I reach across the table and dab the gravy on Trevor's chin with my napkin. He swats my hand away and growls.
"Knock that shit off," He hisses.
He shoves another fork full of poutine into his mouth. I'm actually feeling fucking good this morning. This fruity little café we're eating breakfast at is actually kind of charming. The birds are fucking chirping and the sun is fucking shining. We're at this cute fucking table on the patio. It's a bunch of fluffy perfect shit. All the guilt I felt last night has washed away. I have a fire in my heart and I'm out for blood. Trevor still seems a little wounded. I wish I could make it fucking perfect for him but, its just not in my power.
I can make that fucking pig bleed out and that's all I can offer. He eats like a fucking animal. He's getting cheese curds and gravy all over his fucking face. Every instinct in my body drives me to keep wiping his face. Jesus Christ, I'm not his fucking mother though. In this moment, I can't see the end of us as clearly as I used to. It's getting harder for me to imagine.
When we first got together it felt like everyday was going to be our last. We've been through some awful shit and now we're living the lives of fugitives on the run. Christ, I still love him so much. He's all I fucking have left anymore and I can't imagine letting him go. I can't keep watching him eat like this. The need for me to wipe his face is just too fucking real.
I watch the girls sitting at the table across from us. They're young, probably younger than Trevor by the looks of things. They're wearing pretty fucking, frilly outfits and have perfect fucking hair and skin. They cluck like a fucking group of chickens. I know I was that young once, I just can't fucking remember how that felt. I've felt like an old woman since the day I was born and, fuck, I'm not even an old woman yet.
Their eyes keep darting over to Trevor and they whisper to each other. I'm fucking invisible to them. He's handsome. I know it. They know it. But what they don't fucking know is he's mine and if they even lay a finger on him I'll break their fucking faces. The anger they make me feel reminds me of the promise I made last night.
"Baby," I say. "How are you this morning?"
He smacks his lips as he chews the greasy concoction in his open mouth.
"I could be fucking better," Trevor admits.
He lifts up the paper plate and tries to scrape off the last bits of cheese and gravy into his mouth. It drives me nuts when he slops gravy all over his fucking shirt. I can hear those fucking bitches giggling as they watch him.
"I know last night was rough," I say. "But we have plans to make."
He rolls his eyes and tosses the plate back onto the table. He lets out an obnoxious belch and wipes his face on his sleeve. He must fucking know how much that sets me off.
"I know, I know," I say. "I'm just very fucking motivated today."
Trevor starts watching those bitches too. Every time he looks at another woman it makes my blood boil. I still can't let it go that he cheated on me.
"I'm over here," I snap.
He cracks a smile and I instantly forgive him for the indiscretion.
"My heart only has eyes for you, hot stuff," Trevor says. "But my dick has eyes for everything with two legs and hole between its thighs."
It's the closest to a fucking apology I'm going to get.
"Stay focused, baby," I press. "I know you don't want to talk about this but, we need to."
Trevor starts to jiggle his leg. He's uncomfortable and I hate making him feel this way but I need to have this conversation.
"What was that bastard's name?" I ask.
The bastard that took Trevor and his brother into the woods, who let that horrific accident happen under his watch, I try to picture him in my mind, so I can have a new face to fixate my hatred on.
"Kenneth Manfield," Trevor says.
His voice is low and dripping with hatred. I reach across the table and take his hand in mine. I run my thumb across the back of his hand. My touch stops his twitching only briefly but, it's enough of a pause that I know my gesture of comfort was successful.
"Do you have any idea where he could be?" I ask.
Trevor's lip starts to twitch. I can see the rage starting to flicker within him. I need to tread carefully.
"No clue," He snaps. "No fucking clue."
I grip his hand more tightly. I need to fucking stop.
"How was your poutine?" I ask. "Was it everything you hoped and dreamed for?"
He lets out a very nervous laugh. It's over, Trevor, I'm not going to push you any farther. Today is your day.
"Yeah, yeah yeah," He says.
