"It's gonna be fine, baby. Give this to your teacher and remember what I told you."
Carol handed a small white envelope to her daughter and the girl took it with a hesitant hand.
"But what if something happens? What if he comes back and I'm not here? What if he finds me? What if he finds you?"
Carol sighed, pulling Sophia into a soft embrace, trying to ease the worry from her and likely failing. She had plenty of her own worries though and they were remarkably similar to the ones just spoken.
So many what ifs ran through her head that she barely knew where one worry started and another one began, but that didn't matter anymore because this was the one thing Sophia had been looking forward too since the school announced the field trip four months ago. A week long camping adventure to the blue ridge mountains in North Carolina. The kids would bus up there together and then hike out to the middle of nowhere and learn how to pop tents and cook food over a fire and do all the wilderness things one does while camping. S'mores included.
Ed had even agreed to let her go when they brought it up. He'd scowled at first, saying it had to be too expensive but when he heard it was free he jumped at the chance to ship off his child for a week. Never even asking when or where and aside from knowing it happened some time this month he didn't have enough specifics to hunt her down even if he tried.
It wasn't free though, of course. They'd both lied and said it was but Carol skimped and saved and squirreled away every spare dollar she could get to pay the fee. It wasn't fair that Sophia be trapped in that house all the time and if she had a chance to escape even for a little while Carol was going to do whatever it took to make that happen.
Then things changed. The farm, Daryl, leaving Ed. It was a whirlwind of newness all pressed into a short amount of time but she knew how badly her daughter wanted this trip and wasn't about to tell her to forget it now just because their circumstances had changed.
"I'm gonna be just fine, Daryl is here with me and you'll be so far in the middle of the woods, and your teachers know not to let you go anywhere with him, and you know not too either, and can you really imagine your father hiking through the mountains for anything?"
Sophia snorted against her and Carol smiled.
"No. He doesn't even like going out to the mailbox."
"That's right. So you see, there's no way he's going out there and he doesn't even know where you'll be. So it'll be fine, I promise. You go and have a good time. Learn how to make s'mores and build campfires."
"Ok."
She hugged her a little harder before finally letting go, nodded in firm agreement and hoped her eyes conveyed more reassurance then she felt herself. "Ok."
Sophia left later that morning, leaving Carol to hope she'd made the right choice. It had been over two weeks since that night with Ed and he hadn't so much as tried to call the farm let alone show up. She had no idea what was taking him so long and why he'd not attempted to drag them both back home yet.
It was hard not to hope that maybe he wouldn't come back and they could go on with their lives once and for all. She knew better though. Something was keeping him away and once that something was gone he'd be here, showing up like a hurricane on a warm summer day. It wasn't a matter of if, but when.
"You think he's ever gonna stop doing that?"
Daryl followed Carol's gaze to the horse that was sitting on his hocks at the post, calm as can be, putting as much pressure on the line as he could. Waiting. Loco had gotten better about standing tied, waiting for longer and longer stretches before he started pulling back but he still did. Every time.
He shrugged. "Hope so. Horse that won't stand is hard to live with, for obvious reasons. He's doing better though."
"Why doesn't he break the line? He has to be strong enough."
Daryl nodded, shifting in his lawn chair at the fire pit while they watched the horse play his daily game. He'd wondered the same thing himself on more than one occasion. "I suppose he could. If he wanted too bad enough. It's a strong nylon though, he'd really have to give it a good yank instead of just sitting back like that. Have to be panicked, not just bored."
He cast a glance at Carol while she watched the horse and decided now was the perfect time to bring up something he'd been thinking about all day. She'd been saying she wanted to do more around the farm, that feeding the horses at night wasn't enough and if he had some sort of task to keep her busy instead of sitting around all day like a lay-about she'd gladly take it.
He hadn't wanted to put her to work, not really. It was one thing to scoop out some feed into buckets and another thing entirely to muck stalls and fix fences and train horses who often wanted to hurt you. She was recovered enough that she could do those things and he knew she was far from being a delicate flower, the way she'd shrugged him off her and into a pile of hay earlier that morning while they were practicing her self defense moves proved that well enough.
But logical or not, sexist or not, he didn't want to ask her to spend her entire day sweating buckets and aching for a nap. That's what farm work did to a person. It aged them rapidly and broke their body down and he knew that better than most. Spent a lot of time himself wishing for a whole bottle of advil that he could chase with an ambien.
