ULQUIORRA POV
The only sound heard is the sound of my feet quietly padding down the halls.
Well, if you don't count the constant self-hate lecture pounding through my conscious.
I can't believe that I forgot my math textbook in my locker. If I wasn't the apathetic shit that I am, I would be slamming my head into the nearest flagpole.
But really. I'm extremely upset due to this. Extremely.
See? This is me being upset here. True anger.
I cover my forehead with my hand and sigh. God, I suck at this. Maybe Nel is right. I should try to care more about my surroundings. And self.
I remove my hand from my forehead and pause for a minute outside of a door.
Did I hear something?
I roll my eyes at myself. Of course I did, trash, I'm in a goddamn school.
Kicking up the level of my internal lecture, I begin to walk again.
I shouldn't be so ignorant and unanalytic. Only trash is ignorant and unanalytic. I am not trash. Wait, no, I am trash for being both of the things that define trash. But I must strive to not be trash. I should practice being mo-
"GRIMM!"
My eyes snap up at the name.
Goddamn it, what did Grimmjow do now? The guy has been completely idiotic and trashy ever since I met him. And now he's being weird about things too. Like basically jumping on me shirtless. What is wrong with him?
Oh well, it would probably be wise to go check up on him. No telling just how far he will go to screw up our little operation. Mr. Ichimaru won't care if I don't come back, anyways.
I open up the door and silently slip in.
What.
I am greeted by the lovely sight of Nnoitra supporting Grimmjow, who seems to be unconscious, while Shiro frantically tries to wake him via slapping his face. Oh hey, it's Ichigo.
I begin to walk over to my friend to get the 411 on the situation when my view is obscured by...
...holymotherfuckingshit.
I mentally slap myself for cursing, then proceed to slowly look up at what appears to be a person. Maybe.
"Who are you?" thunders out a voice.
I gulp. I'm not scared. The mere idea is absolutely preposterous. I'mnotscaredI'mnotscaredI'mno-
The towering beast leans in, covering me in thick purple hair.
I squeak. There's no denying it.
"I said, who are you?" the figure questions me again, then shoots me a wink. Dear god.
I quickly gather myself. I will not be bested by such trash. "I am Ulquiorra, and I want to know what happened to-"
"OH THANK GOD!" the boy cries out dramatically, then sweeps me up off my feet and basically throws me on Grimmjow's dead form, now situated in an awkward position on the floor.
He kinda looks like Snow White. Except he's tan. And has blue hair. And-
-Never mind he doesn't look like Snow White.
I let out a pained hiss as I land on Grimmjow's rock-hard chest, now straddling him. Trash. That guy should really put on some more fat.
Ichigo notices my presence. "Ulqui! What are you-"
"YOU NEED TO SAVE HIM!" he purple-haired guy sobs.
I wipe all the shock from my face as soon as it sets in. Emotions are for trash, bitches.
"Um, I'm sorry, mister...?"
"Cuulhorne."
The name rings a bell. I'll think about it later. "Yes, mister Cuulhorne, but I have reasons to believe that he's not actually dead or dying or in any substantial physical pain at all, so technically, I can't save-"
"HE'S DEAD? OH GOD, DO SOMETHING!" he screams. "MOUTH-TO-MOUTH, QUICKLY!"
"Eh?" is all I manage to get out before a strong hand is gripping my entire head, pushing me down towards...
...Oh no.
Everything goes by in slow motion. Tanned lips are racing at my face, faster and faster. I feel my eyes widen to the point that I could easily pop them out and stick them back in. I'm about 2 inches away when it happens.
Crystal blue eyes flash open. And then...
...Contact.
My face is smothered in all that is Grimmjow. His face isn't so bad-looking, actually. His cheekbones are nicely defined, his nose nearly perfectly sized, and his eyes, still hazy from passing out, really are deep enough to drown in. I can see why all the girls wanna get in his pants. Guys too. He smells like that cool sea foam shampoo that my grandparents have at their beach cottage, but he also smells kinda fruity.
Did I really just think all of that? I'm going insane.
