissed me, held me, how his breath had tickled my skin, how his hands had caressed my cheeks, how his eyes had been so intense, how his body and mine had collided –

A sob erupted from my lips. I had ruined it. The loveliest moment I could remember, it had been perfect… I had had somebody to hold me, be with me in the darkness around, an anchor in the nothingness of my existence… but I had to ruin it! Exhaling loudly, trying to calm myself, I rolled onto my side and sat up, my bare feet dangling over the edge of the bed, the sheets wrapped around me.

Forget it! It had been wrong to think that you were safe now! From all those people in the world, you had to come back here and meet the person whose diary had almost killed you!

BUT HE ISN'T THE SAME PERSON!, I bellowed. He is not! He was just a memory preserved in a diary, nothing more! This Tom is different! He cared for me!

Oh yeah, he did…

As he had to go to his classes this morning, he had watched me with a concern I wouldn't have believed to see on his face. He had kissed my forehead and held my hand until he had to get up.

"Will you be here when I come back?", he had asked.

But I couldn't even reply. I was too shocked, too deep in thought, fighting with my inner voice. I had merely managed a jerky nod, still avoiding his gaze. He had nodded and turned away to gather his clothes, before he got dressed, grabbed his book bag and left. I hadn't moved an inch since then.

Now I sat on the edge of the bed, eager to do something, eager to distract my mind. I got up, ignoring the dizziness inside my head, and picked up my clothes. I dressed rather clumsily, my hands still shaking viciously. I inhaled deeply, before I turned to leave the room, my hand already touching the door handle.

But where should I go? And what -

But that wasn't important anymore as everything began to spin in front of my eyes. Once again I felt as if the ground wanted to absorb me, as if everything around me faded, leaving behind a blurry nothingness. I didn't dare to move, afraid I would fall into the emptiness. Squeezing my eyes shut, I couldn't help but welcome the memories that were running through my nerves. Suddenly letting go of the handle, I felt myself fall to the ground, where I lay, motionless, my muscles twitching yet I couldn't move.

And in my stupor I opened my eyes wide as everything came back.

Everything… there it flashed in front of my eyes. My life. My childhood, my youth… my death… I wanted to fight against it. NO MORE MEMORIES! But I couldn't do anything but witness my life over and over again, how the memories grew stronger with each heartbeat. Snippets of a life I had forgotten about, a life I wish I never had…

I saw myself surrounded by a smiling couple. My parents. And there was a bunch of boys standing around me, looking down at me, all of them having the same freckled face like me. My brothers. The next moment I saw myself, my little self, running through a garden along with my brothers, hunting small weird looking creatures. I was laughing. I felt safe.

While I lay motionless on the floor in Tom Riddle's room, feeling tears inside my eyes, I remembered my family. My family. I felt their love, their support, their embraces. The safety of home. And I remembered learning so much about magic. Magic… the thing I thought impossible only a few days ago. I always had it in me. My whole family had it. My brothers all went to this school, the school, I, too, hadn't believed to be real. Hogwarts.

I remembered having received a letter that would allow me to attend the school of Witchcraft and Wizardry when I had just turned eleven. I recalled the ride in the train taking every student to Hogwarts. I met friends, I felt safe. But then there were black episodes and I found myself standing in a bathroom staring at a faucet. No! I had been in my first year when I had opened the Chamber of Secrets.

But –

I didn't do it willingly. I felt the urge inside, someone telling me to do so, forcing me. Then I saw the diary inside my little hand. His diary. But no. Tom hadn't just told me the secret of how to open the Chamber and release the monster. No. I knew I would never have done that on my own. No… he had forced me. He had been… in me. The piece of soul preserved in his diary had possessed me. He had used me.

Like he used everybody else around him, I recalled while lying on the floor, within being bombarded by old and new memories. Minions, I heard his voice, full of disgust. I have other goals in life, he had said. And I saw that he would succeed. There was a particularly strong memory growing inside my brain. A fear. A strong fear of someone whose name no one spoke. Even as I remembered the name, I felt a shiver running down my spine. Lord Voldemort.

