Chapter 10 – Waiting

He had a key, but that night he didn't use it.

The entire way over to Olivia's apartment, Elliot had debated with himself whether or not he should. In the end, fear won out. It would be painful enough to have her answer the door mussed and flustered, the very image of impropriety. It would be far worse to walk in and actually catch them in the act, hearing her make the exquisite sounds of pleasure Elliot arrogantly assumed she had reserved for him. For that reason, instead of just letting himself in, he chose to knock. Loudly.

If pressed, Elliot could not have recalled the exact moment when he had decided to go to Olivia's apartment instead of absconding to the relative simplicity of his own. His memory was a bit blurry, a casualty of the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed. All he could remember was leaving the bar with Adam, stumbling into him as they stepped out into the gusty wind. His good friend had quickly hailed a cab and bid Elliot farewell, off to his small brownstone at the outskirts of the city. Elliot had had every intention of following suit as he turned up his collar against the raging snowstorm and blinked hard against the gnat-like ice pellets that irritated his eyes. Before he really knew what he was doing however, he had lurched off in the direction of Olivia's apartment and kept walking, bracing himself against the strong wind and heavy curtain of snow. With each step, Adam's advice kept ringing in his ears.

Fight for it.

By the time he reached her building, Elliot was soaked to the bone and shivering from the heavy snow that had stuck to, and subsequently melted through, his clothing. Using her building key to gain access to the lobby, he tripped his way up the stairs, his vision slightly fuzzy around the edges. Arriving at her door, he leaned heavily against the wooden frame, wondering absently when he had stopped being able to handle his liquor and if this truly was a good idea. If she wanted to talk, really talk, he was in no condition for that. It was too late now though. He was here, and he had to see her. Leaning forward, he rapped loudly and insistently against the colored wood.

And then he waited. But not for too long.

When Olivia finally wrenched her door open, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Elliot's breath caught in his throat. She looked absolutely beautiful, both soft and feminine, a side she was skilled at minimizing on the job but that he adored now he was privy to it. She was wearing a short black skirt over dark nylons topped with a forest green cashmere sweater that hugged her curves flirtatiously and highlighted the green flecks in her chocolate eyes. Her hair was shiny and hung straight to her shoulders. Silver earrings dangled from her ears, glinting in the light of her apartment. She was made up naturally, with only soft powder on her face and a light charcoal liner accentuating her intelligent eyes.

"El?? What are you doing here? Why didn't you use your key?" Olivia hissed quietly, holding the door open but blocking his entrance with her arm.

"He here?" Elliot grunted, his deep voice echoing down the empty hallway as he tried to peer around her. As Olivia opened her mouth to respond, something over his shoulder caught her eye. Grabbing Elliot's arm, she yanked him smoothly into her apartment. Just as she closed the door behind them, Elliot noticed the bathrobe-clad lady from across the hall standing in her doorway, arms folded tightly across her chest. His steady knocking at close to midnight had not disturbed only Olivia apparently. She wouldn't be popular with the neighbors for awhile.

Elliot walked unsteadily out of the foyer to the kitchen, placing a hand on the marble countertop of the breakfast island to balance himself. When he felt stable enough, he straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest. Looking at Olivia defiantly, Elliot repeated his earlier question, enunciating his words carefully.

"Is he here?"

"Is who here El?" Olivia's face was the picture of genuine confusion for several seconds before he saw the light bulb go on. "Oh, you mean Scott. He's not here El. Why would he be?" Finally appreciating the implication behind the question, Olivia chuckled dryly but not meanly. "I'm flattered by your trust. We went to the show, and then dinner, and then I came home. And that's it. We're just friends."

Inside, Elliot felt a nauseating combination of relief and shame. Even in his inebriated state, he knew he sounded possessive and paranoid, but at that moment he couldn't help it. To cover his embarrassment, he felt the need to pick a fight.

"That skirt's a bit short for dinner with "just a friend", don't you think?"

Raising her eyebrows mildly, Olivia folded her arms lightly over her chest, mimicking his posture. "Well, it's a good thing I don't have to vet my wardrobe choices with you, now isn't it?" There was more amusement in her voice than anything and when he saw she was not willing to play his petty game, Elliot felt even worse for his accusations.

As Elliot fell silent, Olivia took in his disheveled appearance for the first time since he had shown up at her door.

"God El, you're soaked!" Stepping forward, she closed the distance between them and reached out, squeezing his soggy coat. "Did you walk here? We're in the middle of a snowstorm!"

