Chapter 10: Baby Girl with Eyes the Size of Baby Worlds

"Dumbass!"

Thump.

"Dumbass!"

Thump.

"Dumbass!"

So maybe repeatedly knocking my head against my door wasn't the smartest plan.

It didn't help my situation.

It didn't magically turn back time.

It didn't make me any less of an idiot.

It did however give me a massive headache and a slight bump on my forehead.

I fall onto my bed and once again find myself screaming into my comforter.

I just don't understand why I froze. Why couldn't I just tell her how I felt, how I feel?

It's not that hard.

"Casey, I love you." I say out loud to myself.

See, simple enough.

Saying it to myself is one thing…but saying it to her is a completely different thing.

I know how I feel. There is no doubt in my mind that I love her. I just never expected her to feel the same way.

The fact that she does complicates things.

If all these feelings were one-sided then nothing would happen. I would eventually move on and no one would be the wiser.

But now…

I mean if we start something it doesn't just affect the two of use, but the entire family.

What would dad and Nora think? What would Lizzie and Edwin think? Would Marti even understand?

We would have to keep our relationship secret. We'd have to sneak around behind everyone backs and be fake to their faces.

Casey deserves better than that. She deserves a real relationship with someone who can take her out, who she feels comfortable with around her family. Someone who is good for her and who wont turn her into a liar or a fake…

"They what?"

My thoughts are interrupted by my father's voice resonating from the living room.

"Georgie calm down, we don't know exactly what is going on."

Wait, what are they talking about?

"Our children have been doing God only knows what with each other for God only knows how long under our roof and you are telling me to calm down?"

Oh shit.

Nora must have heard more than I thought. I get up off my bed and crack open my door.

"We don't know that they have done anything. All we know for sure is that something is going on."

I wish I knew exactly what she heard.

"I'm going up there right now and getting to the bottom of this."

"Now George, they are obviously very emotional at the moment, talking to them now will only upset them more and then they'll never tell us anything."

Thank God I really didn't want to have to deal with that right now.

"We can't just let them be together."

"George, like I said before we don't know what the situation is. You need to stop making conclusions with barely any information. They aren't little kids I think we should let them work things out themselves and whatever they decide we will deal with when the time comes, but for now you don't breath a word of this to either of them. Okay?"

"But Nora…"

"Not a word."

"Fine, but for the record I think this is a very bad idea."

"Noted."

Okay…okay this is good.

Yeah, it's a good thing.

Sure they know that something is going on with me and Casey, but they don't know what, they don't plan on interfering and they don't seem too freaked out.

Well at least Nora doesn't.

Things with Casey will definitely be easier without our parents getting involved.

LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD LWDLWDLWD

I wish things with Casey and I were awkward.

No lie. If things were awkward than at least things would be…well things.

But there is just nothing.

No Casey, at all. It's ridiculous really.

We live in the same house.

We go to the same school.

We even have some of the same classes.

But it's been days and there has been no interaction, at all.

She is surprisingly the queen of avoidance.

I'm sitting in English class staring at the back of her head and if things continue the way they have been, well, than this is the closest I will get to her all day.

I keep hoping she will turn around. All I want is for her to look at me. Just once. If our eyes were to connect, even for just a second than I know things would be okay.

They wouldn't be good, but they would be okay.

And trust me when I say that 'okay' is a big step up from where they are now.

"I was very surprised at your work."

I look up as Mrs. Roulston drops my paper in front of me and continues to hand the rest out.

I replay her words in my head. Surprised…what does that mean?

I take a deep breath and close my eyes tightly before flipping to the last page of my essay. Letting out the breath slowly I open one eye and let it stray a bit before looking at my mark.

87

Oh my God.

87

That is a seriously good mark. No just a good mark for me, but a good mark in general.

Anyone would be proud to get an 87.

I know I have a goofy smile plastered across my face but I don't care.

I have to tell Casey.

Without thinking I get out of my seat and make my way over to her.

She's staring down at her paper and doesn't notice that I'm standing in front of her.

I clear my throat.

Her sapphire eyes meet mine brown ones and instantly my smile disappears.

I completely spaced on our situation.

She looks so sad.

We continue to look into each other's eyes and for a second it's just the two of us again, alone like we were in the gym.

I kneel down in front of her being careful not to break eye contact.

Stop being a coward.

Just tell her how you feel.

I open my mouth to start but Casey beats me to it.

"What do you want Derek?"

Her tone isn't angry, or bitter, but it's not happy or enthusiastic either.

She just sounds tired.

"I…I…"

I can't do it. Not now.

I flip my paper open to the last page and place it on her desk. She gives me a confused look then brings her eyes down to look at it.

For a split second I can see her smiling. But then it disappears and she looks back up at me.

Our eyes connect and I get the feeling she is looking for something. I don't know what, but something.

"Congratulations Derek. You really deserve this, I'm happy for you."

I can tell she is being sincere. I can tell that she really is happy for me.

But everything is still so wrong.

I wish we could go back to the day in her room when I picked her up and spun her around. We were both happy then and everything was simpler.

"Uh, thanks," I say before getting up of the ground.

I start to walk away but turn to look at her one more time.

"Casey?"

"Yeah?"

"I couldn't have done it without you."

The corners of her mouth twitch upward slightly and she nods her head.

It's not much, but it's a start.

A/N: Gah!! It took me forever and I know it's not all that exciting, but it's more of a filler chapter than an eventful chapter so I think it's pretty decent!! Oh My God!! You guys are amazing. Seriously the amount of reviews I got for the last chapter was insane!! It was awesome. I hope you aren't disappointed with the follow up chapter. Anyways, review please!! I love the feedback…and exclamation marks apparently.