Chapter 10
Sam took Jason's hand and led him to the garden. She didn't want to talk inside, because she felt like she was trapped in there. She'd never felt like that before, but with Jason there and the idea of talking scared her a little, and she wanted to feel the fresh air. He followed her without asking any questions and she was glad he didn't, because she didn't want him to know she was a little scared. ''Let's talk here – do you want something to drink?'' she asked, and he shook his head and sat down. She nodded and chose the chair opposite of him, so she could look at him.
''Where do I start,'' he mumbled, and when she opened her mouth he held up his hand. She blinked a couple of times but didn't say anything, and he started talking. ''When I stopped working at the hall and when Jenna came out, we started spending more time together because she didn't know anyone in Port Charles, but she wanted to wait for you to come out and she had to testify,'' he said, and she nodded. She knew about that, ''but we became friends – good friends. We ate dinner together and we went out to eat something at Kelly's – I mean we spent a lot of time together,'' he added, and she sighed.
''I know about that,'' she whispered, and he nodded.
''When you saw us together – we were talking about you and I didn't know you were there. I mean I didn't know what you thought was going to happen between you and me, and I was scared you really didn't want me anymore. Now I know that when you came into the courtroom and you saw Jenna and me together holding hands…'' his voice faded, and she looked down. ''I know you thought we had something – but we didn't have anything but friendship. She helped me though that day and I didn't think you would assume something like that but I guess I should've,'' he added, and she shook her head.
''No, I just to conclusions, Jason, because I was doubting everything we had,'' she said quickly, and he sighed, ''no really, I had to much time to think and when I did, I started thinking; 'maybe this was all because he felt sorry for me', and 'he doesn't want me, because there are a lot more women that are better than me', and when I saw you with Jenna I thought you wanted her – because she had been undercover too and she didn't do anything wrong to get there,'' Sam rambled, and Jason blinked.
''I never wanted Jenna. I wanted and want you, and I know I didn't handle this right but I never meant for you to think I only felt sorry for you. Because that's not what it was, and it still isn't,'' he said, ''Milo told me you stopped by,'' he added, and she blinked again, but this time to push the tears back.
''I thought you told her you loved her,'' she whispered, and even though she had tried, the tears still came. ''Milo opened the door for me, and I heard you say 'I love you','' she added, and he nodded.
''Milo told me, and I realized what you must've thought about that – I'm so sorry,'' he said softly, and he took her hand and kissed it. ''I told Jenna what I would say to you when I saw you again, and I was drunk,'' he added, and she nodded.
''I didn't know what to think – I mean I thought you loved her and I wanted to leave right away – I wanted to jump town and never look back, maybe then I could forget you, but I couldn't,'' she said, and she looked at him. She wanted to tell him now, but she wanted to know what he wanted first, because she couldn't bear if he didn't want to go forward.
''And I wouldn't blame you if you did. I didn't come to see you in the week you were at home and then you find out I'm spending a little too much time with Jenna – I would've thought the same thing if you would've been with Max too much, if you get what I mean,'' he said, and she nodded. ''Sam, I love you and only you – and when I heard you left I couldn't think straight – I wanted to find you and then you called,'' he said, ''and I was so happy you called, but I knew when you said you needed time I had to give it to you,'' he added, and she sighed.
''All I wanted was to be with you without any problems, and I just tried to push you away but I knew it wouldn't do any good. I love you too much to let you go and I know it's selfish, but I just can't,'' she said softly, and then looked up at him to see him smile.
''Jenna also isn't the person we thought she was,'' Jason said darkly, and she frowned. ''She said you were conning me and you were lying, but I couldn't believe her. I knew you wouldn't do something like that, because there is one thing that doesn't match up,'' he said, and she looked at him questionably. ''You would never, ever give yourself completely to someone you were conning,'' he said when he saw it, and she nodded.
''Jason what are we going to do now?'' she asked softly, and he shrugged.
''All I know is I want to be with you, and I love you,'' he said and she smiled weakly through her tears, ''I'll do anything to make you see that,'' he added, and she took a deep shaky breath.
