AN: I'm back from my trip which was amazingly refreshing! It included swimming, drinking, chatting up pretty ladies, camping, and dancing! everyone should just go on road trips its absolutely brilliant! xD But anyways back to the story! This chapter has angst, with some much needed fluff. Oh! and there's a conspiracy in the making, see if you can catch it ;) This is Santana's take on her days without Brittany. Next Chapter has some more revelations and Brittany finally goes back to school! Education is important… lol. Song of the chapter is 'Still In Love (Kissing You)' by Beyonce. This song fit so wonderfully so you should listen to it :D
Disclaimer: This is an AU story. I sadly don't own Glee or their characters, but I do own 'this' world I created and Gage! Gage is all mine =] This is Rated M for language, some serious mind fucking, and a series of steamy lady sexy times, but there is an epic story line in the making! So Enjoy! ;)
Ch. 7b Still In Love (Kissing You)
Santana:
When I woke up the first day without Brittany I nearly went on a frantic search for her, but Quinn's scent in my home squashed my hysteria and replaced it with heartache. I suddenly felt absolute misery and pulled myself to my feet. I made it my business to be exceptionally quiet so Quinn wouldn't pester me. I wanted to brood and drown in my own depression, so I headed to my music studio.
At first I was going to leave but my piano called to me in a way I couldn't ignore. A song I always hated came to me, as I sat down on the bench in front of the piano. I lightly tapped the keys trying to remember the right chords but after a couple minutes I felt like the melody was right.
I thought of how yesterday was starting off so great as I sang the first line of the song.
I'm so in love...
I'm still in love.
Brittany's beautiful face appeared in my thoughts and I felt something pull my heart strings painfully.
I've never been in love quite before until I saw your face.
And watching stars without you
My soul cries...
For the first time ever I could relate to the song and it hurt but I kept singing.
My hething heart... is full of pain...
When we're apart
the aching...I'm... kissing you ohh...
I... I'm kissing you
Oh!
I started playing the keys faster, and the melody picked up with my raising emotion.
You're my father
You're my soldier
You're protect me, girl you save me
You're my best friend
You're my husband
You are my doctor, counselor, provider, professor, my everything
I felt tears prickle behind my clenched eyes I sang.
And I love you, I love you, I love you, yes I love you
I need you, I need you, I need you, I can't live without you
I trust you, I trust you, I trust you, with every once of me
Just teach me, girl teach me, just take me
I opened my eyes and let the tears stream down my cheeks as I belted out the last part I could remember.
When we make love I can feel all your spirits deep inside of me!
Baby you're so pure…
My fingers trembled making me unable to play anymore. I let my head drop and for the first time in all my existence, I let warm tears stream freely down my face for a human...
'I want you back...'
***Two Weeks Later***
It had been two weeks, two miserably long weeks. I laid in bed, curled up in fetal position.
I have rarely moved from my spot trying to stay sane on the faint scent of Brittany's skin on my pillows. I'm in too much physical and mental pain to move anyways. I haven't eaten since Brittany left so I'm just withering away painfully on the bed. Quinn hasn't come by since I yelled at her for ruining whatever Brittany and I shared here. I know shes looking out for me but I just don't have enough energy to feel guilty, all I can do is miss Brittany.
Quinn does have the energy to be guilty though since she sent Sam to come check up on me when I ignored her calls. He comes and visits to make sure I at least take a shower; then leaves when he's tired of looking into my dull brown eyes that is slowly losing its color and spark. I told him instead of wasting his time watching me he can be doing something actually productive and wanted... like hmm I don't know protecting Brittany! and not hovering over me like I'm a sickly child. Though I must say I felt like one.
And to make matters worse my abuela kept calling me to attend to some stupid mission for her, but I couldn't keep my resent for her out of my voice, so I just didn't answer. It was her stupid rule that had me in this damn predicament in the first place.
Matt was sent over to see how I was doing and offered to report on Brittany's well being and I outright refused his presence. There was no need to put salt in fresh wounds, but apparently he didn't care and he reported that she was just as depressed as I was.
I wont lie, it did give me some sort of comfort. If she was miserable that meant I wasn't suffering alone...
I mean have you ever found what you always wanted in a person then have them ripped away?
If I would've known this is how I would feel, I think I'd pick to stay with Brittany and say screw the elders! ...but that's a lie. I love her and wouldn't let those rotten geezers get their claws into her.
I heard my door open and didn't bother to look up.
"I thought I told you not to report on Brittany mutt", I stated more tired then agitated.
"Yeah, see that's the problem. I have nothing to report because Sam says she's missing", Matt stated calm.
In that moment, with those words spoken I was back in action, my strength came back; albeit little of it, and I was already heading out the hallway to my garage.
"Werewolves can't do anything right", I yelled.
Matt smiled.
I growl angrily as I put my car into reverse and speed out of my garage. The words "She's missing", still replaying in my head.
"I fucking tell the dumb dog to watch Brittany, but he can't even do that!", I snarl.
