As promised, when Anna opened her eyes John was there. Not on the bed but stoking the fire. The wind still whipped outside the cabin, the snow lashing the window panes on the other side of their covers, and a chill edged the room. But Anna could feel nothing but warm watching the arch of John's back, bent as he was over the fire.

When he turned she smiled at him, a blush rising to her face when she noted he wore nothing but the skin he was born in. John's eyes met hers and he stalked to the end of the bed, crawling over it to position himself over her. In any other circumstance she might have thought he looked like a predator ready to devour his prey but in this she felt the power arc between them. An equal but opposite force. One where both sides played predator and prey.

"Did I wake you?"

"No." Anna ran a hand over his chest, feeling no hurry. "Has the story gotten worse?"

"It'll be going until morning, by the sounds of it. Then we'll have to wait a day after that for the snow to clear enough for the horses to make it through."

"Will anyone worry?"

"With the fire stoked Mrs. Hughes'll see the cabin's being used. She knew the route we were taking so she'll stay calm."

Anna laughed a little, "She's got a good head on her shoulders your Mrs. Hughes."

"That she does." John stopped, "I'd rather focus on your shoulders if you don't mind."

"Why would I mind?" John paused and Anna nodded her understanding. "You're afraid I might have memories that'll take over the moment."

"You might and I don't want to force you."

"Mr. Bates," Anna allowed a foot to creep out of the encapsulating grip of a fur to stroke up his calf, sending a shiver through him. "If I had any inclinations you were anything but a gentlemen, we wouldn't be in this situation."

"Then you don't mind if I continue?"

"I'd be rather upset if you didn't at this point." Anna nodded toward the fire, her hands still working their slow path over his skin. "We've got a fire, we've to these furs, and we've got two days. I rather think those are all ingredients for a rather enjoyable experience… if any of those pulpy romances are something to go by."

"Then I'll make it better than a pulpy romance."

"It's already better." Anna whispered and John stopped, his lips only a hair from hers. "Because this is real."

"I keep thinking I'll wake up and you'll be the most beautiful dream I ever had." John's lips avoided hers entirely, gracing over her cheekbone and down toward her ear before he traced back along her jaw. Anna's hands tightened on him and her back arched to try and feel him with all the skin she had.

"It's not a dream." She murmured, humming as John shifted down her body with just his lips touching her skin. "I could never dream something like this."

John stayed quiet, choosing instead to devote all of his energies to showering Anna with affection and attention. His hands and knees supported him over her while his mouth set to memorizing her skin through tactile sensation. He traced her muscles and the lines of her skin as they shifted in the firelight. With careful caresses of his tongue he teased her at ticklish spots. And when his body moved her thighs apart Anna almost gasped in anticipation.

But he avoided where she needed him to do something. What exactly she needed him to do or what that something would be, Anna still did not have the vocabulary to describe. That, in and of itself as he moved down her legs with his exciting learning curve, frustrated her. For someone who always prided herself on having the words she needed at hand, this was not a time to feel proud.

It was like learning a foreign language where pointing at various objects or pantomiming certain actions gave basic words but the expression of abstract thought was beyond the capabilities of those only versed in simple sentence structures. How does one put words to a sensational feeling so rooted in the primal brain they can guide someone to solving an ache that might not even be called an ache? And how does a lady, one taught that the expressions of matrimonial affection were taboo outside the bedroom and even there might be awkward, tell a man how to properly care for what she cannot even describe?

With that kind of distraction Anna found her thoughts spinning out of control and away from the tickling, electrifying, and hair-raising attentions of John on her body. And when he came back up, kissing from her other leg and tracing so close to where he had been hours before but avoiding it, Anna realized he knew. Somehow he could read her better than she could read herself. Maybe it was because he was a man.

That could not be true either, she managed to think as his fingers curled around her neck and his thumb smoothed the high bone in her cheek, because Pamuk had no idea what she wanted. Where John could read her like a favorite book, reciting lines and passages at the merest reference to a similar phrase, Pamuk ignored it all. Perhaps that was why, when their lips finally met, she did not feel fear in John's grasp. She only wanted more.

And John was quick to give it to her. With a look that held her steady, and brought her back to the moment with him, John took his downward journey. He stopped to lather attention at her breasts and leave Anna writhing with every suck on her skin or nip at a hardened nipple. His hands still remained mostly static to the side, leveraging him as he moved over her but not touching her.

