Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!
Summary: COMPLETE (new chapter up everyday - total of 29 chapters!). Some people are assholes. Some people are kind. It's when those are the same person that things get real confusing. Minor character death. A fic about grief, healing, and hope. Modern AU (office AU), Sasunaru/Narusasu.
A/N: Guess who has wifi on the train! So today's update is super early :) I really hope you like it! This chapter was never meant to be this long :P
Something Good
Chapter 10: Meow.
They wiped the place clean.
It took six hours, several car trips, and more boxes than Sasuke had thought they'd had access to—but they managed it. Sasuke had made a point of setting Naruto's photographs—and plants—in his car, and repeating the placement of them every few minutes until the man himself made it there.
Sasuke glanced to his side and flicked on his turn signal.
Perhaps he should send it in an email, as well. Perhaps when he was home...half an hour from now.
He sighed.
He was exhausted. He'd been exhausted for the better part of today—since the moment he'd awoken, and now—
Sasuke smoothly changed lanes.
And now he was angry with himself, on top of it all. It was as if he'd forgotten where he was. It was as if he'd forgotten who he was. He'd spent the better part of six-something hours chattering away with his employee, and he'd just—
He'd just opened up. Like it was nothing. Sasuke was hellishly uncomfortable with revealing any and all personal information. Always. But there—but then, but recently, it was like he was trying to recite his entire life story to Naruto.
Sasuke scowled as he hit the brake pedal. Fucking red lights.
He'd gone years without even a whisper of his sexuality. Without a whisper of his dating habits, or his hobbies, or anything—and it had been perfect. He didn't want anyone knowing anything about him. He was happy that way. He was better off that way.
The light turned green, and Sasuke forced himself to accelerate at a reasonable pace.
It wasn't as if Naruto was a bad person. No, of all the people to take advantage of Sasuke's hospitality...Naruto would never be one of them. And he had been incredibly grateful. And obviously preoccupied. And...
Sasuke sighed.
Naruto had better things to think about than Sasuke's embarrassment—or, well, worse things. Far worse things.
Fucking hell. Alright. Well.
Sasuke merged into the turning lane, and waited.
What was done was done. All he had to do now was make it home, stuff some food into his mouth, and pass out.
He could worry about this tomorrow.
He'd worry about his stuff tomorrow. The photos were fine, and he might as well bring the plants to the office or something...he already had too many here.
Naruto slammed his car door shut with his back, and sucked in several breaths. Sakura'd offered to sleepover—and, well, from the way everybody else had listened in on that conversation, everybody else had probably been willing to too, but Naruto was just…
Fucking exhausted.
He closed his eyes as the elevator doors did the same.
He'd skipped Chouji's dinner out of fear of being sick again, but now he was just way too damn tired to eat. It'd be a miracle if he made it to his bed. He'd been running on the last of his adrenaline for the drive home, and now…
The elevator beeped, and Naruto stumbled down the hall.
He fell asleep, in his bed, with his clothes unchanged.
Sasuke barely made it through dinner.
He settled for a piece of toast, with whatever he could find slapped on top—he was too tired to care. He bit into it as he pulled his belt from his pants and the shirt over his head. He'd sweat enough tonight to be able to get away with tossing them into the laundry basket (he nearly threw the belt in, too, and it was only then that he realized his wallet and keys were still in his stupid pants' pocket).
His toothbrush barely skimmed his teeth as he pulled his pajamas on. He didn't bother to floss—but he did make sure to set his alarm, with his phone sitting beside his head on the bedside table—
He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
He couldn't sleep.
Naruto had woken up cold, uncomfortable, and unfathomably hungry—stumbled his way to the fridge, stumbled his way back, and now—
He couldn't sleep.
God fucking damn it. It was four in the morning. It was four in the morning. He had work tomorrow. He was supposed to be functional tomorrow. He'd already barely existed today, with how—
Naruto hissed out a breath and threw himself onto his side. No. No. His mind would not race again—he wasn't going to think about this—he wasn't going to think about anything. He'd keep his mind blank, so he could actually fucking sleep—
…
This was never going to work.
Eyes heavy and sore, Naruto sat up. He didn't know how he could be so exhausted and so totally unable to sleep. His room was pitch black, his body was as tired as his mind, he…
He stared down at his lap.
He didn't know what to do.
He'd hoped he'd be too tired to feel any of this. Too numb or too distracted or…
Naruto sighed and grabbed his phone. Maybe he could scroll through some dumb website or…
Oh.
Against his will, Naruto smiled.
He'd completely forgotten about his background. Again.
...He knew Sasuke would kill him if he called. He surely would, no matter how nice he actually was turning out to be—Sasuke's cell had been given to them for work emergencies only. But so far, he'd been—so far, the only night Naruto had actually managed to get decent sleep, Sasuke had…
Naruto closed his eyes, and hit dial.
"—lo?"
Crap. Sasuke sounded exhausted.
