DISCLAIMER – I do not own TMI or the characters, that honor goes to Cassie Clare
Clary POV
When my alarm clock sounds, I regret staying up all night texting Jace. I check my phone and see no missed messages. He must have fallen asleep before sending another text message. My last message to him, I can't wait to see you tomorrow. It's already seven in the morning, he would definitely be awake right now. Jace? I send trying to ignore a twinge of doubt creeping in the back of my mind. I get up and get dressed, keeping quiet to hear if my phone goes off.
"Johnathon?" I yell through the hallway. He walks out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. "Never mind," I say quickly instead.
"Oh, come on," he says mocking me. "After what you did with Jace, you can't stand to see me in a towel?"
I figured he had told my brother but it's different knowing for sure. "He told you?" I say picking out a pony tail for my hair. I don't know why I sound disappointed, it's a fact I already knew.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Johnathon says leaning against the door jam.
"I was just wondering if you had spoken to Jace this morning?" I ask placing my eyes towards the floor. Johnathon notices, naturally. "I don't want to create problems with your friends or anything."
"Jace started this one, Clary," He says sitting next to me. For the first time I realized how similar Johnathon looked compared to Jace. Tight abs and muscle wrapping in just the right places, although Jace's biceps are just slightly more toned, I shrug it off. "And yes, I did, before my shower, he said he would see me at school, he had to be there early for something."
"Jace Herondale goes to school early?" I ask trying to make a joke out of it. Maybe he won't think too much into it.
"No," Johnathon says more seriously. "Did something happen? With you two, I mean?" I shake my head. "Don't be afraid to talk to me, Clary, we've always told each other everything." I nod this time and smile. I check myself in the mirror and my hair looks perfect today.
I heard having sex was supposed to help with stuff like that but I didn't think it was true. My face looks fantastic and my eyes beaming an exceptional emerald. I don't even have to wear makeup today if I don't want too.
I still put some on, outlining my eyes and painting my lips. Isabelle would be so proud of me right now. My hair is half up in a ponytail that holds hair out of my face. I pick a pair of ripped, washed out, bright blue jeans that ride high on my hips and slide on my combat boots. I picked out a top that Izzy helped me pick out and slid it over my head. It was form fitting and stopped just at the band of jeans started. I really can look pretty when I try.
Getting to school felt like forever, Johnathon drove us since he wasn't taking Jace and promised to ask him about it when he saw him. My phone still hasn't gone off again since last night and I can't help but feel my throat catch. There's probably just something wrong, or he got caught up.
Johnathon got out of his car first, and swung his bag around his shoulders that made every girl in a walking distance swoon. He headed to his usual place in front of the building, which held about thirty girls and his direct group of teammates from the football team. I catch up with Isabelle who makes her way into the same crowd. "Hey Izzy," I say as confidently as I can manage. She gives me an approving look and locks her arm with mine.
She makes herself a path fairly easily and stay on her heals as we meet Johnathon and Jace in the center. Jace. So much for something being wrong. I stand for a second and Izzy looks over her shoulder at me, waiving for me to follow her. I give Johnathon a look and he returns my look with a short hug. "Oh, Clary," he says pity filling his voice. 'I peeled Kaelie off of him when I got here, he didn't push her away."
I feel the softest whimper leave my lips and he stands still a second. I know I look angry right now. I finally lock eyes with Jace who licks his lips and looks down, ignoring the conversation he was supposed to be in. I pull away from my brother and wipes the corner of my eye. He can't affect me that much, I will not cry. "Don't worry," he winks at me. My brother is more protective than our mother, I can only imagine what will happen for this. "I'll handle it."
I pull Izzy from talking to some cheerleader and she stares widely at me. Catching on to the uncomfortable situation, she leads me out of the crowd and we find Simon sitting at a table.
"That's what Johnathon said," I said playing with my fingers.
"I really thought it was different this time," Izzy says placing herself next to Simon. He wraps each of his arms around both of us and squeezes.
"My two favorite girls," he says pecking Isabelle on the cheek and tapping at my waist. We catch him up and he looks furious. "You know," Simon starts again, "Football tryouts are after school today, I was thinking of playing again."
Simon was nowhere near as ripped as Jace or even Johnathon, but compared to the rest of the team, he could handle himself. "So are cheer tryouts," Izzy says handing me the flier from the cheerleader I pulled her away from. She looks so excited and I can already tell she's planning on attending.