"Needed to see you," Elliot mumbled, swaying slightly on his feet, his eyes locked pleadingly on her face. She looked so gorgeous it was almost physically painful for him to be near her but not touch. Concerned, Olivia unzipped his waterlogged coat and peeled it off him, feeling his skin quiver with cold. Even the layers underneath were damp and cold rivets of water trickled down his face from the melting snow in his hair. The closer she got, the stronger the smell of booze got. This was the first time she had seen Elliot drunk, and it wasn't a pleasant picture.

Pulling Elliot's damp sweatshirt off over his head, Olivia placed it carefully on the back of her dining room chair to dry beside his coat. Grabbing his arm, she led him over to the couch, holding on to him until she was sure he wasn't going to topple over. "I'm going to get you some dry clothes. Strip down to your boxers. I'll be right back."

As Olivia disappeared into the bedroom, Elliot plopped down on the couch and ran a hand through his short hair, suddenly exhausted. Water streamed down his face as he dislodged clumps of snow and he felt extremely silly. He should have known better. He should have trusted her. Now he was sitting here and looking every bit the fool.

As the sound of muffled footfalls on the carpet grew closer, Elliot jolted back into action, lifting his hips off the couch cushions long enough to slide his jeans down and kick them away. Now he shivered openly, sitting mostly naked in her living room. Returning to the couch, Olivia handed him a clean, dry t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants he had left previously at her apartment. Gratefully he slid into them, studiously avoiding her eyes by closely examining the fibres of the carpet.

Olivia opened up the towel she had brought with his clothes and slowly rubbed it over his head to remove the snow and icy water from his short hair. The gentle caress of her hands on his head felt like heaven, and Elliot closed his eyes to savor it. Sensing him relax beneath her, she took her time, massaging his scalp through the soft terrycloth even after she knew his short hair was long dry. When she was finished, she released the towel, leaving it covering his head like a shroud. He sat dutifully, quietly, and submissively in front of her, his hands resting on his thighs. In all the time she had known him, Olivia had never seen Elliot so still and submissive. Something about it touched her.

Removing the towel and folding it into her hands, Olivia slowly sat beside him on the couch, resting her elbows on her thighs and slipping a loose strand of shiny hair behind her ears. She turned her head hoping to meet his eyes, but Elliot kept staring straight ahead blindly. As her eyes flitted over his face, she felt sorry for him. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn't slept for weeks, likely the combination of true sleep deprivation mixing with the alcohol. The stubble darkening his face suggested he hadn't been taking care of himself.

Eager to put him at least a bit at ease, Olivia cleared her throat. "El, I would never do anything intentionally to hurt you. You know that right?" When he glanced up at her, his eyes were dark with an emotion she struggled to identify, but he nodded slowly before lowering his gaze again.

"I know. I'm sorry. I trust you. I'm just being dumb." His voice was soft as he picked at invisible lint on his gray sweatpants. He felt every inch the ignorant, insensitive boyfriend as the alcohol slowly dissipated from his system. It was only a matter of time now before she realized she was far better off without him. But until that time, he was going to follow Adam's advice.

Fight for it.

"Don't end this." The words were breathed more than spoken, and Elliot wasn't sure she had even heard them until he looked up and saw unshed tears glossing her eyes. Silently, she reached out and let her fingertips graze over his face starting at his forehead, tracing the craggy lines of his wrinkles and working their way down over the bridge of his nose, spreading out to his cheeks, brushing over the abrasive stubble of his growing beard before finally skimming lightly across his lips.

To his relief, if ending their relationship was her intention, it wasn't clear from her next statement.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." Elliot breathed a bit more calmly, his thinking process still a bit befuddled but clearing. "I'm sorry about today. About everything that's happened lately. I know I haven't been fair to you. For what it's worth, I really wanted to take you to the theatre today."

Olivia smiled lightly as they sat side-by-side on the couch, legs touching, staring down at her carpet. "I know you did El. I'm sorry I haven't been more supportive. The things I said in the car that day, they were out of line. You're doing the best you can with the balancing act you've been handed. I came into this relationship knowing that your children were your priority. You love them more than anything, and that makes you the wonderful father you are. Your commitment to your family is one of the things I admire the most about you. Well, that and your Atlas body." The joking comment earned her a small smile. "And yet I was punishing you for it. I'm sorry. I just don't want to lose you back to Kathy."

Elliot shook his head fiercely. "That would never happen. Kathy and I are over. Yes I love my kids but I love you too Liv. I just haven't been good at showing you that lately."

