Bella POV (now in first person)
That day I'd lost control, that day I'd revealed my experience of death, was a day that both scared me and made me feel ecstatic. I was scared that I would hurt Edward, rip him to shreds when I had transformed. Instead I had locked myself down, only allowing the terror to get through. And then he had done what no one had eve done before. He'd hugged me in werecat form.
At first I didn't know what to do; I was too freaked out to understand. But when he started to soothe me, I thought of Gran. He was being so sweet and forgiving, like her. I was already crying, so my tears of joy mixed with that of the ones before. I was so... Warm and happy. I was thinking during a period of complete silence we had, and my thoughts strayed quite a bit, evolving into some pretty heartfelt fantasies. Edward hugging me again, or us sitting somewhere, with him twisting my hair in his fingers, or maybe even kissing me.
That's when I checked myself. Kissing? When in the hell did I think about kissing anyone like that? I made sure not to reveal my panic, so I concentrated on breathing. I put the thoughts aside and told myself I'd think about it later.
It was now Saturday, the day I got to shop around with the Cullen girls. I was anticipating their arrival, and when they did it was in Rosalie's BMW M3, a beautiful convertible, in red. Alice was standing up in the back, whooping and hollering for me to get in. Esme smiled sweetly, and when I got to the car she hugged me. Rosalie was driving, wearing giant dark glasses. She looked at me and asked, "Ready to go?"
"As I'll ever be. Hit the gas, hot shot!"
I barely clicked the harness when she shot off. We arrived in Port Angeles in no time. We had a blast mostly, shopping around the various outlets. I was embarrassed I couldn't pay for the stuff I got, but Esme assured me that she was more than happy to pay, and I could consider them gifts to welcome me. I made sure they stopped at the bookstore, and I was in heaven. Alice picked up a book in the history of the civil war, for Jasper. Rosalie picked up a current copy of the encyclopedia of automobiles, sports car edition. And Esme bought a first edition copy of Frankenstein. I was a little jealous, but then I bought a first edition copy of Dracula, and began making cheesy jokes, much to the amusement of the others.
It was dark when we walked out, and the car had been parked down the street in between some warehouses, in the shadow. We were laughing and giggling when Alice stiffened up. At the same time, some men rounded the corner behind us and were loud and drunk sounding.
"Alice, what's wrong?" Esme shook Alice gently. She came out of her little episode and looked angry.
"There are human men that are going to try and rape us. There are some that are going to be in front of your car, Rose," she said in a whisper.
"Let them try!" Rosalie whispered. The men behind us were getting closer, and I could hear the men in front of us laughing and boasting about something.
"Wait," I interrupted. "You can see the future?"
"Sometimes, but yeah. I'll tell you more later. We-"
"Going ssomewhere, ladiesss?" A blonde man rounded the corner and stopped us, two other guys behind him. The two men behind us came up and grabbed Esme and Alice around their throats. I whispered, just low enough for their ears, and too quick for the humans, "Struggle but don't use your strength. I'll handle this."
They widened their eyes and looked terrified. Rosalie and I put our backs together. I snarled, "What do you want, you asshole?"
The leader smiled stupidly. "I think you know what we want, my pretty little thing. You girls look so gorgeous..."
"Touch us and you're dead!" Rosalie said, giving her voice a bit of a shakiness to it.
The one guy with a brown haired buzz cut smiled impishly. "We only want the in-out, simple enough, me chumblies. But we'll take you rough, won't we, my brothers?" he spoke in a poorly done British accent, and even though his language was strange, I recognized it from "A Clockwork Orange". It was meant to intimidate us.
I wasn't fazed. In fact, something about what he said woke up something deep inside, it stirred and uncoiled, a creature I had knew once a long time ago. It took hold of my kindness and strangled it. Suddenly I wanted my beast to come forth, so I took out my Nokia Lumia and held up a finger. The guys, too drunk to understand, just stood there. I got to my music, and then handed it to Rosalie, who stared at me in confusion. I told her, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Turn on that song for me, would ya? I got something special to show you all." I started to strip. The guys whooped in anticipation. I smiled seductively.
"What are you doing?!" Alice hissed.
"Just watch." The leader licked his lips at my naked body once I was done undressing. I shivered, not only because of the chill that passed through my body, but with a hunger that could only be satisfied by the terror the humans would give me. I began to shake, and I laughed as the hard core song, "Monster" by Skillet, began, my laugh growing louder and deeper and more demonic as I transformed, landing on all fours. The humans looked at me in horror, and this time I liked it. No, I LOVED it! I growled, showing off my huge canine teeth, and one of them pissed themselves. I opened my mouth wide, smiling like crazy, and then roared.