He did however, have one thing she could do that was sorely needed and would probably put a smile on her face.
"Let's let him work that out on his own, come on. I got somethin' to show you."
She side eyed him. "You sure it's ok to just leave him?"
"We ain't goin' far, still be able to see him from across the field if he pitches a fit. I think you'll like this."
She got up and followed him, giving him a questioning look but taking his outstretched hand and letting him entwined their fingers together while he lead her to their destination.
"I will, huh? What is it?"
He huffed out a single laugh. "You one of those? You shake the presents under the christmas tree too to try and figure out what's in the box?"
Carol shrugged innocently. "Maybe."
"Well good thing I can't wrap any of these. Pretty sure they'd just eat the paper."
She raised an eyebrow at him but he didn't respond, just rounded the corner of a smaller barn and stopped them both in front of a medium sized paddock. It was well hidden from the rest, you had to purposely want to visit this area of the farm in order to see it but now they had a full view of the four foals inside the fence, running and chasing each other on spindly little legs. There were two dark bays with white feet, a chestnut with a defined blaze across his face and a pretty dapple gray.
"Welcome to the nursery."
It was no secret that there were babies on the farm but they'd been separate with their mothers up until now. It was weening time and that meant they got to be out together to start learning things that would make them civilized horses. Seeing them all in the same space must have been quite the sight because she was smiling from ear to ear and hadn't let go of his hand yet and he felt like he'd already done something right.
"Daryl, they're so precious. Look at them on those skinny legs, how do they even run like that? Can I pet them? Can we go in there? I want to snuggle their faces."
He huffed out a hearty laugh, one he rarely let loose for anyone or anything but she was shooting rapid questions at him and her face was entirely lit up and it was amusing as shit.
"Yes, you can pet them and grab their baby horse faces all you want because those are your projects for the next few weeks. Gonna halter break 'em and teach 'em to be groomed and pick up their feet and take treats like a real horse."
She looked over at him like he'd grown seven heads. "Oh…but I don't know how to train a foal. I don't even know where to start."
"It ain't hard, I'll show you and I'll be here to help. You can do it."
She paused a moment, looking back at the horses and then at him again before breaking into another smile and nodding. "Ok. What's first?"
"Lesson one, halter breaking. They gotta learn to follow you and give to pressure."
He let go of her hand and motioned for her to stay there while he disappeared into the smaller barn and brought back two halters and ropes. Handed her one and kept the other and then they were both entering the paddock.
"Pick one to start with."
It wasn't difficult to grab a horse since they all ran right over the moment the gate opened. Foals were curious and if they had enough handling from birth they were friendly. They trotted over, forming an inquisitive little circle around the new people in their pen. Attempting to nibble at the ropes and head butt their guests.
He haltered one of the bays and Carol went for the gray. "They're gonna follow us pretty well right now because they're friendly little shits, but when they realize it ain't optional they'll put on the breaks. That's when you just keep that line tight until they take a step forward, then give it slack. If they stop or back up, you give it tension, if they move forward even a step you give it slack. It's that simple."
She nodded at him and they set off leading the babies around the field and just as predicted they followed well, as did the other loose ones. He and Carol were the pied pipers of foals and had a small herd trailing in their wake, but eventually their new friends got bored and attempted to trail off in search of more interesting things, giving him and Carol a chance to put some training into action.
His bay and her gray were mirror images of each other. Stopping and starting over and over again, sometimes taking several steps before deciding this wasn't fun at all and digging in again. They were learning though and Carol had good timing. He noticed it while he snuck glances in her direction in between guiding his own foal. She released at the right time and applied pressure when it was needed and didn't chatter at the horses like most people were tempted to do. She was calm and quiet and the horse responded well, finally walking next to her for at least dozen steps.
"Alright, that's good. Let's cut 'em loose now. The best way we can reward a horse is to leave 'em alone when they do it right."
She nodded to him and un-haltered the gray who bounded away from her in a bouncing fit, his bay followed suit and then they were standing in the middle of the field, watching all the foals romp while he slid an arm around her shoulders tugged her to him.
He wasn't good at any of this touchy feely stuff, never had been. Had always been more apt to keep distance between himself and everyone else, even the few women he attempted to date at Merle's urging hadn't gotten much farther than a couple one night stands before he decided it wasn't worth it to let them too close. But Carol made it easy, she never turned away from him, never rejected his advances, just sunk right into them like she wanted the contact as badly as he did and he found himself gravitating to her at every opportunity.