"I know you do El." Gently Olivia reached out and took his hand in hers, linking their fingers together. "And I love you. I don't want this to end any more than you do."

Elliot released a long shaky breath at her welcome words. "It makes me feel so much better to hear you say that. God, you have no idea."

Leaning over, Olivia dropped her head to his shoulder, burrowing her face into his neck. Reaching across, Elliot grabbed her legs and swung them over his, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly. She smelled and felt so good he never wanted to let go. When he finally did relax his arms, he dropped one hand down to her leg and let it slide lightly over her soft dark nylons as they cuddled on the couch in the complete silence of her apartment.

As they lay together quietly, Elliot could sense Olivia had something else she wanted to say, but was struggling to voice it. Holding her close, he longed to make her feel comfortable enough to open up.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, kissing her temple lightly and feeling her tremble pleasantly at the contact, or his words, or both. When she didn't pull away from him, he decided to test his limits and dipped his head lower, kissing the bridge of her nose but not forcing her to commit to anything further. She was the one who tilted her head up to give him better access, and he warmly took her up on the invitation, parting his lips to kiss her softly.

Things probably would have continued to progress were it not for the sudden and adamant vibration of Elliot's cell phone in the pocket of his coat on the chair beside them.

Groaning, Elliot moved his arm from around Olivia but didn't disturb her from his lap. Reaching over, he fumbled in his pocket and yanked out his cell phone. Pulling the offending device closer, he snapped it open and checked the glowing display.

Of course. Kathy.

With an irritated grunt, Elliot reached up with his thumb and held down the power button until the phone fell silent and the display blinked off. With a light flick of his wrist, he tossed the phone over the table at the fabric chair that sat directly across from them. It bounced off the plush cushion and fell to the floor, skittering across the carpet and then the linoleum until it came to rest under one of the breakfast island's stools.

"C'mon," Elliot mumbled, patting the outside of Olivia's thigh affectionately. "It's late and we have to work tomorrow. Let's go to bed."

Seth didn't know it was possible.

Possible to feel so cold and yet so hot at the same time.

Had the wind not died down, Seth didn't doubt for a second that he would be completely buried in a drift of snow by now. The roof on which he stood was completely exposed to the elements, affording him no shelter from the cascading precipitation. The snow had slowed a little, but the heavy, wet, white stuff was still streaming from the sky in ridiculous quantities. Thanks to the constant deluge, Seth had to strain his eyes through his binoculars to watch the scene unfolding in the apartment across the street.

And what a scene it was.

No more than thirty minutes ago, Seth had followed Elliot back to Olivia's apartment, fighting the blustery wind and cursing Elliot for not returning to his own apartment like he was supposed to. Had it been necessary to stay well back to avoid being made, Seth likely would have lost him in the blowing snow. Fortunately Elliot's alertness had been decreased substantially by the alcohol he drank previously with Adam. It made Seth's job a little easier anyway.

And easier was better.

When Elliot disappeared into Olivia's building, Seth had snuck into the building directly across the street. He had pretended to fiddle around with his mail key until one of the building's legal occupants showed up. Grabbing the secured entry door before it closed behind the man, Seth quickly entered the building and made his way up to the roof, savoring the brief period of heat that helped him thaw a little. From the roof, he knew from experience he would have a good view into Olivia's bedroom.

When Seth had stepped outside again onto the roof, he was greeted by another barrage of flurries. Inwardly, he cursed for the millionth time that night. Things were not going as he had hoped. He couldn't put his plan into action until he knew Elliot was safely ensconced somewhere for the night. Given the current chill in Elliot and Olivia's relationship, he couldn't be sure Elliot was going to stay with her. For that reason, he was forced to wait and see.

Fortunately, he didn't have to wait long.

As Seth hopped back and forth to try and keep warm, the light in Olivia's bedroom suddenly snapped on. Jumping to attention, he grabbed the binoculars from around his neck and jerked them to his eyes. The scene he was greeted with made his internal temperature skyrocket, buffering his body pleasantly against the cold that surrounded him.

Olivia and Elliot had literally stumbled into her bedroom, kissing frantically, their hands roaming wildly. Using his foot, Elliot closed the door after them, maintaining contact with Olivia's mouth as his hands tangled in her dark tresses. They stood near the door for several moments, a whirling dervish of mouths and hands, before Olivia slipped her fingers under Elliot's t-shirt and pushed it up suggestively. Taking the hint, Elliot backed away slightly, his hands and mouth retracting but his eyes remaining locked on her as he drew the shirt over his head and tossed it onto the floor behind him. They stayed inches apart for a moment, Olivia breaking his gaze to look down at his chest and let her fingers trace lightly over the skin and hair there.

