Merry Christmas! I've been ill all over the festive period, so writing this has been like pulling teeth. Let's hope reading it isn't quite so bad.

It was the middle of the night by the time they got back to Wade's place. Lisa was exhausted and grumpy and just wanted to sleep. Wade was on his last nerve after spending the last few hours worrying about Lisa.

"I just want to go straight to bed," she announced, as Wade dropped their bags in the hallway. "I know we need to talk but I'm not in the best frame of mind."

Wade nodded, "I know. You go on up, I'm just going to put a load of laundry on."

She laughed, "so domesticated. Don't be long," reaching up to kiss his cheek, she made her way upstairs. She stopped for a second at the top of the stairs, wondering what Wade would think of her if she made her way to his bedroom. She'd stayed at his place a few times before, but always in the spare room. Things were different now, and despite everything she still wasn't sure that he would want her. The thought of being rejected scared her, she was able to acknowledge that.

She was still stood outside Wade's bedroom when he made his way upstairs.

"Lisa?" He looked at her with confusion. He knew she was exhausted, and would have thought she'd have gone straight to bed.

"I wasn't sure if... where..." she gestured to his room.

"I want you in with me sweetheart, if you're comfortable with that," he smiled gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I heard what they were saying about me, and it's still hard to get what Drew did out of my head."

He heard the despair in her voice and shook his head, "forget them all for now Li, it's just you and me here, and all I want to do right now is sleep, with you next to me, in my arms, ok darlin'?"

She acquiesced, following Wade into his room. He pulled his t shirt off, then his jeans, shoes and socks, while she slowly stripped off her own clothes slowly, still nervous and all of a sudden uncomfortable. She wasn't sure this was a good idea. She looked up to find him stood in front of her, holding a t shirt.

"Whatever you want, love."

She took the t shirt and nodded, pulling her dress over her head and deftly unhooking her bra. She pulled the t shirt on and clutched at the soft material - it smelled like Wade, and she smiled at that. She kicked her shoes off and nodded to him, and he pulled the covers back.

He wrapped his arms around her as she cuddled up close to him. Her vulnerability had come to the fore again, and that worried him greatly. She was so up and down in terms of her emotions and he would be lying if he said he knew how to handle that. He was starting to realise that Drew wouldn't be the threat he'd have to combat: the demons in her head were far more damaging.

She slept fitfully, her mind plagued with things she'd long since thought she'd rationalised, ignored or managed to forget. Wade rested, but his customary insomnia had reared its ugly head, his mind filled with questions. He'd dreamed of having her in his bed, for longer than he cared to admit to himself, but now she was there all he could think was that he was making a huge mistake. He loved and adored her, he would never deny that for a moment, but he doubted himself. For a person with the supreme confidence that Wade Barrett carried himself with, doubting himself was a difficult and unusual feeling, but there it was.

When she finally gave up fighting her mind it was late morning, and she turned slightly in his arms to see him in what appeared to be peaceful slumber. She watched him, tracing his worries and fears on his face. She knew the situation was tough on him; she knew he worried about her; she knew his nature was to deal with Drew with his fists, but that he was trying to reign in that side of him for her benefit. That was why she found it hard: she didn't want to change him, but she equally didn't want him to suffer, to get into trouble, because of her.

"How long have you been awake?" Wade's voice rumbled against her skin and she shivered, cuddling up closer.

"Not long. I should have known you weren't really asleep,"she flattened her palm on his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken.

"How're you feeling?" he asked cautiously, not entirely sure that he wanted to know the answer.

Lisa sighed, the million dollar question. "I'm not ok, but you're here and that helps. How's your hand?" She reached over to hold his hand, touching his bruised knuckles gently.

"Can't even feel it," Wade shrugged. It wasn't the first time he'd punched a wall and it wouldn't be the last, he was sure.

"What happened?"

He'd been dreading that question. Not because he wasn't fully prepared to tell her the truth, but because he would need to ask her more about her relationship with Drew, and he wasn't sure he was ready for some of the answers she might give.

"He said some things about you, and about your relationship, and it was either punch the wall or him." Wade had rehearsed that explanation so many times in his head, and he knew exactly what her response would be.

"What did he say about me?"

Wade sat up a little, knowing this wouldn't be an easy conversation to have. She rested her head on his chest, still clutching his hand. He stroked his other hand through her hair gently, composing himself enough to speak.

"He called you names, I'm sure you can guess what."

"You knew he'd do that, why did it get you so angry?" she asked softly.

"There was something else he said," Wade said quietly, "it was about you saying no to him, and him ignoring that."

He felt her tense, and her whole body shivered. He continued to stroke her hair, allowing her to gather her thoughts and speak when she was ready.

"No is such a difficult word. Did I say no to him? Absolutely. Did I mean yes? I don't know. Sometimes it was all part of a game, you know? I'd say no but he knew I wanted him. Cat and mouse, I guess. I loved being chased, and I felt wanted, like I was so irresistible to him he couldn't take no for an answer."

He knew he had to choose his words carefully. "If you ever tell me no, I will respect that, I promise you. And that is not because I don't find you irresistible, because I do. It's because I respect you, and you deserve better."

"Sometimes I'm not sure I can handle better." She sat up, needing eye contact with him at that moment, needing to know that what he was telling her was the truth. Kneeling at his side, she reached up to touch him before letting her hand fall away, nerves running through her again. He caught her eye, his solid gaze unwavering. His fingers stroked her cheeks, silently willing her to accept what he was offering. She eventually nodded, "I'm willing to try."

There was something that Wade was struggling to understand, "Lisa, why did you stay with him for so long? You knew how I felt about you, and I know you felt something for me. I thought you were happy with him, which is why I never pushed."

"I wanted to sort out my own mess. I don't want to be vulnerable, or weak. I made my decisions, even if I kind of knew they were bad ones, and I took the consequences. And it wasn't all bad. It just wasn't all good either, and that was why I ended it."

"And me?"

"You know me better than anyone. You know I'm not perfect and for some insane reason that doesn't matter to you. And look at you, any girl would be proud to be with you. No one more proud than me."

He couldn't help but kiss her, the spark in her eyes and fire in her words were the things that had first attracted him to her, and although he would protect her to the end of the earth, he found her feistyness sexy as hell and he hoped that she would never lose that.