My roar was nothing similar to the feline yowl or scream. In fact, it was more like thunder and the roar of a bear, mixed with an avalanche of boulders and a roaring fire. The humans screamed, either running away or falling in their attempt. The leader and two of his lackey stayed, those who were in front of me. The ones who where holding Alice and Esme hostage ran for it.
"Rosalie, don't let those two get away," I purred. "Its not much fun without the whole gang."
Quick as a flash, Rosalie had them by the scruff of their necks, one crook in each arm. She looked scared herself, but she stood her ground.
"Knock them out. Except for this one," I crooned, picking up the blonde haired leader by his throat. "I'm not dont with him yet."
"Help me!" he screamed. I covered his mouth with my thumb. Alice and Esme took care of the ones sputtering like insane babies, while Rosalie got the two in her hands. Once they were out, I motioned to one guy's jacket.
"That one is carrying acid in his pocket. Get the microdots and give them two each. Make sure they eat them. We can have their sight of me blamed on hallucinations. Give this one three. He's going to need it."
Alice silently did as was instructed, but Rosalie and Esme just stood there, hugging each other. When the humans were fully drugged up, I had Alice spread them across the alley, with their beer cans in or near their hands. Then I started to make for the tree line.
"Bella, are you insane?! What are you going to do to him?" Now it was Rosalie who looked worried, as well as Alice. Esme trembled beside her adopted daughters.
"I'm just going to give the police a good story to tell. Five drunk friends tripping on acid took a stroll and had a run in with a wild, rabid cougar. This one died, of course, but the others didn't know what was going on, and they survived."
The man in my arms now screamed through my furry thumb and tried kicking and wiggling himself free. But my grip tightened. I walked to the edge of the forest, and threw him against the side of a warehouse. He screamed once before I unsheathed my claws and raked them across his throat. He gurgled, and then collapsed. I went to work on his body, slashing here and there, taking a bite or two out of him, and making him almost unrecognizable. I left a particular tattoo intact, so he could be identified, but otherwise he was a complete mess. I licked the blood from my lips, and turned to the other three.
I would have thought they would have gone crazy from the blood, seeing as it was practically everywhere, but they were huddled together, terrified. I stood tall on all fours, and my tail swished gently from side to side.
"What's the matter?" I asked them.
"You... You killed him..." Esme trembled.
Something in her voice made my heart flutter, and instantaneously, the creature strangling my soul was beaten down, and it curled up in the abyss. I felt drained, and when I smelled the blood, really smelled it, I turned and looked again. The sight of the human's mangled body made my head spin, and I retched up everything I'd just consumed. My whole body shook, and in felt scared again. I started hyperventilating, thinking about how much trouble I was in. If Renee ever knew...
"Bella! Bella, hey, please don't do this, come on," Alice petted my bloody leg. "You need to get rid of the body, or drag it into the woods. We can tell Charlie we found it, and we can forget about this. Alright?"
I nodded. I dragged the body into the woods, making sure to leave a blood trail and my bloody paw prints. I knew Charlie and the other cops wouldn't think much about the size of them, but just write it off as a freak accident. When I came back my sick mess was gone, the other four guys were arranged together up against the wall, and Rosalie and Alice were in the car with the shopping bags. Rosalie held up the bundle of my clothes.
"We'll meet you at the house, guys," Alice said. "Bella, Esme will lead you toward our house, and you can clean up in the river on the way. Everything will be alright. I promise."
I simply nodded, too shaken to speak. Rosalie took off, and Esme patted my enormous leg.
"Come on, sweetie, let's take a walk in the woods. You'll calm down, and get all clean."
She walked, at a human's pace, into the tree line, and I silently followed. For about an hour, it was quiet. I knew I had frightened the three of them to death - no pun intended - but I had thought they would have run away, or worse. Instead, they had cleaned up what I had done, and they were helping me still. Even Esme, who had been terrified not minutes ago, was now gently escorting me to the house. I could hardly stand, my arms and legs felt like jelly as I walked.
There was no way I thought I deserved this kindness, but I gladly accepted it. I craved it, ever since I felt the rejection from Renee. I was never really close to her, but I had envied girls with loving moms. They got so much more than I did growing up. I was different than everyone else, but I realized if shouldn't have mattered; a mother is supposed to love her child, no matter what. Renee never was like that.
Renee was never a true mother.
I looked over to the beautiful vampire beside me. "E... Esme?" Even with my low bass tone voice, I still sounded like a timid little kit.
She looked over and smiled back at me, if a bit hesitant. "Yes, dear?"
I stopped myself. I didn't know what to say to her. I instead asked, "How much longer until we get to this river Alice spoke of?"
"Its not that far off, if we ran. Would you be ok with that?"
"Yes, I would."
