Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks to Nic, beta-superior. She's a doll. And to those of you who put me on alert, or favorite me, or *swoon* review: thanks so, so much. Slainte!

We left when the sun started sinking, taking its moderate warmth with it. Mum, Da and I parted ways with Emmett and Rose on the corner when they turned the opposite way so he could walk her home. Rose lived in one of the Protestant neighborhoods, and Emmett could only walk her to the peace line there, but that didn't deter him from going as far as he could. I wondered what they planned to do if they got married… where would they live? Would she convert? I knew Emmett would rather die than turn his back on his faith…

Edward and I didn't return downstairs. The hours had been spent talking quietly, and kissing, touching. Things never grew heated, as it just wasn't that sort of day; but for me, it felt like a subtle turning point. There was a part of me that constantly craved his touch, making me marvel at the sort of impious woman I was turning into. I thought about Edward, and his hands, and his mouth – all the time – to the point where I even had to censor myself with Father Harrington. The shame.

Another part of me, however, recognized that what we had was deeper than that. He seemed to depend on me, to actually need me. Never in our lives had he seemed the type to really need anyone, and I knew that was silly because everyone needs someone, but his independent spirit had always been so brash and blatant. It was probably the very thing that made him well suited to be a leader of men fighting for freedom.

I rubbed my arms vigorously as we made the quick walk home, chastising myself for not having brought a cardigan or sweater earlier. I hadn't wanted to leave Edward just now; every part of me rebelled silently against it, but I knew he had a lot to discuss with his parents and Alice. I could be patient; Esme deserved this belated audience with her son.

When I came out of the bathroom later on, combing through my wet hair, Mum was waiting in my room, perched on my bed. She smiled when I walked in, holding her hand out for the comb as she scooted back on the bed.

Grinning, I plopped down onto the floor and handed her the comb, glad for the comfort of what was once a nightly ritual. My mother began working methodically through the snags and tangles, ever-gentle and persistent with the more stubborn knots.

"I know you've been nervous lately," she began cautiously.

"I have," I sighed, not bothering to skirt around it. As close as I was to my mother, this was one topic we'd yet to broach, mainly due to her preference to keep our lives as normal as possible. Obviously, I could respect that desire – "ignorance is bliss", after all.

God only knew I'd no idea what it was like to have grown children making dangerous decisions. Between my Da and Emmett, Mum had experienced her fair share of worry.

"Edward's a good boy. I've faith he'll do what's right," she assured me, reminding me – as Esme had – that there were no secrets within or between our families. I felt her fingers start to separate my hair so she could plait it.

"Right for me or right for the cause?" I asked.

Her movements stopped. "Isabella. Why'd ye even start this?"

"Start what, seein' Edward?"

I knew better than to get cheeky with Mum when she was in control of my hair. She yanked the three sections sharply and starting braiding with purpose.

My eyes watered as I backpedaled. "No, I mean, I love him and I support what he's doing, I just wish he'd let me help – "

Mum tightened her hold on my hair. "I don't think so, love, so get that out of your head right now."

"Mum!" I growled, lifting my hand to pry her fingers away.

"I'm not to hear you're trying to involve yourself - leave that to the men. Please. Emmett takes my heart every time he leaves this house," she continued in a low voice.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, she's lost it. "Alright, then," I agreed, patting her hand so she'd loosen her hold.

Mercifully, she got the point and softened her grip. "I supported your father's efforts until the point came where, had he continued, I'd have ended up alone. You have a decision to make, once and for all. If you're going to do this, Bella, then do it. But don't waffle. The last thing that boy needs is indecision…"

Shocked by my mother's advice, I twisted out of her grasp and turned around. "What are ye sayin', Mum? I thought you hated all of this!"

She eyes searched mine. "I do, Isabella. I despise it… but I understand it's a necessary evil. Edward and your brother are going to do it regardless, so stand behind him or leave him alone, but don't be in his way. It's just going to break your heart that you can't change him, and it's going to distract him from what he's trying to do. You don't want him stranded out there with lost focus, Bella."

