honestly think it goes a bit slow... plotwise, doesn't it? Maybe because I have a lot of juicy ideas in my head.
Oh, well well -- let the story take its course. Its a good ride though.
L.M


IX:
Two Kisses

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The joy of the dragging laziness that comes the day after Christmas, the bliss of sounds of nothing instead of breaking plates, roars of laughter's, screams and the occasional dragon soars that added to the sounds of Shell Cottage yesterday is so peaceful. This, this is perfect – right here -- sitting in my living room with the book on my knees. Her book, I needed to know from her how the story would go. My story that is, I won't say that I didn't thought of consulting my best friend but Hugo was already head over heels for Jacob and I needed female suggestions.

If Sev and Lily kissed and if it was good then maybe Jacob and I would too? He gave me a glass jar of fire and Merlin knows that if I didn't believe in signs I did now. The book, the glass jar, the dragon Lily – although I don't know what the dragon had to do with anything but it was still a dragon with her name and my name so that had to count for something.

"Give me some answers," I muttered to the book and read the entry on top.

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25 December 1974

(Also known as the day of my first kiss)

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I let the memory consume me, fill me up and take me to somewhere new. I fell, deeply and endlessly until the memories finally took shape into something solid that I recognized as the Muggle Studies classroom on fifth floor and the pitch black sky from the window to the left indicated that it was night. The classroom looked like it originally did, boring and very academic with the wooden desk, the small book shelves that were emptied out and the posters of an old telephone and one of the London underground systems. Most depressing was how the Muggle Studies classroom of 1974 looked exactly like the classroom I spent three dreadful lessons in before I decided to let Hermione teach me.

When I entered the memory I ended up in the end of the classroom while Lily sat on the teacher's desk anticipating something. Or should I say someone because I was sure that James or Severus would come anytime soon, a kiss considering these was the two options if I missed some mystery guy. Lily fumbled with her green bow in her hair and straightened her gray skirt more times than it was necessary and then looked anxiously at the Muggle clock, it didn't tell me much because there were no moons or planets orbiting, just numbers ticking. I got bored so I approached her, tried to feel comfortable in this new surrounding that was so familiar and I hit a table.

Hit being the word to consider.

I hit a table and I felt it, the pain was vivid and I could have sworn that it was real and not dreamlike like the chair or the cold snow I couldn't feel. This new thing made me a bit chocked at first and frightened but when Lily coughed and looked at the time again, sighing so clearly it meant something to her and I forgot to be afraid. She was here, it was her memories and clearly she let me be her too see it, somehow at least.

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It couldn't have gone worse. I waited for hours; I thought that maybe he knew that I had plans of jumping him and snogging him without him even wanting it so he didn't come. I mean I wouldn't snog him, I would kiss him. KISS HIM. It's a great difference and it was an experiment with a friend. I didn't think that the rumors of him kissing Tibby York was entire true (Mary laughed when I told her about it) but I didn't know why he wouldn't want to kiss me either so I reasoned like this.

Maybe Sev don't want to kiss me because I am a Gryffindor and he is a Slytherin.

That's what I thought at least

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I listened to the soothing voice reading the entry and realized that it was Severus that she wanted but he was nowhere to be found and it felt like hours, I too watched the Muggle clock at the wall repeatedly and thought that the ticking went too slowly. Abruptly enough Lily stood up, furiously and ran past me but stopped at the middle of the classroom when the door opened and Severus jumped in with agony and shame across his face and tied legs over his long black robes that were soaking wet.

The frustration in Lilys face disappeared in a second and turned into hurt.

Lily gasped and took her wand and released Severus from the ropes his feet were tied by. I was ready to curse whoever did this to Severus because he looked so weak and defeated in front of Lily that looked hurt and responsible.

"Sev?" Lily pleaded to Severus after he was released but he didn't utter a word and his arms were locked to his body.

"Oh," Lily said. I did not know why though but she whipped her wand once again and I saw Severus arms stretch out and then he pointed to his mouth. Lily nodded in understanding and mumbled a counter spell that made Severus burst into a lot of words rapidly.