I look towards the clock in the dashboard and read that its two in the morning.
'Why are you out so late Brittany?!', I think frantically.
My phone rings and I pick up quickly.
"Hello ?", the male voice states.
"Gage this is not a great time, if my abuela sent you to call me, tell her I've died and to let me rest in God damn peace! I'm busy! Brittany is missing right now because your horrible lapdog can't even do his job!", I rush.
"I don't work for your grandma anymore princess, so be calm... I just talked to Brittany anyway. I sent her on her way hours ago", Gage spoke calmly.
"What!? Where is she?!", I question. My thoughts are solely focused on her.
"She went to the beach", Gage provided then hung up.
I raked my brain for any beaches that were near. I kept coming up with a blank. Then I remembered the first day I saw Brittany.
:Flash Back:
I was bored and I was searching for this weeks prey when I walked pass a beach. The pier near the beach was old, and caution tape surrounded the perimeter.
'I wonder if some idiot human jumped off the pier and died', I thought amused but an intoxicating smell caught my senses.
I turned my head and saw an amazingly beautiful blonde haired girl I'd ever set my brown eyes on. She was on the other side of the street and was listening to her iPod as she walked leisurely into a neighborhood. Her scent was very appealing, and she had something I never in all my years ever smelled before. Meaning her essence would be magnificent when I tore it out of her. I grinned evilly thinking she was my new prey.
After that day I would follow that blonde-headed girl, she was my new obsession, and no other girl had such an enticing scent.She would go swimming every morning at the beach, and spend hours in the water before heading back home. Then other days I'd see her in a red cheerleading outfit that read 'McKinley High Cheerios'.Once finding out her schedule and whereabouts I quickly enrolled to her school, making sure I was in her first class. At first I wanted to take her soul and be on my way but when I finally touched her I just wanted to keep her all to myself.
:Flash Back End:
I blinked as I pulled myself out of my reverie and busted an illegal U-turn in the intersection.
'She has to be at that beach… why didn't I think of that place sooner. Let's see if my memory is still good', I thought.
It took fifteen minutes but I was soon walking in sand at an abandoned beach. With my excellent eyesight if I do say so myself, I was able to locate Brittany sitting hunched over in the sand. I quietly walked over to her; even though I doubt if I stomped my way over to her she still wouldn't have heard me, since she was so deep in her thoughts. I sat down and wrapped my arms around her waist; smiling when she didn't flinch and simply relaxed into my body.
"Hey stranger", I whispered into her ear and she shivered.
"What are you doing here ?", I heard her ask.
My heart clenched at how broken she sounded. I breathed in her heavenly scent and kissed her neck, trying to sooth her inner turmoil.
"I just couldn't keep away anymore. You are the best thing that has ever been mine", I confessed, trying to convey how much she mattered.
She turned in my embrace and caught me by surprise when she kissed my lips with force, but the surprise didn't last long. I kissed her back passionately as the two weeks of starvation made itself known. I gripped her cheeks to keep her lips molded to mine but oxygen was becoming an issue, and so was my control. I groaned as I felt myself slipping so I broke the kiss and I closed my eyes trying to suppress my growing hunger. I knew she was looking at me so I opened my eyes, and heard her gasp. I could only imagine how my eyes blazed like the sun or how I was staring down at her with a predatory look. I was hungry, but I forced myself not to make a move and ravage her even though I desperately wanted too.
"Didn't you...you know...eat", I hear her ask and I just shake my head in negative.
"Why?", She wondered.
"If I can't have you I don't want nobody baby", I answered and Brittany just looked away bashfully.
I hear her thoughts echo in my mind and I grin at her because I don't know if she'll ever understand that there's no other person I could ever have in this world who could make me feel like she does. There's no replacement or anything that could measure up to her, and I tried to explain all that to her with one look. I wasn't good with words, I couldn't just say 'I love you' because I'm a coward…
I watch as her face heats up and I chuckle; lifting her face up so I could look at her. She smiles at me shyly and links our hands together.
I take the time to observe her as she bashfully looks away. She looks more content and I'm happy to be the reason. Her face changes from a range of expressions but the one that stays permanent is the look of guilt; which confuses me. I furrow my brow in wonder.
Right before I can seep into her thoughts and hear what shes thinking, she says something that blows up my brain, and all my rational thoughts are being drowned in the sea of my massive sex drive.
"Well... if you're still being so selective with your food choice I guess you can eat me", she states mischievously.
I no longer have control of my actions, so I smirk at her possessively and press her down into the sand. I make quick work of her pants and underwear, and kiss down her stomach. She inhales deeply as I lick her inner thighs. I want nothing more then to just dive forward into her core and just take her savagely but I calm myself. I bring my mouth towards her center and lick her folds softly. She groans and clenches her fist in my hair. I smirk as she bucks her hips, urging me to continue, so I dart my tongue inside her. Her hips shoot up, and she grinds against my face, as I plunge my tongue in out of her. Making sure my mouth is closed around her clit between shoving my tongue inside her. My tongue rubs against the spongy part of her inner walls and she starts literally humping my face harder and I honestly don't mind that she's riding my face because its totally hot. I let her have her dirty way with me, and everything is right again.