I struggle against the hand holding me liplocked with the cocky douche bag, only to find it useless. Curse this student-devil and his gigantic self. I'll have to remember to deal with this insignificant inbred swine later on.
My struggling seems to be counter-intuitive, seeing as my lips are ravenously crashing down on his every time I turn my head.
Grimmjow still seems kinda disoriented, so as long as I can get out of this before he realizes what's happening, I think that I'll be okay, and if I can get Ichigo and Shiro to help-
My thoughts are interrupted as a new sensation tickles my lips. It's... wet?
Aw, gross, now my lips are wet. What the heck is that?
I run my tongue over my lips trying to get the whatever-it-is off. It tastes kinda good, actually. Like fruits.
Wrong move.
I look down at the blue-haired teenager under me. A playful glint lights up his eyes.
It all clicks.
Fuck.
He seems to have decided that me cleaning off my lips is a sign that I am totally okay with this and want more of "his awesome sexiness," as he says.
His tongue sticks out again to lap at my own, which is still inconveniently sticking out.
"Hey there, Ulqui. What's up?" he teases as he breaks off a bit.
I open my mouth to tell him exactly what is up, and why he's gonna end up in a mental institution because of it.
Wrong move. Again.
A slick muscle is soon making itself at home in my mouth. The fruity flavor that I smelled and tasted before now sweep my senses completely. His tongue goes over every tooth in my mouth and then makes a go for my own tongue. I'm furiously battling him, trying to push it out with all my, uh, mouth-strength, but I fail hopelessly. This guy has way more experience than I do in the sloppy lip-sex department.
Speaking of experience, he seems to know a lot of sensitive spots. I suddenly feel him flick the roof of my mouth and ohnothatfeltgood.
"Mmmph," is all that comes out when I try to tell him to cease.
AGAIN WITH THE WRONG MOVES.
He decides that I'm now moaning in ecstasy, and takes the initiative to bring his arms up and loop them around my lower back.
Hell.
Fucking.
NO.
I lose my shit. I mean, it's my LOWER BACK. That's crossing the line. Not that he wasn't crossing it before, but whatever. Something inside me just snaps, and I'm going all out crazy drag queen on this fucker.
Shit just hit the fan, motherfuckers.
With newfound strength, I bite the invading tongue, earning a cry of pain from underneath me, and push myself up off the floor, spinning around in the air and sending my foot on a hate date with the purple-haired asshole's face.
I land on my side, so I roll over, backflip into a standing position, and plant a foot on Grimmjow's head.
The class is gawking at me now. I can't tell whether it's because of my crazy ninjastic moves, or the fact that I was tongue-tied with Grimmjow. Probably a mix of both.
A great deal of time passes while we all awkwardly stare at each other. The silence is broken when I slip a little bit and dig my foot into Grimm's head harder, causing him to groan. Oops.
"Well, it's been fun, but we gotta go now, right King?" Shiro states as he waltzes over to me and grabs my arm.
"Yes, I must agree. Didn't you want to show us something in the library, Ulquiorra?" Ichigo says, playing along with the act.
I am silent as the twins drag me out into the hall and hightail to the library on the first floor of the building.
The two plop me down into a seat and take places on either side of the chair, scrutinizing my every move. Unnerving, but not uncalled for.
"Is there something you guys want?" I question dully.
A gentle hand lands on my shoulder. "Ichigo and Shiro may not want anything, but I have a few questions," comes a voice from behind me.
I sigh. Here we go again. How Nel knows where I am and my current state of being at any given time is over my head, but I learned to accept it a while ago.
Nel spins the chair around to face her and leans over me, checking my body for any damage. She grabs my head and turns it from side to side, lifts my arms, pats down my chest for broken ribs or something, and does some other stuff that I don't really feel comfortable thinking about.
"Nel, I'm fine," I sigh. She really is much too protective. It's like she's my mother. I already have one of those, and she does a pretty okay job.
"Are you sure, Ulqui? I get really worried whenever you hang around-" She makes a disgusted face "-Grimmjow."
I look up at her again. "I'm not hanging around him, or anything of the sort. I'm simply helping him recover shreds of his social standing in exchange for some help with my problems."
