Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu

Chapter 9

By Natsudori Lina

Sailor Moon's back was aching. Bent backwards beneath the weight of Beryl's power, hair stuck to the nape of her neck, the flesh of her palms blistered against the heat of the Moon Wand. They'd been at this for hours, it seemed. Somehow, she'd always thought that, though brutal, the final battle would be quick. Venus and Mars had awakened some time ago to drag themselves to join Jupiter and Mercury, grim-faced, behind their princess, ready to lend what power they had left when called upon. In an unspoken accord, they did not waste their energy. They seemed to know that any efforts they made now would only weaken them for the final strike. Moon's arms, so easy to hold up when she'd first lifted them in defense, now felt like they had iron weights strapped to them. If nothing else, she thought wryly, at least she was getting a wicked arm workout today.

Somewhere to her right, Tuxedo Kamen's hair hung in dampened strings from his head. Kunzite had struck again with Beryl's first blow, sword heaved over his head. Kamen had intercepted the blow. Kunzite hadn't lost the manic energy that he'd had at the beginning. He flew at Kamen again and again in a frenzy of rage. Tuxedo Kamen's mask had fallen to the wayside some time ago, but he still managed to block most of Kunzite's strikes as he stumbled backwards. His fatigue was beginning to show.

Meanwhile, Tokyo slept and an unnatural stillness hovered over the city. Sailor Moon was afraid to ask how. She grunted and straightened with an effort. The ginzuishou let stream a burst of light, pushing the black energy back a quarter of the way.

"Give up," Beryl demanded in a rasp. She wet her cracked, dry lips.

Sailor Moon snorted in response. "You wish." She leaned her weight to her right, trying to relieve some of the strain on her left leg.

"How very like the spoiled little princess to assume." The beam of black widened. "No, you foolish girl. I do not wish. Wishes are for the hopeless. The weak. The ones who look upon the night sky and believe that twinkling bits of light in the sky will mend their sicknesses, fill their pockets, maybe even make someone love them." Beryl's voice fractured on the bitterness it contained. Sailor Moon grit her teeth and funneled her power through the wand under the forceful deluge that rained like a black hail down from Beryl's hands. It wasn't enough. Bit by bit, the black stones of energy punched through Sailor Moon's silver. The Moon Wand acted as a conduit but when it came right down to it, Sailor Moon was discovering, it hindered the strength of the raw power of the ginzuishou. Beryl continued, spittle gathering in the corner of her mouth. "They look at that sickly glowing ball in the sky and think that it promises them something more. They think that you—your high and mighty race of Lunarian putrescence— that you care for them. They don't know, as I do, how you must take what you want from this universe. Because no one will help you. You must seek out what power there is and bend the universe to your will!" Beryl finished in a roar and Sailor Moon tossed the wand aside to cup the ginzuishou bare-handed.

It was like plugging a lamp into an outlet during a thunderstorm and feeling the power surge crawl into her body. It could only be so long before the bulb and her heart would burst from a light and current that it just wasn't made to contain. Usagi had never reached the core of the ginzuishou's power before and it was both electrifying and terrifying. Every cell in her tingled with a maddening exhilaration.

As though it was child's play, the silver light of the ginzuishou batted the black away. Beryl fell to her knees as the light engulfed her. Usagi barely noticed when white lace brushed her ankles and the light weight of pearls settled onto her wrists. She watched the spot where Beryl had fallen with avid eyes, but didn't dare lower her arms or the ginzuishou. It can't have been that easy, she thought.

It wasn't.

Beryl burst from the silver spotlight, away from the steady stream of power. In her hand was a beveled sword the color of marcasite. The blade was curved wickedly, with a jagged pointed hilt. She cackled like a woman gone mad as she flew at Serenity.