"Hey," he said quietly, "um, sorry, it's—"
"Naruto."
"I...yeah," Naruto sat up a little more, "hi."
"Are you—"
"I'm fine," Naruto said quickly, "I'm fine, sorry, I didn't—crap," Naruto ran a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry, go back to bed, I'll—"
"Uzumaki," Sasuke growled, "if you called me in the middle of the night only to immediately hang up, I will come to work tomorrow and kill you."
Naruto ducked his head.
"Yeah," he said quietly, "yeah—I—sorry. I couldn't, um, really sleep."
"...You bizzare bundle of energy," came Sasuke's mumbled response, and Naruto let out a small laugh.
"No—I, um, I mean, I was asleep. I'm just—" Naruto rubbed at his eye with the base of his palm. "I woke up again."
He heard Sasuke let out a breath.
"Have you eaten?"
Naruto laughed a little—more nervous, this time—
"Yeah, I think that's what woke me up. I did."
"Mm," came Sasuke's sleepy voice, "water?"
"Oh," Naruto ran a hand through his hair, "I guess—"
"Every time with you."
"Hey!" Naruto protested. "No, this time doesn't count—I didn't even do anything when I came home. I didn't even take off my work clothes!"
"Stupid," Sasuke breathed, "get changed."
Naruto let out a breath.
"Don't make me come over there."
And Naruto didn't know if it was a threat or an offer, but—
"You'd," he laughed quietly, pushing himself up a little more, "you'd crash on the way, genius. I just wanted to...um, talk."
"To me," came Sasuke's quiet voice, and it made Naruto flinch. Yeah, he could've called anyone. They would have been happy to talk to him.
He could have called anyone.
"You can yell at me if you want," he whispered.
"...Such a high opinion of me," Naruto heard a breath and a small groan, as if Sasuke was stretching on the other end— "What time is it?"
"Um," Naruto grimaced a little, "four."
He heard Sasuke let out a breath.
"Sorry."
"It's fine, moron, I was asking a question." Sasuke made another small noise. "Haruno didn't stay with you?"
"No, I, uh—I thought I'd pass out right away. I mean, I did, but then…y'know."
"I know."
There was a small pause. Naruto looked down at his lap and debated actually getting up and getting changed...getting some water or something...maybe getting some real food as opposed to the fucking crackers he'd ended up just stuffing in his mouth…he really didn't want to move, but—
Naruto's phone buzzed in his hand.
"There." Sasuke's voice sounded like a sigh.
Naruto pulled his phone away from his ear.
"You know you're in my phone as 'the asshole'?" he asked, tapping on the text message—
"I didn't need you to tell me for me to know that."
Naruto let out a soft laugh. Sasuke had sent him a photo, it seemed, from the attachment that was still loading—
"Oh," Naruto laughed again as the photo loaded—it was the one— "oh my god, amazing, Sasuke, that—I'm gonna change my background right now."
"I'm so flattered," Sasuke deadpanned.
"You should be, I'm in high demand," he said, tapping through his settings. Sasuke's voice was loud enough that he didn't really need to hold him up to his ear—he could just lay with the phone on his side, like this…
"I don't doubt it."
The smile spread across Naruto's face again. He wondered if Sasuke realized how often he'd accidentally complimented him.
"Done," he said, letting out a breath. "Okay. I'm gonna get some...water or something."
"You're listening to me," Sasuke mumbled. "It's a goddamn miracle."
"Thanks, dickwad." Naruto groaned as he pushed himself out of the bed. He switched ears as he dug through his drawers for a clean set of pajamas—preferably soft, too—
"Are you getting water?"
"I'm getting changed first," he told the phone—on the dresser, now, as he pulled his shirt off—
"That explains why you're yelling from the dark side of the moon."
Naruto snorted. He was way too fucking tired to hang up everything properly—he'd wash it all later. He grabbed a pair of pants and stumbled his way to the kitchen.
"Did you remember the boxes? I was going to email you…"
"I'm bringing the plants to the office," Naruto said, tucking his phone between his shoulder and his face, "and the pictures are still in the car. I'll get them tomorrow."
"How many plants do you need? Your cubicle is already a greenhouse."
"I like plants, asshole," Naruto said, filling up a cup. "If you think that's bad, you should see my actual place."
"Is it a greenhouse?"
Naruto laughed, and nudged his bedroom door open with his shoulder.
"It's a bit of one, yeah." He slid the cup onto the table and flopped back into bed. "I like being surrounded by life, y'know?"
There was a pause. Naruto twisted himself up in his sheets.
"S'that weird?"
"No," came Sasuke's muffled voice, "it's very...romantic."
Naruto turned onto his back.
"...Romantic?"
"I—whatever, I'm tired—"
"No, no, no, no," Naruto laughed, "you said—how is it romantic?"
"Fuck off, Uzumaki," Sasuke mumbled, "it's four in the morning."
Naruto laughed.
