Keeps Gettin' Better

She's out of control. Completely uncontrollable, and utterly volatile. She does what she wants, and doesn't have any care whether you're able to handle it or not—if you can, that's fantastic; if you can't, suck it down anyhow. That's how she worked. It doesn't matter to her if her presence is welcome or unwelcome or even completely ignored. She does what she wanted to do, and there was no stopping her.

And somehow, she blinks her long dark lashes, and you forgive her for all the grief she caused. She pouts her full, painted lips and you suddenly realize that knowing her has taught you far more than the harm you believed she caused. All the stress and misfortune you think she causes you is just that—it's only in your mind, because really, she takes rein of your life and angles it in directions that aim only for the win.

I watch her everyday, and for her customers, she's something so totally out there, that they can't comprehend that she's a who, and not a what. But that's everyone's first opinion of her—she hardly seems human, and in a way, she isn't. She's timeless. She's perfect. You can't ever associate in your mind that she might be able to make something as trivial as a mistake. Because you think, it's impossible. She just can't.

At the same time, she frightens you. Yes, she herself intimidates—because of her presence, and partially because of the way she dresses herself like someone who shouldn't be let out into public. But that isn't why she frightens her customers—frightens me. Frightens everyone. It's because she's the truth. That's what she is.

She reveals all of your secrets and unveils all the lies you've ever spun for yourself—and even maybe, to yourself. Having your truth revealed to others is embarrassing in the least, humiliating at most. But having the truth you've hidden against yourself revealed is frightening. Because there's always a reason why you didn't want to face that truth—why you lied to yourself. And now, she can undo all of it and show you who and what you truly are.

That's frightening.

But most times, you don't get to know what it is exactly she's planning to do for you—or to you. You can't know, and you won't know until she decides to let you see because she's so…she doesn't lie…but…she distracts you. Everything she is…she's sex. When you see her every time and anytime—don't lie—that's what comes immediately to your mind. And she knows that. That's what she aims for. She knows humans inside and out, and she knows that sex to humans is what cat bait is to a fresh kitten.

She'll always seem sweet at first. Her voice has always been musical and soothing, and she entrances you into thinking that you're safe—that everything will turn out the way you hope it will. That she's here not to help you, but to make sure it goes happily for you. That everything will be easy and peaceful.

And once you're lulled like a sleepy baby—

She knocks you flat on you're back—into a cave of hungry lions and leaves you to fend for yourself. Sure, she'll come back to pick you up after however she thinks is adequate time. That is, well, if you're alive by then.

And if you are alive, alive and kicking enough to give her your opinion on her methods—which would probably involve an extremely…colorful vocabulary—she'll most likely just shove you out of the ring and into some dark abyss. She doesn't care what you have to say—what anyone has to say, and neither does she want to hear it. She's saved more than one, but that doesn't mean she hasn't played the part of the villain. In fact, sometimes I think she'd rather play the latter. She certainly seems to take more enthusiasm in it.

But that's the weird thing. At least, I think it's extremely strange. Once you meet her…once you know her…once you've talked to her…it's like your universe suddenly, abruptly, and scarily…shifts. It changes. Everything seems different, and you seem different. You know you're different. And…then…it's not necessarily all that awful. It's because she herself switches from dark to light so quickly—from Lilith to Gabriel. So rapidly that you blink and she's done.

Some days, she's everything that resides in your nightmares—she's the monster that goes bump in the night, she's the evil stepmother that locks you in a dark cellar. Some days, she'll wave her hand and watch the disastrous events of a perfect-seeming family come undone as the truth destroys them…and she'll smile. She'll glance at me, stroke my cheek, and make me go out into the rain to get her a brand new bottle of wine.

She'll be up to her tricks. But it's always only a matter of time until she reverts. It never lasts forever.

Because then, the very next day, she'll be saving the world again. She'll be your fairy godmother—mysteriously working in and out of your life. She's your guardian angel, always watching over you and making sure whoever harms you will be harmed in return. She'll snap her fingers and the families that warred against each other will become their own ruin, and the two people who they've kept apart will finally have a happy ever after. She'll look at me, and ask me if I need some rest because I look tired, and she doesn't need any more work done.

One moment she makes you want to pull your hair out. The next moment, she makes you love her all over again.

And as eccentric and indescribable as she is…

She'll just keep getting better.

A/N: This song just fits Yuuko too much. Especially for those of you who read my Secrets stuff. And I thought that Watanuki would know exactly how well this song describes her, so I made it in his POV. Just vaguely, though.