I stand up and take his empty plate to the garbage. I have no idea where to even begin with our search. All we have is a name. It's not fucking much but it's a start. I have Trevor and he'll be enough to help me narrow the search. When I sit back down at the table, I make sure to plaster I warm fucking smile on my face.
"What do you want to do today?" I ask.
Trevor seems completely taken aback by my question. He furrows his brow. He looks so fucking cute when he's confused.
"What?" Trevor asks. "You don't have the whole fucking day scheduled out?"
He still doesn't believe me. I'll fucking admit, I've been beyond controlling lately. Trevor's been busting his ass and hasn't had a real fucking break in months. Part of this desire comes from the guilt I feel over last night.
"Nope, today is your day, baby," I explain. "We do what you want to do."
His eyes light up. He fucking gets it now. Trevor doesn't know where this is coming form but he doesn't fucking care.
"Can I fuck those girls!?" Trevor begs gesturing to the stupid bitches at the table.
I just flash him the sweetest fucking smile I can muster.
"If you want to sign their fucking death certificate, go ahead, babe," I say.
He lets out a glorious cackle and I find myself giggling along with him.
"It pisses you off that I want to fuck them doesn't it?" Trevor asks.
"Of course it does," I say. "It makes me want to punch them in the fucking mouth."
The edges of Trevor's lips curl into a devious smile. I can see the spark in his eyes.
"Then the first fucking thing I want to do today-is watch you beat the fucking shit out of them," Trevor says.
At first, I just laugh. He can't be fucking serious. Once my laughter fades though I can still see that desire on his face. He does fucking want this. I've gotten into plenty of fights in my time. I've beaten the crap out of bitches that were twice the size of those girls.
"Are you serious?" I ask.
I promised him that this was his day. I have to hold up my end of the bargain no matter what.
"Abso-fucking-lutely," Trevor confirms.
I lean across the table and plant a kiss on his forehead. Once I get out of my seat and start walking over to them, I can hear him giggling with anticipation. The girls stop chattering as I come up to them. I'm not sure if I look the least bit intimidating but I'm damn sure I look crazy as fuck. I pull out the wire chair at their table and plop my candy ass down. They both look completely fucking disgusted with my presence. I put on a sunshine bright smile for them and flutter my eyelashes.
"Excuse me, ladies," I say.
Look at me, I sound like a proper fucking lady.
"I just couldn't help but notice you were checking out my man," I say. "And I'm afraid I have a major fucking problem with that."
Their eyes grow wider than the fucking cheap paper plates that are laying on the table. They glance at each other nervously. They laugh but, it's a sound that's filled with uncertainty.
"I don't know what you're talking about," the blonde one says.
I tilt my head to the side and smile.
"No, I think you fucking do," I press.
They both get up from the table. The blonde one is shaking like a leaf.
"We're gonna go, okay?" The brunette says.
No, you aren't fucking going anywhere. I grab the blonde bitch by the arm and slam my fist into her perfect fucking nose. Trevor's delightful cackle is ringing in my ears. The brunette starts to scream. I shove the blonde onto the cheap table and start pounding on her fucking face. Her friend starts smacking me with her purse. I barely fucking feel it. I feel the sweet rush of exhilaration as the bones in the blonde girl's face start to crunch beneath my fist. Now I understand why Trevor loves this shit so much.
I grow tired of the brunette's futile attempts to stop me. I slam my elbow into her throat and she lets out a desperate choke. The other people at the cafe start screaming and crying. Someone runs indoors and starts shouting at the baristas. Time is short now. I knee the bitch in the stomach and she falls to the ground. Trevor's screaming with complete and utter fucking delight. I can hear him clapping his hands as he cheers me on. I feel like I am on top of the goddamn world right now. I keep kicking that dumb bitch in her ribs until she stops screaming.
"Do not fucking look at another woman's man! Do you fucking get that now!?" I scream.
I hope to get a moment to catch my breath but, I can hear sirens coming down the road. The cafe is filling up with sounds of sobs and hushed voices. It has come time for us to depart, my love. I hope you're fucking happy. He's beaming as he runs over to me.
"I fucking love you," Trevor declares.
