A.N: Hello all! I'm here, don't worry. I have been having a really bad week and have been feeling extremely unmotivated lately, but i just love this story so much I try to get it out as quick as possible! :D This chapter is slightly more emotional then i was planning to go for, but you know how it is when you keep writing. Please review, my last chapter had 14!!! That's the most any of my stories have ever gotten for one chapter! Make me happy and make it like 20??? I will be so ecstatic i may post two or three more chapters this week! ~Lauren
Chapter Nine
Our game of "truth" continued on for the next hour and a half or so. During which Esme brought us popcorn, chips, sodas, and just about everything else we would need in order to survive the night.
The game, although horrifically embarrassing on my part, as proven by the seemingly permanent red tinge to my pale face, proved to be rather interesting for myself. I learned a lot about each member of the Cullen-Hale group.
Alice, for instance, had a biological sister whom she was separated with sometime shortly after her fourth birthday. Cynthia. Alice doesn't remember her much, but she hopes to reconnect with her someday.
Jasper aspires to someday join the military, following in his father's footsteps, who is currently a captain in the United States Naval force.
Emmett wasn't asked very many questions, but he wasn't the least bit afraid to share the more embarrassing anecdotes about his siblings, causing both Edward and Alice to blush. Was that even possible?
I found myself constantly smiling as each member of the group took their turn to ask questions, most of which were directed at myself. Nothing too personal, Alice, Edward, and Rosalie knew that I wasn't up for anything too big just now.
"Do you have any siblings, half/step?" Jasper asked when it came to be his turn. I shook my head.
"Nope. I'm an only child." I heard Emmett whisper a not-so-discreet lucky underneath his breathe, causing Alice to chuck a pillow at his head.
"Not funny." Alice and Edward said on cue. It was refreshing to observe the relationship between the Cullen siblings. Alice and Emmett always seemed to be the first to argue, Emmett more then once standing his full height in order to instill some sort of intimidation on his tiny sister, but she was always right there with a perfectly manicured finger to poke into his chest. Edward played the more responsible role of moderator between the two, but wasn't afraid to dish anything out at Alice or take a few playful swings at Emmett.
"You guys are the lucky ones," I assured, crossing my legs Indian style and resting a palm on both knees.
They both laughed simultaneously. Sayings of yea right and sure, Bella soon followed my comment.
"I'm serious, I would love an older brother or little sister!" I elbowed Alice in her side and she smiled at my gesture.
"Oh yea, younger sisters are the best." Jasper chuckled, pulling at Rose's long golden hair. She stuck her tongue out at him and shoved his hand away.
"48 seconds Jasper. You beat me by 48 seconds!" She stated, crossing her arms defiantly.
"And don't you forget it!"
"Oh come on Rosalie, you can't blame Jasper for being born first." I pointed out, giggling at her defiant features.
"Yea, besides Rose was probably just fixing her hair," Edward teased. Rosalie looked livid, and for a moment it looked almost as if she would tackle him.
"You just be happy you have a baby in your lap, mister." She pointed toward Andy's sleeping form, still draped against Edward's chest.
"Thanks buddy." He whispered playfully to his tiny son, ruffling his hair gently.
The game continued much the same and the rain outside eventually let up enough so that the phone lines were back in use. It was nearly eleven now, and I quickly made a phone call to my father to let him know that I was safe.
"Hello? Bella, is that you?!" Charlie's voice seemed so panicked and I quickly responded, assuring him that I was safe.
"I'm fine dad, I'm still at Alice's house." I heard him sigh. I hadn't really mentioned to him quite yet about the job that Alice had offered me. I wasn't sure what he would think of me accepting the job without his approval, and I wasn't about to find out over the phone.
"As long as you're safe," He commented.
"Of course. Would it be alright if I stayed here tonight?" Charlie agreed, with minor reluctance, the option would be best, and we soon hung up with a parting 'goodbye'.