"Yeah," he said, "I think it's the first time I've ever heard you be off your game."
"I'm going to quote you on that."
"Yeah, go ahead. I'm gonna tell everybody you think plants are romantic."
"The sentiment was—you moron, not the plants, you—" Sasuke let out a breath, "stupid."
Naruto laughed.
"Yeah, well. I mean, I guess I used to name them and stuff."
"...Your plants?"
"Yeah. When I was younger."
"Younger as in four years old or younger as in fourteen?"
Naruto rolled over a little.
"...More like fourteen."
On the other end, Naruto heard Sasuke's soft laugh.
"Sounds about right. What were their names?"
"Um, I had—well, my first one was Kurama, which was this big orange foxglove—y'know the ones that are like—they're super tall and straight and have big bunches of flowers in like—in like a column?"
"Mm."
"Yeah. That was Kurama. And I had a cactus named Shukaku that I could never get to flower, but it lived forever. I moved it so much and it never even flinched."
"And the ones with you now? Do they have names?"
"No," Naruto said quietly, "I stopped after—I, um," he let out a breath, "after a lot of them didn't, um, live too long and I—well, like, I know they're plants and it's not like—"
"Romanticist. I told you."
Naruto let out a surprised breath.
"You ass." He closed his eyes. "I guess I'm probably too sentimental about stuff."
"...You're not. Why would you be?"
Naruto's eyes opened.
"I mean," he let out a breath, finally acknowledging the lump in his throat—the one he'd been trying to push away all night— "it'd be nice not to—not to have to feel like, um, this—" Naruto waved a hand around himself and sucked in a shuddering breath, "you know?"
"Moron," came Sasuke's voice, with a consciousness that hadn't been there a moment ago, "you'd never be happy living like that."
"You don't—"
"Surrounded by life. You said it yourself."
"I mean, I—"
"You love people and people love you."
"I—"
"And part of love is loss."
Naruto sucked in half of a breath—
"But I—I don't think—"
"You're going to be okay."
Naruto's breath caught in his mouth—
"You're going to feel okay."
"Sasuke," he said, unable to—
"I know."
"Sas—"
"I know, Naruto."
Naruto, alone and cold in his bed, crumbled into himself. He muffled the sobs with the blankets he clutched to his chest—
"Keep breathing."
Naruto did what he could to obey. The pain was deep and insidious and twisting through every part of him, waiting to suffocate him at a moment's notice—not even, it was like as soon as he started to feel like himself, he—
"My family had a cat, growing up."
"You—" Naruto coughed out a breath, "what?"
"We had a small black cat. My mother brought him home."
"...Him?" The word was like a breath in—
"Susanoo, god of storms. From Japanese mythology."
"Oh," Naruto let out the breath into the covers in front of him, "that's really—"
"He was terrified of storms."
Against every bit of his will, Naruto laughed. It was wet and breathless and Naruto felt some tension leave his body with the breath—
"He'd hide under my bed."
"That's so cute," Naruto whispered.
"And lunge out at my feet every time I came near it."
Naruto put a hand over his smile.
"He was a little bastard."
"Just like you," Naruto couldn't help but say, and something in Sasuke's soft laugh made him know he'd been expecting it.
"So you say," Sasuke said, "although I've never been known to scream at the top of my lungs at four in the morning."
"Oh, now's your chance, then." Naruto sniffed and wiped at his face—he was gonna have to get a million more boxes of tissues by the end of this…
"Meow."
Naruto laughed.
"That wasn't a scream!" It had been deadpan and filled with sarcasm, like every other bit of Sasuke, but—
"My apologies," Sasuke said, and Naruto heard something shift, as if Sasuke was rolling over. "One to fifty-four."
"You have the folder there?"
"I'm getting it. One to fifty-four."
"Um," Naruto rolled onto his back, wiping at his eyes again, "six?"
"That works."
Naruto heard more shuffling on the other end.
"Am I gonna get another text message?"
"The original plan," came Sasuke's voice, muffled and distant, "was to never allow you permanent access to any of this."
"Ah," Naruto said, "permanent, like being my phone background?"
"Yes. Great example. Give me a minute."
"Okay."
Naruto closed his eyes, and waited with his phone in his hand.
"Oh, god."
Naruto opened his eyes.
"...Is it that bad?"
"I had hoped Itachi burned this. Incoming."
Naruto sat up a little. His phone buzzed in his hand and the attachment started to load—
"Oh no."
"I know."
"Oh no, Sasuke—"
"I know."
It was a little fuzzy, in the obvious darkness of Naruto's room, but he could easily make out younger Sasuke's stiff, pained look at the camera, complete with a girl wrapped around his arm, looking up at him like—
"Oh, god, she's so into you!" The giggles finally burst out of Naruto, just as he heard Sasuke's muffled, soft groan—
"Please don't remind me."
"Was this your first date?"
"Yes."
Naruto stared into photo-Sasuke's poor, helpless eyes.