"How awesome," Simon says raising an eyebrow. "I would love to be dating a hot cheerleader." I roll my eyes and Izzy smiles deviously at him.
"I'm right here guys," I say trying to pull the attention out of the gutter.
"Which is why you are coming with me," she says like it was supposed to be obvious. Before I can have a chance to decline she cuts me off. "You are coming, Clary. If anything, just to show Jace that he missed out and you're a hell of a catch."
"We talked all night," I said placing my phone on the table. "I will see what is going on later." I know that stuff like this is typical for Jace but I really thought this time was different. Then again, doesn't every girl think they are different.
The bell rings and I decide it would be better to go to class instead of waiting on Jace or Johnathon to catch up. The day actually is going by fairly smooth before English comes. Mrs. Penhollow is already sitting in her chair when I arrive. I plant myself in my chair and put my head down, letting my curls land expertly around my shoulders. Just like any normal day, I can tell when Jace walks into the room because he is followed by Aline and three other girls on his trail.
Dear today, because I am too lazy to count days anymore,
This notebook is supposed to be filled with notes from Mrs. Penhollow's lectures but are instead filled with the words I cannot say out loud. Sometimes I just wish I was brave, and strong, and more like everyone else. If I was brave, then maybe I could have the courage to say what I really want to say to people. Just tell someone that it hurts feeling like Jace is avoiding me, maybe he's done with me, maybe I didn't do good enough for him.
I know we just talked last night, but what's stopping him from talking now? Just like always, I can feel him looking at me as am scribbling and just like always, I try and ignore it. Is it really that easy for him to go back to normal? Even after everything he said to me. Just a few days ago he admitted that he's wanted me for so long, and I gave into him. Just Saturday night, after what we did. I told myself this was a bad idea. Even now, sitting right here, I can feel his gaze and he still remains silent.
On the other hand, I promised Izzy at lunch today that I would go to cheerleading tryouts with her after school. We have to stay anyways because our brothers have to be at football tryouts. I can't believe school only started a week ago. If someone would have told me two weeks ago, I would be looking this beautiful, trying out for cheerleading, no longer ignored at school, and entirely and absolutely positively in love with Jace Herondale, I would have laughed it off as a joke. I thought I knew how he felt, he only told me plenty of times over the last few days. Why do boys have to be so complicated?
The bell interrupts me and I stand as fast as I can. I don't look back twice as I have the chance to be the third person out of this room. I don't want to deal with boy drama right now, I just want to get through gym class.
It turns out that nothing was planned for our class today because the regular gym teachers were also the football coaches and they were preparing for tryouts. The class decided on dodge ball and guess who just had to be the captains, Jace and Johnathon. Johnathon gives me a reassuring look that says he won't let me be picked last and I keep my eyes on him instead of Jace. After all the boys are picked first, I noticed it was Jace's turn to pick. My eyes were still on Johnathon but I wasn't breathing. "Clary Morgenstern," Jace says high fiving the boy next to him. Johnathon makes a fist at his side and quickly lays it flat again.
I walk over to the group standing behind Jace and stay silent. Johnathon picks a senior girl and one of the guys whispers to Jace. "Iz," he says waiving a hand. Izzy looks like she could rip his throat out right now.
"So, you get 'Clary Morgenstern'," Izzy says quietly joining me, "And I get 'Iz'?" I hold back the urge to want to hit something and I figured I will have the chance during the game. I nod at Izzy and she takes a half step back from me. "He still hasn't said anything?"
"No," I say as quiet as I can. I go to Jonathon for a second and nudges my shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he says flashing a glare at Jace. "These teams are pretty evenly matched."
"Just aim low," I wink returning to Izzy's side.
There was five people left on our side. Izzy because she's been standing in back with that girl Courtney the entire game, Jace and two other football players because they were good, and me because I am good at dodging. Just as promised, when both sides were dwindling in numbers, Johnathon throws a really fast ball at Jace right when he was busy making a throw of his own, and it hits him. The thud that came from the dodge ball connecting with Jace's dick was the best thing I have heard all day. I felt a sense of pride rush back over me when the ball hits the floor indicating Jace was out. Izzy and I looked at each other and she said something to Courtney. The three of us walked up to the middle of the gym and tagged ourselves out.