I can see the lights of the cop cars peaking over the horizon. Time's up. We run over to the SUV we stole this morning and climb in. He straps himself into the driver's seat and turns on the ignition. I can just feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I can't believe that the bitch has nothing to say at all right now. My heart is pounding in my chest and I fucking love the sheer look of joy on Trevor's face.
He backs out of the parking lot at full speed and slams into one of the cop cars. He pulls forward and the sound of metal scraping against metal hurts my ears. Trevor laughs. Jesus Christ, does he fucking laugh. He swerves down the highway. Cars veer out of our way and slam into the barriers. The red and blue lights are still flashing in the rear view mirror and the sirens still sound as if they are right next to us.
It feels like lava is coursing through my body. I'm on fire with excitement. The bitch is silent and it is the most glorious fucking feeling in the world. I feel no fear, I feel no hesitancy. I get it now, Trevor. I fucking get it. My whole body tingles with the pure exhilaration that has overwhelmed me. A logging semi breaks over the horizon and it's horn blares as we approach. Trevor just cackles and slams his foot on the gas. I brace myself as we careen towards it. For a split second, I think we're going to slam right in to it but at the last second, Trevor jerks the wheel and we veer out of the way.
The semi doesn't have enough time to respond. It topples on to it's side as it tries to get out of our way. We fly past it as it skids along the road. Sparks blast away from the trailer as it skids across the asphalt. The cop cars don't stand a fucking chance. There's no where for them to go. They try to swerve out of the way but the semi still slams into them. I gasp as I watch the semi go up in a glorious ball of flames.
The sight brings me nothing but pure and utter arousal. Trevor's laughter rings in my ears and I'm filled only with desire for him. Never in my entire life have I felt this fucking way. It's a borderline sexual excitement that has me starving for more. Is this how he feels everyday? Is that what it's like to live in his world?
"Did you fucking see that!?" Trevor cackles. "That was fucking amazing!"
His face is plastered with elation and he is radiating a psychotic energy that is infectious.
"And did you see those fucking bitches!?" Trevor roars. "You turned them into strawberry fucking jelly!"
I can barely focus on his words. I want to fuck, I want to steal, I want fight. I want to keep going until we fall over dead. An electric current is running through me and all I want is to make chaos with him. He's absolutely fucking nuts and I am too.
"I want you," I plead.
Trevor erupts with laughter and flashes me a devious grin.
"Look at fucking you," He hisses. "Madam Tight Twat has gotten herself a taste of the good life hasn't she?"
I can't resist him. Trevor Philips, I want you and I can't wait anymore. I start kissing him along his neck, relishing the sensation of his stubble against my lips. My hand dives down the front of his trousers and I lace my fingers around his cock. His breathing starts to quicken and I know I'm having an effect on him.
"Please," I beg. "Please, I fucking need you right now."
He grabs me by the hair and pulls me away. I barely even feel the pain on my scalp. His eyes are burning with desire and a sick smile starts to curl at the edge of his lips.
"Now, now," Trevor coos. "I'm in charge today, remember? This goes down on my fucking terms."
I'm shaking I want him so badly. I don't want this high to end. He pushes my head into his crotch. He groans and the sound fills my body with an even deeper need. I won't let him finish. Not like this. I want more. He can't take it anymore either. He pulls off down a gravel trail and the SUV careens into the forest. Branches smack against the windshield as we rumble down the road. I'm not even sure if its an actual road but, I can find no fucks to give.
He keeps driving until there's only forest visible in the rear view mirror. When the car comes to a stop he pushes me off of him. Sweat is dripping down his face and his cheeks are flushed.
"Get out," Trevor says.
I slink out of the car. The forest air is cool and I feel goose bumps erupt across my chilled skin. I watch him get out of the car like a lion watches a gazelle.
"The tree, get the fuck against it," Trevor hisses.
I back up slowly. I just don't want to tear my eyes off him. I take in every inch of him, every curve of muscle, every jagged scar. He is all I will ever want in this crazy life. I feel my back brush up against the rough bark. His eyes are glued to my body. The feeling of Trevor's gaze on me fills me with desire.