"Was it your last?"
"...Yes."
"You heartbreaker! Did Itachi take the photo?"
"He insisted."
"Oh my god, I'm so glad he did," Naruto laughed again, and flopped back onto the bed. "Okay, okay, start from the top."
He heard Sasuke sigh.
"There's not much to tell. I was tired of being badgered to go on a date, so I went on a date."
"And?"
"And it was a disaster. By the end, she thought so too."
Naruto hissed in a breath through his teeth. "Ouch. Did you pull the old 'this was nice, but let's never do it again'?"
"She did, actually."
"She did?!"
"Apparently, all it took was being alone with me to pick up on my disinterest."
"Ouch! Oh man, that's—"
"Disaster. I told you."
"Aw," Naruto turned on his side and let out a small breath, "did you at least tell her why you weren't interested?"
"Of course not."
Naruto made a small noise of acknowledgement.
"If it makes you feel better, I didn't date anyone 'till I was way outta high school."
"It does not make me feel better to know you made smarter decisions than me, no."
Naruto laughed.
"Ass. I'm plenty smart."
"Sure you are."
It was sarcastic and deadpan, just as Naruto expected, but there was a note of something in Sasuke's voice that made Naruto suddenly sure that the guy was laughing, too—
"Yeah, okay, goth boy. You're not even wearing black here—what happened?"
"I was graduating. I had to join the real world."
"Ugh, conformist."
"..God," Sasuke's soft breath nearly sounded like a laugh, "you are such a moron."
Naruto grinned as he shut off his phone screen again.
"Did you go to university after?"
"Obviously."
"Obviously," Naruto mocked. "Be real—you could've easily just started here after school. Itachi would've taught you everything."
"I think he was attempting to keep my life as normal as possible. Or typical. Reflective of what everyone else was doing, I don't know. Something like that." Sasuke let out another breath. "At any rate, no. I was not mentally prepared to be in charge of anyone, let alone their finances."
"No?"
"No."
"Jeez," Naruto shuffled in place, "I didn't expect you to admit that so easily."
Sasuke snorted.
"I'm aware of my weaknesses, Naruto." He paused for a moment, before continuing more quietly, "and it's four in the morning."
"Mm," Naruto yawned at the reminder, "did you date anyone else after?"
"Not until I came out."
"Fair," Naruto said. "And then?"
"Nothing long-term."
"Hm," Naruto let his eyes flutter closed, "everybody annoys you too much?"
Sasuke snorted.
"Perceptive."
Naruto made a noise of acknowledgement, feeling the warmth of the bed weighing his body down. It was fair enough for Sasuke...off all the things to be picky about, this was probably the most justified. And he could afford it, too, with his looks and his brain and all that, but...Naruto'd never had anything make it long-term, either—not as long as he'd wanted, anyway—and he just...he didn't know how Sasuke could live alone, like he did, and not get…
"Guess you have Itachi, though..."
"I have Itachi for what?"
"Around," Naruto mumbled, eyelids getting heavier. Still, Itachi was as busy as Sasuke, and… "did you get another pet? After…um," Naruto swallowed and breathed in, bring his consciousness back to him just a little—just to remember— "after Susanoo?"
"...No," Sasuke said quietly, "I didn't want…"
His voice trailed off.
Naruto let out a long breath. His thoughts drifted in a haze of fog…everything was so heavy...
"You never lonely or just don't wanna open up since it happened?" he mumbled, feeling himself fade—
In the piercing ring of Sasuke's silence, Naruto's eyes snapped open.
"Sorry," he said, rubbing at his eyes as the room spun around him, "fuck, I'm sorry—forget I said—I was just falling asleep—I didn't know what I was—sorry."
On the other side of the line, he heard Sasuke let out a breath.
"Not thinking before you speak," he said softly, "how rare for you."
The guilt washed the panic away as if it was nothing.
"...Sorry." Naruto stared down at his lap. Of all the things to have said—
"It's fine. Moron."
There was another pause. Naruto felt like the world's biggest asshole.
"...—er."
"You—what?"
"The latter."
"Oh," Naruto said, sucking in the word with the same breath as his surprise. He'd expected to be yelled at, not—this. But the honesty that Sasuke'd shown him demanded in the same in return, so—
"I'm—you probably—I'm the former. Or, the, uh—the opposite of, um, what I said. You probably know."
Sasuke knew everything, right? He probably knew. He definitely—
"I had my suspicions," Sasuke said, and Naruto let out a small, anxious laugh— "that you were even more stupid than I'd initially thought."
"I—hey—what! That's not—"
"You are surrounded by people at all hours of the day."
"That's not—"
"Actual friends of yours."
"And I appreciate them," Naruto let out a breath, "I—I do, but—"
"But?"
"But it's not—there's—" Naruto ran a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated breath. There were things that he wanted that his friends couldn't give him. There were parts of him that his friends didn't know. He wanted someone who would—
"Maybe you should get a dog."