The game was considered over then, and the boys gave us irritated looks. The three of us just smiled at them and I flicked my hair back when Jace looked over. "Izzy told me what's been going on," Courtney says looking sympathetic. If it wasn't for this blonde bimbo I would never have been left to stand in that closet alone with Jace in the first place. My mind goes back to that night and how alone I felt. I might have felt alone that night, but I wasn't alone for long. I tried to push Jace out of my mind.
"She did?" I ask Izzy.
"But I thought you should know," Courtney continued anyways, "Kaelie got kicked of the cheer team last weekend because she got caught with some dude trespassing, I don't know much else. But she can't try out again either."
"Okay," I said trying to match their excitement. I didn't really care because Kaelie was the least of my worries right now. It must have meant something huge to Izzy and Courtney though because they started jumping up and down. I had finished changing a few minutes ago and the school bell has already rung so I decided I should go and find Johnathon before tryouts start.
"Sorry," I said running into someone standing right outside the doors. "Jace," I quickly noticed. My heart dropped and I could feel my entire body tense up.
"You told Johnathon to 'aim low'?" Jace asks crossing his arms in front of him. I force back a twinge of embarrassment and try walking away. He catches up with me in just a couple of steps. "Clary," he says turning me into an abandoned classroom.
"Maybe," I say stubbornly.
"Why," he says getting closer to me. He's so close I could jump him right now but I close my eyes and stick my hand up. I didn't mean for my hand to connect with his chest, and I feel the longing for his touch all over again. I take a step back instead.
"You talk to me one time today and it's because I hurt your pride?" I say angrily. Jace takes a small step back this time. I try and read his eyes but they are just as unreadable as they have been since I met him – like this weekend never happened. "Were you even planning on this working out?" I say finally. I have wanted to say those words all day. He doesn't move, but he doesn't take his eyes off me either. "Just like always, right?" I rubbed the inside of my eyes where I was forcing a tear back. "Sleep with a girl and that's it?"
"No-," he tried to say.
"That's not what I was interested in," I say walking around him. He didn't stop me. I fall silent and put my hands up for him to explain himself, and he doesn't.
"What do you want from me, Clary?" He asks instead. I can't believe he just asked that question. I can hear Izzy outside the door and I can tell she's listening because her voice fell silent.
"What do I want?" I repeat his question. "I want that guy that stood in my bedroom so I didn't have to go through that night alone. I want the Jace that would make me feel special without even trying when I first moved to New York." I decide it's probably smart by now to stop holding back. "I want the guy that looked at me like I was different, and not just one of his flings."
I storm out of the room and almost run into Izzy. I do my best not to look back but eventually I gave in. "Oh, honey," Izzy says pulling me in. She shoots a deadly stare at Jace who was still looking at me. "Let's go," she says finally pulling me with her down the hallway. Somewhere along the way she had ditched Courtney, thank god.
"Can we just talk about this later?" I say staring at myself in a classroom window. I fix myself up and she nods quietly.
Jace POV
What was I supposed to say? Why do I have to be so stupid? I always ruin everything.
I watch her, she's so angry with me. I didn't think that Clary of all people would be the type to try and lash out. She's always been so gentle and caring. I vaguely remember my father teaching me before he left, "to love is to destroy, son." I always just thought he was talking about losing my mom so soon. Did I really hurt Clary so bad I destroyed her? She obviously thinks that she has something to prove to herself or me or just in general. I watch her grab for the doorknob and I feel nothing but guilt, I try as hard as I can push back feeling hurt.
I don't deserve to feel hurt right now, this is all my fault. What's even worse, Johnathon knows it too.
Tryouts for football went faster than everyone thought. It took half an hour to try out all of the freshmen, there was only about ten of them. Word had spread that since school got cancelled tomorrow, there would be a celebration at Johnathon's house after tryouts. As far as I had heard, everyone I could think of was going. It kind of sucked that Johnathon didn't tell me about it himself, I heard from a lousy sophomore.
"Johnathon," I said catching up with him in the locker room. Everyone else was already gone and he was trying to get home before a lot of people showed up. He looked down at his locker for a second and I knew this was it.
"Stupid, dumb ass," he says standing straight. I just noticed he can be kind of frightening when he wants to be. Before I could think again, he punches me right in the jaw. My vision instantly goes blurry and I know it bruise bad. "I told you not to fuck with my sister." He steps up and I take a step back.