They hadn't taken this new relationship very far yet, both of them still getting used to this new level of intimacy to take it much further than stolen kisses, but he hungered for more. Wondered if she did too.
"You did real good."
She reached up a hand to cover the one he had at her shoulder, her eyes still watching the babies play. "Thank you for trusting me with them."
He responded with a light tone, teasing her and hoping for the same in return. "Just don't be givin' them too many treats. I know how you are."
She whirled around to face him, a smirk playing on her lips. "Says the man who owns the largest cat in the history of cats."
"Uh huh, says the woman who gives that mare in the barn enough sugar to make her look like she's about to drop a foal of her own."
She scoffed at him. "She's female. She likes a little sugar."
"Oh, I'll give ya some sugar." He reached for her, his hands landing on her hips to pull her back into his space.
"Yeah?"
She went willingly, letting him tug her flush against him and he nodded at her question before leaning down to capture her lips in a kiss. The foals in the pasture got quite the show before Daryl and Carol finally exited the gate, leaving four sets of curious eyes behind.
A few hours later dusk had fallen over the farm and Carol was passing out the last of the feed buckets, ready to run upstairs and have a shower to wash off the remainder of the day. She'd spent a decent amount of time with the babies before finally pulling herself away to tackle the rest of her chores. She was hot and tired and counting each step she took up the stairs to the loft.
She locked the door behind her, kicked her boots off and flung her socks into the laundry room upon passing it, making a beeline for the bathroom and whipped it open without thought. She was halted mid-step by the sight of Daryl directly in front of her at the sink, towel sung low on his hips, hair wet from his own shower and back covered in more scars than she could count. Criss crossing over his skin like a cluster of horrific tree branches.
They both froze for a split second but he soon jerked from his stupor to lunge for a shirt. She caught his arm with her hand, stilling him instantly, her eyes finding his in the mirror and seeing the uncertainly there. Shame and heat flooded his features and she wished she knew how to ease it away.
"Don't." Her voice was whisper soft and she could tell that he was fighting not to pull away from her and cover himself, to stand there and let her look at him under the harsh light of the bathroom, bare and vulnerable for her to judge as she wanted.
Carol wouldn't judge, of course. Hoped he knew that but doubted that their connection was strong enough just yet to chase away all those fears. She took a deep breath and slowly let her other hand that wasn't holding his arm in place flutter over his shoulder, sliding down to linger over the first mark that christened his skin. It was long and thick and she wondered what caused it. It didn't look like anything a belt could have done and certainly hadn't been the product of anyone's bare hands, but she didn't dare ask. Wouldn't voice the question even though she had a perverse desire to know. Some things were better left unsaid.
The pads of her fingers trailed lower to find the next one, similar to the first but curved in a harder arc and leading her directly to a few smaller, circular shaped marks that she knew all too well.
It suddenly made sense. How he'd seemed to know right away about the horrors she'd faced with Ed. At first she brushed it off as him being observant. It wasn't like Ed was shy about being a jerk and she must have given off some pretty strong abused housewife vibes to anyone within seeing distance but now she know it wasn't just that. Someone had hurt him too. He knew what she was hiding because he hid the same thing.
Her hand stopped it's journey, splaying across his upper arm and she chanced a look at him in the mirror again. He was gripping the counter top hard enough to pink the edges of his finger tips and his eyes were fixed on the drain in the sink.
She tugged on him just enough to indicate he should turn and face her and permission to remove his back from her view was apparently what he'd been waiting for because he wasted no time in complying.
He starred at her collarbone instead of her eyes and Carol felt like she should say something but the words died in her throat. What could she say? What would she want someone to say her if it were reversed? She didn't have an answer to that but it did prompt her do something other than speak and she hesitantly gripped the edges of her shirt and lifted it over her head in one smooth motion, leaving her in only a worn bra.
His eyes immediately found hers again, questioning what she was doing but not voicing it. She answered by turning her own back to him, exposing herself in much the same way she'd asked him to do for her only moments ago. She waited there, holding her breath and hoping this wasn't a mistake. Maybe it was too soon.
When she felt his touch she shivered, relief at his acceptance of her invitation flooding through her right along with worry at what he might be thinking as he traced a batch of circular shaped scars that matched his own.
Hers had been from cigarettes that Ed put out against her skin, grouped together like morbid constellations, one of them larger than the rest because he'd been smoking a cigar that day.