Nel raises an eyebrow at this. "What problems, exactly?"
Ichigo, who had been zoning out up until now, suddenly snapped to attention, startling his twin.
"Oh, Ulquiorra, that reminds me! I saw Grimmjow the other day when I was out shopping, and he thinks that-"
"Quiet, Ichi," Nel scolds. "I need some answers out of him, and this may be the only time he decides to spill."
"But it's really important! Grimm thinks-"
"Grimm doesn't think, Strawberry! Now cool it!"
"But-"
In seconds, Nel is looming over him, back arched and nail at his throat.
"Don't make me give you one of my hugs," she rumbles.
"Uh, hahaha, no, it's okay Nel, I was just, um, gonna go read that book over, uh, over there, and, um, I was, err, and then, uh, bye!"
I feel some sweat running across my forehead. That girl is quite frightening.
When she turns to face me, she's smiling happily again and I swear there are rainbows forming a halo around her head.
"Okay, back to business Ulqui-lala!" she sings. "So what did Grimmjow promise you?"
I clear my throat and force myself to relax again. "He said that he would help me establish intelligence-collection connections with Orihime Inoue, who would be a key source for information on the crowd of girls containing Tatsuki Arisawa and Chizuru Honsho. She would also be ideal for learning secrets of Rukia Kuchiki, which I'm sure Ichigo would be very interested in. I haven't gotten Rukia earlier because Renji is always obscuring my path. Orihime, on top of everything, would also give me exclusive access to Rangiku Matsumoto, and with her, I can learn everything there is to know about the juniors.
Unfortunately, when we were in middle school Orihime and I had this awkward encounter. We were both in art class together, and we had to wear old T-shirts as smocks because the budget for the school was low that year after paying for the damage that a raging storm over the summer had done to the roof. Orihime was my seat partner, so we would always share brushes and materials. One day, we were taking off our smocks, and her shirt accidentally came up with it. I was leaning down to pick up a stray pencil, and when I brought my head back up, I unknowingly got a face-full of boob. Because I didn't know that breasts were the things smothering my face, I reached up to grab at them and save myself from suffocating on the weird whatever-they-weres. I ended up groping her through her bra, and we didn't ever really talk or even look at each other after that.
After that incident, I didn't really confront her ever again. Now that I need her, I have no way to approach her. Grimmjow, however, is in prime position to get things normal between the two of us again, and help reconstruct our friendship. Orihime is my gateway to around half of the school, so that is why I am trying to help Grimmjow to the best of my abilities."
A flash of disapproval sweeps Nel's face, but is quickly replaced with begrudging understanding.
"Okay then. One more thing," she informs me.
A serial killer smile erupts across her face. "What exactly happened in the French classroom not moments ago?"
Oh.
I fight the blood undoubtedly rushing to my face as I scramble to answer her. "Well, you see, I was going back to my locker from Mr. Ichimaru's class to get my textbook, and, uh, I heard some commotion in the French room, so, err, I went in, and this person was unconscious on the floor, and then this kid freaked out and, um, pushed me into the passed out person, and we kinda, uh..."
"Go on..." she urges in a deadly tone.
"We basically kissed," I say in defeat. There's no lying to Nel, she always knows.
I feel her get this quick spasm through her grip on my shoulder. "Would this person that you happened to kiss, per chance, have blue hair?"
"..."
"Ulquiorra... You know that I'll find out in the end..."
"Blue hair is a possibility..."
Her grip on my shoulder tightens to the point that I'm sure my bone has fractured.
"Nel!" I gasp as I frantically try to save my arm.
"Oh! Sorry, Ulqui," she apologizes as she relinquishes her hold and massages my shoulder instead.
"Nel, it was just once. And it's not like he was the one to initiate it. Cuulhorne pushed me onto him while he wasn't awake," I tell her.
She forcibly swallows and relaxes behind me.
"Alright Ulqui, but be careful around him. You know that he has friends in high places," she warns me.
"I know, but so do I," I reply calmly. "And on top of that, I have you to keep him in place."