Esme sent me back down to the basement, afraid that the rain may start up once more and handed me an armful of pillows and blankets.
"Don't stay up too late kids," she warned.
"We won't," I promised with a smile, walking carefully down the stairs. I plopped down in front of the fireplace once back in the basement, throwing each member of the group a pillow and a blanket.
I pulled the pillow into my lap, hugging it softly as I watched the others set up their own beds. Alice had offered me her bed upstairs, but Esme had protested that the storm might soon start again and that we should all keep each other company down here.
It wasn't long after all was set up that Alice threw me a t-shirt and some sweatpants.
"You can borrow some of Rose's clothes tomorrow. She always keeps two drawers full in my room, and you two are about the same size. Rose smiled in acceptance of her proposal, her bright blue eyes glistening in the soft firelight.
"Thanks," I said, smiling slightly. It had been so long since I had felt this comfortable, this happy. This house, these people…they brought about a strange reaction in me, not uncomfortable, just…different somehow.
"Well I don't know about you all, but I'm about to crash. Night!" I heard Jasper state, as he laid himself down pulling Alice with him. She giggled, bidding her goodnight.
Emmett and Rose mimicked their actions, and they took to the opposite corner of their room with a mountain of pillows and a few blankets.
"Night!" They called in unison.
"Good night." I said, leaning my head back up against the back of the couch. I pulled my old copy of Wuthering Heights out of my book bag, the movement causing all my papers of previous stopping points to jostle, and some to fall about the floor. I opened the pages carefully, considering which chapter I should read tonight before I go to bed.
It had become a tradition of mine since the accident. Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights was a favorite novel that I shared often with my mother. Something we would talk about constantly. She loved the obviously unstable relationship between Catherine and Heathcliff, and I adored her whole attitude to such a classic piece of literature.
"Now, Bella." She would often say once we got into one of our book rants.
"One day, soon, very soon, you will meet a smart, beautiful, stubborn, and all together misunderstood boy and you will fall hopelessly in love with him." I would pretend to swoon and she would just continue with a swat of her hand.
"Shush, I'm not done," she would chastise, dancing about the house and bidding me to follow her.
"He will be the Heathcliff to your Catherine, the Gatsby to your Daisy, the Romeo to your Juliet."
It wasn't hard for me to remember her this way. Happy, carefree...just…my mom. It made it easier, the pain more a dull throb than a sharp stab.
I pulled the pages apart to one of my favorite passages, reading the text over.
"I don't think we read Bronte until next quarter." I jumped at the sound of the familiar voice. My hand flew to cover my rapidly beating heart, and in my moment of surprise I managed to drop my book to the floor my multiple page markers scattering further about the room.
"Sorry," Edward whispered, moving about to pick up the bits of colored paper. I helped him, gathering them into my lap and shoving them back into their places amongst the impressive writing.
"It's fine. I was just reading, not for school." He chuckled, handing me the last of the fallen markers.
"I remember when I used to do that." He whispered to himself, his admission making me blush. I'm sure his life had changed so much with the addition of his son into his hectic school and home lives. It never occurred to me that he lost the little things too, like reading or watching television.
"I'm sorry, Edward," I admitted, resting a hand on his strong shoulder. He tensed at my touch, and I immediately removed my palm.
"Sorry." I blushed again, gripping tighter to my book, keeping my hands occupied.
"No problem." There was a bit of an awkward pause, just the sounds of the crackling fireplace only feet beyond our sitting place. I took a moment to study his soft features, his burnt orange locks that fell in loose tendrils across his pale skin. His forest green eyes and the curved set of his spine as he sat curled into himself on the floor.
His usually intimidating façade seemed to have disappeared with the softer light; maybe him being in a comfortable environment had also eased his stress somewhat.
"I love this time of night," he whispered, turning his gaze away from mine and toward the plush carpeting.