Shaken, I returned to my spot on the floor between her feet. "I … understand. But he needs to at least let me know what's going on - I nearly lost myself the past few days, I was so worried."

"Then talk to him, love. Let him know he can't keep you in the dark about things if he wants you to have a proper relationship," Mum said. "I know how you feel, but I also want you to understand that it wouldn't be fair to either of you to agree to a relationship if you can't see eye to eye on certain things."

"Sometimes I feel like it's a matter of him being committed to the IRA, while I'm committed to him," I mumbled.

"He's committed to you as well, don't think I haven't noticed his ring on your finger," she reminded me, finishing my braid and dropping it. She massaged her fingers over my scalp, soothing the tightness.

I nodded, knowing she was right and glad because of it.

Edward needed to agree to full disclosure, and I had to make sure that once he gave it to me, he could trust me not to use it against him. I was going to have to swallow my fear once and for all, and leave it in God's hands.

Since we'd been at the Cullen's until Saturday evening, we went to mass the next morning instead. Emmett, Mum and I settled into our regular spot while Da went to confession.

Moments later Edward sat down beside me, the rest of his family filing quietly into the shiny, polished pew after him. His hand found mine and he entwined them together on his lap and I, ignoring Mum's sideways glances at our questionable church behavior, relaxed against him.

Edward sighed heavily when it was his turn for confession, pausing before he let go of my hand. He started to rise reluctantly from the pew, but then stopped, looking at me. There was such despondency in his eyes, and my heart squeezed when I saw it. We hadn't spoken since he'd arrived; we didn't have to. I knew the pain and guilt of Pat's passing was tearing him up inside.

I wanted to tell him he didn't have to go just yet, that he could hold off a bit longer til he felt up to it, but then he got up abruptly and disappeared into the confessional booth.

He was expressionless when he came back.

After mass, Edward nodded to his vehicle, which was parked across the street.

"Ride with me?" He asked.

I let my parents know I was leaving with him, and soon we were on our way toward the city centre.

"Hungry?" he asked, thrumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

"A bit," I answered, covering my yawn behind my hand.

"You look tired," he observed.

I nodded my head. "Haven't slept well lately."

"Seems that might be my fault."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

He slowed down for a stop sign and looked at me. "You need to stop worrying so much. I don't want this happening to you; you were just fine before you started up with me."

"Tis a bit late for that now, isn't it?" I scoffed.

Reaching over, he cupped his hand behind my neck, the way he did sometimes.

"Maybe," he replied.

After getting take-away from one of the few spots open on a Sunday, we drove down to the docks and parked. For a while we ate quietly, watching the boats floating nearby.

Wiping my hands on a napkin, I turned to face Edward, folding one leg beneath me. He looked back at me and blinked, methodically putting chips into his mouth.

The best way for me to explain what I wanted would be quick and to the point, like ripping a bandage from a scab, so I cleared my throat and dove on in. "I know your trip to Derry was all bolloxed up, and I'm not going to pretend to know what ye went through," I paused and took a deep breath. "But… you've really got to let me in, here. I was worried sick the whole time, Edward – couldn't you've taken a dander to a payphone to let me know you were alright?"

Swallowing, he crumpled the take-away bag and shoved it between the console and the seat. "Yeah, I should have called, I know… I was just…" he trailed off, staring out at the water.

"What?" I prompted softly, touching his arm.

"Just too feckin' upset. I could hardly even talk to Emmett, let alone you," he muttered, rubbing the back of his arm over his face.

I remained quiet, giving him the space he needed. Finally he looked up at me. "I'm sorry."

"Please, call me next time. I won't fall apart and I won't leave you. If we're going to be together you have to trust me. I love you, and not knowing if you're dead, alive, or arrested is awful," I implored, the feelings of the past few days welling up inside me. I took a few more deep breaths, determined not to cry about it. I was so emotional all the time lately.

He let his eyes meet mine, and he nodded slowly.