:Hours Later:
She's currently laying comatose on the sand. Her head rests on my lap, with a lazy smile adorning her face, which my face most likely mirrors. We sit there in silence for awhile and when the post orgasmic haze fades, I can nearly taste the anxiety pouring off the blonde that lays on me.
"I'm ninety five percent sure I'm some weird mutant baby that my dad found in the woods, and my mom isn't even my mom", she starts out of the blue.
I look down at her bewildered but her eyes are sad and filled with turmoil. I instantly feel a wave of unrelenting protectiveness overwhelm me. I lean down and kiss her lips.
'Have to fix this', I think.
"Doesn't matter. You could be as blue as Mystique from X-men and I'd still lo- like to keep you", I declare and she let's a small smile appear upon her face."Come on let's get you home", I state as I sit her up.
'Crap I hope she didn't notice that slip', I think in horror.
I locate her panties and shorts and pull them up. Cringing at the thought of all the sand I'm going to have everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Ahem...
"I don't really have a home", she says morosely and my eyes focus back on her and soften.
"Sure you do Britt! Its with me, I'll sleep over. It's time I've seen your room and met the parentals", I joke as I pick her up bridal style and head towards my car. She giggles and I beam at her.
'My abuela can kiss it and her rules be damned. I can't ever leave Britt again, I think to myself as I stroke a stray strand of hair out of her face. She makes me complete.
I seat Brittany inside my car, then rush to the other side, and get in. I start the car up and head to 'our' home; which is wherever she is with me. She's my home.
'It feels good to say our', I think happily to myself.
We sneak back into Brittany's house our pinkies never detangling from each other. She starts to ridiculously tiptoe up the stairs and I laugh loudly. Her head whips back to me and she whisper shouts for me to be quiet.
"Britt your parents are dead to the world, I can hear their deep breathing", I state with a roll of my eyes.
"What!?", she whispers alarmed.
I roll my eyes again, tapping my ears.
"I have super hearing, not human remember", I explain.
It dawns on Brittany and I shake my head because really how can she forget.
Though I try to reassure her over and over again that her parents are very much asleep, Brittany still insists on us tiptoeing across the hall and into her room. Once inside she slowly closes and locks the door.
I look around in wonder, Brittany's scent is much stronger here and it causes a little twinge of hunger to nag at me, but I ignore it.
Brittany's room is everything that I thought it would be but not at the same time. Like how her walls are pink but are littered with rock band posters next to rainbows and unicorn drawings. She's like a big oxymoron.
I let her show me around and laugh quietly at the little stories she tells as she points at all her little knick knacks she keeps on her dresser. I sit on her bed and just listen to her speak.
'I love her', I think dreamily.
'Tell her that', Snixx dares.
I look up to the ceiling thinking really hard. There are a lot of pros and cons that come with admitting that...
'Its not that easy...', I tell myself and I hear a gruff scoff.
'Idiot'.
I narrow my eyes but there's no other insult forthcoming. I look back to my blonde whose still happily going on and on about something. She eventually finishes whatever story she was talking about and jumps on the bed to lay next to me. I cant help but smile at her childishness because it's just so cute. I drag her into my arms and kiss her forehead. I feel her smile against my chin and I beam. We just lay down in the slight darkness silently for a long time before I hear her breathing start to slow.
'There's school in the morning, time for me to go', I think.
And I aim to move but she instantly tenses, waking up slightly. She tightens her hold on me and I lift an eyebrow in question. Her eyes open blearily to give me a frantic look before she glances away. I furrow my brows in confusion but hold her hands. She sighs in a relieved manner.
"What's wrong Brittany?", I question as she holds my hand tight.
"I just missed you a lot and I just don't want to close my eyes and you disappear... ugh it's stupid... it was only two weeks", she mumbles.
I scoot closer so my face is level with her and bring her chin up so she can look at me. I hate hearing her sound so sad, especially when I'm the cause of it, so I make a quick decision to cheer her up. I inhaled her scent before my mouth began moving on it's own.
I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are... Here
Her eyebrows pinched together as she tried to recognize the song I was singing, but after some thought I guess she got it because she was beaming sleepily at me. Her face was adorable and I almost got sidetracked by her cuteness but I managed to continue.
Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here…
She watched me intently, her blue eyes glimmering with an emotion I've never seen someone direct towards me. I gulped and continued.
Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms…
I trailed off at the intense look Brittany was sending me at this point and I looked away. Not even a second later though, Brittany's warm hand finds its way onto my cheek and brings my attention back to her.
"Finish San", she pleads quietly and I nod my head.
She aims another deep look in my direction that makes my heart stutters in my chest and I clear my throat to sing again.
I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here…
'Fuck! I'm in trouble...', I think as she watches me.