"Me too. It's calm, almost a pause." He nodded, his fingers dancing against the smooth surface of his forearms.
"Exactly. It helps me think." He admitted, reaching across for my book. He opened to the passage I had just read and whispered it quietly to himself, his voice a gentle murmur in the still basement.
"That, however, which you may suppose the most potent to arrest my imagination is actually the least, for what is not connected with her to me? And what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped on the flags! In every cloud, in every tree—filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day, I am surrounded with her image! The most ordinary faces of men and women—my own features—mock me with a resemblance. The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her!"
He closed the book and raised his eyes to my face. "Why this passage?" He asked, his eyes burning with unasked questions.
I stuttered in my effort to form a thought. His curious gaze had caught me slightly off guard and I didn't quite know where to begin.
"Oh…it's…its kind of silly actually," I admitted, pulling at my fingers, contorting them in an attempt to avoid his intense stare.
"Tell me." His voice was thick with emotion, causing me to lift my head in alarm. He was less then a foot, mere inches from my face and I felt all the wind immediately rush out of my body.
"Well, it's just the idea of the whole passage. Heathcliff is all but admitting to Nelly that the stolen love of his life still haunts his every thought. His desire to be with her clouds his mind even after she has passed. It's just a taste of the true emotional connection between himself and Catherine. It's an appealing thought, that someone would think so highly of you. To be loved with that kind of devotion, it's just…desirable I guess." He continued to stare, mindlessly now. His eyes looking but not seeing, his mind distant.
I quickly analyzed the passage once more, attempting to see it from Edward's perspective.
"I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped on the flags! In every cloud, in every tree—filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day, I am surrounded with her image!"
The realization hit me then.
Addie.
"Addie." I whispered the name to myself, the sound of the word and Edward's immediate reaction further confirming my prediction.
"Please don't," he asked curtly pushing his strong frame away from me.
"She was your Catherine." My mouth continued to voice my thoughts and I could see Edward tense all the more with each mention of her life.
"Bella." With blazing and tear laden eyes he lifted himself away from my seated form and moved to the opposite end of the room where Andy slept soundly. I heard the muted thud of his body resting against the wall and the muffled sobs that further wracked his body.
I felt the strong urge to go after him, to soothe him. But I feared that my realization might have hurt whatever friendship had been to form between the two of us.
"I'm sorry." I stated softly, hoping her would be able to hear the sincerity in my words, or at least, hear me.
I shoved Wuthering Heights back into my bag with a soft slam of the worn out binding and shoved the offending object away from me. I pulled the single blanket I harbored for the night up to the base of my chin and with a guilt filled heart and moist, salty cheeks, fell asleep, the last images of the effervescent firelight more pronounced in my nearly unconscious state.
--
I fell into a deep dreamless sleep, having forced myself to stay up until Edward fell asleep. I tried countless times to will myself to apologize, to say something to lift him from his sorrow filled mood.
To say anything to him.
I didn't know how much longer I could take his silent tears. In the soft flickers of the firelight I watched as he fought with himself to move forward, keeping a firm hold on Andy as his tears fell.
The worst part of the whole situation was knowing that I had done this to him. My over zealous mind and un-filtered mouth let that one name slip. And even more upsetting, I knew exactly how he was feeling. He wasn't the only one that had recently lost someone, I had to. I had triggered the reminder, caused his pain. I deserved so much more then just the silent treatment that he was giving me.
He loved her. So so much. I felt an immense amount of guilt grip at my heartstrings, constricting my emotions painfully. A strange mix of self-disgust, contrition, and jealousy. Yes, jealousy. Edward was that someone that my mom had always talked about. My perfect other half, the one that's smart and beautiful and tortured beyond belief. Was it fair that I had to find him so hurt and broken, that I couldn't have met him sooner? Before Addie?
I immediately reprimanded myself. Stop being so damn selfish Bella! I felt the sting of tears prick the lids of my eyes and I threw the covers away from my body in an angry frenzy.