"Promise?" I whispered, almost sheepish.

That cracked a smile, and for that I was relieved. "I promise, Bella."

"Good," I said, appeased.

"So, I'm going to get a flat of my own," he announced seconds later.

My mouth dropped open. "Do your parents want you to leave – "

He shook his head. "No, no, nothing like that. My mother was upset –understandably – but she doesn't want me gone. I'm moving because it's not fair to them for me to be hangin' around their home, doing the things I do. It's not smart."

"But what did they say when you told them you wanted to move out?"

Tilting his head, he smirked at me. "Mum cried, of course."

"Well, ye can't blame her – you're her only son," I chided.

"I know. Dad didn't seem to mind as much. And actually, Emmett's thinking of moving in as well."

This was news to me, but I couldn't deny that it made sense. The two of them were well old enough to be on their own, and with the nature of their lifestyle growing more violent by the day, it was the right thing to do.

"Has he spoken to my father about that?" I wanted to know.

"He said he mentioned it last night."

"Have ye started looking at places yet?" I asked.

"There's one flat, not too far up the road in the Markets area. It's available on the first."

"In a week," I noted, taking a sip of my drink.

He nodded, leaning his head back. Our conversation tapered off and I started to clean up the mess we'd made from our impromptu lunch, all the while aware of how he kept his eyes on me. After a moment I looked up at him, smiling self consciously.

"What?"

He smiled, too. "Tis about time we had a place to ourselves," he commented, narrowing his eyes at me.

He had that look on his face, and my stomach flipped.

"Plenty of privacy," he continued, tracing his finger along the underside of my wrist.

"Mm, that's true," I agreed. "Unless Emmett and Rose decide to make it their own personal den of iniquity."

Barking a laugh, he slipped his fingers through mine and squeezed. "Where d'you get this stuff, Bella?"

Shrugging, I grinned, thrilled to have made him laugh. It was a sight I'd been missing.

Just like that, the mood had changed into something else. Opening the door, I scooped up the takeaway trash and carried it to a nearby trash bin, nervous energy skipping through my body like a stone across water.

Edward started the Land Rover when I got back in, putting it into reverse.

I gazed out the window as we left the dock, the barges and boats fading from view. "Are ye bringing me home, now?"

"D'you want to go home?"

"No."

"Then, no."

We were back at the beach, only this time he'd pulled up onto one of the bluffs further out that looked down over the water.

Unlike the last time we'd been here together, this ride had been more light hearted, and I'd let my hand out the window, letting the air catch it and make it fly. The air outside wasn't quite cold yet, but it was remarkably cooler than it had been; autumn was just three weeks away.

Edward seemed somber again, leaning forward and resting his chin atop his hands, which were still wrapped around the top of the steering wheel. My heart skipped around as I gazed at him, at how beautiful he really was. The light from outside made his green eyes look almost gold, and his hair wound into soft, messy waves, several different colors in the spill of sunlight.

"Will you teach me to drive?" I asked tentatively, sliding my shoes off my feet. I wanted to feel the grass beneath my toes…

"Not today," he murmured.

"I didn't mean today."

"Yeah, I'll teach you."

"Okay," I pushed open the door, fighting the wind's attempts to shut it. It may've looked bright and sunny, but as for the wind, it was savage out.

The gusts blew fitfully around me, catching and billowing in my hair like it would the sail on a boat. Glancing back at Edward, I hoisted myself onto the hood, pleasantly surprised by the heat from the engine. I looked toward the choppy sea, letting my legs dangle, silently willing him to come out, too. I wanted to make him forget, even if for a minute, everything else; I wanted to touch him.

The Land Rover shook slightly as he got out and strolled over to me, placing his hands on my knees. He pried them open with his body and placed himself between my legs, replacing my chilly shivers with shivers of another kind.

"What're you smiling about?" he asked lightly, thumbing the corner of my mouth.

"Your car's warming my bum," I grinned.

His eyes flickered to my lips, and he smiled. "I've got something else to warm you."