Endymion didn't waste time with words but Serenity heard his hurried footsteps as he tried to make it to her side. Kunzite yanked his cape and pulled him back and away. Kunzite didn't seem to expect it when a set of thorned vines split the pavement to wrap him up in their shoots. They jabbed into his flesh, tore the fabric of his coat. Kunzite howled as the vines twisted around his body, folded him in half. He choked on his own breath until his breath was no more. Endymion was already running again, towards Serenity.

Sailor Venus leapt forward to defend her princess, clutching a blade that shone like platinum, but Serenity seized it, the ginzuishou vanishing, to turn and block Beryl's strike. The swords met with a clang and Serenity cried out when the impact vibrated through her. She held her grip, refusing to give her senshi a chance to take over. This was her fight.

"You stupid, stupid, girl," Beryl panted. She bore down hard with her black sword, using it one-handed. She moved a hand to grip her own shoulder as though it pained her and Serenity felt a little gratified. And least the Dark Kingdom queen didn't seem used to the swordplay overmuch either.

Both of their feet left the ground just as Endymion reached them. A black wind lifted them into the surrounding air. Beryl seemed more at ease here, floating leisurely. Her purple dress rippled around her spiked black heels and really—Serenity thought furiously, struggling to stay upright—who on earth would choose to wear heels to a battle? Serenity kicked off from a nearby building in an attempt to launch herself, sword and all at Beryl.

The dark queen stepped aside to easily avoid the blow and charged at Serenity to pin her to the white cement of an office building.

"This is quite the switch isn't it?" Beryl mused, a cruel smile spreading across her mouth. Her lip split and bled, but she paid it no mind. "After all, once upon a time, if you'd found me on your planet I'd have been the one fighting the atmosphere."

Serenity kept her silence.

"Did you never wonder?" Beryl stroked an indigo talon down Serenity's cheek. She cringed away from the witch's touch, pressing her cheek to the wall. Beryl caught her arm again as Serenity started to raise her sword, and tutted in warning. "No, no, no, we're having a dialogue, little princess. Just think: what if? What if you had simply stayed in the sky where you were supposed to? Perhaps your so-called 'great' civilization would still exist. Perhaps thousands of lives would not have been lost due to your selfishness."

Serenity spat in her eye, the most ammunition she had since Beryl had her pinioned at the elbows, unable to lift her sword. "You want to talk selfish? What if you hadn't been so desperate that you started a war for someone who never loved you?"

Beryl struck her with the flat of her sword. Serenity's cheek throbbed with the blow. "He would have loved me." The whisper was more to herself than Serenity. "He will love me. And your death will be slow, before the entire Dark Kingdom. My youma could use the entertainment."

Serenity wasn't going to die. Not stuck to the side of Star Trust Mutual Bank like she was now. Her mind raced. Something wasn't right. Beryl was too strong. How? The Dark Kingdom had been formidable before, but they shouldn't have enough energy gathered for an attack of this scale right now, not with the weak youma they'd been using lately. She flicked her gaze to the window she was pressed next to. Inside, people slumped over desks, still as death, except for the gentle rise and fall of their chests that betrayed the life still inside of them.

Beryl watched her, wary of the silence, the lack of resistance. "What are you about, girl?"

"It's them," Serenity said softly. She looked from Beryl to the peaceful figures inside and back again. "It's the people—the humans, isn't it? That's how you're doing this. You're taking their energy. That's why the entire city is still asleep."

Beryl shrugged. "Awake, their wills consume too much of their energy. It's wasteful. By inducing sleep, I can put it to better use. It's the least they can do for their queen."

"But you're not their queen," Serenity corrected her. "You're on Earth, Beryl, which already has a sovereign."

"You?" Beryl snarled. "You think you're fit to rule them?" She sneered into Serenity's face, red hair slicing into her eyes.

"No." Serenity craned her neck over Beryl's to see the ground below them, where she could see the senshi and Endymion gesticulating wildly as they argued about their own course of action. And then she yelled for all she was worth. "Endymion! Mamo-chan. We need the city to wake up! It's how she's—"

"Shut. Up." Beryl released one of Serenity's arms to hold her sword to her neck.

