A God, a God their severance ruled!

Eventually, Benny ran out of tears. For a while he lay, dry-eyed, resting his head in Sarah's lap, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing. Then he spoke, his voice distorted:

"He loved you, Sarah. He really did. Did you know that?"

Sarah blinked. "But he – you've just said –"

Benny smiled wryly. "Oh, he definitely loved me more, yes – but – when it seemed like he was in love with you? That was real."

"And – and you and Erica," stammered Sarah, trying to make sense of the new rush of information. "Did you –"

"No," breathed Benny. "Never. I just played along. To make it seem normal, you know. But I knew that I loved Ethan, and only Ethan. No-one else. Ever."

Sarah ran her fingers through his hair over and over, staring into the middle distance. "Oh."

There was a long pause before Benny spoke again.

"Sarah?"

"Yeah…?"

"You can stop that now – my hair isn't going to get much straighter!" He twisted his head slightly so that he could look up at her. He smiled weakly.

"Sorry!" said Sarah springing her hands away. She bit her lip. "I wasn't thinking."

Benny sat up, his hair flopping down like a curtain across his eyes. He let out a little puff of breath to blow it aside, but it just fell back over his face again. They were both silent for a moment, before collapsing into laughter.

"Thanks, Sarah!" said Benny, chortling.

"I'm sorry, alright!" she laughed. "I really am – sorry…" She sighed as she watched him push his hair back with his hands. His mouth twitched into a smile.

"No-one will recognise me like this, Sarah. They'll think I'm just some kid you've picked up."

Sarah snorted. "Like it's your hair that people recognise you from." Then her smile faded. "Benny –"

He held up a hand. "I'll be OK. You don't need to worry about me. I think I've just about cried enough now for a whole lifetime, so don't expect much more emotion from me. Please, let's just try and go back to how we were. Like everything's normal." He gritted his teeth. "Because everything will be normal. We'll find Ethan, and make everything better. Like none of this ever happened. Deal?"

Sarah hesitated. She nodded reluctantly, and looked into his face. "Are you sure –?"

"Sarah!" said Benny, raising a finger.

She looked away. "Yes, yes. I'll say nothing more about it. You're fine. OK. Yeah…" They sat, once more, in silence. "Are you – are you going to tell the others?" asked Sarah, half-expecting Benny to bite her head off again.

Benny nodded. "Yeah, I guess so…" He picked at a loose thread on his sleeve. "When we go back." He looked thoughtful. "Although Erica already knows."

Sarah's head snapped round. "What? Since when?"

"Just over a year," said Benn, absently. "She came across us at Ethan last, er, birthday party. You know, the one with –"

"The collapsing dimension. Yeah, I remember." She caught his guilty look and held up her hands. "Hey, at the time, I thought it was a cool thing to do too."

"Well, uh, Ethan was trying to wake me with a kiss –"

"Like in the fairy stories – not that we haven't done that –?" asked Sarah, raising her eyebrows.

"Mmm. Yeah. Well, anyway, Erica turned out to be right behind us. It was sort-of unavoidable that she wouldn't know after that."

"She's know all that time, and not told anyone?" said Sarah, impressed.

"She dropped some pretty big hints early on," said Benny, staring at the carpet again, "but then I suppose she got caught up with keeping her relationship with Rory secret so, you know, she got distracted."

"Anyone else know?" asked Sarah.

"No," replied Benny. He corrected himself. "Ah – actually, the phœnix knew, because he knew about our thoughts. Apart from that, no, I don't think anyone knew."

"Are you sure?" asked Sarah, raising an eyebrow. "You keep making this list longer…"

"Well it's hard to keep track of – we were so intent on keeping it secret – I – he – we –"

Benny broke off and closed his eyes. He took a deep (and unnecessary) breath, and then opened his eyes again. "Anyway. That was then. This is now. And –" He sighed, his hand twitching involuntarily.

"And…?" prompted Sarah.

"Everything's different now," Benny said in a small voice. He corrected himself. "For now."

He jerked his head up. "Well, that isn't helping us find Ethan," he said, abruptly. "We need to keep looking for clues."

"What's he taken?" asked Sarah. "You know this place better than I do."

Benny stood up and glanced around. He gestured at the drawers and wardrobe. "Clothes, obviously." He peered inside. "All kinds. Just at random. Looks like he intends to be away for a while."

Sarah peered over his shoulder. "Anything special?"