Her face is rapidly filled with a fond glow at the last statement. "You bet ya do, Ulquicakes!"
She pulls me into a hug and drags me off of the chair. I really do love Nel, and she knows it too. She's the closest thing to a big sister I've ever had.
"You know what, Ulqui? I think that you and I should go home a little early today. You've been through a lot," she sings.
"What?"
I suddenly find myself being ushered out of the library. I see Ichigo and Shiro behind a bookshelf, peering at our former position through a gap in a shelf of Harry Potter books.
Ichigo turns to face me quickly and frantically motions for me to text him whenever I can. He looks absolutely panicked. It's kind of a funny look for him, seeing as he's usually so calm or ridiculously angry.
It's also kinda funny because Shiro is standing behind him pelvic thrusting into a Twilight book. We always hated those books anyways.
I make a mental note to get in touch with my redheaded friend as Nel sweeps me through the library doors and straight out of the school.
"Do you wanna get ice cream or something?" she asks me as she runs over to the bike racks and begins to unlock her bike.
I ponder it for a minute. I'm not big on ice cream myself, but maybe my little brother will want some.
I nod to Nel to confirm my approval as I lean down to unlock my bike as well. Speaking of my brother, I better keep an eye out for him. I feel kind of silly now, because I sort of got him into a bit of a predicament.
My mind wanders back to when I went over Grimmjow's "Liste." When I saw Luppi's name on there, I couldn't say that I was surprised. He always did enjoy staying in the middle of the action. I put down threaten and sex as a joke, but I think that Grimmjow took me seriously. He probably doesn't even know that Luppi's my little brother. I wouldn't put it past him, but he should know, since his little brother is in the same grade as Luppi. He also probably thinks that I am incapable of making jokes. I hope that Grimmjow doesn't do anything drastic before I have the chance to explain things.
Because if that blue-haired piece of shit tries to rape my little brother, I'm going to rip his intestines out and hang him with them while I burn his scrotum.
Yeah, I'm a little Nel-like when it comes to Luppi. Mother is an adequate caretaker, but she's not very emotional. That's probably where I get it from. Luppi, however, isn't like that; he needs someone to socialize with and dote over him. I'm not usually one to care, but I can't help it when it's Luppi.
"Ulquiorra! You still there?" Nel asks as she pokes my cheek.
Oops, I guess I spaced out again. I should stop doing that. Only trash does that.
"Uh, yeah," I reply. "Let's go."
And with that, we both mount our bikes and take off down the street.
I feel rather irresponsible skipping school like this, but I'm ahead in all my classes anyways, so it won't be too life-shattering.
I pound away at the pedals below me, gaining velocity. I enjoy going fast; it's one of the few things that really makes me happy.
Nel pulls up closer to me as we reach the busier part of town. She looks behind us for a moment, and quickly snaps back around. It was only there for the slightest of a second, but I could swear that she looked scared.
"Nel, are you-"
"Let's go this way," she cuts in quickly and takes of across the road, heading right.
I swerve around and tail her.
My brows furrow in thought. How strange. Nel is never worried.
When she looks back to see if I'm still with her, she looks perfectly fine. "Come on, Ulqui! We can go to that cool new place that opened up across from the park!"
When she looks forward again, I frown a little. She's not fooling me.
She turns again, and I follow her into the park. We ride past a group of children goofing around on the playground, seeing as the elementary school kids get a day off today, then breeze past an elderly couple feeding the birds.
We cruise through the park, passing joggers, couples, business people, and finally, Shiro and Ichigo's little sister and her soccer team.
We wave as we pass them, earning friendly greetings and huge smiles. I miss when we were all that young.
Finally making it to the other side of the park, Nel and I chain our bikes to the park fence and dash across the street, nearly getting run over a few times.
Nel grabs my hand, and together we get in the short line in front of Yumi's Yummy Ice Cream.
"What do you think you want?" she asks me as she looks over the countless flavors.
I look up at the list. Luppi likes berry flavors, so I'll get some of those in a waffle bowl or something.
Nel looks over at me and grins. "Not Luppi, silly! What do YOU want? I'll pay for Luppi and you, how about that?"