I could hear voices from up the stairwell and in a need to get out of the basement and away from the previous night's events I hastily ascended the stairs.
"Hey Bella!" Alice's familiar trill tore me from the remaining fragments of my frantic thoughts as her arms wrapped around my torso.
"Morning." I answered softly, not trusting my voice in such an emotional state.
"Hungry?" I heard Jasper's soft foot falls as he came up behind Alice. I shook my head, just asking for a glass of water.
"Sure." He walked back to the kitchen, reaching into the cabinets for a glass.
"Ice?" I nodded, letting Alice lead me to a bar stool at the island. Rose gave me a small smile as I took my seat, reaching for the cup from Jasper and thanking him.
"No problem." He assured me, patting my shoulder before going up to Emmett's room to change for school.
"What time is it?" I asked, wondering if I would have time to shower before we had to leave.
Alice twirled herself around, glancing at a clock on the far wall.
"6:45." We're going to leave in about a half hour. I sighed. I guess the shower will just have to wait.
"I set some clothes for you to wear on my bed, and put an extra tooth brush in the bathroom." Rosalie mentioned, standing from her place beside me.
"Oh, thanks." I answered, cradling my cheek to my palm. I was so tired.
"You sleep okay Bella? You seemed kinda restless last night. Did you know you talk in your sleep?" Emmett questioned, his tone mocking. I blushed a deep crimson, feeling the heat cover my entire face and neck, afraid that I may have voiced my worries for Edward well asleep.
"Yea." I whispered, completely horrified. "How bad was it?" I dropped my gaze to the black granite of the counter top, too embarrassed to look into his face.
"Not too bad, just kinda random. Once or twice I think you said 'stupid rain', 'hate rain'. It was kinda entertaining." He ruffled my hair, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
"You kept saying 'sad' over and over again for a while. And something about 'Catherine.'" Oh no.
"Oh." He just shrugged it off, but I could tell Alice saw right through me.
"Who's Catherine?" She asked, her eyes questioning and focused.
"Oh, umm…I was reading Wuthering Heights before bed last night. That might have been it." She nodded, but her penetrating gaze never left my face. I decided to change the subject.
"Where's Edward?" Emmett pointed to the basement door, and Alice just shrugged.
"He's probably still asleep. Doesn't take him that long to get ready. I should probably go wake him up soon. Andy's sill down there with him." I just nodded.
"I need to grab my bag from downstairs, I'll just wake him up." I proposed, already moving toward the basement door.
"Sure."
The truth is that I needed to find some way to apologize for last night. I may not be the first person he wants to see this morning, and there's no guarantee that he will even want to speak with me, but I have to try.
I quickly moved down the stairs, going over to my book bag first and putting my books back in a more organized fashion. I gripped the shoulder strap tightly, throwing it up around my torso as I walked over to the far side of the room where Edward slept soundly.
The daylight streamed softly through the open basement door, illuminating his pale features. His face seemed so serene, almost calm in the early morning light.
I whispered his name softly, making sure not to startle him.
"Edward?" I asked, kneeling down so he could hear me more clearly.
He breathed heavily, ignoring my comment to fall back asleep.
I gently placed my arm on his shoulder, shaking him slightly.
Still no movement.
I slid the backpack to the floor, leaning closer still to his body and pressing my fingers to his cheek.
"Edward, come on." I urged. He sighed, his warm breath caressing my cold hand.
I felt him stir beneath me and watched as he moved subconsciously to kiss my palm. I froze in shock at the action, not able to find the motive to pull away.
"Addie." He breathed. I felt him reach for my hand absent mindedly, and the hurt tears began to fall quickly down my face. I pulled my hand away as he sat up, grabbing my bag and nearly sprinting toward the stairs.
A/N: Big thanks to my beta and BFFL x0xDrumMajorx0x! I luv ya Mackie! :D