-Ezra's POV-

You know in those movies that takes place on a farm, they're usually the same? Country talk, overalls, chewing straw, all that stuff. Well luckily, this farm's just about as modern as it gets.
So I'm surprised when a real live roaster crows at six in the morning. But Aria and I both moan, and fall back to sleep. And of course, no one comes in and wakes up. But we don't abuse the late sleep in,
and we're both up, showered and dressed by nine and in the kitchen chatting with Aunt Betty, drinking coffee and eating eggs that were collected yesterday. After only a few minutes, Peter comes wandering
in from outside. "Hey little buddy!" I say. I hold out my hand and surprisingly Peter gives me a high-five.
"How're you doing?"
Peter just shrugs. I didn't expect him to answer anyway.
"Peter," Aunt Betty says. "This is Aria, Ezra's girlfriend."
Peter waves and smiles at her.
"Now come and sit down." She tells him. "Here's your math for the day." she hands him a few work sheets. He silently starts working on them and Aunt Betty continues to make small talk. But Uncle John
comes in and asks us if we'd be willing to help. Of course, we agree and head outside with him. He asks us to go milk the cows, so Aria and I head over to the barn and do exactly that. We pick some
vegitables, feed some pigs and the chickens. And around noon, he pats us on the back and tells us thanks for the help, and we're off the hook for the rest of the day. We're just finishing up lunch when Aria's
phone rings. She answers it happily. "Hey!" She says."It's Spencer." She whispers to me. She chats a little more then her face falls. She excuses herself and goes up to our room. I stay behind and do the
dishes for Aunt Betty. But its not too long before Chris comes stumbling down the stairs. "Hey." He mutters.
"Did you just wake up?" I ask, but I don't know why I do. No use in even talking to him, or else we'll probably fight.
"Yup."
"It's almost one o' clock." I tell him.
He shrugs. "I was up late."
"drinking?" I ask.
He stares at me, and I know I've got the upper hand now. that's when I realize Peter has looked up from his work and is watching us with intrest. He's so quiet I forget he's there.
But then I look back at Chris, REALLY look at him, and can tell by his tired blood shot eyes that he's really hung over. I remember being little, and Daniel, my brother, Chris and I were as close as we could possibly be, being our age differences. I'm about five years older than Chris, and Daniel is two years older than me. But we managed like brothers and cousins do. We all lived in Philidalphia, Pennsilviana till Daniel left home, and Chris moved away just two years ago. We all got along perfectly until we all parted ways. Back then, when we were little, this farm was run and owed by Grandpa and Grandma Fitz, and their hired workers. Until Grandma died, and Grandpa kinda lost it. So Aunt Betty and Uncle John took their kids and moved up here to run the farm. They took away my younger
cousin, right after my big brother had left…
Finally, I sigh. "Sit down." I tell him.
"What?"
"Just sit…" I say.
He obeys, and sits next to his brother.
"Juice or coffee?" I ask him. "You need to drink one to help with the hang -"
"I know, Ezra." he says like I'm stupid. "I do this all the time."
"Fine then." I say, opening the front door. "Make your own coffee." I close it behind me and take a walk over to the barn. I sit and pet the horses, remembering all the times we had in here. Since we all lived in PA, we'd usually all come here every summer to visit Grandma and Grandpa. I go over to a spot in the corner we all liked. Daniel, being the oldest, would always drag a pile a hay over to the corner and stand on it, look down on us and give us our orders for cleaning the barn. Even though we had already gotten our chore list for the day. He wanted to look over us and boss us around. I never complained, but little Chris stood up to him every time. Finally, I drag an old pike of hay over to the old spot. I stand on it, and look around. It's weird seeing things how my brother sees them. Or saw them, I guess. I sit down on the hay and look around the barn that never changes. not physically anyway. But the times spent in here sure have. I'd give anything to have things be this way again. Even if I meant giving Daniel or even Chris the upper hand. Even when Daniel was on top, he'd offer his hand down and pull me up. I miss that. A lot.