Ignoring the fact that she basically read my mind, I let my gaze slide back over to my green-haired guardian. "It's alright, Nel, I don't really need ice cream."
"Aww, come on Ulqui," she protests. "Everyone likes ice cream! Now stop being so modest and choose whatever you like, or I'll choose for you!"
With a sigh, I look back to my options. I like mint, and vanilla always seems good...
"I'll just take a scoop of vanilla and a scoop of mint, then," I tell her.
"Do you want any toppings? I hear that the fudge is to die for," she hums.
Mmm, fudge.
"Yeah, okay, fudge sounds good."
"Woot!" she yells as we find ourselves in the front of the line.
An angry looking bald guy turns to us.
"I'm Ikkaku. Whaddya want?" he growls.
His unfriendly attitude doesn't hinder Nel. "My friend here will have a vanilla and mint cone with fudge, and we'd also like a large waffle bowl with strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, cherry, blackberry, and any other berry stuff ya got, along with strawberry syrup on top, and I would like a cone with lemon, chocolate, kiwi, vanilla, coffee, toffee, ooh! That birthday cake stuff! Um, orange sorbet, french vanilla, mango, cotton candy, err, butterscotch, pinneapple... aw, heck, just put it all on! Oh, and whipped cream and a cherry on top."
The guy, Ikkaku, looks at her blankly.
Poor dude.
He turns around and calls back to his friend in the back. "Hey, Yumichika! We got a big order here! One vanilla mint fudge cone, one large all-berry waffle cone with strawberry sauce, and one cone with every flavor we have along with whipped cream and a cherry!"
A flamboyant dude with colorful eyebrow extensions and chin-length hair pops out of the back in a chef hat. I don't really see why he would need the chef hat in an ice cream store, but I'm not one to judge.
"One with everything?" he asks incredulously.
"That's right," the angry guy replies.
I can see Yumichika's face light up. The guy looks overjoyed, like he never gets chances like these.
He soon disappears back into the room, and Ikkaku tells us that he'll bring us the ice cream when it's all ready.
"It shouldn't take long, but you may wanna sit down. Yumi can do some weird stuff sometimes."
"Alright, thank you."
Nel and I walk over to a nearby table and seat ourselves. Prime time for interrogation.
"Nel?" I begin.
"Hmm?"
I take a breath. "What was that back there? What scared you?"
Her face warps a little, but quickly fades to something rather akin to tiredness.
"It doesn't matter that much, Ulqui. Everything is fine," she says.
I raise a brow. "By the sound of it, I have reason to think differently."
"Listen, it's really complicated and I don't want you getting yourse-"
"Nel. I tell you everything. Know that you can talk to me about things too."
She sighs again, then looks me in the eyes. I send her back a determined stare.
She folds her hands under her chin and closes her eyes. "Okay Ulquiorra, but only because I know that you can take care of yourself. I saw the Vizards back there, and they didn't look like they were getting along too well with some other thugs. I know that the Vizards aren't known for violence, but they do illegal dealings and all, and I don't think they're safe to hang around."
She opens her eyes and looks into mine again. "There are some kids in our school that have ties with them, and that makes those kids prone to danger or dangerous themselves. I don't think that he knows it, but I think that Grimmjow is one of them. Not in that gang itself, mind you, but closely interwoven with their dealings. I know for a fact that Shuuhei is friends with one of the higher members of the group, and Grimmjow is fairly close to Shuu. On top of that, I have my suspicions about other things."
Nel reaches over and touches my shoulder a little bit. "It's not that I don't like Grimmjow; I think that he's fine, really. But I'm worried about him because of who he hangs around, and I don't want you getting stuck in any of that. Plus Nnoitra should rot in hell."
I tilt my head a little in question. I already knew that Shuuhei had ties with the Vizards, who the Vizards are, what they do, and how they do it. I knew that Grimm probably had voluntary or involuntary actions concerning the group. I'm an info broker; it's my job to know this stuff.
But she has other suspicions?
"Nel, what do you mean when you say you are suspicious about other things?" I inquire.