And there you are, Edward. I've missed you.

"Have you?" I smirked, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him to me. Obliging, he leaned closer, sliding his hands up my thighs and underneath my skirt. He stopped when his palms lay flat between warm metal and my skin, his fingertips grazing the edge of my underwear.

He kissed me once, twice, three times, until I grasped him by the hair and kissed open his lips, letting our tongues touch. I lifted my legs and hooked them around him, my laughter muffled against his mouth when his knees buckled.

"What are you tryin' to do?" he moaned, burying his face in my neck.

"I can never get close enough," I confided, laying my head on his shoulder affectionately.

He skimmed his nose along my jaw and then turned around, wrapping my arms around his body and leaning into me. I closed my eyes, breathing in the wind and sun. We could have been anywhere just then, and it felt good to let anything of consequence disappear. This is what I'd wanted for him, to be able to just be. He let go of my hands and let his fingers trail absently up and down my legs, curving behind my calves and down to my bare feet, which were propped on the bumper.

"Let's get back in the car," he suggested, extracting himself and trying to pull me down with him.

"But we just came out, and the sun feels nice…"

He coaxed me down anyway, back to the driver's seat, where he proceeded to pull me onto his lap.

"Edward, there's no room," I complained, secretly loving that.

His brow furrowed in concentration, he maneuvered me on to his lap so I was straddling him. "Never stopped us before."

I wondered momentarily if he was being perverted.

"Bella," he sighed, motioning for me to shut the door.

He reached beneath his seat and pushed his seat back, giving us more room. I gave him a dubious look and glanced outside. No one seemed to be around, but still; it was Sunday and the last time we'd been on the beach there'd been fisherman up here.

He ran his hands over my hips and up my back. "You okay?" he chuckled.

Keeping my eyes on his, I tried to relax, resting my hands on his shoulders and leaning back a little. Except for the night he'd come to me in my bed, he was always the one to initiate, and even though we had been together a few times I still felt unglued when we were this close, when he touched me with his hands and mouth.

Edward's physicality was as daunting as it was delicious, and like the first time he'd put his lips on mine it made me yield, overwhelmed.

I loved it.

His hands were on the small of my back, and he was bringing me closer again, sensing my usual jitters. Undoing the first few buttons on my blouse, he leaned forward to place a kiss on the skin he'd uncovered. A shudder rolled through my body and I touched my forehead to his, at once weak and warm and wanting.

He loosed another button and skimmed his nose along the places not covered by my bra and I, in return, stroked my fingers through his hair and lay my cheek against it, closing my eyes and simply feeling.

Easing down the fabric of my bra, he pulled my nipple into his mouth and I jerked against him, not expecting the wet hot so sudden. He ran his tongue over the tip of my breast and then let it go.

I looked down at him, and he was looking up at me, his expression somehow seeming both carnal and pure. Lowering my lips to his, I kissed him intently. The minutes melted by and still we kissed and gradually our bodies started rocking, longing to be part of our mutual enjoyment. His hands moved low, helping me grind my lap a little harder against his. He arranged us so I was riding his erection and I pulled away, gasping a little.

"Wait-"

He looked dazed, his lips wet as he stared at mine.

"We can't… here," I stuttered.

Kissing my chest again, he drew me closer. "It's okay," he whispered.

"Okay," I acquiesced, pitifully easily, and nuzzled my face into his hair; it was silky and smelled so nice…

Tightening my thighs around him, I could feel him through his dress pants, hard against me. By this point I was quite wet, and probably getting him damp, but he didn't mind and so neither did I.

Keeping one hand around my waist, he kissed me hungrily, our tongues sliding against each other, deep… exploring. He moved his mouth to the swell of my breast, sucking lightly and then so hard it hurt. We were working toward something; I could feel it building, and I grabbed at him frantically, desperate to find the right rhythm.

I found it, he found it, and then we were coming apart, not together, but close enough. Whimpering quietly, I shook in his arms and lay against him, cold now that we'd expended all that heat. We inhaled and exhaled together, and his breath tickled through my hair.

