Chapter 10 – Struggle

Tell me how I'm supposed

To breathe with no air

Can't live, can't breathe

With no air

That's how I feel whenever

You're not there

There's no air, no air

The tall blond woman apparated into her boyfriend's apartment, full of hope. If she thought she was happy before, she went ecstatic when she learnt that his wards hadn't kept her out. He was waiting for her to come back.

She felt awkward that she would have to be the one to make the first move. She always thought that he was man enough to try and apologize first. But what the heck. She loved him, and wanted him back. All else was unimportant.

Natasha couldn't live without her Draco. She was fairly certain that he couldn't live without her, too, although she had been haunted still by the conversation between Blaise and Draco she had overheard long ago. Natasha had hoped that the fight they had a week ago was just a horrible nightmare that was already over. She strode around his flat, looking for him. She found Draco fast asleep on the armchair in his room, his head turned sideways, away from her. His tie was hanging from his neck, the top half of his navy blue long-sleeved shirt unbuttoned. She ran her hand through the hereditary white-blond Malfoy hair. Draco's face seemed different to her. It was no longer pallid. There was a healthy color on his skin now.

She leaned down so that her face was level with his. Her cool breath on his face awoke him.

"Nat," he greeted, sounding as if he wasn't at all delighted to see her. "Er…what are you doing here?" Draco pushed his hair away from his face, but Natasha giggled when his bangs just fell back down on his forehead again. He stood from the armchair, and threw his necktie on his bed.

Natasha wrapped her arms around his neck from behind him. She kissed his throat, and he instantly froze, and his breathing ceased momentarily. He shrugged out of her hold as politely as he possibly could.

She giggled again, and made herself comfortable on his bed, laying her head down on the pillows.

"I guess you're tired," Natasha sighed.

"Yeah," he gulped, "I kind of am."

"Then I won't be long," she grinned. "I just came over here to say that I'm sorry for last week. Draco, I truly am sorry. I didn't like what happened either."

"It's all right, Nat, you doin't have to," Draco insisted.

"No, please. We can't start patching up our relationship once more if we don't ask forgiveness for the things we've done wrong." She had gotten up from the bed and walked over to him, placing her hand on his cheek. The color suddenly disappeared from his face.

"We still have another chance, sweetheart," she whispered. "I want to make this all right."

He pulled away from her and went straight into his room's adjoining bathroom. "You broke up with me, Nat, didn't you?"

Another giggle escaped her. He wondered now if she was drunk.

"Draco, I recall telling you that we should cool off. I never said I was ending things permanently."

Guilt filled Draco Malfoy's chest. He felt bad that he had thought that she was giving him his freedom, and gone off enjoying his life without her in it.

"Forgive me, Natasha. I misinterpreted. I thought that it was all over," he said firmly.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him. "What do you mean? Don't you want to get back together with me?" She fell down on the armchair she had found him in.

He inhaled slowly then made his way to her. He knelt before her, taking both her hands into his.

"Natasha," he began, enunciating every syllable in her name. He continued in a gentler tone. "I am marrying Hermione Granger. This weekend."

She tore her hands from his and pressed her pointy stiletto heel to his chest, kicking him away. He seemed unhurt by this, which disappointed her. She wanted to do as much bodily harm to him as she could.

Natasha paced around the room. Her fists balled up. She collapsed on the bed, hiding her face into her hands.

"What?" she demanded dangerously.

"I thought Blaise would have already told you," Draco explained. "I'm sorry, but I wanted to keep you out of it, anyway. I didn't know how you would feel about it, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't want to hurt my feelings?" Natasha hissed. "I don't think you succeeded!"

"Nat, please," he frowned. "I didn't know what to do about it, so I thought I just wouldn't tell you."

"And what would happen if you didn't tell me, Draco?" she cried. "You'd be eternally happy with Hermione Granger while I sit around wasting my life waiting around for you to come for me? You'd keep me wishing fruitlessly? Dreaming endlessly?"

"I honestly didn't think about that," he admitted shamefully. "I'm really sorry for hurting you, Nat. I know you think that I must be the most awful person in the world right now."

"Must be? No, you bastard, I think you are the most awful, most horrid person in the world! You kept me hoping that you would ask me to come back to you! But no, you're getting married! This weekend!"

"You could come…if someway, it would make you feel better," he stuttered.

"You're asking me to come to your wedding? Why? So Hermione Granger can rub it in my face more that she's the one marrying you? I don't think so," Natasha snapped. Draco sighed, aggravated. Natasha started for the door.

"And no thanks," she barked. "I'm going to be out of the country this weekend."

"Another photo shoot?" he inquired in a friendly manner. She responded, with her reply far from friendly.

"No. Just to get away from you!" And with that, Natasha yanked the front door open, exiting Draco's flat, and slamming the door behind her. She'd disapparate from the hallway, right after she's had a good cry.