(A/N: Sorry this took so long! I have the next chapter nearly finished so hopefully the next update won't take nearly as much time. As always, thank you so much for the favs, reviews, and follows; every one of which is encouragement to keep me going. A special thank you to vanessaserrato, ThePhantomismyLove, SweetAndBitterCherry, rose, Anna10473, and Faery66 for your kind reviews.)
I awoke with a start, shooting up in my bed, my eyes feverishly scanning the room. I blinked furiously, trying to clear the sleep from my vision. As everything came into focus, I realized I was alone in my bedroom. All seemed normal. The pile of clothes I had left for days on my desk chair still sat crumpled and abandoned, and my neglected collection of water glasses still scattered throughout the room. A habit my father always hated.
I wracked my brain as to how I came to be home, safe in my bed, and I begged myself to remember anything.
What in the hell happened?
I glanced at the alarm clock on my bedside table and noted it was well into the afternoon.
Of what day? I wondered, shocked.
I sat for a moment in bed, frozen in thought, trying to untangle my mess of memories and decipher the real from the fake. I hadn't been still for long before I recognized the nagging feeling of the fullness of my bladder. Hesitantly, I pushed the heavy comforter back and slowly dropped my heavy feet onto the cool floor. My gaze fell down toward what I was wearing: an old slightly skimpy pajama set. I felt slightly nauseated wondering if I had dressed myself in this willingly, or had it picked out for me by someone else. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pushed the thought from my mind and pressed on, carefully making my way toward my bedroom door. Grasping onto the doorknob as silently as possible, I twisted it and forced myself to peer into the dim hallway, but it was empty. I lingered at the threshold of my bedroom, listening intently, before stepping into the hall.
"H-hello?" I called, meekly, fearful of a response, but I was met instead with silence.
"Hello? Is anyone here?" I cried again.
I stood silently, shifting from foot to foot uneasily but no response came.
Slowly I crept a few footsteps into the hall toward the bathroom, my feet pressing lightly along the creaking wood floor. My heart thudded against my chest as I crept closer and closer. Quickly, I slithered through the open doorway and swiftly closed and locked the door behind me in a single motion. I pressed my back against the door heavily and felt my chest heave in sync with my labored breaths. I closed my eyes and held my hand to my chest.
Eventually, after finding some semblance of calm, I turned toward the sink. As I lifted my gaze toward the mirror, a scream caught in my throat when my eyes met the monster that stared back at me.
I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. I had to lean against the sink, my hands bracing myself, yet I couldn't rip my eyes away from the horror that was my own reflection.
My mouth. My god, my mouth.
I began to shake violently as I stared at the deep, raw gashes that crawled up from the corners of my lips. My eyes settled on the handy-work of the stitches. The meat of my cheeks had been so badly sewn together that the skin gruesomely bunched and twisted and old blood and fluid lingered in the gullies of flesh. The scream that had been trapped in my throat suddenly found its way out and I couldn't stop myself. As my lips parted to make room, both cheeks tore wide open as if made of wet paper. Blood filled my mouth and poured uncontrollably from the gaping wounds that seemed to split my face in two.
Once again, I awoke, this time screaming, my hands grasping either side of my face, my legs twisting and thrashing, trapped within tangled sheets. My body writhed violently on the bed before I was finally freed from my fabric restraints. My chest heaved with each laboured breath and hot beads of sweat trickled down my face. My entire back was soaked and I tossed the sheets to the ground. I sat for a moment, my hands trembling as I brought them back up to my cheeks. Slowly I brought my fingertips down onto the skin of my cheeks. I winced as I felt hot wet skin, anticipating the pain of fresh wounds. Instead, my touch met the slick, warm smoothness of unscathed skin. I carefully prodded my face further, afraid my fingers would meet paper-thin skin, but the only pain I felt was a phantom tender aching in my cheeks. I marvelled at the realism of my dream.
As I sat against the bedframe in a daze, the faint discomfort in my bladder pulled me back into reality. Now truly cognizant, I glanced around the room. As my eyes scanned my surroundings, I felt my pulse quicken and my anxiety once against rise as it dawned on me that I was not, in fact, in my bedroom.
The room was dim thanks to the thick, heavy curtains that covered the single small window. The floor was green dingy carpet, and peeling floral patterned wallpaper coated the walls. The only thing in the room with me besides the bed was a small, wooden beside table and a dated matching dresser on the adjacent wall. I made note of another doorway, left ajar, near the exit and assumed it was a bathroom.
