It seemed like Maura was growing bigger with each passing day. I'd never really been around a pregnant woman before, at least not since Ma had had Tommy and I had been too young to remember most of that. I was amazed at all the changes she was going through. It didn't seem like it should be possible. Maura's feelings about the whole thing seemed to be similar to mine. Several times, I'd caught her just staring down at herself in disbelief. She was tired all the time too and very uncomfortable. Her skin had lost its glow and she's started to just look weary.
She was still insisting on going to work, although she had at least stopped visiting crime scenes with us. The thought of her clambering around in dark alleyways at the moment scared me more than I cared to admit. That did mean that we were apart more than usual at work and I hated to leave her. Whenever we were apart, all I could think about was the possibility of something happening when I wasn't with her, particularly as her due date grew ever closer.
There came an evening when she seemed filled with a strange energy. She kept finding errands to run in the house and she was tidying and cleaning every available surface. Ma watched her with a knowing look in her eyes.
'What is it?' I asked in a low voice so Maura wouldn't hear.
'She's close,' Ma said. 'She's nesting.'
'Nesting? She not a bird.'
'It means she's making the house ready for the baby. It'll happen in the next couple of days, you'll see.'
Of course, after that, I really didn't want her to go to work, but still she insisted, claiming that Ma was wrong. She protested that she still had a couple of weeks until her due date and first babies were usually overdue. They didn't tend to come early. I pointed out that the baby was not an expert on human biology and may not have realised this, but still she insisted that it wouldn't come yet.
That night she hardly slept at all and so I didn't either. She kept me close to her, pressed against her back or with my head cradled on her shoulder. The baby wouldn't stop moving and her hands were constantly on her belly, trying to soothe it. In the morning, I begged her to stay at home, even offered to stay at home with her, but she wouldn't. And, of course, that was the morning we finally caught the Potato Peeler Bandit.
Korsak and I took him into the interrogation room. The case was so high profile that it was a strictly do not disturb zone. Our phones were left on a table outside. As I put mine down, I got a horrible sinking feeling in my stomach.
'Korsak,' I said. 'I don't think I can do this. What if Maura goes into labour and I'm stuck in there?'
'We need you in there.' Was his only response. 'And it's not your baby. Cavanaugh won't look kindly on you missing the interrogation for a baby you're not related to.'
I knew he was right, but a large part of me still wanted to protest that it was my baby. Whatever Maura and I were, that baby of hers was my family.
The interrogation was long, hours long, and I remember almost none of it. I wasn't focused on the room. Instead, my thoughts were with Maura. I knew she needed me. I don't know how I knew it, but I knew it. As soon as we finally got a confession, I made a beeline for the door and found Frankie standing right outside.
'What's happened to Maura?' I asked.
'She's having the baby. They wouldn't let me come in and get you.'
'Where is she?'
'She got taken to the hospital a couple of hours ago.'
I didn't even pause to answer, just ran for the carpark, cold panic rising in my chest. After a moment, I realised that Frankie was running along behind me. 'What are you doing?' I asked.
'Driving you there.'
'I can drive myself.'
'You're too stressed. You can't drive like that.'
I realised that he was right. My hands were shaking and blood was pounding in my ears. I'd never felt this scared before. What if something happened to her? What if something happened to her baby? I tossed Frankie the car keys.
We drive in silence, breaking just about every speed limit, which was ironic given that he was still in uniform. When we finally arrived, I paused just long enough to kiss him on the cheek to say thank you and then I was running in the direction of the maternity unit. I had a vague impression that Frankie was still running somewhere behind me, but there was no time to pause and wait for him to catch up.
Once inside, I ran towards the reception desk and said Maura's name. I was too panicked to think of anything else.
'You must be Detective Rizzoli,' the woman on reception said. 'Your wife's in room three.'
I didn't even pause to think about the wife part. I was just grateful that they'd let me in. I ran down the corridor until I found room three and then burst through the door. Maura was inside, lying on the bed with a midwife standing next to her. The colour had drained from her face completely and her whole posture spoke of intense pain.
She was mid-contraction and her scream of pain somehow turned into my name when she saw me. I ran to her and put an arm around her shoulders, trying to give her some support. Her fingers clutched onto my other hand, the nails digging into me with surprising force.
'I'm so sorry I'm late,' I said. 'So, so sorry.' There were tears running down my cheeks.
The contraction passed and she was able to breathe again. 'It's ok. You're here now.'
'Your wife is four centimetres dilated,' The midwife informed me.
'Is that good?'
'Everything's progressing well. Slowly, but well.'
I turned back to Maura. 'Wife?' I whispered.
'I was worried they wouldn't let you in so I told them we were married,' she broke off and squeezed my hand again as another contraction hit her.
And then there came a timeless time. A time filled with Maura's screams and midwives muttering things I didn't understand and a time filled with my own terror and Maura seemed to get weaker and weaker and to be in more and more pain. I wanted to help her, to take her pain, but there was nothing at all I could do, just be with her and hold her and try to somehow get her through it. Hours passed. Day turned into night turned into day again and still she was screaming and still there was no baby. Phrases I did understand were being bandied around now, phrases I didn't want to hear like 'emergency c-section.' Maura didn't want that either and I could feel her heart beating faster and faster as she held onto me.
Suddenly something changed and everyone was telling her to push. She was sobbing, her face turned into my arm. 'I can't,' she was whispering over and over again. 'I can't do it anymore.'
I got up onto the bed behind her so that her back was fully against me and I put my arms on either side of her, gripping her hands with my own. 'Yes you can,' I said. 'I know you can. Just one more push, Maura, please.'
'I can't, I can't,' she was sobbing, but then her sobs turned into a scream which was so loud it seemed to rip the air in two. She was leaning back hard against me, her hands gripping mine, and then, in a hot slippery rush of blood and liquid, another person was in the room.
Maura sagged back into me as they put the baby on her chest. She reached up and cradled her, tentatively at first and then more confidently, letting the baby snuggle against her chest. And then Maura was laughing and crying all at the same time and I was too.
'You did it,' I whispered. I couldn't process it. How could there be a brand new human being here, someone who was part Maura and yet uniquely herself? I looked down at the baby and felt a wave of love like I'd never experienced before. It was a pure love, a selfless love. She looked like Maura in miniature with the same gentle eyes and heart-shaped features. Al I wanted in the world was to protect her and look after her and keep her safe.
'I love you,' I said to both of them. 'I love you so, so much.'
Maura half turned then and looked up at me. Without thinking at all, I leaned down and kissed her. It was a quick kiss, a chaste kiss, but a kiss filled with promise and longing, and the contact was enough to send jolts of electricity racing through me. I felt Maura gasp into my mouth as she kissed me back without hesitation.