After a moment, when my heart had returned to normal but I still felt giddy, I straightened up. Edward watched me, a lazy grin on his face, and began buttoning my shirt, pausing to touch the sensitive place where he'd almost broken skin.

"Don't let your Da see that."

"I won't," I promised, lifting myself off of him and climbing clumsily over the console. It was cold and empty on my side of the car and I was glad we'd not have to sneak around for too much longer, if he got his own place…

"So's that all we came for?" I teased, watching him grimace and fix his pants.

"Eh, what a feckin' mess," he muttered, looking around. I handed him a napkin and he accepted it, shaking his head. "We need to go, else I'll be in a state."

He reversed out, away from the bluff overlooking the water, and turned back onto the road.

"I like when we come out here," I sighed in contentment.

Edward looked back toward the shore as the road began to veer away from it. "It's nice to get away from all the shite, but it's never long enough."

I bit my lip, not wanting to get into things but sensing that maybe I should.

"Are you…going to be okay, Edward?"

"It is what it is. Nothing I can do about it now," he spoke in clipped tones, his face hardening as it had after confession earlier. "It doesn't… change anything."

The ache in my chest whispered back, always hovering at the edges. "I need you to know that I understand, and I'll do whatever you need me to."

"I know, Bella," he smiled gratefully at me.

And it was true. I'd do anything.

Edward drove both Alice and I to university on Monday morning for our exams. We arrived early, and split up at the library, taking separate tables for last minute studying. By mid-day, I was done but Alice was not; she'd told me earlier that she had plans to meet with Jasper though, so I walked home on my own.

Two exams down, four to go.

I knew Edward would be busy for the day, working for the courier service downtown and doing whatever else he did when he wasn't with me. Mikey waved from the opposite side of the street as I entered my neighborhood.

"How're ye keepin'? I called fondly, smiling at him.

He grinned back, shrugging. "Things could be a lot worse."

"Didn't y'have work today, Mikey?" I slid my bag off my back, trying to locate my keys as I neared my house.

"I did, yeah, but I've been comin' home for lunch lately, taking a bit of a break," he explained.

"That's good, you work too hard as it is," I answered.

He nodded. "I'd better be getting' back, though. Say hi to your brother for me."

"Alright," I waved to him as he left, and turned up my walk.

The sweet scent of scones met me as I soon as I opened the door.

Placing my shoes dutifully off to the side, I quickened my step and rounded the corner into the kitchen.

"When will they be ready?" I moaned, sniffing indulgently.

Mum shook her head, eyes twinkling. "Soon."

I gave her a quick hug and emptied my books onto the table, glad to spend time with her as I studied for the next day.

"How were the exams?" She inquired, coming to the table.

"They went well, actually. I'm much better prepared than I was last time," I assured her.

"That's good, love. Well, study up… we'll have a spot of tea when these are done," she tossed her over mitt on the counter and put on the kettle.

I gave Edward three scones when he picked me up the next morning, and if there was any doubt that he loved me it certainly evaporated when he started shoving them into his mouth and thanking me profusely with kisses . He had to work all day again, and Alice didn't have any exams until the next day, so I was on my own after that.

My time of the month had come the night before, making me feel frumpy and famished… constantly. Giving into my urges, I ducked into Ms. Fiona's candy shop on my way home from Queen's- if there was ever a time for sugary comforts, it was now. I chose a couple of candies for Edward and several chocolates for myself, eating one on the spot. There was licorice on the counter and it reminded me of Mikey, so I requested a little bag of it as well, knowing he'd appreciate the gesture whenever I next saw him.

My timing couldn't have been more perfect; he was ambling down his walk, probably about to return to his job, as I turned the corner. He laughed when he saw me.

"What's this, ye stalkin' me now?"

Crossing the street, I held out the bag of licorice. "I couldn't help myself," I grinned.

He took the bag, peering into it curiously. "Grand! Thanks, Bella."