Nel leans back in her chair. "I'm not quite sure myself, but I always get this feeling that there's more to Grimmjow than meets the eye."
"Well, that all seems very interesting, kiddies, but I'm sure this ice cream will shut ya up for a while," Ikkaku says as he dishes us out our ice cream.
Nel thanks him and pays him, and he saunters away.
I'm tucking into my cone and Nel ravenously devours hers.
"Is it good?" I ask teasingly.
"Mmmph, yeh, ith weally goo!" she mumbles out through her layers of frozen sugar.
I stare down at the ice cream we had gotten for Luppi. "Hey, Nel, I should probably get home and freeze this ice cream before it-"
"BRAINFREEZE!" she cries out as she slams her head into the table and whimpers for a few seconds before fully recovering and going at it again.
I shake my head at her antics and smirk a little.
"Nel, I'm going to go home now so that Luppi's ice cream doesn't spoil. Thanks for the treat," I say as I get up to leave.
I pick up Luppi's ice cream and my own, only to have Nel grab at my sleeve.
"Ulquiorra..."
"Yes?"
"Just... be careful, okay?"
I look down at her and give her a genuine smile. "I will, Nel."
She looks relieved and lets me go.
I turn around and head over to my bike.
After sprinting across the street and unlatching my bike, I turn and wave to Nel one last time.
"Bye, Nel!" I call out.
She looks over, her face coated in a rainbow of creamy goodness. "Bye, Ulqui!"
I jump onto my bike and take off down the sidewalk. I'm fairly decent at riding bikes, so it was no trouble for me to tuck Luppi's ice cream in my arm, hold my cone, and steer the bike single-handedly. Luckily for me, my house is really close to the park, so getting home won't take long at all. Mother won't be home from work until later, so I won't have to worry about any questions. Not that she would ask me anything, anyways. She never really says much.
Turning a corner at a bookstore and riding down a few blocks, after a few more twists and spins I arrive at my home. It's nothing big; just a homely little condo unit.
I latch my bike to the bike railings outside of the complex and make my way to the stairs.
As I ascend, I fish out my key, twirling it through the air.
I go up to the third and final floor, striding over to the farthest door on the left. Condo 1246. My home.
I unlock the door gently and push my way inside.
I kick off my shoes and shove them into a corner as I begin to make my way to the kitchen.
"Eh, Ulquiorra, why are you home so early?" trills a familiar voice.
Enter: Luppi Antenor. 14 years old. Jet black hair that follows the frame of his face. Sleek purple eyes. Kept our father's last name at the request of Mother, even though Father left us before Luppi was born. A little on the short side, but still growing. Almost always happy, teasing, and energetic. Can be pretty gay sometimes, but makes up for it by dating a bunch of hot girls way older than him. You can get chicks easy like that when you're just that adorable.
I nearly jumped out of my skin and dropped the ice cream when I was pounced on by my little brother.
"Ooh, is that ice cream? Did you get the berry one for me? Aw, so sweet, Ulquiorra!" he laughs.
With him still clinging onto my back, I walk to the kitchen and set both ice creams down before reaching behind me and wrenching him off my back.
"Luppi, first of all, you won't get the ice cream if you keep acting like such a child. Second, why are you yourself home so early? School doesn't officially let off for around another five hours," I lecture.
He pouts at me. "I'm not acting like a kid, and school was boring today, so I left! Plus, that blue-haired guy Grimmjow started chasing me down the hall after third period, so I decided to come home."
I rub my temple and sigh. Dammit, Grimmjow. Why are you so stupid?
"Fine, fine, but only this once. Skipping school is for trash," I mutter.
"Yeah! Now let's eat some ice cream!" he cries out happily.
I smile a bit and hand him the ice cream. He grabs it from me greedily and immediately starts lapping it up.
I flick his forehead at this. "Spoon, Luppi. Get a spoon."
He sticks his tongue out at me. "Nooooo."
I roll my eyes and turn around to go back to the living room. "Whatever. Just don't complain to me when your face is sticky and covered in cream."
As I walk away, I hear him grumbling and pulling open a drawer to get out a spoon like I told him to.