He grabs me by the ass and hefts me up into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist and drape my arms around his neck. I press my mouth over his and we kiss. Our jaws dance as our tongues slide in and out of each other's mouths. My pants rip as he tears them away from my body. I don't fucking care.
This isn't love making. This isn't the product of that tender emotion. This is an act fueled by his psychotic rampage. We are animals. I hold nothing back and neither does he. With every grunt of pleasure that passes through his lips, I grow wilder. I never want this feeling to go away. I want to live in this moment, right fucking here, forever.
When he finishes he lets out a cry so loud that it echoes throughout the forest. I cling to him desperately. I want to hold on to this feeling as long as I can. He nuzzles his face into my neck. I can feel my clothes sticking to the sap of the tree. Our bodies are lathered with sweat making our skin feel sticky. We gasp as we desperately try to catch our breath.
"What next?" I whisper.
I can feel his breath on my neck as he laughs. I pull him in closer and run my fingers along the back of his neck.
"I want to fucking fly," Trevor says.
My heart breaks when I hear his request. How long has it been since he flew? It must've been over a year ago. I don't how I can possibly fulfill this desire but, I have to. I won't break my promise to him.
"There's a map in the glove box," I say. "We can check and see where the nearest airport is."
He sets me down as gently as he can. I feel the adrenaline rush slip away as our bodies lose contact. I don't want to come down from this high. I want to feel this way as long as I fucking can. The bitch was silent and it didn't take drugs, or cleaning, or picking, it took something new and exciting.
"I'll check the map," Trevor says. "You get dressed."
He zips up his fly as he walks back to the SUV. That thing is absolutely fucked after our adventure. The paneling is gnarled and all the black paint has been scraped off of the sides. The tail lights are gone and I doubt we'll be able to open up the back hatch. The zipper on my jeans is completely busted and some of the seems have pulled a part. It's easier to slide into them now. I can feel the slickness of his seed between my thighs and the bitch starts to whisper. We didn't wear a condom. I don't want to deal with this right now.
I watch Trevor spread out the map on the hood of the car as I walk over to him. I push the bitch's thoughts out of my head. This is his day. I will not let my bullshit take this away from him. Trevor traces his thick finger along the lines of the map. I can't tear my eyes off of him. His dark hair clings to his forehead in clumps and sweat drips down his temples. His eyes flicker up from the map and meet mine. I'm fucking done. I could have him again right here on the hood of this jeep.
"What?" Trevor asks.
"Nothing," I say. "I'm just trying to figure out how we're going to steal this plane."
It's not a total lie. I don't honestly know how we're going to pull this off. We'll need to get a new ride. What the fuck will we do when we have the damn thing anyway?
"There," Trevor says, pointing to a spot on the map. "It's about an hour away, it's a tiny air field. The security shouldn't be bad. We can cut through the fence. And then bam! We'll be fucking in the air, Momma!"
"Yes sir," I say.
He grabs me by the arm before I can get back into the jeep. When I look into his eyes, he seems deadly serious.
"Thanks for this," he says.
"Don't thank me yet," I say.
We jack a station wagon from an old couple on the highway. Holding the gun to their face brings back the high I felt earlier. It's a blessed relief to me. The bitch tormented me the entire hike back to the main road. I could feel the residue of our encounter on the tree seeping into my underwear and all I wanted was to scrub the fuck out of my privates. I'm smarter than this. I need to let this go.
The station wagon handles like shit when Trevor drives it. With all the traveling we do I just can't fucking believe that he is still a shitty driver. He seems nervous. I attribute this to the fact that he wants this to work out so badly. He wants nothing more than to grip the yolk of the plane and feel the dip in his gut as he lifts the craft off the ground.
I want to see it happen to. I never got to see him doing what he loves. What he loved. I want to see that fucking smile on his face when we're soaring through the clouds. Trevor says little on the drive to the air field. I suspect it's because he actually isn't fucking sure how we'll pull this off. I won't speak. I won't make a suggestion. This is his heist, this is his day. We do it his way even if we end up behind bars for it. If anyone is going to be able to steal a plane in broad day light, it'll be him.