"I...oh my god, Sasuke—"
"And I'll get a cat."
Naruto's sentence paused, in place, before Sasuke's crumble into laughter had Naruto laughing, too—
"Sas—what are you even saying?"
"I don't even know," Sasuke let out a soft, sighing groan, "I'm half-asleep. What were we talking about?"
"Uh," Naruto let out a pathetic laugh, "life?"
"Mm, so specific, moron, thank you."
"You're the one who can't remember anything!" Naruto protested, flopping back down into the bed. He rested his phone on his shoulder so his ear was right beside it, without pressing on it—
"You should go to bed. I'm gonna stop bugging you."
"If you hang up, I will call back."
Naruto blinked his eyes a little more open.
"Why?"
Sasuke let out a breath.
"Stupid," he sighed, and Naruto heard something shift, "how many posters does your room have?"
"Posters?"
"You said it was as covered as your old room."
Naruto let out a soft laugh, glancing around the darkness of his room. He could pick out every detail on the walls, even if he couldn't see them all—
"I mean," he said, "yeah, it is. S'like my wallpaper."
"Mm," Sasuke let out a sigh, "did you wallpaper the ceiling, too?"
"No," Naruto laughed the word out, "no—I did that in my old room, and then one of them fell on me in the middle of the night and I nearly fucking shit the bed—"
Naruto ran a hand through his hair just as he heard Sasuke start to laugh again. It was such a satisfying sound—
"Learned your lesson, did you?"
"Learned it real fast, yeah." He paused for a second, before he rolled onto his side again. "You don't have any posters or anything."
"No. Should I?"
"'Course you should. If you had to pick a poster, what would you put up?"
"...Do I have to pick one?"
"Yep."
Sasuke let out a breath.
"Does it have to be a poster?"
Naruto snorted.
"No, you fancy bastard. Painting, picture—whatever."
"...Lilies."
"Lilies?"
"They were...painted in white. In my par—in the master bedroom."
Naruto sucked in a small breath.
"...You know," he said, after a moment, "that's one flower I've never tried to take care of."
"I've heard they're finicky."
"Eh," Naruto said, "I've dealt with finicky before."
There was a small pause.
"What else did the, um, master bedroom have?"
He heard Sasuke breathe into the phone.
"It was...calm. Clean. Warm," a shuffle, "there was a lot of...beige. Or cream...the bed had curtains—I always thought they were silk. I don't remember if...I don't know."
"It sounds nice," Naruto said softly, eyes closed again. He could see the whole family huddled on the bed, watching a fireplace or something…
"It was. I liked to watch the fire."
"I was just picturing a fireplace there. Was it a real one?"
"Yes. My father would bring the wood in."
Naruto smiled.
"I love that. Tell me more."
"Susanoo wasn't allowed on the bed."
"Aw, what! That's not—"
"He was always on the bed."
Naruto laughed.
"Classic. Did he cuddle?"
"Only with my mother," Sasuke replied. "Sometimes with me, if it was too late at night."
"That's adorable. He'd come into your room?"
"And sleep on my face. Over my eyes. I think he liked the...warmth."
"Aw," Naruto let out a breath, "you're making me want a cat."
"Wait until it tries to cut your Achilles tendon," Sasuke muttered. "You'll eat your words."
Naruto laughed.
"You know," he said, "for a cat that kept trying to attack you, you sure had a lot of trust in him."
"What can I say," Sasuke said, "I was a stupid child."
"You were just as much of a nerd as you are now and you know it."
Sasuke snorted.
"A roundabout way of complimenting my intelligence, but I'll take it."
"You're one to talk," Naruto countered. "You've called me all sorts of nice shit recently."
"...Lies and slander."
Naruto laughed.
"Okay, okay—I forgot, you're mean and evil and you don't like anyone ever. Better?"
"Much, thank you."
Naruto nudged the side of his face into his pillow.
"You're welcome. Did Susanoo never cuddle with Itachi?"
"No," Sasuke said, "Itachi would get allergies the next morning if he stayed in his room. My father would too, I think...but he dealt with it. I'm not sure if it was less severe."
"Good man," Naruto said. "Jiraiya was never into pets or anything...I always kinda wanted one."
"If you can fall asleep to a TV show, you can likely fall asleep to a cat purring. It's very loud."
"Isn't it soothing, though? I've always thought that…"
"Mm, it is—if they sleep through the night. Susanoo was very nocturnal."
Naruto snorted.
"Did he wake you up all the time?"
"He did."
"Aw," Naruto laughed a little, "was it the meowing?"
"The meowing to let him out of the room, the meowing to let him back in the room, the meowing when he found a toy, the meowing when he lost the toy…"
Naruto laughed again.
"Was he trapped in your room? He—"
"No, I left the door open regularly. He refused to believe it was open."
Naruto's smile spread against the pillow.
"You've gotta send me a picture of him. If you have one. I'm dying to see this dork."