-Aria's POV-

I hear my phone ring, and I'm happy to see it's Spencer calling. I really miss the girls a lot, and I've been texting them a lot, specially when I was in the car. But I know a summer without them will be painful.
"Hey!" I say.
"Life's awful." She replies.
"Yeah I'm fine, thanks for asking." I joke.
"Sorry. How are you, Aria? Is Goodland everything you hoped?" She asks half sarcastic and half serious.
"I guess so." I say looking at Ezra and smiling. "Alright now tell me, what's up with you?"
"What's up with me? I just ruined my future, that's whats up! How could I be so stupid? I just threw everything I've ever worked for in the trash, for what? To not finish high school? Stay at home, hoping things will get better? Yeah, Melissa kicked me out today. THAT'S what's up with me."
"Spence! Come on. Why'd Melissa kick you out?"
"Because she can barely afford basic cable, let alone a baby."
I feel my face fall, and I get up and start up the stairs. "Wait… Is Melissa…" I go in the room and close the door. "Pregnant?"
"I wish. No wait, I take that back. I couldn't handle two of her."
"Wait then, are YOU?!"
"Shocking isn't it? I always thought Hanna would have the first child. Or maybe you, the way you and Fitzy go at it."
"I take great offence to that. Just so you know." I sit on my bed and sigh. "But come on. Be serious. Is this a joke? Are you really... Pregnant?"
"Yup…" I can hear her trying to hid the pain in her voice, covering up her problem with jokes.
"I don't believe you…" I say, but I think I'm trying to make myself NOT believe her. "I'm calling Toby. Wait…" I pause. "Does he even know?"
"Of course I told him. I don't think showing up on his doorstep nine months later and saying 'Hey! Here's your baby!' would blow over so well."
I lay back and sigh. "Oh, Spencer…" I shake my head. "I'm sorry…"
She doesn't say anything for a while. I think she's probably crying.
"It is what it is." She finally says.
"Where are you staying? If Em and Han are in TX, I'm here, and sleeping outside is less scary than sleeping in the same house as Toby's dad. Where are you gonna go?"
"Well…I hear Kansas has good weather this time of year."
I wanna laugh and say "No, it really doesn't." But I can't bring myself to even think that this is a joking matter. "I'll ask Aunt Betty if you can come."
"Thanks, Aria.." She says.
"Welcome.." I sigh. "I'll talk to you later…"
We hang up and I fall onto my pillow, and cry.

I don't know how long I sit in the room, finally I decided to go and find Ezra. I guess it's obvious I'm upset by the way I walk in.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asks.
I sits on the hay next to Ezra and make a face.
"Not the most comfortable seat is it?" he asks. I shakes my head. He picks me up and sets me on his lap.
"Do you think your Aunt will let Spencer come stay with us too…?" I ask.
"Aww…" He says. "Do you miss her?"
"Well, yeah… but that's not it… I'm actually serious… she needs somewhere to stay for a while.."
"Why?" he asks.
"She got kicked out…"
"Why?" he asks again.
"Well…." I look away from him. "She told Melissa she was pregnant and Mel threw bags in her face and told her to pack and hit the rode."
"Whoa, wait. Spencer's pregnant?!"
I nod. His eyes widen. "gosh.." he sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "That's too bad. Poor Spencer."
"And Melissa…" I add.
"And Toby."
I nod.
"Are you sure Melissa won't let her move back in? maybe she just overreacted."
"Maybe" I say. "But regardless, I think she needs to get away for a while. Like we did."
I stand up and go over and pet Lucky. Ezra follows my lead.
"Hearing news like that really shakes me up…" He says. "And I'm sure you too. But not just because of your friend being pregnant. But hearing something like that…" he sighs. "It reminds me why we don't do it. Why we haven't had sex yet."
I nod. "Yeah, I guess it does. It's not like we don't have sex just so I don't end up pregnant. But it's definatly nice that there's no chance of it this way."
He nods. "Just think… if we had done it that one time…." he shakes his head. "That may be us."
I stare at the ground. He senses my sadness and says "But we would've been just fine… and so will Spencer. She's strong. Just like you. And Toby's a good guy."
"Just like you." I smile. He smiles back.
"But…" I say.
"But what, babe?"
"One day we'll have sex, right?"
He thinks about it for a second. "I believe we will, yes. Just not right now. Like we agreed."
"But once I'm 18, and it's not illegal, and once my parents are ok with… US… and when we've been together long enough to know that there's a good chance we'll get married… then we will right?"
He nods. "When those three things happen, then of course we will. But you have to admit, it's a good thing we didn't do it when we were thinking about doing it. Or else you could be the one pregnant."
"I think we should talk about Spencer, not us…"
"Okay.." He says. "Well, Aunt Betty's in the flower garden. I bet if you help her, she'd be even more willing to let them stay."
"Them?"
"Yeah. You might wanna ask if Toby can stay too. You know how his dad is. He might wanna get away trip too. It can't hurt to ask."
So I stroll over to where Aunt Betty is.
"Aunt Betty?" I ask.
"Oh, Aria! Hello!"
"Need some help?" I ask.
"Oh, no thanks. I'm just finishing up. How about some lemonaid in the house?"
"ok.." I agree.
We start walking towards the house.
"I have to ask you something…"
"Yes?" she answers.
"You see…" I begin. "My best friend Spencer just called me… and she told me that she's pregnant…"
She shakes her head. "Oh, boy."
"Yeah… and she got kicked out of where she was staying.. And she thought that -"
"And she thought that maybe she could come up here."
"Kinda…"
"Well, I say the more the merrier!"
I try not to act surprised by her answer.
"What about the boy?"
"Her boyfriend?"
"Yeah. Why isn't she staying with him?"
"Well… his dad… kinda has a tempter. Not the best place for her…"
"Why doesn't he come too? Her boyfriend?"
"Really?"
"Of course. As long as they don't -"
"Don't worry." I say. "They won't sleep together."
"Alrighty then. Give me their numbers some time tonight. I'll call them and talk to them first."
I nod and agree.
Finally we reach the door to the house. We go inside and she silently pours us glasses of lemonaid.
"I'll tell ya." She said sitting down and handing me a drink.
"if I had a dollar for every teenage girl who's pregnant 'round here… I'd be able to sell this farm and move to LA!"
I listen to Aunt Betty talk and I stare down at the wooden table.
"Aria, are you alright, dear?"
I look up. "Yeah…" I lie. "Just thinking."
"It's hard, isn't it? Your friend being pregnant…"
I don't know why I decide to open up to Aunt Betty, but I do. Maybe it's the fact that she's so kind. Maybe it's the fact that she's obviously a Christian, and probably has some decent advice. Maybe it's because I'm so desprate for someone to talk to.
"It is.." I say. "I mean I just found out.. And I feel like my life's come crashing down. I mean she's my best friend. Things are going to be so different now…"
"I can understand that." and to my surprise she puts her hand on mine. "But it'll be ok."
I nod. "Yeah, I know she will. Thanks."
"And you will too.." she says. "I'll be praying for Spencer, and you and everyone else involed."
I just nod. I don't know if I'm supposed to thank her or anything.