Daryl didn't say anything from his spot behind her, but she heard his intake of breath through his teeth when he reached the belt mark that had once split her flesh open wide enough to need twenty seven stitches. Ed had put those in himself, daring her to flinch or cry while he sewed up the wound he inflicted.
She closed her eyes, feeling his hands run over her shoulders and down her arms and inhaling sharply when she felt his lips against the curve of her neck. He peppered small open mouthed kisses against her skin in a slow trail up to the spot behind her ear and she turned around in his grip to face him again, letting him take her bottom lip in his own.
This kiss wasn't like the others. They had been soft and innocent, undemanding of anything more and content to be appreciated for what they were. This one was harder and deeper and promised that there would be more, if she wanted it. Which she most certainly did.
Her arms wound around his neck as she kissed him back, holding him to her and she felt his hands run down her lower back and over her ass, gripping her thighs and lifting her up until she had no choice but to wrap her legs around him and hang on. She exhaled a surprised sound directly into his mouth, breathing heavy as he carried her out of the bathroom and to the bed, depositing her softly against the mattress and following after her as she shifted up against the pillows.
She wasn't certain how he'd managed to keep the towel on, it was a skill all in itself but it didn't take long for both of them to shed what little clothing they had left in between frantic kisses and roaming hands.
He hovered over her, settling between the vee of her legs and no doubt feeling the slick evidence of just how badly she wanted him. She didn't want foreplay, didn't want to wait any longer than she already had, just wanted to feel all of him as soon as she could and when she bent her legs further and inched them up his sides he seemed to get the hint.
"You sure?"
He was watching her face, his expression serious as he held himself back and she only nodded. She was sure. She'd never been more sure of anything. Until the moment he entered her and suddenly she was back in that house again with Ed holding her down and forcing her legs open and her breathing hitched in her throat. Her eyes slammed shut and she clawed at his shoulders, not daring to move, too caught in the memory to realize that he'd stopped. He was saying something to her in a soft voice and she struggled to hear it and not get lost entirely in her own head.
"Hey, it's just me. You're alright. You wanna stop?"
He had a hand against the side of her face, stroking her there with his thumb and when she opened her eyes again she saw only concern reflected back at her in his. She didn't want to stop, but she didn't know how to keep going either.
"No…I want too. I want you. I just think it's this position, it brings back memories and then I'm right back there. I'm sorry…"
He pulled out of her and rolled over and she thought he was upset, that he'd not want her now, that she was being ridiculous and he'd changed his mind but he only tugged at her arm softly.
"Don't be sorry, come're."
She realized what he meant then and hesitantly straddled him. "I don't...I haven't…"
She'd never been on top before, didn't know what to do or how to do it. It couldn't be that difficult but she was far from skilled in this area and it worried at her that he might not enjoy it.
"Just do what feels good, you're in control here."
She nodded and gripped him in her hand, sliding down his length slowly until they were fully joined. Saw his eyes roll back and close and was instantly grateful that he wasn't watching her. Maybe it was on purpose and he knew just how much that would unnerve her, or maybe it was a happy coincidence but she'd take either one.
His hands were kneading her hips in a gentle caress. Not trying to force her to move, but attempting to relax her and she was surprised to find it worked. Her muscles uncoiled and her body rocked against him and it felt better than it had any right to. Better than she'd ever felt it before.
Maybe this was what all the fuss was about.
Her pace had been slow and steady for a while, trying to find a rhythm but once she did it picked up and she felt herself chasing a climax that was just out of reach. In a sudden burst of boldness she took one of this hands and placed his thumb at exactly the right spot. He took direction well, rubbing quick circles there and soon she was exploding around him, her back arching and head thrown back as her body quivered and came hard.
Daryl followed soon after, holding her hips still as he thrust up into her in a few unrestrained strokes that had him coming undone beneath her.
He pulled her down for another kiss before she lifted herself off him and fell back against the bed, wondering what came next. Would he roll over and fall asleep? Did he like to talk or snuggle? It could go either way but she didn't have to wonder long because he wrapped an arm around her waist and urged her to shift back against him.
"Stop thinkin' so hard, just cuddle with me."
She smiled at his choice of words. "You just said cuddle."
He snorted and squeezed her a little tighter. "Sure did. Real men cuddle."
She relaxed against him, feeling like it wouldn't take much longer for sleep to claim her and the rasp in his voice told her he wasn't far off either. "Damn right they do."