Title: The Life of an Ex-Addict

World: AU

Rated: M (Mature)

Genre(s): Romance/Angst/Drama

Pair(s): Dwayne/John, Randy/John

Summary: John Cena has had a difficult life. As the son of a mob boss, he never really knew what love was. And his four older brothers intend to show him that he can either submit to the influence of the mob or he can die.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, besides the kids.

Dedication: This is for CENTON JADE SLASH, who requested this dark fic with this specific plot.

Warning: Slash, Incest, Drug Use, Mob Influence, Murder, Bloodshed, Mental Disorders, Rape, Mpreg, etc.

Part: 10/? – A Date With The Counselor

OOOO

I walked into Ryback's office and sat down. When the man turned around to face me, I almost had a heart attack. He was well over six-feet-tall and close to three-hundred pounds, but it was all muscle. He was bald, but he had a small amount of dark brown stubble across his chin. And his eyes were an incredible shade of blue. The color rivaled a clear, summer sky. Steph had told me that he was a bodybuilder. I believed that he was a monster.

"So, Mr. Cena, I'm Ryback and I will be your counselor. We will have two hour sessions three days a week, but you can chose the days that are most comfortable to you. But I'm not here on Wednesdays." Ryback said.

"Okay. Um… I have work every day of the week, but that's only from nine to six. I'm sure that we could work a schedule out." I nodded and smiled at him weakly.

Ryback nodded. "May I call you John?" I made a soft, affirmative noise. "Okay, John. I would like you to tell me a little bit about yourself. What was your childhood like? Why did you move to Cameron?"

I chuckled darkly, but there was no real humor behind it. "My childhood was the reason for this whole mess."

Ryback looked at me seriously. "Explain."

"My father was an abusive bastard who always wanted to hurt me." I elaborated. "He did this to me."

Ryback took a few notes down. "So, there is some drama between you and your father. Tell me more about him."

I wasn't sure if I should confess that my father is associated with the mob, so I didn't. "He was a cheater. He cheated on my mother a lot. In their marital bed, too. It was horrible."

"Your mother… you don't mention her much." Ryback stated. "I assume that the abuse became worse after she was out of the picture?" Ryback asked.

"She died when I was little. I really don't remember all that much about her. But that wasn't what you asked, was it? You wanted to know if the abuse became worse. Yes, much, much worse." I said.

I had promised Steph that I would be entirely truthful and I meant every word of it. It would be useless to lie to Ryback. If I wanted to become better, then I would have to accept the fact that my father was an abusive bastard and I was his favorite victim. And if it would help me to overcome this horrific addiction, then I would take that step and lay all of my cards out on the table for him. He could help me. I was sure of it.

Ryback told me to make myself comfortable and I did just that. He warmed me some tea and slid it across the table. It smelled like herbal tea, and I remember that my mother used to make me herbal tea when I was little. A few tears bristled in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I would put on my best brave face, because I wasn't weak by any means. I could fend for myself. My addiction was just a minor setback.

"Tell me about your father." Ryback said. He scribbled a few notes down onto his clipboard. "Just tell me as much as you are comfortable with. I don't want to feel like I've forced you into a corner with this."

"No. It's fine. The only way that I can overcome this addiction is if I face the cause of it, right? My father had five children, my four older brothers and I. Kevin and I are the only ones related to Ma by blood." I explained.

"Your father cheated on your mother?" Ryback asked.

I nodded. "All of the time. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence to find him with some nameless slut every other day. They just wanted him for his money. If they got pregnant, they dumped the kids on the front doorstep."

"That's a shame. It must've been difficult to witness this kind of behavior as a child. Especially because, from the sound of it, you were rather close to your mother."

"He didn't even care that she had died. He called her a bitch and said that she had lied to me my whole life."

"Did you believe him?" Ryback asked.

I was silent for a moment, before I hesitantly nodded. "Yeah. Guess I did."

"Your father seemed like he was extremely manipulative. Tell me how this played into your teen years." Ryback said.

"I found out that I was," here, my eyes flicked up to gage his reaction, before they fell back down to the table. "I found out that I was gay when I was sixteen. Needless to say, he wasn't ecstatic to find out that his son was gay."

"What did he do?" Ryback asked innocently. It should have been an innocent question, but it wasn't. Not really.

"Do I have to?" I asked weakly. I cursed myself as my voice trembled.

"It would make it easier for you to confront your demons later on if they're not hiding in the dark." Ryback explained. "But like I said earlier, I don't want you to feel as if I've forced you to confess something."

