Dear Archer,

You have the most stupid sister in this world. You wanna know why? I'll tell you why: This morning, I didn't wake up beside Derek. I woke up beside an empty space.

Read the note Derek wrote. It was stuck to the fridge with a magnet shaped like a happy face, cutest thing in the world. Of course, if I was second guessing my decision, when I saw it, I didn't anymore. And while I was reading the note, Mark's face just vanished from my hand.

It's this note I clipped to the letter.

"Good morning, love!

You must've just woken up. I left this note on the fridge to let you know why you didn't wake up by your side. I went to take a walk and catch the first hours of the day. Maybe in a few days, you'll be able to join me! But, today I just wanted to let you sleep in. You look so beautiful when you're asleep. So serene, so peaceful… I can't believe I traded that for Meredith Grey.

Don't worry, I already called Richard and took the day off from the hospital. Anyhow, I made us breakfast before I left. It's trout. I know you hate trout, but I just thought it would remind you of old times, huh? Bring a smile to that beautiful face of yours.

See you in a few hours,

Derek 3"

Could he sound any more devoted? I felt so touched by this that I left the "house" (the stupid trailer), still with my pyjamas on, and started wandering around that weird forest that surrounds the place I'm living right now. I did have a smile on that beautiful face of mine.

I walked around for like five minutes and I heard Derek's voice. I thought he was talking to himself. Those were his exact words:

"When I met Addison, I was sure she was the love of my life. And then, I let her go, and I felt like crap. But, now, so many things have happened, and I'm regretting everything I said before. I was so wrong. I was wrong all this time…" I just stood there and listened. He went on and on.
"I wish I could take back everything that I did, you know? I wish I could go back to everything the way it was before. I feel like this is my fault, somehow." I was about to walk in and tell him that it was not his fault when I heard that skanky, squeaky, irritating voice hitting me right in the face.

"Don't worry, Derek. You're still my McDreamy."

"You don't get it, Mer. She chose me! She chose me over Mark one more time. She's trying, Mer. I can't pretend she is not." I wanted to go interrupt them, Archer, I really did. But, I held it in.

"I know, I know… But, you and I, we're meant to be!" That when she stopped talking for a while. I knew it was time to come in and say something. When I walked towards them, I found him kissing her, very firm and passionately.

"What is all this?" I yelled. Derek released Meredith with a startled spasm.

"Addison, I can explain."

"Why don't you let me explain it: You're turning into Mark! Worse, you're turning into me!"

"How's turning into you worse than turning into Mark?" I took a deep breath and said:

"Because Mark cheats. And he cheats and he cheats. But, no one ever doubts that he is a good man. I never doubted that he is a good man. Sure, he's made many mistakes, but Derek, so have I! And so have you! But, when I cheated, you couldn't even look at me! I came down to Seattle and humiliated myself-"

"Humiliated yourself wearing Prada and accusing me of 'screwing' your husband-" Meredith interrupted, making quotation marks with her fingers. I cut her off.

"Stay out of this, this doesn't concern you!"

"Don't you dare yell at Meredith!"

"I'm sorry, Meredith, I'm just in a lot of distress right now." I lowered my voice, but, deep down, I wanted to kill her. "Derek, I humiliated myself. I came down here to beg you to take me back. But, you had left me for a woman 10 years and two doctorates younger than me!" I looked at Meredith. "Again, no offense intended."

"Oh, none taken." She said, in a very weird tone.

"But, Derek, all you did was hurt me and treat me like shit all time! I cried every night beside you in our bed and you didn't give a horse's ass to what I was feeling! Makes you wonder, huh? Am I Satan here? Did you not get the image of Mark and me out of your head as soon as you got to Seattle? I cheated on you once and that was the only time in our entire marriage where I actually felt wanted. You made me suffer the slow pain of being with someone and loving someone who hates you and wants to make sure you never forget it! And I caused this by cheating on you!" Derek stared at me, listening to my monologue. "So, you know now, Derek. It's worse being me than being Mark. Because I cheated on you, and it was so horrible that not even a year of you hurting me back kept you from cheating on me with the 12-year-old again. And Mark cheated on me. But, I'm gonna go see him right now."

And I'm in a taxi cab right now. Waiting for whatever is gonna happen to me.

Wish me luck, Archer. Not that I need – or deserve – it.

From your sister,

Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery.

HeHe