Out of the corner of her eye, Serenity saw, in a flurry or multi-colored skirts, her senshi rush to shake the bodies that had dropped where they stood, the ones that had been tossed into windows.

"Come on, princess."

It was hard to tell from the distance, but the civilians seemed to be stirring, one by shaken one. Not fast enough.

"I thought it was the hero's nature to prolong a chance for escape," Beryl mocked. "You may be able to extend your miserable life for a day or so."

Even from the height where they hovered, Serenity could see Endymion's eyes shining a molten gold. He slowly lifted his hands, like the conductor of an orchestra that they couldn't hear. The planet pulsed once, but Beryl was so lost to her own brilliance that she took no note.

"But one more word—"

They were losing altitude; the princess and the would-be queen, falling so slowly that Beryl still didn't notice. The black wind that whirled around them slowed. People stirred inside the building, beginning to lift their heads and look blearily around. The brace of Beryl's hand around Serenity's arm felt weaker somehow.

"And I'll—"

Her arm free, Serenity plunged her sword through Beryl's middle to the hilt. Beryl screamed and Serenity did too on a sob, thrusting every bit of power that the ginzuishou had to offer through it. Red, yellow, blue, green and gold shot from the ground and she spun them together too and through the sword, which hummed with the power.

Please. Who Serenity was begging, she couldn't say, but she asked again. Please.

The chuckle started low in Beryl's throat. "It's not enough." She threw her arms wide, laughing maniacally, and she and Serenity were buoyed into the air again, Serenity's back scraping on the stone of the building until they were far above the city, hanging in the clouds themselves. "It's not enough! I am too strong for you." Beryl's head rolled on her shoulder like she was easing a crick in her neck and she tenderly traced the edge of the sword that protruded from her stomach still. "You're. Not. Enough."

Serenity gripped her sword with both hands and pushed harder. Beryl only laughed louder. Maybe it had always been meant to come to this, Serenity thought. She screwed her eyes shut and reached down into herself to find her own core of power. She wasn't only the ginzuishou-wielder. She'd been Sailor Moon before that, and if that was what it came down to…

Every little nugget, every seed, every tingle of magic that she had went through that sword. Her fingers loosened on the hilt; she was losing the strength to hold it. Another push of power, maybe her last. Beryl stiffened. Serenity's hand dropped away and her head lolled backwards. Like the air went slack with them, they dropped from the sky. And the last thing that Serenity saw as she plummeted back to earth was Beryl's limp body toppling onto her, her hair knotting around the both of them like threaded embalming.

It felt wrong when they hit the earth with little sound but a soft thump and the crack of bone. Two beings of such great power, it seemed that there should have been more impact, like a meteoroid that formed a crater around it. The Sailor Senshi and a teenage boy in an avocado green jacket tripped over themselves in their rush to the tangle of hair, arms, and legs.

"Princess!" Venus reached them first and dropped to her knees. "No."

Mars, the next to get there, let out a choked sob. "We were supposed to protect her."

Jupiter and Mercury begged, as the four girls fell together to hold each other. A torrent of words gushed from them, from all the senshi. A river of "pleases," "you can'ts," "we love yous," and "come backs."

Mamoru started forward, a fog hanging over his mind. He had known words once, too. Used them like his roses in battle—pretty, but cutting. They still lingered somewhere within him, but as he stared at the two broken bodies on the ground, they escaped his grip, refused to travel to his tongue. Unmoving, sinister purple and brazen orange-red were shoved to the side from where they lay atop blue skirts and golden hair that fell from its buns. Usagi's eyes were closed, her limbs at unnatural angles. Gold played about Mamoru's fingers dimly, his power all but spent as he stood over the small figure of a simple schoolgirl.

Her breath came in shallow, stuttered gasps. She was unconscious, Mamoru saw with hope. Not alive. Not dead. Somewhere between.

Mamoru found a word. Just one, but it was enough.