On our left we see a break in the trees. He grips the steering wheel more tightly and shifts in the seat. He knows exactly what the flat stretch of land is. I'm surprised at how short the fence is. I've never had to a hop a fence, especially not one with barbed wire along the top. Trevor can't keep his eyes on the road when we see the small craft parked by the hangars. It's nothing serious business, just crop dusters and biplanes for skydiving. I place my hand on his shoulder to bring him back to the road.
He pulls off to the shoulder and puts the car into park. The wind is whipping through the blades of grass and whistles as it goes by the cracked windows of the car. His gaze is glued to those fucking planes. I always knew this was something that was significant in his life but it really hits home now.
"See one you like?" I ask.
I want him to know I'm still in on this. He doesn't even look back to me to respond.
"Yeah-" he says.
He doesn't sound sad but, I've never seen him concentrating this hard on anything . He wants this fucking bad. I dig the wire cutters out of our suitcase and plop them in his lap. That manages to snap him back to reality. A devious expression spreads across his face as he gazes down at them. He grips them tightly in his hand and then pushes open the car door.
Here we go. I can't see this ending well but fuck, today has been so amazing I don't care if it's our last. I go around to the trunk of the car to get our stuff but he stops me.
"No," Trevor says.
I don't question him. If he wants to leave behind all our money and clothes than fine. He writes the rules today not me. By now I've learned how easily such things can be replaced. The sky is clear except for a few wispy white clouds that are riding along with the wind. We're going to be up there? Its hard for me to imagine. I don't know shit about flying. Fuck, I don't even know if he can fly one of those damn things. How different is it from a fighter jet?
Trevor's arms bob up and down as he cuts through the wiring of the fence. I feel the buzz start to kick in. It makes me jumpy with anticipation. Fuck, I really want to pull this off. If we fucking make it out of this day alive I will spend the rest of my fucking life with him. I'll never tell him about this silent declaration. Trevor pulls apart the fencing and nods for me to crawl through.
I don't have a problem going in, but he does. His clothes catch on the fencing and he curses as he tears his shirt. I help him to his feet and he pulls on his shirt to get a better look at the tear.
"Bullshit," He hisses. "Lets just get this fucking show on the road."
"How-how are we going to get in one?" I ask. "I mean, we can't just smash the window-can we?"
"I'll worry about that," Trevor assures.
As we get closer to the air craft I marvel at how big they are. Fuck, they don't look so big from far away but once you're up close like this they're intimidating. He makes a b-line for the sleek yellow job sitting in the hangar. The wind is howling as it gets trapped in the rusty sheet metal walls. We're lucky as fuck that no one is here. But shit, we don't really know that do we?
He stands in front of the yellow plane for a moment. Trevor's shoulders slump and his face looks pained.
"Can you fly it?" I ask.
He won't look at me. To him this is the most beautiful thing in the entire creation of the universe.
"Yes I fucking can," Trevor assures. "Just give me a fucking moment okay?"
I back away. He walks around the perimeter of the craft. I watch him run his fingers along the metal as if it's the body of a woman. This shit has gotten too heavy. I still feel the faintest trace of exhilaration making my chest tense up. I want to see him fly. I want to know this mistress that has meant more to him than I ever did. I'm not sure what triggers it but some hidden voice in Trevor drives him to jump up and start fucking with the lock on the plane's door.
It doesn't take him long and the door swings open. Fuck, this is happening. My heart starts to race. He helps me crawl into the plane. It's far more fucking cramped inside than I was expecting. I can feel his hand pushing on my ass and I slide into the tiny goddamn seat behind the pilot's. This isn't how I imagined it in the car. I can't see shit. I barely fit back here. This isn't about me though.
Trevor climbs into the plane and slams the door closed. He can't quite get it to latch. That's fucking wonderful. He slams it closed a few more times and the door sticks. He's been so silent that I'm a little worried. He's so fucking focused. I can barely fucking contain myself. He lets out a cackle and all my doubts wash away.
