It's lovely to know that people are still reading my rambling excuse of a story, so a heartfelt thanks to you guys. Apologies for any bad grammar or spelling, i should have clocked it all but i've been ill, so i might have missed a bit. Anyways, enjoy,
Over and out xxx
When he pulled back a little, thanking Jack, Ianto was immediately struck with just how close they were to each other.
If he leaned forwards just another inch he could have been kissing Jack.
And it was that thought that shocked him more than anything, because it was the result of all the things that had been bubbling up inside him since he first saw Jack, but it was the first time he had ever really let them shoot up to the surface and make themselves known, an it was sudden and shocking and not altogether a horrific proposition, even though surely it should have been.
He shouldn't be contemplating kissing another man, not one he hardly even knew and certainly not one who was involved, however reluctantly, in his kidnap.
The whole scenario was absurd.
It would be dismissed as Stockholm Syndrome and madness by most sane people if they could tell what he was thinking, and that made him wonder whether he was ever sane in the first place.
And with that thought he jarred himself out of the relative safety of his thoughts, coughing a little and pulling back from Jack, trying to conceal the thought process that he had just had.
"So how, how er, what does this plan of yours entail? Will it really work?" He hardly dared to dream.
Jack, shaken out of his reverie about his insane thought of Ianto wanting to kiss him, blinked a little before answering "Well, the only thing really stopping us from getting out of this place is the CCTV that my uncle has rigged up in here, it's stupid face recognition software. He has some security patrolling the area but with the help of a few people who owe me favours I should be able to handle that, so it's just evading the CCTV that's the problem."
Jack paused for breath and was interrupted by Ianto saying "You know, I know exactly the person to help out with that, you should see her work, he'd be able to hack into that in no time! I just need to..." He trailed off.
"Need to what?"
"I can't talk to her now. Of course. Can't talk to anyone from my old life, or contact them."
Jack was silent for a moment, letting Ianto breathe, and then continued.
"It's okay Ianto, I've found someone to help with that part, don't worry. My friend Owen knows someone who is apparently one of the best hackers out there, he's pretty certain that he can get them to help us."
He purposefully didn't mention the fact that Owen hadn't been quite that certain about being able to contact the mysterious hacker. Having gone so far, it seemed ludicrous to disappoint Ianto after it all.
"Which means as soon as we get the go ahead with that, and I can get some people together to help with the physical side of escape, we'll be good to go. It shouldn't be too long now, fingers crossed."
But Ianto himself could see the flaw in that plan, even if Jack didn't seem to be addressing it.
"But Jack, your uncle will still be out there. Knowing you betrayed him. Won't he try to frame you, do whatever he can to get you arrested for whatever he's blackmailing you for?" He knew that Jack wanted what was best for him, could see his sincerity now, even as his head told him not to trust anyone, his heart screamed that he was telling the truth. But why would Jack risk that for him? There had to be safer ways for him, surely?
Jack just shrugged.
"I guess. But with him being convicted for kidnapping you, they're not going to like him, to be fair. And he probably won't have time to set it up before he's arrested, hopefully."
"But if he did, and they listened to him? What then?"
"Then I'd be arrested for murder."
It was at that point, with the look in Jack's eyes that said that he meant what he was saying, that he would accept the consequences and maybe even go to prison for a very long time just so that he could get Ianto out of his godforsaken cellar, that Ianto realised just how much he cared for, and respected, the man kneeling in front of him.
The fact that Jack would seemingly do that for him spoke volumes.
Jack could see the realisation dawn in Ianto's eyes about what exactly he had just said, and he knew that his feelings were getting a little too close to the surface for comfort, if he was revealing things like that, but he was struggling to restrain them, try as he might.
He expected the other man to express some gratitude. He even expected, or considered, that Ianto might smile at him, hug him again. Might show some sign that he was grateful for Jack's accidental declaration.
However, what he didn't expect was the kiss.
Ianto didn't even think as he leant forward and rested his hands on Jack's shoulders, pressed his mouth softly to his. His mind didn't start to set off alarms as he deepened the kiss a little when he felt Jack respond.
It didn't even start to melt when Jack responded properly, wrapping his arms round Ianto's shoulders.