"Gryffindors! Those arrogant, cowardly, self-absorbed, idiotic and…"

"Enough," Lily said stiffly with her childish tone disappearing and transforming into an adult tone that my mum easily could call her own. I however agreed with Severus that whoever tied his legs, cursed his arms and put a silencing charm on him was an arrogant, cowardly, self-absorbed, idiotic...

"Enough? Lily you don't know what they are up to and Remus..." Severus said and I saw him collect all the strength he had in his body not to flame upon Lily who stood there, arms crossed and defended whoever did that to him.

"Be careful with your words Severus, one day they might cost you. Gryffindors are not all those awful things you just said." Lily said disgusted.

"I didn't mean you. I meant Gryffindors," Severus said stiffly.

"I am a Gryffindor" Lily replied just as stiffly. I was standing in between them and saw the lump on Severus throat grow like he was going to break down in front of Lily but his face was as cold or restrained as usual. Lilys eyes were drilling their way into Severus brain before he finally broke.

"Fine, Pettigew, Black and especially Potter are arrogant, cowardly, self-absorbed…"

"Enough!" Lily burst out and their eyes blazed towards each other. I was taken aback by their fighting; they didn't seem as friends who fought.

"They were three against one and I were ambushed from the back. Gryffindor home of the brave," Severus said wryly. "I highly doubt it."

"I have nothing to do with Black or Pettigew, not now and not never."

"What do you have to do with Potter?" Severus started, his furious voice filling the abandoned classroom.

"Nothing at all," Lily stated sincerely and their eyes blazed towards each other again.

This was awkward, it was too awkward to be here in the middle of their fight about some awful things Potter and his posy had done to Severus. I had a hard time to accept that it was in fact my father's dad, my grandfather that had cursed Severus so cowardly…

"I am sorry," Lily said, breaking the silence.

"Do not apologize for Potter," Severus snapped.

"What I was going to say was that I am sorry for begging you to come here tonight," Lily said while ignoring Severus statement. Severus face twitched a little, I knew that he took her comment personal.

"Why did you beg me to come anyways?" Severus asked coldly.

"Oh, don't act all cold, you know perfectly well why we met this time every year," said Lily coolly, "but I don't know anymore," she added and looked out to the left against the window and the night.

I saw Severus stare at his shoes, fumble a bit with the hem of his black sleeve and shoot occasional glances at Lily who were straightening her skirt frequently.

"I didn't mean it, about Gryffindors and all," Severus finally said boyishly. The occasionally acting his age threw me off a bit, he could be such an adult at times but somehow when Lily was upset or acting what I would call hormonal Severus grew down to meet her at her level of age.

"I know but it hurt still," Lily told Severus stubbornly but met his eyes right in the middle of one of the glances Severus shot at her. This seemed to throw Severus off a bit; I saw his eyes go glassy and almost loosing themselves.

"Forgive me," Severus said, not apologizing but pleading and with eyes now trilling their way through Lily's eyes into her heart.

"I do," Lily said simply and smiled a small, sympathized smile with both lips and eyes.

Severus eyes shone and I realized, then and there, that he was in love with her.

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But it was James Potter, Potter realized where I was going (I poured the memory down in the previous entry because I don't want to spoil this one with that stupid memory) so he and his stupid friends went and hexed Sev. I can't understand how someone could be such a git as Potter.
I really really really don't like James Potter!

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Severus looked so pathetic in front of Lily with his torn robes, soaking wet from the prank that had been pulled on him and the long hair plastered to his face by the sides. The small location three meters in front of Lily that he chose to stand on during their fight was marked by a puddle that the dripping water was creating. I had no doubt that Lily felt the way I felt when I looked at Severus, but I knew something Lily clearly hadn't noticed. Severus was in fact in love with Lily, the way he carried himself around her proved my point but to her – he was just "Sev" and he acted like this, frighten, hormonal, obsession and almost childish when the matter of his heart was around him.
That being Lily.

"Promise me that we will be friends whatever I do or give you, okay?" Lily hesitated and Severus nodded where he stood. I knew that this was going to be more than an experiment for them both, perhaps for Lily but Severus…

I saw Lily pass me where I stood in the middle and approach Severus slowly who seemed to be glued down to the ground. The sound of two feet walking in the water indicated that Lily was close enough to grab hold of Severus wet robes. I watched her carefully and she did grab his shoulders, Severus looking stricken by her intruding in his personal space and she leaned closer to him.