''I love you too, Jason, and I want to be with you – but I think we should take it slow,'' she said, and he nodded. She could see he didn't like it at all, but she knew he would agree with everything she said at this point. ''I know this is hard, it's hard for me too, but I need to take it slow, and I don't want to ruin it – not again,'' she said softly, and he nodded.
''I love you, I'd do anything for you, Sam, if that means we can be together,'' he said softly, and she smiled. He stood from his chair and pulled her up, grimacing when he felt his shoulder sting, but he didn't stop. He pulled her in his arms and hugged her tight, and she laid her head on his chest and relaxed. But just for one moment.
''Jason, I have to tell you something,'' she whispered, and he pulled back and looked at her with all the love in his body.
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Jason felt her tense again after a couple of seconds, and then he heard her say what she said. Suddenly he felt worry take over his body and he pulled back just a little to look her in the eye.
''You can tell me everything,'' he said softly, ''unless it's about you having something with Max – that I don't want to know,'' he said with a smile, and she laughed softly before looking up at him again.
''I don't know what you're going to do, but please promise me you won't be mad – I didn't do this to trap you or anything and when I came by that night, I wanted to tell you but then I heard…'' she stopped rambling when he held his finger against her lips.
''I promise I won't be mad, I won't think you trapped me – now tell me, because I don't think it's good by the way you're rambling,'' he said, and she looked down again.
''Jason, I'm pregnant,'' she said softly, and he felt a tear fall on his hand right after she said it. She was pregnant? How could she be pregnant – she had told him earlier she couldn't get pregnant. He shook his head to clear his mind and clearly she saw this as a bad sign because she stepped away. He could see on her face she was scared, and she was afraid he would get back on his word.
''Sam – are you sure? I mean I thought you told me you couldn't get pregnant,'' he said, his voice chocked up from all the emotions running through his body. He was surprised, shocked, and somehow he felt joy get the upper hand.
''You – you don't want it,'' she said, and he widened his eyes and shook his head, but that wasn't the best thing to do – she took another step back and wiped away the tears. ''It's ok, Jason – it – I mean I will take care of it myself,'' she rambled, and he shook his head again and approached her. He took her arms and pulled her in his embrace, and then he kissed the top of her head.
''Sam, listen to me now ok?'' he said, and she nodded. ''I'm speechless, I just don't know what to say, and you know why?'' he asked, and when she shook her head he laughed. ''Because I'm happy – I don't know about you but I've always wanted kids, and with you, Sam, god I couldn't be happier, because I'm having a baby with the woman I love the most,'' he whispered, and she looked up at him. He cursed himself for not saying anything sooner, because he hated to see her cry.
''Do you mean that, Jason?'' she asked him softly, and he nodded. He didn't stop nodding until she smiled and he felt like his head was about to fall off, but it worked.
''But I'm worried,'' he said, and when she looked up at him he said, ''I thought you said you couldn't have kids,'' and she nodded.
''I thought I couldn't, because that's what the doctors told me after – God Jason there is so much I need to tell you about my past,'' she said when she stopped, and he nodded.
''And we will have enough time to talk about that later, Sam, now I just want to know if you're ok?'' he said, and she smiled.
''I went to the hospital the day after I found out and Dr. Lee – the OB – told me there wouldn't be any problems with this pregnancy. When I asked her about what the doctors said, she told me that either they looked at it the wrong way or someone lied and tempered with the tests – but there is nothing wrong with me and I can carry this baby without any problems,'' she told him, and he nodded and took a deep breath. He felt his shoulder blades relax and he knew he had been tense, but he pulled her closer and kissed her. He needed to feel her close, and he knew he couldn't do anything more than kiss her, but she seemed to like it by the way she reacted. She pressed her body against his and sighed in his mouth, and he took the opportunity to move his tongue in her mouth. His hands made their way to her back and he felt her hands on his shoulders. He pulled back, because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop if they continued, and he heard her moan.
''Sam we can't do this if we want to take it slow,'' he groaned, and she nodded against his chest. ''I'd like to take you out to dinner if you don't mind,'' he whispered, and she looked up at him with a surprised expression.