As my eyes frantically scanned the room, I concluded this was undeniably a hotel, or more likely, motel room, and by the state of it, one in the Narrows.
"Oh…My god." I nearly choked on my words.
I sat, frozen for a moment, my mouth hanging open in horror and disbelief, and my mind racing. Lost in thought, I found myself absent-mindedly staring at a white shirt crumpled on the ground in the corner of the room, covered in what looked like dried blood.
"What the fuck happen-" I whispered to myself, but stopped when it dawned on me that the bloody shirt I had been gaping at was mine. Goosebumps erupted on my skin as my last memories came flooding in. I blinked back tears recalling the chaos at GCN, the weak and sick fleeing Gotham General and my head throbbed viciously when I remembered the crack of my skull against the alley's cold brick wall.
With a shaking hand, I slowly reached toward my head, and even before I made contact my scalp, blood encrusted hair tickled my encroaching fingers. Carefully, I felt along a fault line of rough, uneven stitches on the right side of my head…Unmistakably someone's handiwork.
My chest tightened and I bent over, positioning my head between my knees and closing my eyes, taking several deep, shuttering gasps, as I desperately tried to grapple with a tsunami of anxiety. With my head lowered, blood rushed toward my ugly wound and the rhythmic pounding of my heartbeat in my ears and deafened me.
I sat like that for what felt like forever until I was light-headed, but breathing evenly. My back ached from my bent position, and eventually, I uncurled myself, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Unsteadily, I stood and walked around the room, legs wobbling like a newborn fawn. I made my way around the bed using the frame as support while scanning for any sign of my phone. Predictively, there was nothing...not even the pair of jeans I remembered wearing when I last had it in hand. In fact, as I stood looking down at my bare legs, peaking out from under an oversized t-shirt, I determined, uncomfortably, that someone had actually changed my clothes. Grimacing, I turned and scuttled toward the door, my bare feet padding lightly against the stained, olive carpet as I went.
Cautiously, I reached for the doorknob and hesitated when I noticed there was no chain lock on the door, only the mark from where one once was. I studied it for a moment before tightly grasping the handle and turning…except it wouldn't budge. I tugged, and pushed, and tore on the knob in vain.
"What the fuck kind of hotel room locks from the outside?" I wondered aloud, furious and terrified.
Turning on my heels, I hurried back across the room toward the window and tore open the heavy, grime-coated drapes, dust billowing into the stagnant hotel room air around me. A small despondent cry escaped my throat when my gaze fell upon the dark steel nail heads poking out of the window's sealed ledge. Still, intuitively, I pushed up on the filthy windowpane desperately, to no avail.
I felt like I was suffocating, as if the dust and grime was filling my lungs and I gasped desperately for breath, realizing this was likely the onset of another panic attack.
I sunk to my knees before the sunny window, trying to catch my breath as my gaze drifted toward the ceiling, stopping just at the top of the window, seemingly... unsealed. I sprang up and clawed at the dusty ledge, using all of my weight to tear it down. Slowly I felt it slip down, just a little, and I felt the cool, fresh air trickle over my fingertips. I continued to use all of my weight to pull and pry at the window, but it refused to drop open any more than the 4 cm it had so graciously granted me. The familiar scent of city air drifted into the room and cut through its staleness. I breathed in the cold air deeply, the tiny hint of the outside world helping to stifle a full mental and emotional breakdown.
Beyond the dirty pane of the window I could see out to the street far below. My eyes settled on the few people scattered on the street and I made note of the surrounding buildings. However superficial, the character of both seemed to confirm what I already suspected, that I was definitely in the seedier part of the city.
I noticed a man in black make his way across the street in my direction and estimated I couldn't be more than three stories up from the street, conceivably close enough that he could hear or see me. Unthinking, I began frantically pounding on the window, smashing my palms against the glass.
"HEY!" I screamed, my voice cracking like I hadn't spoken a word in weeks. I stood on my tiptoes to try and move closer to the window's slim opening.
"HELP! PLEASE!"
I continued to scream desperately and pound my fists against the thick glass, and as I did, the man in black stopped suddenly and looked around, confused.
Oh my god! Yes!
I felt my eyes well with hopeful tears.
"HEY! I'M UP HERE! I'M UP-"
A barrage of sound cut me off as the door to my room crashed open.
(A/N: I hope you liked the update! The next chapter will have lots of Joker-y goodness!)