"I have one in my bedside drawer. One second."
Naruto's eyes flickered open. The room seemed somehow darker than before—and his phone seemed much brighter. His eyes felt weighted and slow but, for the first time that day, they didn't burn, either—
"Oh," Naruto said, as the photo loaded onto his phone. Sasuke had a photo album, from the looks of things—although Naruto wasn't sure how full it was, because the slot beside this one was empty—
"Your mom is so pretty," Naruto couldn't help but say. She smiled down at the cat in her lap with such delicate affection, Naruto felt his heart squeeze at the sight—
"She was," Sasuke replied quietly, and Naruto got the sense the guy was scanning her features the same way he still was.
"Man," Naruto breathed out, collapsing against the pillow with the phone still held in front of his face. "I'm sorry, Sasuke."
He didn't think he'd told him that. He was, though—Sasuke had had the kind, loving, warm family ripped out from under his feet all at once, and just the thought of it had Naruto—
"It's life." Naruto distinctly heard something that sounded like a drawer closing.
He let out a humourless snort, and set his phone back to sleep.
"It's not life," Naruto said. "It's bullshit. It's fucking bullshit."
Sasuke let out a breath.
"It's—fuck, I'm so fucking mad, Sasuke—" His blood surged through his veins, hot and alive and fucking furious—he slapped his arm against the bed and twisted away from the phone—
"Na—"
"No, I'm serious!" He was nearly yelling, now— "What the fuck?! Why the fuck does this happen? What's—where is the—god, I'm so fucking—"
Helpless.
Naruto stared at his hands, hanging loosely above his face.
"How do you do this? How do you do it, Sasuke?"
"Slowly."
Naruto breathed out.
"Slowly and unevenly."
He closed his eyes.
"And not at all, some days."
"God," Naruto whispered.
"And perfectly well, other days. Naruto. You don't need to rush this."
"I think—I think I want to rush it, though."
"No," Sasuke said. "You want to remember him. You want to appreciate him. You want to grieve. But that takes time, and you don't think you have it. You feel like you need to be normal right now, because life is moving on."
"Yes," Naruto whispered.
"You're wrong."
Naruto sucked in another breath.
"You have the time. Let yourself be what you are. If it's sad, then it's sad. If it's happy, let yourself be happy." Sasuke sighed softly. "You can have time off work if you think you need it, but…"
"You think I'll spend my time wallowing in loneliness?"
Sasuke snorted.
"Something like that."
"Yeah," Naruto let out a breath. "I probably would. Thanks."
Sasuke only sighed in response.
"You're so level-headed with all this."
"I assure you," Sasuke said, "that the majority of my advice has been plagiarized from my brother."
Naruto laughed.
"Then thank Itachi for me."
Sasuke laughed softly, and then there was a pause. Naruto felt himself relax into the bed again, just a little bit more...
"S'nice that you guys are so close," Naruto said. "I kinda lost touch with all my foster siblings. It was a long time ago."
"Mm," Sasuke acknowledged, "remind me when Jiraiya adopted you?"
"Thirteen."
"Thirteen," Sasuke repeated.
"Thirteen years." Naruto let out a breath and rubbed at his face. "What d'you think he was doing for thirteen years?"
Sasuke didn't reply.
"Yeah," Naruto sighed. "I don't have an answer either."
"He never…?"
"No," Naruto rolled over, "no. And I didn't want to bring it up. I always figured I'd ask him later," he let out a bitter, harsh laugh, "and now I guess it's later, huh?"
"What about Tsunade?"
"What about her?"
"If they were...close, she might have some insight."
Naruto's eyes opened.
"That's a good thought."
"Thanks. I have them from time to time."
Naruto felt the smile pull at his lips.
"And for what it's worth," Sasuke let out a breath, just as Naruto held his—damn it, he had just stopped crying— "I've yet to meet an adult who knows what the fuck they're doing."
The breath left Naruto's chest as a laugh.
"I think Itachi might," he offered.
Sasuke made a small noise of acknowledgement.
"That's not an adult thing. That's an Itachi thing."
"Aw," Naruto laughed a little, "he really is the big brother you look up to, huh?"
He could hear Sasuke roll his eyes.
"Don't push it, Uzumaki."
"Uh-huh, don't think I didn't notice that wasn't a no," Naruto rolled onto his side, "but I'm shutting up, I'm shutting up."
"I don't think you're physically capable of shutting up."
"Wow," Naruto said, "asshole Sasuke is back."
"Asshole Sasuke was never gone," a pause, "dumbass."
Naruto laughed.
"You're the one choosing to be on the phone with this dumbass. You could be asleep right now."
"Don't remind me," Sasuke said. "I've turned on all the lights in an attempt to keep myself awake."
Naruto smiled softly.
"How's it working?"
"You tell me. Am I making any sense?"
Naruto let out a laugh.
"More sense than I am, I think."