A Dark wizard so powerful and evil only few had survived his anger. A mask-like expression, abnormally white skin and grotesque features, red eyes in a snake-like face. A walking horror. I had seen it and recalled it to be the last moment of my life. Suddenly I was thrown back and saw fiery words in the air, a name. Tom Marvolo Riddle. I gasped in utter shock as the letters rearranged. I am Lord Voldemort. And I saw Tom's handsome face slowly changing into the snake-like features of Voldemort.

Terror gripped me, a scream about to break free. NO! That was not possible, a small part inside my mind protested, but it wouldn't do. More memories rained down on me. A fight, masked people. His followers. And I saw people scream and run and fall. None of them would get up again. Panic rose inside me and suddenly, a white light hit me straight in the chest –

And I found myself kneeling on a marble floor splattered with blood.

My knees were scratched and my fingers numb from clutching a wand in my hand. I looked around in terror as a scream echoed through the large hallway I was in. I clumsily got back to my feet and rushed forwards as several masked and hooded figures emerged from a nearby room. I ducked their flashes of light and ran on until I reached a large staircase.

And then I saw it – and the memory made me scream in pain as I lay on the floor in Tom's room, my brain elapsing – at the bottom of the stairs stood a tall figure in a long black cloak, a wand in his white, long-fingered hand, his red, slit-like eyes directly staring up at me, a twisted smile on his distorted, pale face. Voldemort. Around me I saw people fighting, flashes of light shot through the hallways, screams and laughter cut the air.

And I stared down at the tall figure, petrified by fear and shock. I watched him raise his wand, pointing it up the stairs. I felt my own hand shaking, willing to fight. But I couldn't move. Felt myself once again, just like I felt five years ago, mesmerized by the towering presence at the bottom of the stairs. But this was slightly different. Now I stood face to face with the man whose sixteen-year-old self I never really encountered.

While I now stared into those red eyes, I recalled the memory of Tom Riddle, whose diary fell into my hands so many years ago. How I had shared my every thought and fear and desire with him, how I had relished the idea of having someone who understood and cared and how I had to find out later that it had been only a lie. How he had used me, possessed me, how my soul had been drained into the diary to release his piece of soul preserved within, how it made me do those horrible things…

A flash of green light shot towards me and I just stared at it, unable to move. I heard voices growing louder, someone calling my name, and then…

It was over.

A cold laugh echoed through my head as I found myself back in the room, lying motionless on the floor. My brain was jerking and aching and every muscle was cramped. And you thought it couldn't come any worse, a small voice within yelled over the noise inside my head. Overwhelmed by the memory of my life and death, I stared up at the ceiling, my body seemingly spinning.

I couldn't believe it.

Tears were burning inside my eyes, my head growing numb eventually, the only sound was the throbbing behind my temples. It had all come back – and lying petrified on the floor, I wished it didn't happen. I wished I would not know in whose room I was lying, in whose bed I had slept, with whom I had –

I suddenly felt something squeeze my heart and the next moment I rolled onto my side, my knees pulled up to my chest, crying mercilessly. What have I done? The tears came in abrupt attacks, with every heartbeat came another wave of shock and grief and terror. I felt miserable, violated and above all guilty. I couldn't believe I had fallen for the charm of the person whose future self would… kill me.

He had killed me. No, he would kill me, he hadn't yet, seen from his point of view. But he would. And he would become the most feared Dark wizard mankind would ever know. He would become Lord Voldemort. I pulled my arms around my knees and cried soundly, sobs leaving my throat with such a force my whole body was shivering.

Oh by Merlin, why was I here? Why did I have to meet the very person who was responsible for my life's misery – and end? Why?

I buried my face in my chest and surrendered to the sorrow weeping over me. My sobs grew silent after a while, but my head was still throbbing, and my heart…

Oh my heart. I could have sworn it had several scratches by now, bleeding as it was, I could have sworn I heard it being torn apart as I had seen what would become of the only one now occupying it: Tom Riddle. Why did I still feel that way when I had seen what he had done in my time, what he would do when he would leave this castle? Why was there still a small part inside screaming: He hasn't done anything yet! ?

Because that was exactly the dilemma. He hadn't done anything yet. He was still Tom Riddle. He might be on the verge to change but that didn't mean he couldn't be stopped. Stopped. Oh dear… did that explain why I was here?

