Cinna kisses my forehead, but I can't think about that.

My arm is still throbbing from where they inserted my tracker, but I can't think about that, either.

I can't think about the fact that in less than thirty seconds, I will begin a fight to the death with 48 other people.

One of whom happens to be my best friend.

One of whom happens to be my brother, for all intents and purposes.

One of whom happens to be the love of my life.

I. Cannot. Think.

I step into the glass cylinder which will raise me into the arena, where I will either lose my life or my friends.

It goes without question that I will lose most of myself, no matter how this goes down.

An automated voice fills the cylinder. Ten seconds to launch.

I tightly close my eyes, squinting my face. I try to conjure a picture of Prim in my mind, and try to hear her laugh, or her voice.

I can see her shirt, untucked in the back.

I can see her smile, and her braids.

I can picture her laugh, but I can't hear it.

I can only cling to pieces of my sister, I can't remember the whole picture.

I slam the glass as the platform beneath my feet rises.

After everything else, I can't even remember my sister, my dear little duck, completely.

I want to scream, but I can't find my voice.

I look around, and I realize that there's no time anymore. No time for remembering anymore. Only time to fight.

There is a number spiraling in gold above the Cornucopia, counting down the seconds until I can step off the platform, until I become a killer. Until every remaining second, every remaining minute of my life will be dedicating to fighting to ensure Peeta is the victor.

I close my eyes as the evil golden number drops below thirty, but this time, I have no time to trifle with thoughts drifting back to home. No, this time, I am remembering what Haymitch told us last night as we gathered around the dimly lit table, putting together the pieces of a final strategy.

"You guys have publicly declared and set yourselves up against the Careers. That means that you all are going to be their first targets," Haymitch says.

"Let them attack," Gale says fiercely. "I welcome it."

Haymitch smiles. "I have a better idea. Get to the Cornucopia first."

Peeta leans back in his seat, considering this.

"Get to the Cornucopia first, or you won't be able to support yourselves. You all have sponsors to spare, but President Snow is not going to let the odds be in your favor over the volunteers from Two. Everything will be priced higher for you, and the Gamemakers will be focused on you. You need to have the advantage. Get to the Cornucopia first, and make any allies you can as fast as you can. Target the Careers first, and then it should be downhill from there."

"Except for one thing," I say fiercely. "It means I become a killer as soon as the Games begin. And it gives me more friends I have to kill or watch die."

"I can't change that for you, Sweetheart," Haymitch says soberly. "I'd do anything to put an end to the Hunger Games."

He raps his knuckles on the table, and then stands up. "Get to the Cornucopia first. And try your best to stay alive, Sweetheart." He winks at me, and then leaves the room.

I open my eyes again to find a bright 10 spinning in the sky. 9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1.

A cannon fires. I sprint towards the Cornucopia, at least a foot ahead of everyone at this side of the large metal statue. I can't believe my luck when a bow is perched at the mouth of the Cornucopia. I quickly snatch it up, and fire arrows at two burly guys from District 1. The arrows sink deeply into their chest, and they are dead before they hit the ground.

I hear someone behind me, and I whirl around to find my arrow aimed in the face of Finnick's sweetheart, Annie.

"Going to shoot me, Katniss?" She smiles, and launches a trident at a small girl from District Three, who was coming at me with a spear.

"Not if you have a better idea," I say.

"Allies?" I nod, and we begin to fight back to back, killing five Tributes running at the Cornucopia.

The cannon isn't firing, but I see blood and gore everywhere I look. "Peeta," I mutter under my breath. "Oh, Peeta, Peeta, Peeta, where are you?"

"Should we try the other side of the Cornucopia?"

I nod, trying not to cry. What if Peeta is dead?

Suddenly I can't breathe.

I sprint to the other side of the large metal statue, and I see him, wrestling with Marvel, who is brandishing a spear. The second I get a clean shot, I send an arrow through Marvel's skull. Peeta is surprised at first, but he turns and sees me, and gives me a smile full of relief. One Career down.