"I didn't mean too," I get in. He stops himself and gives me more time to speak. "Maybe I did, I don't know." That didn't help my case. Think. "Honestly, man, I didn't think."
"I got that far," Johnathon says angrily. "I have to go meet Clary."
"Wait a second," I say quickly. "I need you to believe me. When I spoke to her, she was really mad at me, or hurt, or both. I've never wanted someone like this before, I was so scared to mess up, and then I left my phone at my house. When she looked sad, I gave her space, but then I don't know."
"Your phone is where?" Johnathon asks hitting the lockers next to him.
"I left it at home, it was accident," I said trying to show him my empty pockets. "After I talked to you, I thought it was in my bag, but then it wasn't. I wanted to talk to her before school but then Kaelie tried getting all up on me."
"That's why she was hurt," Johnathon says finally.
"She told you?" I ask trying not to sound hurt myself.
"You didn't answer her this morning," he starts, "and then we saw you with Kaelie, and you didn't talk to her all day. She thought you were done with her, like any regular girl."
"I didn't know," I said sitting down. "Can I come to the party? Try and talk to her again?" I ask. I felt it was appropriate to ask permission because I don't want to see a real fight break out.
"Come on, Jace," Johnathon says getting out his car keys. "If you need, I can talk to her first."
Waiting just outside the front doors, in the parking lot, was Clary and Izzy. Izzy rolled her eyes at me right when she saw me. Clary turned away completely. I just want to hold her, tell her everything will be okay, and make sure she knows it was an accident. I didn't mean to hurt her.
Alec drove the girls to their house I'm assuming because I didn't see them when we got to the Morgenstern's. Johnathon decided that since he didn't even change into football gear, that he wasn't going to shower. He told me to take one though because I smelled like 'freshmen sweat'. I didn't argue and was actually kind of grateful to take a quick shower.
Clary POV
I decide that I should go fix my makeup before helping set up for the party. I open the bathroom door to see that Johnathon was taking a shower. I fix my pony tail and put a new coat of lipstick on.
"Can you hand me a towel, Johnathon," I hear from behind the curtain.
"You are not my brother," I try and say calmly.
"Shit, Clary." It's Jace. I stand frozen for a second and Johnathon comes from his bedroom carrying a towel. I look at my brother dumbfounded.
"No need to be embarrassed, Clary," Jace says instead. "Nothing you haven't seen before." I focus on myself in the mirror. Johnathon puts a hand to my shoulder and whispers to me.
"It's not what you think," he says. He tries to cover up his words by handing Jace the towel. "He'll explain everything." Jace wraps the towel around himself and steps out from behind the shower curtain. I know I am staring but by the angle, he's so hot. My eyes trace from the line of his towel, up his perfectly toned abs, the perfect roundness to the muscles wrapping around his arms, and his lips. Those lips that were mesmerizing to me just a couple of days ago. I force my eyes to look away and go back to fixing my hair in the mirror.
"I see you guys made up quickly," I say trying to sound relaxed. I know my voice sounds off right now and I blame the perfection of his body distracting me from being angry at him.
"You can keep staring," he says taking a step towards me. He pushes his hair back from his face and it's impossible not to see it. I try a smirk but it wasn't convincing. "Your brother told me what was wrong," he tries again. I pucker my lips in the mirror. "I thought you avoiding me, so I gave you space. I didn't respond to you because I left my phone at home."
"I know," I say finally. I didn't know that turning around to look him in the eye would put me so close to him. I can see the cut in his bottom lip where it looks like it was sliced. I was about to think the worst until he tilted his head up and I saw the bruise. "How did you get that?" I reach up to his face to get a better look at it but I stop myself.
"What do you mean, you know?" He says instead.
"Alec told me," I say forming a smile. "Just a few minutes ago in the car. He has your phone by the way." Jace looks embarrassed now. "You still could have spoken to me though." I put my hands on my hips.
"Clary-," he says reaching for my hands.
"Hey I need your lipstick," Izzy says barging into the bathroom. "Oh, Jace, put some clothes on!"
He flinches his hands back and I step away. I follow Izzy out of the bathroom and leave him a smile before I close the door behind us. The thought of Jace standing inches away from me naked, makes my brain buzz.
Another update :). I will update again here soon, so you guys can have the party scene! Enjoy the lovely fall weather if you're not too busy reading! xoxo