"Odango."

The golden sparks flared to life like a switch had been flipped. They raced to do his bidding, leaping across the small expanse between the girl he'd known forever and yet too short time. There wasn't much left in him, but all he needed was the slightest bit of her soul to act as kindling and ignite—There! Usagi's body bucked once on the rubble-strewn ground and Mercury broke off in the middle of a sob. Again. Mamoru grabbed Usagi's shoulders and pressed the sparks into her. Three more times. Just when he was ready to give up, she took a great, gulping breath of air and her hand latched onto his wrist.

"I thought we agreed," she wheezed as she opened her eyes. "That you were going to stop calling me Odango, Baka-chan."

The next day, Usagi was allowed to leave the hospital. The disoriented victims didn't seem to recall the floating figures and spectacular light show that had preceded them falling to the ground, but they did remember seeing Mamoru and the Sailor Senshi gathered around her, as she sat up, obviously injured. The doctors had kept her in the hospital for observation after the eyewitness accounts of the aftermath. The Senshi had taken to the rooftops once they were sure that Usagi was healing normally—well, as normally as they healed anyway. Mamoru had gotten away with a cursory look over and short statement to the police on the scene, but Usagi had a surprisingly strong grip on his knuckles for someone who'd come so close to death, so despite the paramedics' initial protests, he was permitted to ride along to the hospital with her. Usagi had also threatened that if they didn't let him come, she'd scream. She assured them that they didn't want that; they had no idea how loud she could yell.

Mamoru, unable to contain his grin when they looked at him in disbelief, said "She'll do it. She's crazy." He smoothed a hand over one of her buns.

To her disappointment though, no matter what volume she threatened them with, the hospital staff absolutely refused to let him into the room with her. "I don't care how loud you yell, missy," one particularly stern nurse told her, wagging a finger into Usagi's pouting face. "If it comes down to it, I'll run down to the drugstore on the corner and buy earplugs for the whole staff, but the examination rooms are for family only and I don't see a ring on either of your fingers."

Face reddening, Mamoru took that as his cue, pecking her on the cheek and whispering in her ear that a certain masked man would pay her a visit later that night. Usagi crossed her arms and settled back into the hospital-mandated wheelchair; the unflattering hospital gown wrinkled with the motion. "He had better," she mumbled. She pointed a commanding finger down the hallway, directing her words at the nurse behind her. "Come on Bernadette! Allons-y!"

Mamoru rolled his eyes as he walked out. "I never should have let her borrow my Doctor Who DVDs."

As the only casualties, Beryl and Kunzite's pictures were still circulating the news networks. The media was asking anyone who recognized "Jane or John Doe" to come forward to identify them. When alone, none in their group said a word when someone changed the channel, but Usagi's mother always scolded her for her lack of sympathy. Mamoru had squeezed her hand as she fidgeted in her seat after his first Tsukino family dinner. "Tsukino Usagi," Ikuko said from her position next to her husband, who'd spent the entirety of dinner glaring at Mamoru.

He made a mental note to bribe Ami to scan Kenji for any Dark Kingdom brainwashing. He'd almost prefer that to be the reason for the man's obvious disliking towards him.

"They were in the same freak attack that you were." Ikuko shook her head. "That could just as easily have been you."

Mamoru swallowed the reply that wanted to rise to his lips: "Tsukino-san, you have no idea."

Weeks later, the city and the senshi were cautiously optimistic about the fact that there hadn't been any large-scale youma attacks since what Japan News had titled the Aurora Attack (someone in their marketing department clearly had a thing for fairy tales). It was too much to hope for that the youma would disappear entirely, but without the organization that Beryl provided, the youma seemed confused when they made their way to the crowds, seizing citizens, and when the senshi and Tuxedo Kamen showed up, they said their attacks like a question.

Mamoru almost felt sorry for them.