"Mm," Sasuke made a small noise, as if he was stretching, "that's not exactly difficult."
"Okay—I know you're trying to deflect by being an asshole, but seriously," Naruto bit his lip and turned away from the phone a little, "thanks."
"...Don't think this will make me go easy on you tomorrow."
Naruto snorted.
"I know it won't, don't worry. You'll kick my ass like any other day."
Sasuke let out a breath, and Naruto swore he could hear the smile in it.
"As long as you're aware."
"'Course," he said. "Hey—we're the same age, right?"
"...If you're trying to undermine my authority, you—"
"No," Naruto snorted, "I mean, I already do that all the time, but no, I'm just trying to get your timeline right in my head. That'd mean you were working with Itachi for...two years before I got there?"
He heard Sasuke let out a breath.
"That sounds about right."
"Huh. I always thought it was longer."
"Well, yes," Sasuke said, "I should hope I came across as experienced."
Naruto laughed a little.
"Wasn't it weird though? Going to work with your brother?"
"It was a transition," Sasuke admitted. "It's still...we're technically at the same level, but…"
"He still kinda feels like your boss, huh?"
Sasuke sighed in response.
"I mean," Naruto shifted back onto his back, tucking his hand under his head, "I think everybody else is just as scared of you as they are of him."
"You aren't."
"That's 'cause you're nice to me."
"No—before now. And I am not nice."
"You're a fucking sweetheart, deal with it," Naruto yawned, "and I liked to fuck with you. Figured if you were actually gonna fire me, you would've done it the first time I called you an asshole to your face."
Sasuke snorted.
"You know I have access to your emails, right? I knew what you thought of me well before that."
"You—what! You guys read our emails?!"
"We have better things to do with our time than stalk you, relax. You can easily avoid it by not using your company email for personal conversation—and this was fully disclosed to you when you began working here."
"I—" Naruto groaned, "was it in that big ass contract? As if anyone read that thing…"
"I read that thing."
"Yeah, that's 'cause you're a fucking nerd. Nobody with a life read that thing."
"I...don't care enough to debate that."
Naruto laughed.
"That's 'cause you know I'm right. What do you even do in your free time?"
"Bold of you to assume I have free time."
"Oh come on," Naruto laughed, "even you aren't that bad."
"I eat, I check my emails, I go to work, I come home, I eat, I check my emails, I sleep. I bought three books at the start of this year and I haven't started a single one."
"You and Itachi gotta have a chat about work-life balance," Naruto said. "What're your books about?"
"They're novels. Fiction."
"What kind? Sci-fi? Romance? Oh, don't tell me," Naruto laughed, "erotica?"
"Oh, yes, you got me," Sasuke deadpanned, "my one and only hobby is buying porn that I never even read."
Naruto stuffed his smile into his pillow.
"I knew it. What are they actually?"
"Two historical, one philosophical fiction. I have no idea if they're any good."
Naruto snorted.
"Oh, yeah, just a bit of light reading," he mocked. "Nerd."
"Thank you ever so much. Do you even know how to read, moron?"
"Okay, I asked for that," Naruto mumbled, "but for real, I didn't know how to read for ages. Way longer than I was supposed to. I've always kinda struggled with it since then."
"What? You went to school, didn't you?"
"Yeah, and my teachers were assholes. And I was an asshole. Nobody wants to teach a little asshole."
There was a pause.
"So they didn't fucking teach you how to read?"
Naruto's eyes opened. Sasuke had actually sounded pretty mad, there—
"I mean," he said, "I learned eventually—my foster brother—or, I mean, one of them—made me sit down every night and...yeah. I dunno. He was way older—like he was basically an adult, and I—I probably—I think I needed someone to personally sit down with me. I dunno."
There was a long pause.
"...Are you taking a moment to reconsider all my shitty spelling mistakes?" Naruto let out a nervous laugh—
"I'm taking a moment to feel like an asshole," was Sasuke's soft, mumbled response, as if he had a hand over his face—
"You—" Naruto laughed, "Sasuke, it's fine! I know I'm a dumbass, I can laugh about it—"
"You're—you know you're not genuinely stupid, right?"
The serious tone of Sasuke's voice made Naruto's smile falter. His cheeks burned, though, as if to make up for it—
"I...yeah. I don't think I'm actually stupid." He paused for a moment. "I'm a little dumb sometimes, though."
Sasuke snorted.
"Your awareness is appreciated." There was a pause, before Sasuke continued with a quiet, barely audible, "...sorry."
The blush and the smile spread across Naruto's face, this time.
"Sasuke! It's fine, I'm telling you—I keep calling you a dickhead even though you're talking to me at four—is it five? It's probably five, now—"
"Fuck, please let it not be."
Naruto snorted and ran a hand through his hair until it hit the pillow.
"Y'know you can hang up on me at any point, right? I keep telling you—"
"Yes, yes, I know, I don't care. It's a general complaint of mine that time passes too quickly."
