That Smile

By Teary Loser

Disclaimer: Characters and all that do not belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling – credit to her.

Note: Some of you want to hurt me after making you wait so long, and just giving you such a small chapter. I'm sorry.

Chapter 10: Never Again

The days after the funeral were rainy ones. How ironic, Sirius thought, bad weather for the bad days. He was in James' garage.

"Padfoot," James asked as he walked in, "wanna blow something up?"

Sirius glared at him and continued to work on his bike.

"Sorry," James said, "but Padfoot, you have to tryto move on…"

Sirius was silent; he didn't want to talk to him, why couldn't James just leave him alone?

"Tammie wouldn't want you to be like this," he said. His eyes widened, he regretted saying her name.

"She's not here anymore, so who cares what she wants?" Sirius said, quite red in the face.

James pushed on, "You care, Sirius. I know you do."

"Well I don't. I don't care about anything. I don't care about this stupid bike," he kicked his motorbike to the ground, "I don't care, James! I don't care that she died. That I never got to say goodbye; that I never got to hold her again… I don't care!" He kicked his bike again and left the room.

James stood there for a moment until he decided to follow him, he saw him in the kitchen sitting on one of the chairs, his head in his hands.

James sat next to him, "Don't you think I don't know how you feel?"

Sirius didn't say anything.

"Don't you think I never wondered why my parents had to go when they did? That I never got angry at the sky for taking them away from me? Of course I did. Sirius, you're not the only one that feels like this. These kinds of things happen and we can't do anything about it. Don't stop yourself from living because Tammie died. She doesn't want this for you, and I know you care, Sirius."

It was silent between them for the next 5 minutes.

"I hate how it happened so quickly," Sirius said, "I hate how everything continued to go on after she died… the world kept turning, and it turned so quickly."

I still think about you, you know that? Every damn day your face appears in my head… and it never goes away. It's not like I want it to, your face was the definition of perfect for me. Remember that day you told me everything happened for a reason? What's the reason for why you had to go? Why you had to leave me?

I never got the chance to say how much I love you, and I don't think I could ever love anyone else the same way again.

I miss you.