"I don't know how to do this," Lily told Severus but I saw by the look of his eyes that he couldn't believe that this was happening. Lily bit her lip carefully as planning how to do the deed.

"Are you… like when we were small," was all Severus replied, staring at Lily petrified and exited so Lily smiled a small smile before she leaned in towards Severus wet body that I saw how her gray skirt absorbed the water along with her blouse.

"It's not like when we were small," Lily started and the blush on Severus cheeks spread slowly across, I knew that the quick breaths of Lily tickled Severus nose by the way he wrinkled it discreetly.

Lily placed her forehead against Severus, smiled into his black eyes and placed a careful kiss on his pale lips. It was a shallow kiss at first but it deepened at Lily's pace while Severus replied with caution and his hands stiffly to his side instead of on Lily's arched back. Lily held her eyes closed, unable to see the widening eyes of Severus that looked past Lily's nose to their locked mouths. Severus finally closed his eyes to let himself loose his constant guard. Lily's arms were resting around his neck and she waited hungrily for a reply of passion but it never came from Severus who, by his body language was afraid of doing something that might push her away. They stood there for a while with me watching over them only inches away like an unseen shadow and I saw how Severus hands twitched trying to decide if they should touch Lily who was grabbing every piece of wet cloak around his neck her tiny hands could get hold of. He finally placed one hand on Lily, carefully on her hip…

I never knew what happened next because my observation got interrupted by a call for my name from somewhere from a far. Maybe it was in the corridor I reasoned because this was not my memory and the call might have been for Lily. She was busy snogging, no correction kissing, Severus and might have ignored it but somehow I knew it was for me. I felt it. The name – my name was called again by the same voice and I felt my body slowly leaving the memory, seeing it blurrier and messier but it was still sweet and innocent before I shut my eyes to let the book or my mind take me back to the original world.

My reality.

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I found myself in my red nightgown, in my living room and heard the voice that I knew didn't belong to Hugo, dad or beware, my mum.

"Lily."

When I approached the magical fireplace in the flat I saw the messy brown hair, the scar that ran over a left eye and a victorious grin out of the fireplace.

"Finally, I've been calling for minutes and you've been sitting like that for hours."

"Jacob, oh I didn't hear you," I said, obviously the truth.

"And hey! Stop spying on me, I have to get a floo-alert!" I bust but Jacob didn't bother to respond.

"Must be a good book, what kind of book is it?" Jacob said cheeky.

I smiled. "I think it's a love story"

Jacobs smirk was clear through the fire, "I didn't expect you to be so girlish Potter."

I rolled my eyes at his statement but couldn't fight the smile; I didn't expect myself to be so girlish either.

"I want to talk to you about something," Jacob said finally and I realized that this was the reason he appeared in my magical fireplace.

"Floo here," I offered for the first time and Jacob disappeared back to floo himself properly. It would take him a good ten minutes to floo himself from wherever he was to my living room so I had time to wrap myself in a green robe before he got to see my unorthodox nightgown and promised myself that I would read the last sentences of Lilys entry so I could figure out what to do with this new temptation I felt towards Jacob. Lily had kissed Sev so maybe… maybe my story should go there too?

When Jacob stood in front of me, laughing at my green robe twelve minutes later I forgot all about what I should and shouldn't read.

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I never realized that Jacob had blue eyes, or at least this kind of blue eyes, they were ocean blue that had depth in them just like the ocean they resembled. We were about to say our goodnights after a heated debate of Thestrals (I loathed the animals, he loved them) before he flooed home so we stood there, in the light and I bathed in his ocean blues. To my defense I never stood this close to him in the light, only inches away – not close enough to kiss him but close enough to feel the strong spearmint toothpaste that he apparently used. He too observed me, my freckles I assumed by the look of his eyes on my nose but I was looking straight into his absent eyes. There was this spot in the left eye, where the scar would go if it went across his eye and the spot was gray almost like a mole but the small piece of gray held something in them that glittered. Why hadn't I realized this earlier? His eyes met me, blazing blue with glittering gray and they observed me hungrily, almost closing up to my soul behind my scull, reading my secrets and I shivered.

