Disc.: Standard disclaimer of using but didn't create.
Chapter Nine
Lily stood on the sidewalk, head tilted slightly to the side with a frown on her face. People bustled around her, some bumping into her but most clearing her by milimeters as they hurried here and there. Behind her was Theron, hands on the trolley, waiting. He looked at his mother, concerned.
"Mum?" Theron nudged her with the trolley.
"Has this place always been called King's Cross?" Lily asked him. He shrugged.
"I dunno," Theron replied.
"You know, I think I've been calling it King's Crossing all these years," Lily laughed. She turned to her son and grinned. "Apparently, no one thought to correct me. Learn from my mistake."
"Gotcha, Mum," Theron laughed. "It's called King's Cross. Filed away."
"Let's get you on this train. Wait until you see it, Ther, it's amazing," Lily promised as she took over pushing the heavy trolley toward the platforms. She glanced at him. "Do you remember which one?"
"Of course! Nine and three quarters!" Theron exclaimed and whooped loudly. A few people glanced over at them, but Lily didn't pay them any mind. Her son was excited about his first day and she couldn't imagine it any other way. She paused for a second, a brief image flashing of her and Scorpius standing on the platform, arm and arm waving enthusiastically to their son. Lily swallowed the lump that had formed.
"It's best to take it at a slight run if you're nervous," Lily instructed her son with a grin. He smirked, that painfully beautiful and familiar smirk before taking off toward the barrier, it melting away as he cleared it. Lily took a deep breath and breeched it.
"Mum, it's..." Theron gasped as he stood in awe of the scarlet colored train, white plume of smoke easing out of the stack.
"I know, Theron," Lily joined him, staring at the train herself. In a flash of memory, she remembered in complete detail how Scorpius looked to her, so big and strong, that first day she was to ride the train. She took a shaky breath and pushed forward. "Let's get you settled, okay? I'm sure Sarah and Tina are around here."
"You think Uncle Albus is still mad at you?" Theron asked. Lily glanced around before focusing on him.
"If he is, it's nothing for you to worry about, okay?" Lily promised. "I shouldn't have left you guys alone so much, and I can understand his anger with me."
"I wasn't trying to get you in trouble with him, Mum," Theron promised, taking her hand with his, much like Scorpius used to do, and giving it a quick squeeze. "It's his loss."
"Oh, Ther, you're so much like your father sometimes," Lily exclaimed, throwing her arms around her sweet little boy. "I'm surely going to miss you."
"Mum," Theron complained weakly as he hugged her back. "I promise, I'll be good."
"I know you will," Lily chided. "You don't want me sending you any howlers."
"Not like your first year, huh?" Theron ribbed, causing Lily to laugh.
"I knew I shouldn't have shared that story," Lily groaned.
"No, Mum. I'm glad you did. I'm glad you shared all of Dad's stories with me," Theron shared. He took a deep breath. "Sometimes, I feel him. Right in my heart, Mum."
"He'll always be with you, Ther," Lily promised.
"I know," Theron nodded. He sighed and smiled slightly. "Guess I should go put my things on the train."
"Do you want my help?" Lily asked him. Theron scrunched his nose up, an expression that was all Lily and shook his head.
"I've got this, Mum," he told her, taking the handle of the trolley.
"I'll be right here. Don't forget to say good-bye," Lily reminded him. He nodded.
"Of course, Mum. I'll be back. I promise!" Theron tossed over his shoulder as he headed toward the train. The words cut like a knife, an echo of years passed when Scorpius made the very same promise.
"It's not the same," Lily murmured aloud to herself, starving off the killing blow that suddenly clawed at her heart.
Lily crossed her arms, watching as parents milled around her. She felt alone, really alone, for the first time in a long time. Everyone around her seemed so happy, celebrating the next stage in their little witches and wizards lives. The noise was growing deafening.
"Kind of sucks, huh?" a quiet voice offered. Lily spun around to see Maggie standing there.
"Excuse me?" Lily asked.
"The first day, their very first day," Maggie explained, gesturing to the scene before them. "Being here, seeing off your only offspring. Alone. It kind of sucks."
"Yeah," Lily agreed, her voice in that same hushed tone that Maggie used. Lily tried to remember if she'd always been so soft spoken. Lily couldn't remember any more. It had been too long.
"You're working under the minister, aren't you now?" Maggie asked. Lily nodded once, suddenly very uncomfortable.
"His assistant," Lily told her.
"Ministry jobs are very good," Maggie murmured. "I'm back in payroll, of course."
"Of course?" Lily replied questioning. Maggie looked as if she was going to say something when a young man bound up to her.
"Mum, I found the prefect's car easy-peasy," he said to Maggie. He glanced at Lily and smiled before returning his attention to his mother. "I can't wait to go to Hogsmead."
"I know, I know," Maggie said, hugging her son. She looked meaningfully at Lily, embracing her son.
"I'm going to go help some first years get their trunks on," he said as he pulled away. "I'll owl you when I get settled. I love you." Without waiting for Maggie's response, he raced back to the train. Maggie stood there, looking at Lily.
"He... oh, Merlin, he look just like James," Lily gasped, tears swimming in her eyes. She pressed her hand to her chest hard, trying to fight back the sob that was threatening to shake her. "Sounds like him, too."
"Yeah," Maggie replied with a sharp nod. She pressed a handkerchief into Lily's hand "Your boy's coming." Lily blotted her eyes quickly before plastering on a smile and turning quickly.
"Get loaded okay, Ther?" Lily asked with a bit too much levity to her voice. He paused, hesitantly nodding once.