''Are you sure you want to do that? I didn't think you'd be the guy to take someone out to dinner,'' she said with a smile, and he laughed.
''No, I'm not that guy but for you I would even go in suit and tie – but don't ask me to because I don't like it,'' he quickly added when he saw her face, and she smiled.
''I'd love to go to dinner with you – Jason, Kirsten told me we could stay here for a while,'' she said softly, and he looked around. He liked it here, it was peaceful, and they were not too far away from the city.
''I'd love to stay here for the time being – but you know I'll have to go back eventually,'' he told her, and she nodded.
''I know, but we can stay here and just be together,'' she said, and he nodded. ''We can drive back and send Max and Milo home,'' she added, and he smiled and nodded again.
''We are going to do just that – I'm going to call Milo – Max and my phones broke,'' he told her, and she nodded. He could see she knew what happened, but she wanted to know more, and he looked at her and kissed her quickly. ''I'll tell you more later, and then we'll make some dinner,'' he told her, and she nodded.
''You go and call Milo and I'll take a shower – I feel like I've been rolling in dirt,'' she said with a smile, and he laughed as he walked inside. He walked over to Sam's phone that was on the nightstand in her room – he had seen it when he woke up before – and dialed Milo's number. He wanted to spend some time with Sam alone.
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After Sam had taken her shower she felt a lot better, and Jason and she made dinner together. She couldn't cook like he could – she was a disaster in the kitchen – and he made fun of her the whole time. She didn't mind, because she loved spending time with him, and finally they didn't have to sneak around. They didn't talk about anything heavy, because they both wanted to just spend time together and they seemed to feel they didn't need to talk all the time.
''What do you think about watching a movie? I feel like watching a movie,'' Sam said, even though she was tired. She didn't want to go to bed, because she didn't want to be alone. ''I think Nan did have some movies here,'' she said while looking for them, and Jason smiled.
''What kind of movie?'' he asked, and she shrugged and returned with the boxes. She had a couple of old movies, and a couple of new movies she knew Dave had brought with him.
''When we're here Nan tells us not to watch to many movies,'' Sam said with a smile, ''but normally Dave brings something with him for us to watch,'' she added, and Jason nodded.
''You're close to both of them aren't you?'' he asked, and she nodded.
''Yeah, I am. I've had some rough times and because of Nan and Dave I got through them,'' she told him, and he nodded. She knew he wanted to know, but she didn't want to ruin the moment.
''So when did Kirsten take you in?'' he asked, and she thought back.
''I guess it was around my tenth birthday – my dad had been angry with me because I screwed up one of his scams and she had seen it. I don't remember everything but she took her with me after she slapped my dad and after that I went by here almost every day,'' she told him, ''and then at one point I just didn't go home anymore,'' she added, and he nodded.
''I'm glad you had Kirsten and her family to rely on,'' he said softly, and she nodded. She put one of the DVD's in the player and pressed play, and waited for the movie to start. Jason sighed when he saw what movie it was – Gone with the Wind – and she smiled. ''I'd say you are testing me,'' he said softly, and she laughed.
''No, I just really love this movie,'' she told him, and he nodded and held out his arms. She looked at him for a moment before sitting down next to him and moving into his embrace. He held her tight, and she was glad she was sitting at his good side. ''How are you feeling, Jason – are you having any pain?'' she asked, and he hummed.
''No, I'm feeling great because I have you with me,'' he whispered, and she felt her eyes start to burn again. ''Hey, why are you crying?'' he asked when he saw it, and she shook her head and wiped away the tears.
''I don't know, I just feel so safe here, and I love you, and I'm in your arms where I can just be me,'' she said, and a sob ended her sentence. He kissed the top of her head and smiled.
''I love you too, Sam. There's nothing that can make me stop loving you,'' he whispered, and she smiled and closed her eyes. The movie long forgotten, Sam fell asleep in his arms. And because Jason couldn't carry her because of his leg and shoulder, he did the only thing he could – he turned off the TV and lay down with Sam in his arms on the couch. They didn't need a bed, because they fit together perfectly, and when Jason closed his eyes, he fell asleep feeling at home – at last.