She gestured for me to take off first. When I ran, I didn't push it, knowing Esme in a million years would never be able to keep up. So when she came up beside me, smiling and joyously enjoying the run, I smiled back. After maybe three minutes, she halted, and when I tried to mimic her, I skidded into the river, cold water splashing up around me and into my fur. It didn't feel freezing like it would have to a normal human. It felt really nice, and I gladly rolled in the water, letting all the blood wash away.
When I was done, I got the courage to ask Esme my original question. "Esme? Why... Why aren't you afraid of me?"
She looked at me so sweetly and lovingly before responding. "I was afraid, for a moment. You are a very powerful creature, Bella. More so, perhaps, than us vampires. But I am far more compassionate, and I really feared for the human."
My ears pulled back. "The human? But-"
She held her hands up. "Hold on. I only meant that his terror became my own. Rosalie and Alice probably were horrified at what you had done, but we remembered that it wasn't fair of us to blame you. In an act of fury, you did what any animal would do. It was a mistake many of us make; only Carlisle and Rosalie have completely abstained from human blood. Even I've slipped once or twice." she looked embarrassed at the end.
"But you guys aren't animals."
"True. But you, Bella, must also remember that you aren't a base animal, either. For you, it is the same struggle we deal with - learning control. We can't teach you, because we don't know how it feels to be you. But we can try to keep you calm, remind you who you are. We can help."
I took two steps toward her and put my massive head over her shoulder, purring loudly, showing my wordless gratitude, for how could I say thank you in a stronger way?
She put her small arms around my neck and ran her fingers through my fur. "I'll take that as you accepting our offer. Come on, the others want to speak to you."
She led me to the house again, where they were all standing out on the front lawn. Edward bounded over to me and petted my cheek. I warmed instantly, purring and closing my eyes. I felt relaxed.
"Bella, we know what happened. I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
"And I'm sorry I didn't see those creeps coming," Alice added.
Without opening my eyes I asked, "You see the future, right?"
"Yep. It's not definite, though. The visions come to me almost randomly, unless I really look for someone. And split second decisions are unpredictable. That's why I didn't see the humans."
"Its ok, Alice," I said. "It was... It happened. I should apologize to you all. I was the one who messed up."
"We forgive you, Bella." Carlisle joined Esme beside me and Edward. "Esme explained that we all make mistakes. As for the body, we already contacted the police, left an anonymous tip. No one can trace that call. They'll find the human and it will be reported as an animal attack." The golden haired leader smiled warmly. "We understand you never had a good relationship with your mother."
I involuntarily spat and hissed. "Renee." I said the name like a curse.
He nodded. "And because Charlie doesn't know about you, you are welcome to come here and be with us whenever you'd like. Here, you can express yourself however you'd like, without restraint. We'd like our home to become your second. What do you say?"
I stared, wide eyed, at everyone around me. They laughed or grinned, amused. I couldn't contain my excitement. I shook, giddy and filled with energy. They wanted me! They wanted to help me! They wanted to be my friends!
Jasper cautiously took a few steps back. "Guys, back off, she's going to explode!"
Everyone flashed over to where he was, apprehension clear on their faces. They giggled or laughed as I proceeded to whirl and twirl and bounce and run around, meowing my pleasure and absolute joy. I rolled in the dirt, sprang up, ran to the nearest tree, furiously climbed up, and launched myself from it, landing in front of them and sending up a cloud of dirt.
"I accept! Yes, thank you!" My mouth opened in a wide, toothy grin, eyes popping open and ears up. Emmett, the big dummy, collapsed from the intensity of his laughter. Rosalie shook her head.
"Oh my god, that was... Ha! That was so awesome! Bella, you are the coolest non-vampire I've ever met!" he stood up, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. He put his hand up. "High five!"
Not thinking, and unable to control my happiness, I slapped his hand, and all of his body too, and sent him sailing into the rest of them. Like bowling pins, they all collapsed in a dog pile.
"Ah, Emmett, get yo butt outta ma face!" Alice yelled, muffled under Emmett. Jasper and Edward laughed as they untangled themselves. Rosalie and Carlisle were stuck under Alice, and Esme had gracefully stepped aside, unharmed.
"Geez, I'm so sorry! I didn't think you were that weak, my bad!" I said, torn between embarrassment and laughter.
Immediately Emmett was up in my face, looking tough. "I ain't weak, dammit!"
"Watch out there, brother. I don't think you're in her league," Jasper laughed, getting up and wrapping an arm around a disgruntled Alice. I heard her murmur something about the dirt on her clothes.
"Naw, man, she ain't in MY league! Come on, Bella, lets see what you got!"
My eyes narrowed and I smiled playfully. "Bring it on!"