I shrugged. "I stopped at Ms. Fiona's…"

We heard the familiar rumble of an RUC truck and I looked up, my heart sinking when it slowed to a stop in front of us.

"Feckin' gits," Mikey muttered, stepping forward so he was between me and them.

"Good afternoon," the officer in the passenger seat said, opening his door and getting out. He was flanked immediately by two others.

"Afternoon," I mumbled, trying to quell my anxiety. This was routine; they did this all the time. We just had the misfortune of being outside when they passed…

Mikey held his hands out. "I'm headin' back to work, yeah?"

"Oh that's right fine; it's not you we need to speak to."

Mikey shot an alarmed glance over his shoulder while I cowered back. "She's just a student –"

The tallest of the three came closer and peered at me. "Isabella Swan, is it?"

"It is," I confirmed, keeping my shaking hands on my backpack's straps.

He nodded briskly. "If you'll just come to the station, we've a few questions to ask."

I looked up and down the street; no one was really out, save Danny Crowley and a friend with their bikes on the opposite corner.

"C-couldn't ye just question me here?" I asked quietly.

The first one spoke up again. "No ma'am, our inquiries are of a delicate nature."

"But what's this about – she didn't do anything!" Mikey said, shaking his head in disgust. I put my hand on his arm to calm him, not wanting any additional trouble.

The tall officer took me by the arm. "Your brother's Emmett Swan and we all know you run around with Edward Cullen. Things have happened recently we think you might know something about. Don't play stupid, it'll only make things worse for ye later on," he snapped.

"Bella," Mikey leaned forward to take my free hand, and the third officer, who had been standing quietly off to the side, moved quickly, cracking his elbow across his face.

"Feck!" Mikey sank to his knees, holding his nose as blood started to seep through his fingers.

"Oh, my God! Mikey!" I cried, panicked. I glared at the men holding me. "I'd have gone with you – you didn't have to hit him!"

They ignored me and ushered me into the backseat of the truck. Looking wildly around, I made eye contact with Danny, who was gaping at the spectacle.

"Danny, go get my Mum!"

He took off, running up the street toward my house, right as Jessica Newton rode up in someone's car. The last thing I heard before they shut the door was her, screaming her brother's name.

I sank, trembling uncontrollably, into the seat and stared sightlessly at the streets as they passed. The officers didn't speak to me again, and I bit my lip viciously, determined not to cry.

Soon we reached a local RUC station, which, like many of the others, had been fortified as a result of harassment and even attacks by the IRA and PIRA. We were let through the gate and they brought the truck to a stop, roughly helping me out and leading me inside.

I'd decided I wouldn't say a bloody thing; they could feck off. I was disgusted with the manner in which they'd beat Mikey to the ground, like a feckin' dog, and the way they'd dragged me off for questioning with no real concrete reasons.

And out of all the days for this to happen, too. I'd a nasty case of cramps and all I'd wanted to do before this shite was take a scalding shower, get into bed and stuff myself with candy.

Edward was going to be livid, and so was Em, and me Da.

I fidgeted in the hard, uncomfortable seat they'd placed me in, waiting for someone to come and interrogate me so I could leave.

"Ms. Swan, this way please." I was deposited in a dim little room, put to sit at a wide table across from the tall officer who'd picked me up and another man I didn't recognize.

Tall officer tilted his head, making me feel like the prey to his predator. "D'you know why you're here?"

"No," I answered shortly, hoping my fear played off as annoyance.

"Where were ye last weekend?"

I frowned. "Right here with me Mum 'n Da."

"And where was your brother?"

My stomach tightened. "Around."

"What about Cullen?" He pressed, leaning forward.

"What about him?" I asked numbly.

The other man scowled. "Please, Ms. Swan. This would be so much quicker if you'd just cooperate."

Sighing, I dropped my gaze to my hands, feeling nervous heat pinprick across the back of my neck.

"So, let me ask again," the unknown man's voice dripped with condescension, and he enunciated each syllable slowly and specifically. "Where was Edward Cullen last Friday and Saturday?"