**PLEASE READ** Okay guys, so, this chapter has some self harm and cutting in it. So, if you have or are stuggling with any kind of hurting yourself, PLEASE read with caution. Don't read it if it'll trigger something. It's not worth it. Just skip over this part. But, please comment and let me know what you think about the Self Harm story line. Thanks guys! And like I said, it's triggering, so be careful.

I excuse myself and go up to my room. I sit and look out the window. Ezra's chatting with Peter and Uncle John. Well, with Uncle John. And Peter's sitting near by digging a hole in the dirt. I assume just for fun.
I close the curtains, and I go into my little bag full of 'personal things' I know Ezra would never go in there. So I dig around some nail polish bottles and hair clips until I find the box of tampons. I open it up, and pull out the small sharp razor blade I've been using for the past four months now. I brought it with me and hid it in there. I tuck it into my pocket and go into the bathroom. I'm upstairs, and I don't think anyone's near me. Aunt Betty's vacuuming down stairs, Ezra, Peter and Uncle John are still outside, and Chris is most likely sleeping again. Usually, when I'm at home, I cut myself in the shower. It's the best way to do it. There's no blood mess to clean up, and no one gets suspicious. And if it's an emergency and I had to do it at school, I'd usually go into a single person bathroom. They're supposed to be for adults only, but it's not like we get in trouble for usuing it.

But I'd use something else. Not the razor. That razor was and still is only for extream measures. I don't like to bleed that much. The scars are always worse that way. Usually I can do with a simple pair a scissors. But this is extream. I do into the bathroom and lock the door. But I do without usuing the shower as a cover. I sit on the floor and wonder where to do it. My arms would be my first choice. But long sleeves in the summer in Kansas? Ha! Yeah right. I think my best bet is my poor stomach. It's been getting most of the beating lately.

When I'm done, all the blood has stopped, and my razor is placed back in my pocket, I stand up, and look in the mirror. I lift up my shirt and sigh. Four horizontal cuts on the right side of my waist right above my hip. But the newest ones aren't the ones that get my attemtion. It's the word 'freedom' I wrote a while back. It's been a few weeks. And I think this one's going to fade and not scar. It's barely visable anymore. I run my finger over it and wish so badly that I had freedom from this awful addiction. I sit back down on the floor, and start to cry all over again.

By: Anna

I know this one was pretty long. please let me know if you like chapters long like this one, or shorter. Thanks for reading!