I was silent for several minutes. However, I knew that what Ryback was said was totally true. So, I told him. I told him about how my father had beaten me and locked me in The Punishment Room. When he asked what The Punishment Room was, I explained to him that it was a room in the basement that didn't have any windows and the bed was an old, rotted cot. I told him that I had been forced to wear a dog collar and had been chained to a pole.

I later explained that I had been fed from a dish, and when I felt extremely weak, someone would come downstairs and throw a bucket of water with ice chips on me. It was a horrific experience that my father had orchestrated to try and 'scare' the homosexuality out of me. From then on, I was forced to lie about how I was. I didn't want to be hurt anymore. So I told him that when I left for university, I would find a nice girl and we would marry and have three kids.

Ryback wrote down several notes. "I think that you are making excellent progress, John. I am glad that you trust me enough to be able to tell me all of this. How do you feel?"

"I feel… good." I said honestly. "It's nice to be able to say that. I mean, I haven't felt this nice in awhile. Thank you for that." I told him with a smile.

"It's because you finally have all of this off of your chest. I would recommend you find someone that you trust to talk to. Tell them about this and don't hold it all inside." Ryback explained.

"I think that I'll try that. Thank you." I said.

"Good." Ryback said as he scribbled down a date on an appointment card. "I'll see you in two days, John."

I nodded and took the card. "I'm actually… looking forward to it."

OOOO

The next two months were relatively uneventful. I continued to see Ryback on a consistent basis. We talked about my four older brothers and my relationships with them. I still wasn't ready to admit that they had raped me, but I did hint to it a few times. I was sure that Ryback could tell that there was more to the story than I let on, but like he said on numerous occasions, he wouldn't force me to tell until I was ready.

Phil came home from the hospital at the end of his third month of treatment. He would have been home sooner, but he had developed an infection in his lung and had been forced to undergo a series of invasive treatments. Because of the fact that he know had a significant sized scar on his lung, he had been forced to turn in his badge and retire from the force. Jeff had ordered him to rest for a few months, before he decided to head back to school for a degree.

My relationship with Dwayne was going extremely well. Better than would be expected for a first love, but I think that we both wanted to take it slow. Dwayne was still hurting from Cody and I had a few demons in the closet, after all. However, we were now into month four of our relationship. It's the spring time, and Ryback has put me on an anti-depressant to help my cravings when my mood starts to swing. I was extremely thankful for them.

"I hear that your counselor has helped you a lot. Steph only has the highest praise for him." Dwayne said as he brought our dinner into the dining room. "She even asked her father to give him a raise."

"Oh. Please, don't." I mumbled underneath my breath, even if she wasn't around to hear me. "I'm already embarrassed about the fact that they had to pay for it from the start."

"Don't worry about it, Candy-Ass. I'm sure if you annoyed him enough, Vince would let you pay him back." Dwayne said. I slapped him on the arm and watched as he laughed.

"Oh, so I'm annoying now?" I asked, one eyebrow raised.

"You know that that's not what I meant, baby." Dwayne answered.

I rolled my eyes. "What did you make for dinner?"

"Chicken. Chicken, with a small side salad and apple pie for dessert." Dwayne said.

I smiled at him and tasted the food. It was delicious. "This tastes wonderful. I'm dating a chef and a baker. Who would've thought?" I smiled at him innocently.

Dwayne wore a look of false hurt. It was his turn to smack me on the arm indignantly. "I should be insulted! I am good for something, you know!" Dwayne huffed.

I calmed down enough to offer him a sweet smile. "You're good for a lot of stuff, Dwayne."

We ate in comfortable silence. True to my original belief, the food was absolutely delicious. Dwayne nicknamed me the 'human vacuum', because every bit of food that was on my plate was devoured in a matter of seconds. It was so delicious that I couldn't help myself. And once all of the pie had been eaten, I leaned back in my seat and rubbed my swollen belly in slow circles. I was absolutely stuffed.

Dwayne teased me as he took all of the dishes into the kitchen. He then walked over to me and scooped me up into his arms bridal style. I chuckled and kicked my legs, protesting weakly. He was every bit the knight in shining armor that I heard about in the fairytales that my Momma used to read to me. He carried me upstairs and tossed me down onto the bed. I chuckled, but my smile fell when he looked at the clock.

"I really should head home. It's late and I have school tomorrow." Dwayne said softly. I pouted. I wasn't ready for him to leave yet.

"Please, Dwayne. Just stay with me. Just for tonight. I just… I really don't want to be alone." I said honestly. A few tears shimmered in my eyes.

"Okay." Dwayne climbed into bed with me. I rolled over and put my head on his chest.

"You make me feel safe." I mumbled softly as sleep overcame me.

The last words that I heard were, "I'll always be there to make you feel that way."

OOOO

A/N: Please Review!