"I told you that I wanted to talk, right?" Jacob started and I nodded.

"I like you," Jacob said sincerely but didn't let his eyes drop. I was lost in admiring the gray spot in his left eye that felt so out of place but fitted so perfectly.

"Me too," I said with an absent voice and turned my head a little to the left to get a better view of the spot. I didn't know that I did like him before I said it out loud. I closed up to see the gray intriguing spot in his eyes and he had to assume something that was the only logical thing to explain his behavior.

"Hugo told me you would be alone," Jacob said slowly leaning in towards me with a small smile playing on his lips.

"So you talk to Hugo?" I said coolly but I couldn't avoid feeling warm, fuzzy, dizzy and lightheaded by the new smells I absorbed. Besides spearmint I felt the smell of cake, Uncle Charlie (assumingly dragon) and man perfume lingering around Jacobs's thick frame.

"Jelaous much?" Jacob said teasingly and grabbed my lower back with his big hands. I felt my knees bending inside but I kept straight, it would not be acceptable to be swooned by this arrogant git that I apparently liked.

"Mhmm…" I let out, not able to make any proper sound now that I felt his dominant hands on my body. I lost all sense of control and he knew so he took advantage by leaning in even more and met my forehead with his own.

"Too close for you, Potter?" Jacob asked me smiling at my reaction to my surname.

"Why don't you back off?" I asked him less harsh than I intended but he kept his smile.

"If you wanted me to move Lily Luna, you would never let me place my hands on your back," Jacob said and pulled me towards him to fill out the few inches our body had left between each other and breathed slowly as a contrast to my speeding heart.

He was probably right, I would never let anyone put their hands on me if I didn't desire them to be there so I placed my hand carefully on his chest to make sure that his heart was speeding too and the beats pounded fiercely against my hand and then he kissed me. Or I kissed him; either way there was a kiss that tasted spearmint, cake, tongue and heaven. It was never sweet at first, it was raw, passionate and wet while my hands played with his hair and his hands stroke my back teasingly. He deepened the kiss quickly and I replied with aggressive tongue too keep up with his skilled one. Our lips matched perfectly and the small infinity felt like a second when his lips left mine hungry for more. I held my eyes closed, sure that he observed me with his open ones and I knew that there was only one thing I could do and say to make him kiss me again.

I grabbed his face with both hands and felt the roughness of shaved facial hair, the silkiness of the skin on his cheeks and the smoothness of the scar across his face under my palms. For a second we did nothing more than stare into each other's eyes and then I pulled his face and his lips slowly back to my needing and hungry ones and I let them whisper,

"more."

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My secret was that I did not feel heaven or clouds or whatever you were suppose to feel. I know that I am only fourteen but I will be fifteen in a month and that is almost out of age so I should be able to feel what you were suppose too feel, right? It was not as perfect as the movies me and Tuney used to look at with mum, it was just… gooey? No, it was sticky, odd, a bit embarrassing to be honest and I thought that it was not as "fantastic" or "grand" or even "Sirusly wonderful" as Mary said yesterday. (But I didn't go for the Siriusly wonderful feeling exactly; nobody with sense would go for anything that had Sirius in it). It was to be telling the truth a bit bad at first but when Sev relaxed it got better; way better or maybe it was me who was stiff? OH! I DON'T KNOW!

I'm glad it was with Sev thought because he told me that I was good at it, I didn't ask about Tibby because who would like that. You know after a kiss and all. We tried it again and he promised that he still likes me, he said even more than I like him but I doubt it. Sev doesn't like people more than people like Sev but he likes me and that is good… AND he was pretty good at kissing so Tibby (if the rumor is true of course) should be glad and oh! I have another secret! But there is no point in hiding it here because Sev already knows this, he doesn't have to read minds and he defiantly felt it but I write it anyways.

I, Lily Evans am a horrible kisser.

Lily
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Review it if it deserves it.
xoxo
Lumos Maximus