Good kid.
I start a little as the door opens again. Turning, I see Mother coming in through the hallway.
She looks at me and then continues on past.
Enter: Nemu Cifer. I'm really not sure how old she is, but I would assume she would be somewhere in her mid-thirties. Deep green eyes rather like my own, accented by long black hair, typically braided. Doesn't speak much, or show any emotion for that matter. Despite lack of feeling, she doesn't completely disregard Luppi and I. She makes sure that we are adequately taken care of, provides for our needs and wants, and helps us whenever we require it. She could be a little more expressive, but she does a pretty good job taking care of us as she is now.
Luppi pops out of the kitchen when Nemu walks into the living room.
"Hi, Mother!" he greets happily.
She turns to him, slightly confused as to why we're both home so early, but not disapproving. "Hello."
I'm rather curious as to why she's home early as well, but I decide that it isn't of that much importance.
Luppi flashes a massive grin at Mother and shows off his ice cream.
I'm not sure if I'm imagining it or not, but I think she smiles for just a few seconds before turning around and going into her room.
I stretch my arms and make to head into my room as well.
"Whatcha doin'?" Luppi asks me.
I open my door and beckon him over. "Just some intel work. You can come if you want."
He happily bounds over as I sit at my laptop.
Positioning himself squished next to me on the chair, he peers at the loading screen.
"What kind of info are you getting now?"
"You know Grimmjow, right? The guy who chased you?"
He nods. "Yup yup."
I crack my knuckles and punch in my password. "Well, he kinda had a valid reason to be running after you. You saw him kissing someone at the party the other night, and he doesn't want word to get out, so he's been rounding up everyone who saw and quieting them. I've been helping him out in exchange for some more intel connections, and when I saw you on the list, I decided to joke around a little and not tell him that you wouldn't say anything anyways. I guess I shouldn't really joke around, because no one expects me to and takes me seriously all the time. So I'll just tell him to lay off tomorrow. Anyways, right now, I'm going to try and pull together some bribes for the people that he can't convince on his own."
Luppi sticks his tongue out at me. "Bleh, that was mean, Brother! You know how stupid Grimmjow is! He wouldn't be able to tell a penis from a vagina from an inch away."
I flick his forehead. "I know that, Luppi, but it was just a spur of the moment thing, okay? I'll try to keep you out of this from here on out. But you do promise not to say anything, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbles. "I didn't even get to see who he was kissing, anyways, so it doesn't really matter."
I pat his head and enter my web browser. "Okay, and, we're on. Here are my archives."
He watches in awe as I pull up my immense collection of files regarding nearly everyone he's ever known and then some. I see his face light up in curiosity at some blinking messages on a sidebar.
"What are those?" he questions.
I peer at them. Oh, new info from Shiro. It's on Grimm. Maybe this was what Ichigo wanted to talk to me about?
I click on the link, and almost die.
I scramble to close the window as Luppi claws at my hand, preventing me from stopping him from staring at the blasphemous video now playing full volume on my screen.
Shiro just had to send me the video someone took of Grimmjow and I on the floor of the French room now of all times, didn't he? Note to self: Kill Shiro.
"Ulquiorra!" Luppi exclaims as a shit-eating grin engulfs his face. The corners of his mouth seem to reach his ears as he turns to face me again.
"You and Grimmjow? That's so cute!" he squeals as he falls of the chair, now rolling on the ground in laughter.
My face in undoubtedly the exact shade of Renji's hair by now. "Luppi, it is most definitely not what you think."
He drags himself up onto my lap and clings onto me as his body is wracked by spasms of explosive giggling. "Of course it isn't, Brother."
I swat his head and swallow a shaky breath I didn't know I had been holding.
Tentatively dropping the file into my password protected "Scandalous" folder, I open up my folders on Zommari Leroux, Shinji Hirako, Chizuru Honsho, Orihime Inoue, and Soi Fon.
I don't have any good information on Chizuru yet, but if Renji's description is accurate, then she seems to be flamboyantly homosexual. I grin a little. Maybe Nel will be willing to help me out.