It was only when the other man's tongue flicked over his lips that Ianto froze, mid embrace, and then moved his hands off Jack's shoulders to shove himself backwards, not caring when his back hit the cold concrete wall behind him with a thud. He kept his eyes squeezed shut and clenched his hands into fists as if it could erase the past thirty seconds, and had no idea what to do.
Not that Jack had any idea what to do either.
He had hardly begun considering that he really might be gaining Ianto's complete trust, and then the beautiful, broken man he had been trying to keep himself from falling quietly in love with was leaning forwards and kissing him with no warning whatsoever. It made alarm bells ring in his head at first, when Ianto was just pecking his lips, and then suddenly it was as if his body unstuck itself as he subconsciously forced himself to respond, overriding the lockdown that had struck his body since the first touch.
It was like he was on auto-pilot, his body just responding to basic human programming as he wrapped his arms around Ianto, pulling him closer, inhaling the other man's musky scent, not caring that he hadn't been able to shower in days.
But that was the point when his brain finally managed to catch up with the rest of him, and he realised that he shouldn't be doing what he was doing, shouldn't be letting Ianto do what he was doing. Not only because Jack was sure that he'd end up regretting it later, but because he shouldn't be taking advantage of Ianto's probably fragile mental state when he was partially responsible for that mental state in the first place.
But just as Jack was about to pull away, make his apologies and some stupid rushed excuse and leave quickly, Ianto managed it for him.
The native Welshman had shoved Jack's shoulders hard as he pushed away from him, and Jack opened his eyes to see him trembling ever so slightly as he sat ramrod straight up against the wall, eyes closed. His hands were clenched so tightly at his sides that Jack could see the stretched, taut, skin around his knuckles where the forced pressure was turning them white.
And while if he had been the one planning to leave, he would have left Ianto alone and quickly made his exit, seeing Ianto push him away and react like that, when he had been so happy earlier, made him realise that he should stay, at least until Ianto calmed down.
"Ianto? Ianto, are you... well, are you okay?"
There was a few seconds of silence when Jack started to wonder if he was ever going to get an answer, or whether Ianto had gone mute.
But then a small voice rang out in the echoey room.
"Yes. I - no! I mean yes. God, I don't even know what I'm doing any more!" Ianto moaned, his hands unclenching as he reached forwards to rest his head in them.
"I'm not doing this. I can't be doing this. I'm not shut up in a cold dark room with hardly any food, no bathroom facilities and handcuffs that still rattle every time the wind picks up. I'm not."
Jack leaned back on his haunches again, knowing that Ianto wouldn't welcome any unwanted and unexpected advances, however innocent they were. He desperately wanted to hug the Welshman, to comfort him and tell him everything would be okay in the end, but he didn't want to make false promises until he was 100% sure, and he knew Ianto couldn't handle it.
"This isn't happening at all, it's all inside my head. I'm going to wake up again soon and it will be the night after the ball and I'll be crashing on Tosh's floor again, hungover and feeling like shit while she busies herself making breakfast and lectures me on the evils of drinking. This is all a dream."
Ianto was becoming more and more hysterical with every word, practically rocking backwards and forwards as he spoke, and it was killing Jack to stay where he was and not lean forwards to help.
"Of course it is, things like this don't happen to me. Don't happen to anyone. No one gets kidnapped in the middle of Cardiff these days, it's stupid. It just does not happen. I'm not a prisoner and I'm not starting to feel oddly comfortable with my forced captor and I did not just kiss him. I can't deal with this."
As Ianto paused in his speech for the second, maybe third time, Jack pushed forwards toward him for a split second, before freezing, but he needn't have worried, because the Welshman practically threw himself at Jack as he crumbled and started sobbing, clutching at Jack's sides.
His perfect composure, ever present politeness, the way that he held himself together in even the most stressful, the most horrific situations; it was gone. It disintegrated, falling to pieces in the wake of him finally recognising the situation, perhaps for the first time, he thought to himself.
And all Jack could do was watch as he fragmented, his perfect composure all but turned to dust.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed, let me know how you felt in a review if you feel like it :) x