Hiya, I'm hoping that I post this soon, since I'm in the mood to write. And yes, this is started the same day I posted chapter nine. So I know for sure that it is chapter ten XD. So here it is, whenever this gets posted...

Ch. 10

All of us at the dinning table were extremely quiet, so quiet, that our forks weren't even heard when we scraped the plate picking up another bite of the quiche like thing. It was really kind of spongy, and I didn't really like it at all, but I didn't say so. The silence was awkward for me, probably only because of my talk with Ange. Was it always so quiet here though?

I hear paws running into the dinning room, and, like the other day, get trampled by Bennie and end up falling sideways with the chair. I groan in pain. Seriously? Again? Someone pulls Bennie away from me, and I hear some laughter somewhere in the background.

"Oh god, is she okay this time?" I hear someone say, it sounded distant.

"Mother, go get me a white towelette please? Damp would be best." Sara I think, asked Corlynn, but she sounded far away as well. What is with me and getting so hurt? This is what I get for leaving my room, the safety of my daddy's mansion.

Something cold and wet is put on the back of my head, but even that felt far away, and I couldn't see anything. More accurately, anything but darkness. "She's loosing a lot of blood!" Sara screamed, her voice sounded so, so warped. I had no idea where I was anymore, no idea who was around me.

"Ange, call an ambulance, we can't transfer her on our own." Miles I think, called out. An ambulance? Well, I guess that would make sense, but all that happened was I got knocked out of a chair by a one hundred some odd pound dog. Now that that comes up, it makes even more sense that I was just hearing about blood too. But I couldn't feel that, I couldn't feel anything anymore for that matter.

When I became aware again, I was in the typical white room of a hospital. With a bunch of other people. I got so used to having a private hospital room when I needed it, that I forgot that hospitals even did this. Thankfully, there were only two other patients in the room, I was in the middle, opposite the door, and they were at either end of the room. Both were male, around my age, and reading a book. At first, I had no idea what to do, or say, to them, so I just called out a weak hello.

"H-hi." I say, my voice more gravelly than I thought it would be if I've only been out a few hours. Which the clock above the door seemed to indicate.

"Hi. Your awake." The one to the left of me stated. Well duh, why point out the obvious?

"Uh-huh... Why is that important to state?" My throat felt dry, but I just can't understand why.

"Because I've been here for two days and so have you. I got here just before you did." Huh?

"How come you were here?"

"Appendicitis."

"Oh, that sucks, I had that like, a year ago. Uh, is anyone here for me?" Maybe Josh's family was here, or let my dad know that I was hurt and he was here.

"Your boyfriend I think. Blonde with blue?"

"That would be him."

"He left your laptop on the table next to you. And your phone I think." He informs me, and looking at both sides of my bed, I noticed a crappy two dollar bedside table on my right side with my laptop, phone and both the AC Adapters.

"I'm Kendra by the way."

"Yes, I know, Kendra Grey, girlfriend of singer and new man whore Josh Ramsay." Okay, that comment kind of pissed me off.

"Man whore?" I glare at him.

"What, have you not seen his new music video?"

"Didn't even know he was writing any new music at the moment."

"Have a look at his Vevo on youtube then." So I did, and I was beyond mad. And funnily enough, Josh ran in by the end of it. I put my phone back on the cheap bedside table, and glare at him. The joy that I was awake, I assume, left his face at the sight of my look.

"Hey both of you," I growl at the other two hospital children, they look over at me. "Tune us out or listen to some music through earbuds for a second would you?" They nod and plug a set of earbuds into their ipods almost simultaneously.

"Josh." I hiss. "I have two things to be upset and pissed off at you for. Anything else to add?"

"What are you mad about baby?" He asks me softly.

"First of all, did you relapse or not? I'm sick of being told nothing because everyone thinks I'm fragile as shit. I'm not."

"No. I promise you I didn't." His somber expression almost says otherwise.

"Much Music says otherwise Josh."

"The skype interview? I had a look at that after you mentioned it to me, its edited I swear."

"I don't know if I can trust that answer Joshua. I've known you most of my life, and I don't know if I can trust you this time."

"But I-" He goes to reach for me, but I hold a hand up to stop him from talking or touching me.

"Don't Josh. I'm not as mad about that as I am worried. And there is something that overpowers any madness that I could have about that. First of all, I am so glad you are still writing music. But what the hell? Pop 101. Your new music video. Its not you!"

"What do you mean its not me. Nothing could be more me." He looks like he really wanted to hold me, but right now, there was no way in hell I'd let him.

"Josh, dancing around in a music video with topless women is hardly you. I could call that cheating as far as you're concerned."

He looked shocked for a second, and fear flashed quickly through his eyes. "Kendra, I-"

"No Josh, stop with the excuses. Excuses mean nothing, that's all they ever are. Mindless excuses that only idiots forgive. I'm done being an idiot."

"Please Kendra, just, please." He's almost in tears, does he think I'm breaking up with him? Never.

"I don't want an excuse, or an apology, or an "I'll never do it again."" I take a shaky deep breath, "all I want is that you and I have the trust in each other not to do it." A few tears fell. "Stop that, I'm trying to be mad at you. And no, I'm not breaking up with you."

I lift my arms up to hug him, only to be restricted by an IV in my arm, where there are no visible veins. Had the person who put it there not have the patience to look at my other arm? Where my elbow had a perfectly good vein for it?