Benny shook his head. "He didn't – doesn't – really have particular favourite clothes. I think, as you'll remember, he had quite a lot." He looked over his shoulder at her, raising an eyebrow. Sarah smiled faintly.

"Now you mention it, yeah, he was a bit of a clothes horse, as I remember." She prodded Benny on the shoulder. "Unlike you, Benny. You know what day of the week it is by what you wear."

"I don't know what you mean!" said Benny.

Sarah smirked, and cast an eye over his outfit. "Blue and orange stripes, and light blue jeans. Must be Saturday."

Benny frowned. He narrowed his eyes. "T-shirt colour?"

Sarah thought. "Dark green."

He checked down the front of his top. He bit his lip. "Fine… Ethan, though, has more clothes than he knows what to do with. Hardly ever wears something more than twice a month. Except…"

Frowning, Benny went over to a drawer and rummaged around in it. Crestfallen, he pulled out a pair of pink and yellow socks. "Except these…" he murmured.

"Benny?" said Sarah, concerned.

He dropped them back into the drawer. "Nothing," he said. "It's not important." Drawing himself together again, he looked around the room again. "Now, he's left his laptop – that's a bit weird for Ethan – but he has taken his phone." He searched Ethan's desk. "And the charger."

"Well, that's something," said Sarah. "We might be able to contact him. Or you and Rory can hack into the network and find his location."

Benny raised an eyebrow. "You've been watching too many movies, Sarah."

She stuck her tongue out. "Only with you – two –" Her face fell as she said it, and to cover, she studied the bookshelves. She pointed at the gaps. "Anything useful gone missing?"

Benny looked at it. "Not that I can think of. He keeps his books in subjects, and then orders them by the author's name. The only gaps are from his fiction section. Look. His maps and phrase books are still here."

"Phrase books?" asked Sarah.

"Remember when he split – I split him - in two and tried to speak French? After that, he convinced himself that he was a natural linguist. Went out and tried to learn half a dozen different languages." Benny smiled nostalgically. "Useless at all of them." He brought himself back to the present. "Wherever Ethan's going, he'll be speaking English."

"So not far, then? If no maps?"

Benny shrugged. "Could be anywhere from here to Mexico. And just because he didn't take a map from here doesn't mean that he can't get one somewhere else. In all honesty, Sarah, I can't see how this helps us work out where he is at all."

Sarah nodded reluctantly. "Yeah… Anywhere that you can think of that he might want to go?"

Benny thought. "He always talked about Toronto. He was desperate to go to university there, ever since you and Erica left. Well, to be honest, he's always talked about going there. Then again, he might want to go somewhere completely different. Somewhere where he can be isolated. Lots of space. He likes big empty spaces. Relaxes him, you know?"

"I can't say that I've ever noticed," said Sarah.

Benny shrugged. "No reason why you would." A distant look dropped onto his face. "I remember this time, in the last year of elementary school, when we were going on a school trip. We were on the bus for hours – at least, it seemed like that – and Ethan was going completely stir crazy, almost jumping out of his seat, until, just in time, I reckon, we got to wherever it was we were going. Some national park or something. Middle of nowhere. Well, we'd only just pulled up, when he ripped off his seat-belt, jumped right over me, and sprinted down the aisle and out of the bus. I thought he was desperate for the loo, something like that, but, when I got off the bus right after him, he was just lying on his back on the ground, staring up at the sky. Then, I lay down as well. After that, everyone did it, I think. Even the teachers. Even the bus driver." Benny laughed wistfully. "I can still see the sky. How big it was. How blue." He broke from his reverie. "He likes that." He shook his head. "But it doesn't help us. He could be anywhere."

Sarah nodded. "All we know is that he intends to be gone for a while."

"Mmm. There's nothing in this room that can help us any further," said Benny.

Sarah glanced around, and then at the clock. "We should get back. Maybe Rory and Erica will have had more luck."

"Yes." Benny nodded, and walked to the door. On his way, his eye was caught by something. An empty frame. He frowned, and then noticed a torn piece of paper on the floor. He picked it up and looked at what it was.

"Benny?" asked Sarah. "Do you know what might have been in that frame?"

Blinking the tears back furiously, Benny shook his head, replacing the frame on the bookcase with a slightly shaky hand. "No," he said, softly. "Nothing important, anyway."

Sarah nodded, and turned away, opening the door. Benny dropped the bit of paper into his pocket when she wasn't looking, and taking one last look around Ethan's room, followed Sarah out.