If Anna wanted him to touch her she could not have said. This was all new to her and while her thoughts flitted to the way his calloused hands held her so gently and scraped at her skin like the burgeoning evidence of the beard on his face, she liked this drawn out adventure all the more for his restraint. They had to work more slowly when all he could use was his mouth and that only heightened Anna's experience.

When his tongue swirled in her navel, Anna clung to a fur under her and tried another hand at his shoulder for a supportive hold. There was not much for her fingers to hold there as the sweat on her fingers slipped from his equally perspirating skin. Her legs spread apart again when John worked his body between them but instead of taking another teasing journey down to her toes he traveled to the space between her legs and settled his teeth on her crying nerves.

They screamed when he tongued over them, sucking them into his mouth before sliding the delicate bundle between his teeth. A nip sent her back arching and her head digging into the hard pillow under her but Anna could only focus on how much she needed to breathe. Forcing panting breaths into her starving lungs, Anna settled herself back on the furs.

Or tried to. Where John's hands had been idle at his sides he now used one to hold her ass firmly, guiding the folds of her body closer to his lips, and the other he skimmed over the slick skin. The weeping of her body, in response to the sensory overload, drove Anna to howl as John licked at it.

With his fingers gliding through her to tease where he had joined them hours ago. Or was it minutes? In the haze of her mind clouded over by emotions rising from years of misunderstandings of these experiences and a chance to share them with someone she wanted to be the only one to give them to her for the rest of her life, Anna could only center her thoughts on John's tongue.

The abrasive point he used to prod and wider her and then the soft coasting motion he used to lick from bottom to top. There he teased again with his teeth biting around her nerves before curling his tongue around to pull and suck her to the point of insanity. And when he pressed his fingers insider her, curling to scrape along the spot that robbed her of breath and sanity, Anna gave in.

She was not sure it was even a question of ifbut whenin terms of their earlier adventure. With her limited experience there was no way to really tell but it was enough. Enough to know that John was the only man she ever wanted in any bed she ever owned, giving this to her as often as he was willing.

John moved up the bed again, laying by her side and Anna could only pull at his hand. He frowned and she shook her head back and forth, not sure what to say. When he did not shift his position, possibly still confused but Anna had closed her eyes to keep all the sensations burned into her memory, Anna threw a leg over him.

Tugging with all the strength she had, which was not much given the sparking of her nerves still trying to contemplate the pinnacle of pleasure John gave her without reservation, Anna finally positioned John between her legs again. She kept one leg notched over his hip as her hands flailed to find his face. Anna forced her eyes open and swallowed to clear her dry mouth.

"I need… more. I need… you."

There were better words to describe what she wanted but Anna could not find them. All she had was the primal response on which she relied so heavily the night before. The primal response that John recognized as he bent his knees enough to slide into her in one move.

Her muscles, still shuddering through their earlier exercise and slightly sore from their vigorous use earlier, tightened around him to leave John moaning into Anna's shoulder before he even attempted to move. Anna wished she could claim credit for whatever had him whispering in her ear or shunting his hips against hers as fast as he could but all she could do was respond. Respond to the words he whispered to her as guidance or praise. Respond to the heat and pressure building up inside her and sought the release of her tension and tightened muscles. Respond to the instinct to use her fingers where his teeth had earlier coaxed a reaction and press in time with his thrusts.

This had her fingers and hand occasionally brushing him and Anna realized she had, as yet, not even seen him. The lack of good lighting and possibly her fear saw to that. But there was time. As she clung to his shoulders and sought refuge with a hand gripping as tightly in his hair as one of his hands did at her hip, Anna consoled herself with the truth that there was time.

They had all the time in the world.

When she tumbled off the peak, shortly after his body shook out the finish he needed, Anna lay back. John draped himself half over her and his harsh breathing echoed in her ear. But it was not a frightening sound. It soothed her and soon they breathed together.

Anna turned to him, fingers brushing the hair from his head and he smiled, catching her hand to kiss it. "Turnabout is fair play and all that?"

"I guess." Anna bit her lip, "I'm not very experienced in this."

"I doubt it's an etiquette they taught you with a governess asking for your correct responses."

