Chapter 10:

In the Midst of a Blizzard

"Good feeling won't you stay with me- just a little longer."

Violet Femmes

'Wait. What's happening?' Her eyes are closed, and her hands are pressing against his strong arms, holding her close. His lips, his warm soft lips are pressed against hers.

'He's—He's kissing me?' her heart was beating fast—but it seems that the blood on her head was draining.

She pushed him away and gasped for air. She opened her eyes and met his. He too looked surprised at her sudden rejection of his touch. She took a few steps away from him, unconsciously touching her lips with her hand.

She didn't know if she looked terrified but his face was completely shocked and he was moving very cautiously. Surprisingly, this is not how she imagined she would react when Van kisses her. She felt embarrassed, sad, and somehow, angry. Still breathing hard she looked away.

She held up her hand when he tried to approach her. A tear escaped her eye.

'Damn it! Why am I crying?' she wiped away her tear with her gloved hand.

"Hitomi." He again tried to close the distance between them, only to be pushed again.

"Van please, give me a moment." She pleaded.

He felt bad for what he did. Clearly kissing her without her approval was wrong. He forgot. She's not like those other women who welcome his kisses so openly. He waited for her to calm down. He watched her with great concern as she steadied her breathing. She found a boulder to sit on—slowly losing her awareness in her thoughts.

When he noticed that she had gotten hold of herself, he spoke. "I'm sorry."

She probably forgot that he was there. She was surprised when he spoke. She looked up at him as he slowly walked towards her. She didn't show any sign that she wanted him away from her. He knelt before her.

"You're four years late." She said.

"I know." He said. He can still see signs of resentment in her eyes.

"Why now?" she asked.

It was a fair question. Four years ago he broke her heart. She bravely confessed her love for him and he rejected it. He's in the same situation as Allen—he was in no position to demand love from her. He was in no position to expect her to be with him.

He searched his conscience—what was the right thing to say to make her believe that his love for her was real?

"Is it because of Allen?"

It hit him like a punch on his stomach. Maybe it was because Allen was around, and the thought of losing her to him was unbearable.

"Van—"

"Hitomi, I love you."

It wasn't the expression he was expecting. She looked disappointed. He imagined this moment more spontaneous and romantic. Yes it was spontaneous, but it was far from romantic.

The silence grew heavier. Snow started to fall. The wind started to grow harder.

She shook her head and stood up. "No, you don't." she said. she walked away.

"Hitomi, wait please listen to me." He said as he walked after her, but keeping enough distance between them.

"Listen to what? Am I supposed to believe that after seeing you with that woman? You don't love me. You just want to keep me from Allen."

What he thought to be a normal snowfall turned out to be a blizzard. It's hard to see where they are going since the snow storm is getting stronger. He wanted to hold her hand to keep her close, but physical contact is probably not the smartest thing to do now. But it's getting harder to see through the fog.

When he realized where they were standing, he froze. They were in the middle of a frozen lake—a thin iced lake. "Hitomi! Wait! Don't go there!" he yelled after her.

But it was too late. They heard a loud cracking coming from the ground. And in an instant Hitomi was swallowed by the freezing water below.

It felt like a thousand needles pierced through skin. It was hard to move and it felt like something is pulling her down. Her body went numb and her insides where shaking. As she tried to swim up, she realized that she was already underneath the ice cover of the lake.

She gathered all the strength to open her eyes. She looked up but couldn't see the opening. She can feel the water entering her air passage and her mouth.

She can hear Van's faint voice calling her name. Her consciousness is slowly escaping her—as she looked up, she saw a shadow drawing closer.

There was another cracking sound. She felt a pair of strong hands pull her up. When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was a white pair of wings. She quickly realized how he saved her. It was painful to cough out the water in her lungs, but breathing in the cold air was much painful. She wondered how Van could act as if being topless in the middle of a blizzard is such a normal thing.

"No—V-Van. N-no one m-must s-see." She said through her chattering teeth.

"Like I have a choice! It was the only way to get you out of there." He said angrily.

They landed where Van left his coat and shirt.

"We have to get you to warmth, quick." He said as he put the coat around her.

The quickest place he could think of is the cabin for the watchmen. He carried her and quickly made his way through the blizzard. It wasn't easy to see where they were going. He wanted to fly, but it's going to be too hard in this storm.

He couldn't be more thankful when they spotted one of the cabins. When they entered he quickly placed her near the fireplace and started the fire. She was still shivering hard.

"You gotta get out of that dress." he said as grabbed the blanket on the corner.

She looked at him with such exasperation.

"You're soaked wet! You're not gonna get warm in that dress, the blankets will be useless." He explained.

Without saying another word, she tried to take off her dress with great difficulty. She was shaking so hard that she couldn't move with ease. Van bent down behind her and tried to help.

"Van, no!" she exclaimed through her hoarse voice and chattering teeth.

Van grabbed a material of her dress when she tried to move away from him. "Hitomi stop being so difficult! I just want to get you warm!"

Hitomi grunted and looked away. It didn't feel like she had much of a choice, she can barely move.

Van let her keep her undergarments on and wrapped her under three layers of blanket. It wasn't enough. She was still really cold and her insides felt like they were frozen.

Van knew what he had to do, but afraid if he was permitted to do so. He started it slow. He settled himself behind her and tried to get her warm by rubbing his hand against her covered back. it didn't feel like she wanted him to stop.

"Hitomi" he softly called her.

"Just do it Van, please." She begged.

And without another word, he went under the blankets and held her. Hitomi laid her head on his arm. Her cold back was against his warm broad chest. It wasn't the most comfortable position—not after the discussion they just had.

The silence didn't make the situation any better for the both of them, but at least they were keeping each other warm. Van held her freezing hands with his and pulled her closer. Soon, her shivering stopped.

It was hard to read what she was thinking at the moment. She seemed relaxed, but the air is uneasy. Maybe it was the storm outside—maybe it was the storm building between them. She's not pushing him away. She's not tensed either. She's doing better now, that's what matters.

He held her cold fingers in his. He was surprised that she held his back, he thought she was already asleep.

"I forgot how comfortable I am in your arms." She whispered through her hoarse voice.

He said nothing and simply smiled.

"About what you said in the forest—"

"Just rest Hitomi. I don't want you to think about that now."

"How can I stop thinking about it? And as if you can stop me from doing so."

There was another silence between them.

"I've been trying." He finally broke the silence.

She waited for him to say more.

"I've been trying to be the man you deserve. Five years ago, I was a boy who has no sense of direction or will. You saw it."

His hold on her hand tightened. She remained silent, knowing that he has more to say.

"I never said I didn't want to you—I know, somehow I do. Some part of me, always wanted more from you—more than your friendship. But five years ago, I wasn't ready."

"And you are now?" There was something in the way she said it that scared him.

"You think" she continued "that I'll still be here waiting for you after five years?"

He didn't answer, but his silence was a clear answer for her.

"That's a lot to ask."

Though she didn't make a single movement, he felt the need to let go of her. He felt an invisible force pushing him away.

"I never wished for you to wait. All I want is for you to be with a man you deserve—not a boy who makes reckless decision or a man who easily leaves you."

He placed a light kiss on the back of her shoulder.

"You'll see—I am the man you deserve."

AN: well we're a few chapters away from the end of this story. been working on a rated M one- more bloody and graphic story of Escaflowne. i'm very excited about that fic.

thanks for the reviews and alerts!