Before I could dive into more confusion, I heard the door open quietly behind me. I immediately grew rigid. And with a force I didn't know I still had, I got to my feet and turned around, staring at the handsome black-haired boy entering the room with a mildly confused expression on his face. Memories welled up inside, forming a cloud of rage that I was eager to let loose.

Tom Riddle closed the door and eyed me, a little concern flickering on his otherwise mask-like face. And as I glared at him, my fists clenched at my sides, I didn't see the boy Tom Riddle, but the man Lord Voldemort, whose red eyes sparkled in the dark like freshly shed blood. A wave of fear and nausea washed over me as he stepped closer to me, tilting his head.

"Ginny, what's wrong?", he asked, his voice calm.

I just eyed him, my heart yearning, my head screaming to get away, my breath quickening. Suddenly he was in front of me, his hands on my upper arms. I widened my eyes as I saw his face up close, there was still the shadow of my memory hovering above his handsome features. I let out a shriek and tried to get away.

"Don't touch me!", I screeched and backed away.

"Ginny", he asked, his expression stern, but slightly worried.

Panic grew stronger and I pushed him away, watching him stagger backwards, eyeing me with his eyes slightly wide. I then backed away, my gaze fixed on him and in my mind I was looking for an escape. But there was none and I soon found myself pressed against the cold window. Tom came slowly towards me and I felt as if my heart would explode. I pressed myself closer to the window, throwing a side glance through the glass down onto the grounds that were so far away.

As I looked back at Tom, he was suddenly in front of me again. I shrieked in surprise and tried to push past him, but he merely grabbed my wrists and pinned me to the window. I gasped, feeling new tears burning inside my eyes. It was then that I couldn't stand his gaze anymore, I couldn't stand to see the face that would turn into a snake-like mask in the oh so soon future.

"Please let me go", I whispered, feeling myself shrink as he stood in front of me, so close, so terribly close.

"What's the matter?", he replied, his voice a notch above a whisper. "What is it?"

But I merely sobbed, feeling my legs give in. I slipped to the floor, pulling Tom along with me. Sitting in front of the window, my wrists still held by Tom, I turned my head away from him, suddenly ashamed of my tears. It was then that I felt him let go of me, before his hands cupped my face and turned it back towards him, our eyes meeting.

"Talk to me, what is it?"

As I watched him, another wave of silent cries emerging my mouth, my lips trembling, while a lump formed inside my throat, I heard my heart yell in protest. I suddenly remembered his gentle touch, his soft lips, his tender voice, the memory of him holding me tightly. If only I wouldn't know…

"Ginny?"

I closed my eyes, tears spilling from my lashes, and tried my best to fight away the memory. My heart was right, this wasn't about the future, my former present, this was about Tom's present, the past. It didn't matter what happened in the future. No, it didn't… it shouldn't. As I opened my eyes again, I gazed wearily into Tom's dark ones, biting my trembling lip.

"Are you okay?", he asked, his thumbs running over my cheeks.

I drew a deep breath and tried to nod.

"What happened?"

"I –", I began, trying to find my voice. "I remembered…"

He frowned slightly. "You remembered?"

"My life…"

Comprehension washed over his face and he nodded. "I see. It's back, then? Your memory, everything?"

I nodded again, my eyes boring into his.

"Well, isn't that a good thing?", he said, a tiny smile in his voice.

Sniffing, I watched him very closely, before I nodded forcefully. Oh no, it's not good, not good at all! But I swallowed the memories and leant into his hands, shooting him a crooked smile.

After that I felt my body trembling, the last remaining power draining from it. Weakness washed over me and then darkness fell.

A/N: Oh well, falling from one extreme into the next, huh? Yeah, I'm sorry, no snogging this time, that might take a while before it comes back now xD Ah, the plot is thickening, I hope you're not too confused. And I hope it makes more or less sense xD

So, what do you think?

Bianca: I guess you have to read the last chapter again, I'm sorry, I hope you're not disappointed now - I wanted to write more snogging, but that wouldn't fit at all... and the plot, the damn plot, argh, it forced me to write this xDD But I promise, that previous snogging session was not the last! Oh and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you all for reading and reviewing!

Disclaimer: Nothing's mine.