"I did, yes," he told her. "I came to say good-bye. It's nearly time."
"Owl me when you get a chance," Lily told him as she drew him into her arms. "I want to hear all about your sorting and your house."
"Will do, Mum," Theron promised. "You'll be okay, right?"
"Of course! You do well, and stay out of trouble," Lily squeezed him tightly before releasing him. "I love you."
"I love you, too, Mum," Theron grinned before heading back towards the train. Lily watched him pause at the door, waving before he disappeared inside the car.
"Looks like we both have a very painful reminder," Maggie offered gently. Lily glanced at her, nodding once with tears in her eyes. Maggie shared the same watery smile. "I wouldn't have it any other way, except of course, having James here."
"Yeah," Lily agreed before a tiny sob escaped. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, please," Maggie urged. "He was your brother."
"He was your husband," Lily squeaked, trying to mop the tears up as quickly as they flowed. Maggie dabbed her own eyes.
"I was lucky," Maggie promised. "I had some good years with him before he died. Petri still remembers him."
"Oh, Maggie!" Lily sobbed loudly, causing a few people to glance over as Lily propelled herself into the woman's arms. "If I hadn't insisted to James-"
"Don't think about it, Lily," Maggie urged in a hurried whisper. "James was a grown man. He knew what he was getting into well before he made that promise. Trust me, YOU were NOT responsible for his death. They were doomed before they even started."
Lily pulled back, looking at Maggie curiously as Albus stormed up to her, Kate in tow. Lily pulled away from Maggie, facing her brother. He stared at the two of them sternly, warning flashing in his eyes as Kate stood by, the round stomach of pregnancy obviously flattened greatly and a squalling infant in arms.
"Here to see your son off?" Albus asked, his voice hard.
"Yes," Lily replied almost timidly. She'd never feared her brother before, even as a child, but she found herself cringing slightly at the edge in his words.
"Best of luck for him," Albus replied.
"Sarah, too," Lily replied genuinely. The sharp edge to his glare softened fractionally, him nodding before departing quickly as the train whistled and began to move. Lily looked away from him, eyes searching the train for her son. She grinned as she saw his wildly waving hand and she waved back just as wildly, watching until the train was gone from sight.
Lily turned back to Maggie, only to find that she was standing alone on the platform. Around her, most of the parents had already departed, with a few stragglers being first timers. She smiled at a sobbing mother, being consoled by her husband before she apparated.
Lily opened the door to the apartment, the silence deafening. She closed the door behind her, looking around the now much too large apartment. She walked around, picking up different things that Theron had left laying about, random books and toys. She could have used her wand to return everything, but there was something more solid and certain about holding the tiny metal cars and planes in her hand, their cold weight as she entered his room and placed them in their bins.
Lily opened the small drawer on the table next to Theron's shoddily made bed to put away his a few of his little leaden army men. In the drawer, hidden poorly under a single sheet of paper were postcards. Lily sunk down on his bed, scooping up the cards. She flipped through them, each one addressed to her son, unsigned, with that painfully familiar handwriting.
She choked on the latest one, the one that must have come sometime early in the morning. She traced the words: May your first day be great. Whatever your house, I'm proud of you.
Anger boiled up, replacing the hurt and sadness. How could he do this to her; to their son? The boy needed his father, on this day as well as any, but to arrange for these postcards to torment him like they tormented her. Lily slammed the drawer shut as the door bell chimed. She marched across the apartment and flung the door open.
"What?" Lily snapped before she could stop herself. Damon was standing there, dressed in jeans. Lily had gotten so used to seeing him in his work robes that she'd nearly forgotten what he looked like in his regular clothes.
"Did I come at a bad time?" he asked. Lily crossed her arms.
"Actually, you did," Lily told him.
"Anything I can help you with?" Damon offered. Lily looked at him for a second before dropping her arms. She grabbed his hand and pulled him in the apartment, dragging him behind her. He didn't struggle until they breeched the threshold to Theron's room. "What are we doing in here?"
"Just wait," Lily told him as she dropped his hand. She jerked the drawer open and took the postcards out. She held them out to him. Damon entered the room, sitting on the bed next to her as she sunk down on the mattress. He took the cards and flipped through them.
"Lily," Damon set them aside, turning to her.
"Damon," Lily frowned at him, crossing her arms. "I have to know."
"Even if I knew, I couldn't tell you," he explained. He reached to her face, brushing the stray tear away.
"I thought the hurt had stopped," Lily sniffled quietly, not making eye contact. She slid easily into his arms, resting her cheek on his shoulder. He circled her with his arms.
"I know," he brushed the top of her head with his lips. She tilted her chin, looking up at him.
"Damon, I have a hard time believing you know nothing," she challenged. Damon twitched slightly, moving to break the contact slightly. Lily bit her lip, pressing her finger tips against his spine slightly. She moved forward, pressing against him.
"We should probably go back to the living room," he choked out, prying himself from her grip. She let him go, watching as he stood. He offered her his hand, which she dropped her gaze as she put her hand in his. He scooped the postcards up, causing her to jerk her head up. "I will get to the bottom of this, Lily. I promise."
"Okay," she nodded once. He cupped her face in his hand delicately, studying her face with his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something to her, like it pained him to keep his mouth shut and the words deep inside. He leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers gently. She sighed softly, her mouth parting. Damon growled, the sound muted, swallowed whole by Lily as he buried his hand in her hair roughly, tugging slightly as he pressed against her in the hallway. The postcards fluttered forgotten to the floor, falling among the discarded clothing, in a trail heading straight to Lily's master suite.