"S'been a mix of too fast and too fucking slow for me, recently."
Sasuke let out a breath.
"Well, feel free let me know if it goes too slowly. I have plenty of deadlines I can have you stress about."
"Aw," Naruto rolled his eyes, "you're so sweet."
"I try."
Naruto opened his mouth to reply, but all that came out was a yawn, instead.
"And if it goes too quickly, I can always send Rock your way."
"You—hey! Don't be mean to Lee!"
"My apologies. He talks at an entirely reasonable pace for an entirely reasonable duration of time."
Naruto really didn't mean to laugh—
"Sasuke! He just gets excited, it's not—"
"About everything?"
"Yeah! It's great! Just 'cause you're a mean old grump—"
"I am not old."
"Just 'cause you're a mean young grump, then," Naruto amended. "Honestly, you're just the grinch of the office."
"I just want to be left alone?"
"So you steal Christmas—"
"So I take reasonable action against my inconsiderate neighbours."
Naruto's snort turned into a laugh—
"Reasonable!" He laughed. "'Course you'd be on his side. Lemmie guess, you always identify with the villains?"
"What can I say?" came Sasuke's lazy voice. "Sauron had a point."
"He—what! What are you—"
Naruto's voice cut off as Sasuke's laugh started again.
"I'm kidding, you moron. You're so easy."
Naruto rolled his eyes and settled back down.
"Not as easy as you, asshole," he countered. "You read Lord of the Rings?"
"Before the craze, I did."
"Oh, of course," Naruto laughed, "sorry, sorry, you read it before it was popular, right, goth boy? I bet you like a lot of bands I've probably never heard of—"
"I'm going to kick your ass, Uzumaki."
"Yeah? Come at me, Uchiha," Naruto replied automatically. "I didn't think fantasy would be your thing, though."
"No? I read quite a bit as a teenager."
"But not anymore?"
Sasuke sighed softly. "I've bought some."
"Ah," Naruto said, "the time thing again, huh?"
"Yes," Sasuke said, "the time thing again."
"Seems to be a reoccuring theme in my life."
"I'd hazard a guess that it's a theme in everyone's lives."
"Yeah," Naruto closed his eyes again, "maybe. What other books did you read?"
"A lot of one-offs that I didn't particularly enjoy," Sasuke said. "But I tried them. I spent a lot of time at the library."
"Nerd," Naruto mumbled, "I knew it."
"Let me guess," Sasuke said, "you spent a lot of time at the movies?"
"Damn," Naruto laughed, "called me out. I spent a lot of time in front of the TV, yeah. Got me to sit down and shut up, I guess."
There was a pause.
"Sorry," Naruto said, when Sasuke continued to be obviously silent, "was that too much? It wasn't that bad."
"It...was this before or after Jiraiya?"
Naruto opened his eyes.
"Bit of both, really. I was an annoying kid."
"All kids are annoying," he could hear the scowl in Sasuke's voice, "that's no excuse."
Naruto felt a smile pull at his lips.
"Are you defending little ol' me?"
He heard Sasuke let out a breath.
"Relax, Sasuke, it wasn't that bad," Naruto said. "I mean—it wasn't bad at all. I was fine, I just needed a lot of attention, and everybody was just—"
"Too busy for you."
The words faded from Naruto's mouth.
"I...yeah. Kinda," he said quietly, "but it wasn't bad. I mean, it was fine. I was—I was pretty happy."
"Hm."
"I'm serious—it was fine."
"Alright," Sasuke said, sounding entirely unconvinced. "One to fifty-four."
"You've got the folder again?"
"It's still in my lap. Might as well do something with it."
Naruto let out a soft laugh.
"What was the number I picked before?"
"Six."
"Okay—seven."
"They're not in any particular order, but...oh."
"Oh?"
Sasuke sighed.
"Oh. Incoming."
"Already ready," Naruto said. He'd twisted on the spot, until he laid on his stomach, perched up on his elbows, phone in hand—
The photo loaded.
"Is that a—"
"It is a swan."
"Is the—is the swan—"
"It is attacking me, yes."
"Is it ripping your shirt off?!"
"Just about."
Naruto crumbled into laughter.
"Did Itachi take the photo?! Why didn't he help you?!"
"Of course he did. And he was stuck in a state rather similar to your current one."
Naruto composed his laughter long enough to breath—but one glance at the photo had him laughing again. Teenage Sasuke looked so panicked—
"That's what I get for trying to befriend animals."
"What were you—what did you—where even are you?"
"We went to the lake."
"What lake?!"
"Past the city. Around an hour and a half north."
"Okay, okay, back up, back up, back up. Gimmie the whole story."
"Alright," Sasuke sighed, "I was fifteen—it was my birthday, and Itachi decided..."
A/N: These guys just kept talking! Hahaha :) I hope you guys liked this one - it's one of my favourites too. Let me know!
See you tomorrow (if I have internet!),
- Kinomi