The next few minutes are a blur, all I can feel is the relief flooding me when Peeta is beside me, nodding at Annie, and watching as I take down two more tributes. I'm already sick of the killing.

"Are you okay?" He asks me when there is no one left in the open field.

"I feel like I am going to throw up," I say. "Peeta...I just killed..." I can't finish my sentence, sobbing dryly when I realize that I have no idea how many people I've killed.

"Shhh..." Peeta says softly, pulling me into him and smoothing my hair. "Shh, Katniss, you didn't have a choice. You did what you had to do to survive."

"I'm a murderer," I shudder.

No one says anything.

Finally, "Where are Gale and Madge?"

Peeta furrows his brow. "I thought they were with you?"

I take off at a run, screaming. I don't care that I'm making noise, I have a loaded bow and I'm no longer afraid.

"Gale! Madge!"

I am numbly aware that Peeta and Annie are running behind me.

"Someone stay at the Cornucopia!" I shriek. I don't want to have killed all of those people in vain. Annie sprints back.

"Over here!" I hear Gale's voice call, broken.

I run to the fringe of the forest, where Gale is bent over, crying, over Madge, who is sweaty and gasping for breath, with a large knife wound in her abdomen.

"Kat...niss..." she gasps. "You're still...alive."

I nod. "Get her back to the Cornucopia," I say to Gale. "I think we have bandages."

He nods, eyes full of tears. Peeta and Gale carry her back to where Annie has set up camp, as I run ahead and search frantically for bandages and a first aid kit, medicine, anything. I hurry back to the others with arms loaded with medical supplies. I hurriedly pull Madge's shirt off, panicking at the gloss settling over her eyes. I quickly clean the wound, which, to my horror, is deep and bleeding out. I wrap several layers of bandages around her wound, but she bleeds right through them, and the pressure isn't bringing the light back to her eyes.

"Damn it," I say, wiping tears from my face. "Damn it."

I stop, because we have a limited number of bandages and as horrible as I am, I don't want to waste them on my dying best friend. I pull away, and grasp Madge's hand firmly.

Gale looks at me furiously, and sobs, "Why isn't Haymitch sending anything? WHY THE HELL IS HE NOT SENDING ANYTHING? SHE NEEDS MEDICINE!"

Madge takes a shallow breath and grabs his hand. "Because...I'm dying..." she takes another deep breath. "And...I was...going to die...anyways..." her eyes flutter closed, before she looks at us all with heavy eyelids. "Right, Katniss?"

I nod.

"It's better...this way." Madge says. She turns to Gale. "Kiss me?" she asks, a single tear sliding down her cheek. Gale nods, and leans over her, kissing her softly with shaking shoulders.

Annie is standing, looking solemnly over all of us. Madge's head is in Peeta's lap, and he is slowly stroking her hair, crying silently. I am tightly grasping her hand, refusing to let her go. Gale pulls away, and Madge takes one last shuddering breath, before becoming still forever.

Gale pushes me and Peeta away, pulling Madge into his arms, rocking her back and forth, shaking violently with sobs that are racking his entire body. His voice breaks, and I can't stand the sound of him in so much pain. I burrow myself into Peeta's chest, feeling teardrops drop onto his shirt. His own tears fall into my hair.

Finally, Annie says, in a clear voice, "Gale, you have to stop. It's too late. They need to collect her body now. And we need to set up camp."

Gale looks up, as if he's surprised to find himself in the Hunger Games. He gently sets Madge's body down on the ground, and kisses her forehead one last time. He collects the medical supplies in a pile around her, and walks stiffly into the Cornucopia. Peeta and I follow him, ignoring the sounds of the hovercraft that comes and takes the remains of my best friend.

Annie has found food supplies, and we all eat crackers for dinner. I volunteer to take first watch as Gale says, "First thing tomorrow, I'm hunting down Tributes. I'm ready to be done with these fucking Games already."

No one disagrees.