Lowering the binoculars for a quick second, Seth realized suddenly he was panting with desire. It was almost as if he could feel Olivia's hands on him, touching him with the same tenderness she caressed Elliot. He craved that, and of course he would have it soon. But he would need to hit the gym first if he wanted her to admire his body as much as she admired Elliot's. He had some work to do, but there would be time for that soon. She would have to take what she could get for now.

As Seth again raised the binoculars to his greedy eyes, Elliot grabbed Olivia by the waist, pulled her tight against him, and backed her up into the wall, bumping them both so roughly Seth could see the impact. Olivia wrapped one leg around him, tucking her ankle just behind his knee and drawing them even closer. Reaching back, Elliot slid a hand all the way up her leg starting at her ankle. Seth felt his eye twitch, his heart pound, and his knees weaken as Elliot pushed up her short skirt, reaching underneath. Olivia broke the kiss at his touch, leaning her head back against the wall and watching him with heavy-lidded eyes and a slightly parted mouth. The expression on her face was so sensual that Seth almost lost all blood flow to his brain. In that moment, he would have killed for an audio feed to soak up the full experience, to know what Elliot had said and done to make Olivia look at him that way.

The man truly was a God.

Seth watched intently as the muscles in Elliot's arms worked, his mouth never leaving Olivia's, his other hand working its way under her skirt. With several quick jerks, he had ripped her nylons and started expertly peeling the torn garment off. Seth shifted uncomfortably, suddenly scorching hot despite the cold. He wouldn't have been surprised if the snow around him started melting in the face of his heat. Breaking the kiss, Olivia pulled her head away and said something to Elliot with a look close to admonishment on her face. Whatever Elliot's response was, it must have been the right one, because she laughed and closed her mouth on his again.

Effortlessly lifting her off the ground, Elliot quickly walked over to the bed and dropped her onto it. Leaning forward, Seth gripped the iron guardrail in front of him with a shaking hand, desperate to get as close to the action as possible, his entire body throbbing with anticipation. Olivia lay like an angel on the patterned quilt, her arms raised over her head trustingly as Elliot crawled over top of her almost predatorily. Seth trembled as he watched Elliot's ropy hands push her skirt back up her now bare legs, bunching it around her waist before letting his hands slip up to caress her sides.

Even as they kissed, Seth noted with amazement that Elliot's hands never stopped working, pushing up Olivia's sweater until he could pull it easily over her head. He pitched it off to the side as she settled back onto the bed, watching him adoringly. Slowly, Elliot lowered his mouth to her stomach, kissing softly around her belly button and feathering his lips over her heaving ribs. His beard must have tickled her, because she smiled and squirmed and he moved back up over her. For a moment they lay still, not speaking as far as Seth could tell, just gazing at each other before Elliot covered her mouth with his once more. In response, Olivia arched her hips up and splayed her fingers across his broad back.

Pushing himself up onto his hands, Elliot suddenly rolled away from her, getting up off the bed and walking toward the window. Seth felt his heart stutter as he watched Elliot move closer to him, almost as if he knew Seth was there. As Elliot sauntered over, sweatpants slung low on his hips, Seth's knees trembled and almost gave out. Leaning all his weight against the frozen brick in front of him, he tried unsuccessfully to keep his hands from quivering. His binoculars quaked as he struggled to keep them trained on the bedroom.

When Elliot reached the window he paused for a moment, and Seth wondered with interest if Elliot could see him standing there; wondered if their eyes were really making the connection Seth longed for. He knew deep down Elliot couldn't see him - it was far too dark and snowy and Seth was dressed all in black, but the thought was thrilling anyway. The thrill ended a second later however, when Elliot reached up and pulled down the shade, a cream barrier that even Seth's binoculars couldn't penetrate.

Legs finally giving out from an adrenaline overdose, Seth collapsed to the ground, feeling the snow soak through the bottom of his dark jeans. Putting his head between his knees, he tried to get his ragged breathing back under control, willing his body to relax. He forced himself to think of the most mundane things, but it was nearly impossible with the hot images playing in his mind's eye. He lost track of how long he sat there, just focusing on breathing and steadying the rate of his heartbeat. When he finally felt able, Seth hauled himself to his feet, brushing the snow from his shoulders like errant dandruff. Slipping his binoculars back under cover of his coat, he took a deep breath, enjoying the empowering sensation of the old dirty air leaving his lungs and the fresh air cleansing his body.

He was ready.

It was time.