"Fucking key's in the ignition," Trevor says. "Are you read for this, Momma?"
I strap myself in and tighten the belt across my waist.
"Fire her up, Trev," I say.
I watch him put the headset on and listen to the sounds of the straps clicking as he puts them into their proper place. The engine roars, it literally fucking roars. It's louder than the fucking explosion earlier this morning. His hand darts across the control panel as he flicks on the various switches. It's like watching someone conduct a fucking orchestra.
The plane lurches forward and I'm so excited I could retch. It was one thing to hear him talk about this all the time but to actually see him at work? Fuck, I'm done. Panties have been creamed. The plane creeps out of the hangar and I actually feel like my heart is crawling up my throat. He coasts the plane out onto the runway. Fuck, this is nuts. We're really fucking doing this. There's no fucking cops. We're going to get away with this.
The plane picks up speed as we go down the runway. It's the roughest fucking ride of my life. It feels like my stomach is falling through the floor as he pulls the plane up. I love every fucking minute of it though. The plane dips and sways as he levels it out.
"Fuck yeah, baby!"
I've never heard him sound this happy. The feeling it gives me is indescribable. The plane just keeps climbing and climbing. With every foot we ascend into the air his joy escalates. This isn't the same thrill I got from the car chase. Not even close. This is a beautiful fucking moment but, sadder than hell. This right here, this was all he ever fucking wanted.
We reach the right altitude and he's shaking the fucking yolk he's so goddamn excited. I feel myself starting to cry. Fuck it. I wish he could have this everyday. I wish I could hear this joy in his voice all the time. He's just a kid. Hes just a sad fucked up kid that's been shit on his whole life. The plane lurches to one side and I struggle to hold back my vomit.
It's like we're dancing in the sky. The plane dips, loops, and twirls through the wispy clouds with a grace that I never imagined it's pilot could possess. He lets himself go up here. He laughs like a kid in a fucking candy store. I'm too overwhelmed with happiness to give a shit about how his maneuvers make me want to puke. He levels out the plane again and when he speaks it sounds like a completely different man.
"Where do you want to go, hot Momma?" Trevor asks. "Anywhere you fucking want-"
Anywhere I want? Shit more like as far as the fuel tank will take us.
"To Canada, my boy!" I say. "I don't care fucking where. Just take me there."
I don't think I will ever feel happier than I do right fucking now. It's like some shitty fucking romance movie. We're literally flying off into the horizon. Fuck the rules. Fuck the bitch in my head and fuck Trevor's never ending rage. This right here made it all fucking worth it.
I'm actually finding myself drifting off now and then. I try to focus on his voice as he talks to me but it becomes harder and harder. This blissful contentment shit is really fucking relaxing. I give up on trying to stay conscious. I have never had such a peaceful slumber in my entire life. No nightmares of past abuses or the bitch's worries. I just dream of his face as his voice lingers in on the outskirts of my own personal dreamscape.
He shakes me awake. My eyes flutter open and I can see that twilight has fallen. It's dark in the plane and I can barely make out the strong features of his face. All I need to see is that smile on his face. I can't feel the sensation of motion. We're on the ground now. I can't get over how fucking quiet it is.
"Wake the fuck up, sunshine!" Trevor says. "You're a genuine Canuck now!"
I have nothing to say to him. I just grab him by the neck and pull him in for a kiss. This day was absolutely fucking perfect. We made it out of this crazy fucking adventure alive. He seems just as eager as I am to end it all with a good fuck. We'll certainly have a giant fucking mess to clean up tomorrow. We almost don't have to think anymore when we tear off each other's clothes. I don't even need to see his body to know where all my favorite parts lie. It's cramped, sweaty, and just a nasty mess but I love every moment of it.
I hold him in my arms after it's over. He drifts off to sleep as I stroke the strands of hair that tickle his forehead. I trace the lines of his face with my fingertips. I will never be able to forget his face. How was your day, my sweet fucking prince? Was it perfect? Did it make up for the hell I've put your through? Did it heal all our wounds and turn us in to a normal fucking couple? Because it certainly feels like a miracle has been worked over on me.