When it had been two months since the last youma sighting, Usagi stomped into the arcade. She slung her black schoolbag onto the table and dropped into the booth across from Mamoru. She lifted her feet onto his knees under the table. "So this it?" she demanded.

"What's it?" He raised a hand in greeting to the girls who were grabbing seats at the counter. Minako and Rei were almost nice to Mamoru now, albeit with a needling sort of friendship. It seemed saving their princess after Beryl was out of the picture was all that Venus and Mars required and once that itty-bitty task was taken care of, they pretty much laid off.

Usagi leaned forward, intent. "This!" She widened her eyes at Mamoru like that would make him understand.

"I'm going to need you to be a bit more specific."

"The bo-ring," Usagi enunciated. "We walk to school. We go to class. No interruptions. We eat lunch like civilized people—"

"—Most of us."

"Like civilized people, Mamo-chan," she said with a glare. "I go to detention, we come here. You get your chocolate shake or coffee depending on your mood, I steal it depending on my mood, maybe the girls join us, and then you walk me home." She whirled a finger in the air. "And repeat. I miss fighting for justice," she sighed.

"What about fighting for love?"

She waved a flippant hand. "What fight? You've got me, I've got you. Bing, bang, boom, baby."

"Quiet contentment isn't good enough for you?"

She pointed at herself. "Loud," she said by way of explanation.

He raised his eyebrows and sat one elbow on the table. "Am I to understand that you're bored with me, Usako?" He stroked a finger down her stocking. She jumped and he grinned.

"Don't look so smug," she said.

"Come on, I'm Mister Exciting!" he protested.

"No, you are Mister Routine. Mister By-the-book. Mister A-place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place. I'm the exciting one."

"Can't we just agree that we're both exciting?"

"You haven't kissed me all day," she said pointedly. "If you want to be exciting, I think you should work for it a little."

Ah-ha. Now he saw the glimmer of mischief in her eye. He took her chin between his thumb and pointer finger and dropped a soft kiss onto her lips. "How was that?"

"Getting there," she murmured.

He reached for her again and when her mouth opened eagerly under his, he lost his breath. He moved a hand to the side of her neck and she leaned into his touch without breaking the kiss. It was when he inched from his side of the booth's bench, around the table to Usagi's side and gripped her waist in his hands that Motoki bellowed from behind the counter. "This is a family place!" The couple sprang apart, cheeks heated for more reasons than one.

"Exciting," Usagi said, wide-eyed. She looked shell-shocked on her side of the booth. "Right. Definitely exciting."

Mamoru grabbed Usagi's hand and tugged her to her feet. She scrabbled for the handle of her bag. "Come on, Usako. If excitement's what you're looking for, I've got plenty of ideas."

She all but pushed him out the door.

With her small hand in his on the walk back to his apartment, Usagi bumped him with her hip. "I just want to make sure you know I was joking about all of that excitement stuff earlier. I get to be normal again and I get to be with the love of my… lives. I'm not about to take that for granted."

Though he had known it, it still tugged a grin from him to hear her say it out loud. He concentrated and conjured a silver rose, sans thorns, sans blood from his veins, and silently wound the stem around one of Usagi's buns. She blinked up at him. "What's that for?"

He dropped a kiss onto her head. "To remind you that you're so much more than normal to me."

The END

Author's Notes:

Oh. My. Lord.

Is this real life right now? I'm getting this urge to pinch myself because I started writing this… let's see, yep, Haru is over six years old. I "published" the first chapter near the beginning of my senior year of high school and forgot about it through most of college. There was a time when I wouldn't let myself say it, but I'd pretty much abandoned it.

But here we are. It's done. It's really done and I kind of can't believe it.

Thank you to Kaitlyn Fall for beta-ing these last two chapters, to Angel for reminding me that I should finish this, Arashi for beta-ing for me WAY back when, usako_mamoru for just existing, and thank you for reading.

And now I suppose I should get back to work on my original stuff.

Again, thanks for reading! I hope you've enjoyed and that you all have a wonderful new year in 2012!