"My governess would've had died of shock if I even suggested there was more to… thisthat I wanted to know."

John barely managed to suppress a snigger, "This?"

"I've no other words for it. The vocabulary, in this instance, isn't something I have." Anna tried to hide her face but John laid his hand carefully on her cheek and turned her to him.

"I can teach if you'd like."

"Please." Anna turned to her side as John pointed at her face.

"The eyes are for watching your partner. When the pupils dilate it means they're excited and they want more."

"It can also be fear."

"Which is why," John put a hand between her breasts, pressing where her lungs had only just begun their normal cycle. "You listen for their breathing. The breath hitches differently when someone is afraid. They'll breathe faster as the body prepares itself to run."

"But otherwise?"

"When it shallows and they fill their lungs as full as possible," John waited for his hand to rise as Anna demonstrated, "It means they're storing energy."

"How do you know this?"

"I'm a rancher. I've practiced animal husbandry and I've visited more than a few places where there are woman who sell this kind of experience."

"Did you…" Anna lowered her eyes, shaking her head as if it could erase the question. "Never mind."

"No." Anna lifted her head to see John's straight face. "I didn't want the kind of fake affection one gets from a woman paid for the use of her body the way I'd pay for a bathhouse."

"It's not that I'd…" Anna shut her eyes, trying to find the words she needed but knew she might never find. "I just…"

"You're trying to understand."

"Yes." He kissed over her fingers and Anna sighed in relief that he could comprehend what she wanted when she could not even put words to it.

"We're all trying to understand." John used her hands to guide her now. "I'm sure you've had basic anatomy."

"Of course."

"Then I won't have to take too much time explaining your breasts." John teased and Anna attempted to swat him away but he kept a tight grip on her hand as he guided it over her skin. "But they're sensitive and respond to your arousal. As evidence by this."

He kissed at one of her breasts, near her nipple, and Anna shivered. "See?"

"Why?"

"I don't really know but I do hope they find out so one day I can do even more with it." John led her lower. "Then you have your clit."

Anna tried to bite back the hiss that left her when her fingers, intertwined with his, reached the destination. John waited until the stiff muscles in her body relaxed. "These nerves are very sensitive and if a man knows what he's doing he'll use that to his advantage."

"How?" Anna tried to direct her eyes but she wanted nothing more than to close them and lose herself in his explanation while he took his journey over her body.

"If he wants a child then his chances improve if the woman climaxes."

"Climaxes?"

"It's what happens when you…" John frowned, "The feeling you get when your body loses itself and you feel overwhelming pleasure."

"And that's good?"

"Exceedingly so." John laid back. "Most men don't care about whether or not a woman climaxes since it takes more effort for women than men."

"Why?"

"I don't know." John shrugged, "I guess the simple biology is that men have a very obvious climax and women don't."

"Then," Anna scooted closer to him, forcing herself to finally take in the long length of his prostrate body. "What about you?"

"We're not finished with you." John tried to push her back but Anna put a determined hand to his shoulder and kept him still.

"Everything else I already know since I became a woman in the eyes of nature." Anna took his hand. "I want to know more about you."

John swallowed and then guided her hand lower. "There are similar erogenous areas on a man."

"Where?" Anna brought her body right to his side, her knees touching his side. "Show me."

John held her gaze but did not speak as he guided her hands to his head. Her fingers whispered through his hair and he signaled where she could hold him tighter. Then her small, thin fingers slid over his skin to his chest. There he stopped her, allowing for exploration with minute guidance on where and how to touch him.

With each barely muffled groan or surprised grunt, Anna grew bolder in her touches. Her eyes occasionally flicked toward what lay between his legs but she only had the anatomical definition for it and she wanted this to be personal, not medical. So she let her hands wend their slow and determined way there.

When she graced over his hips, John bucked slightly and Anna shifted to straddle his legs. There was a moment she paused, considering the impropriety of the whole event, but when she saw his pupils were dilated and his breathing shallow she took comfort and continued.

"And this?"

"I hope you know what it's called."

"I know how doctors call it and I believe I once heard a rather crude word for it but I want to know how you refer to it."

John coughed, "I don't have a name for it or anything."

"No," Anna wanted to bury her head in shame at what she considered the grossest ignorance. "I know it's called a phallus or a penis. I know men in bars or seedier train carriage call it a cock but I don't want to use those words."