Looking the names over once more, I get a better idea. Orihime may feel awkward around me because of that whole boob experience, but my files are definitely hinting that she has close connections with a certain red-headed friend of mine...
Luppi starts braiding my hair as I formulate a plan for the ultimate lesbian experience.
Smirking internally at my genius untrashiness, I look over to Soi Fon. I don't have much on her, either. I'll deal with her later on.
I stare at the last to files flickering back at me. Zommari Leroux... avid yoga student, practitioner of the fine arts, and unfailingly doped up on a special drug only grown in Madagascar every day. If I can either threaten to cut off his supply of drugs or possibly give him some of the special stuff, then he'll be easy to bag.
My gut jumps a little when I see Shinji Hirako's profile. He's the leader of the Vizards.
Problem. Biiiiig problem. Nel won't like this at all.
Luppi pauses tying my hair for a minute to examine my screen. His eyebrows go up when he sees Shinji.
"Hey, Ulqui, that's the guy that's friends with that girl who dated this guy I know. He's really dangerous sometimes. Why are you researching him?" Luppi inquires. He sounds a little worried.
"He's one of the people who saw Grimmjow. Don't worry about me; I'll be okay. It's not like I'm getting involved in any of his gang's activities," I reassure him.
I relax as I feel his fingers go back to work on my hair.
Looking back at the laptop, I reread his files. It seems that a few good drugs can be useful when dealing with him, too.
"Ah ha!" cries out my little brother from behind me.
He jumps off the chair as I stand up and feel at my head.
It's... bumpy.
I calmly walk to the bathroom and examine myself in the mirror.
My hair is intricately braided into many different ropes of knots, then expertly woven together to form a bun in the back, with the rest spilling out into a curled ponytail from around it.
Oh, and there are all these random purple bows and ribbons everywhere.
I look a little lower to see Luppi staring through the mirror from behind me, grinning smugly.
Nemu walks in just then, stares at the two of us for around a minute, then leaves.
Sometimes, I worry about her.
I stare back at my little brother. "Luppi, if I keep this in for a few more minutes, will you do me a favor?"
He looks at me like I just told him that I had a vagina. "Whoa, really? You'll keep it?"
I sigh. The things I do for my job. "Yes, I will."
He suddenly gets an evil look, and I regret my decision. "Let me take a picture of it too, and it's a deal."
I rub my forehead. Ugh.
"Fine, but that's it," I agree reluctantly.
He fist pumps the air then tackle hugs me.
"Okay!" he chirps. "What do you want me to do?"
"You know Szayel Aporro, the kid in your year?"
He ponders the name for a moment, then a look of recognition flashes across his features.
"Oh yeah! He was the one that Nelly beat up!" he reminds me.
"That's him. Do you think that you could arrange for us to meet outside by the stairs during fifth period?"
He assumes army position and salutes me with a determined expression. "Aye!"
I pat his head. He really can be an angel sometimes. Key word here being sometimes.
Such is displayed when he suddenly disappears only to appear with a camera.
"Smile, Ulqui!" he trills before snapping the picture.
I'm about to head back into my room when he suddenly grabs my arm.
"Hmm?"
"Hey, Ulqui, just a question."
"What is it?"
A devious grin snakes its way across Luppi's face. "Why did you like kissing Grimmjow so much?" he teases, puffing out his lips in a fish-face.
And with that, he spun around and skipped off to who-knows-where.
I shake my head at him and turn around to my bedroom.
But I can't help but ask myself the same question.
ICHIGO'S POV
Not good.
Noooooooot good.
I'm to the point of crushing my phone in my hand when Shiro jumps on the bed beside me and loops an arm around my shoulders.
"Ulqui hasn't texted back yet?"
I shake my head frantically.
He takes on a worried expression as well.
"If he and Grimmjow don't get this Orihime business cleared up..." I trail off, thinking of all the terrible possibilities. More than a few of them involve the end of the world via robot space invaders. Or Chizuru Honsho.
Shiro curls up next to me and assumes fetal position. I take the same pose and together we stare wide-eyed at the opposite wall.
"Not good."
"Noooooooooooot good."