"Then don't call it anything." John soothed, "It's not important."

"But I want to know how to tell you if I…" Now Anna did shut her eyes. No matter how uninhibited she wanted to feel there was no delicate way to say this and she had to get it out as quickly as she could. "How do I tell you if I want it inside me?"

"Just like that."

"And if I want to…" Anna risked a finger scraping over his skin, "Touch it?"

"Please." John's breathing grew louder now and Anna placed a tentative hand on him. He jumped in her grip and she released immediately. But when John's hand covered hers he returned her grip there. "It's just an organ, like any other."

Anna grabbed his wrist with her other hand and they stared at one another. "Teach me?"

His hand guided hers slowly in her exploration of him. From how to grip or squeeze or release to how to use her dexterity to her advantage while he explained those terms she studied in books but no one explained before. Head to base and then the sack she found almost as delicate as she was for when she experimented with touching it John's head hit the bed hard enough to see stars.

But he stopped her and Anna froze in her confusion. "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry I-"

Shaking his head Jon sat up. "It's just… While women can go from one climax to the next without worry, men are not so lucky."

"Sounds more like a curse than luck."

"Only for the lazy man or the woman who's never been given that kind of pleasure." John kissed Anna's lips, "Men need time to rest but if you waste it then…"

"Would it be a waste?"

"If I want to be inside you then yes."

Anna swallowed, trying to suppress the societal response to blush and turn away from frank crudity. But the look in John's eyes was too sincere to be anything but genuine in his emotions and Anna shifted to lay on her back. John's hands at her arms stopped her and Anna frowned.

"Isn't that how-"

"There are other ways." John urged her forward, with gentle tugs.

Anna's limbs followed his urging with sluggish responses born of nerves. But when John sat her on his lap, his ready member just behind her and burning along the crease of her ass, Anna shivered. John placed his hands gently on her hips and helped her raise up on her knees.

"You know how to ride a horse Anna."

"Yes but I don't-"

"It's the same principle." John put a hand between her legs and Anna clutched at his shoulders to give herself the support she needed when John teased and touched all the places he named for her. "You'll just sink down and then ride me."

"I can't." She gasped, scrunching her eyes closed to gasp and whimper at his fingers opening her again.

"You can." His voice came to her ear as he lowered her with gentle nudges to her legs. "We'll move slowly."

Anna felt the head push into her, a sensation she knew she could grow used the more they sought one another like this, and then held her breath as he pressed in farther. John stopped, the hand from her hip moving to massage over her back while his lips left their kisses over her breasts and chest. He sought those places that had her shuddering in pleasure and relaxing again as he continued to press into her.

When she sat fully on him, Anna dug her nails into John's side and rested her head on his shoulder. John's hand still moved over her back, holding her close a moment more. Then his hand went to her shoulder and pressed her to sit straighter as he laid back. Anna's eyes flew open at the sensation of him buried as deeply inside her as he could possibly go.

Her fingers trembled but John took them in his grip and he held them carefully. "Slowly. We're going to move ever-so-slowly. Like when you rode a horse for the first time."

And off they went. Anna tried to mimic his earlier moves, when he would press inside her and slide out but the burn in her thighs stopped her. A pause and a gentle press at her hip let John lead her to other motions. The rolling movement of a cantering horse and then the brisk bouncing, with knees tightened almost bruisingly at his sides, of a gallop. Each motion giving Anna the confidence she needed as his hands tried to hold her in place.

However, nothing tightened his grip faster than Anna stopping. Now it was John's turn to widen his eyes. Anna grinned at him, relishing the shadows over her with the fire at her back, and leaned down toward his ear.

"Slowly. We're going slowly now."

She rolled, rocked back and forth at a torturously slow pace that left John gasping for air. His hips bucked into her and the tension in his jaw popped the muscles in his neck but they kept their pace slow. And when she rose and fell again, taking the respite to build up her energy, John gave in.

Anna recognized it now. Had a word for it. And wanted more of it.

But when John's fingers worked over her she had no more thought to function. She rode him as far as she could before crumpling to the peak of pleasure that sent her into his waiting arms. The fade of the feeling left her exhausted and soon she fell asleep, wrapped in his hold, and sitting on the edge of a greater unknown.