I put that arm down, and hug him with my free arm. Just then, a doctor and nurse walked in the room, my parents and Taylor following close behind. My mother went to take a few fast steps to get to me, but my dad put an arm around her waist to stop her, not sure if I was okay talking to them, or touching them yet. I nodded slowly, letting them know they could come near, but motioned to Taylor that I wanted him closer first, and closer than them.

"Miss Grey?" The nurse starts, "we thought it best to tell you what happened to you in the presence of your parents. Two days ago, when that dog pushed you to the floor from your chair you hit your head and cut your scalp open, we gave you three stitches, but the reason you were out for so long, was because we had to remove a rotting four and a half month developed fetus from your womb.

"Wha-what? A baby?"

"Yes, it died, just over six months ago. So it was rotting, but we have yet to understand why your body didn't get rid of it on its own." Oh god. Shakily, I looked up at Josh, who now stood beside my bed. I grabbed onto his arm, pulling him down to sit next to me.

"Josh, I can't. I don't, understand. Why? It must have been Jack's right? This is so scary, I can't deal. What do I do?"

Like an animal, he begins to pet my hair, softly humming Beside You into my ear while I looked at my parents, security guard, and the medically trained people.

"If you want, you are free to be discharged from the hospital now." I nod my head vigorously, and, since the iv in my arm was done dripping, they removed it. Grabbing my change of clothes that Josh happened to bring for me, I went to the bathroom, and changed into them. It was a white frilly button up blouse, and a pair of washed out black skinny jeans, and a pair of dark blue flats.

"Can we go?" I whisper, I don't know who heard me, but they all began to head towards the door, the nurse and doctor already long gone. My parents walked out first, well, technically Sawyer, our other security guard left first, I hadn't even known he was here, anyway, then Josh and I left, and Taylor was right behind us. Now I understood why Taylor and Sawyer were here. There is a crowd of paparazzi standing outside the glass, waiting to make me feel claustrophobic, even though I am not.

I hold tightly to Josh as we shove our way through them, afraid that if I let go, I would get thrust into the ocean of people, unable to get out. One thing I knew we were all doing, to avoid any pictures getting posted of us leaving the hospital, was moving super fast, keeping our heads down, and maintaining emotionless expressions on our faces.

Oh, I thought, this is why I've become an introvert.

Not too surprisingly, we all hopped into my dad's helicopter, which was on a piece of the hospitals aircraft launch pad. And, as I had learned when I was nine, there wasn't enough room for all six of us.

There were four seats, so what dad did, was have mom sitting on his lap while he flew, Sawyer sat next to them, Taylor got in the far left, and Dad motioned for me to sit on Josh's lap. I shook my head, and sat my butt on Taylor, who awkwardly patted my shoulder, and looked outside, making sure that the paparazzi were standing clear, before giving dad the go sign.

I chose that moment to steal a glance at Josh, and almost started crying when I saw the terribly hurt look on his face. I adjusted my seat, and leaned against the glass, hiccuping, but disguising it as a yawn. "Sleep." I heard Taylor whisper in my ear. But I couldn't. I had too much on my mind. The Much Music Skype interview with my boyfriend who claims they edited it, fangirls who appear to want to be journalists but didn't put the effort in, the music video, Bennie hurting me, which the poor thing must be feeling horrible for, since he's such an intelligent dog, and the fact that I almost want to talk to my family again, and stop being such a wuss.

Something clicked in my mind, and I lifted my heavy head to look at Josh. "That was a parody right? That's what you meant to say?" My voice was weak and quiet, and I knew that he probably didn't hear me, and that's okay, because I know that it's true, and it's one reason less to be displeased with him, and one reason more, to argue with my dad, through Taylor, to let me go on tour with Josh for a little while. Not only that, but now I have to deal with the fact that I was pregnant, and the men who left me where they did must have killed it, which means they knew, which means this must have been their intention. But for my body to not reject and flush a barely there fetus, that is what baffles me the most. And it was decaying. Inside of me. I'm disgusted, hurt, freaked out, and tired all in one go.

When we reach the place that dad leaves his helicopter, we're rushed inside of an Audi that my dad owns. And when we get home, everyone looks at me expectantly, as if I would be the decider of what happens next. I do my best to ignore their stares, and trudge inside the front door, down the hall, up the stairs, into my room, and into my bathroom, where I soundlessly stripped to take a shower. I felt disgusting. Disgusting because I'd been in a bed for two days, disgusting because something grew inside of me, disgusting because it died there, disgusting because I don't have the trust I used to with my boyfriend. As I thought each of these things I scrubbed harder and harder with my bath sponge. I felt my skin begin to raw, I felt the sting of the water, but that didn't stop me.

I turned up the heat to full blast, I sank to the bottom of the tub, I cried and cringed at the stinging of the sponge and the water, but that never once stopped me. I just kept going, trying to wash away a dirtiness that was only in my mind. And I knew that that was where it was, I knew that everything I felt was real, but not something that could be scrubbed away by soap and water, but it still didn't stop me.

I kept going until every inch of me was red, and bleeding, I kept going until I felt the water change to cold. I kept going until I felt frozen. Even then I didn't feel better. Even then, I still sat there. I stopped scrubbing when I couldn't feel it any longer. But that didn't help. The numbness I felt was too strong. Numbness that even a new kind of numbness didn't help.

Even though I couldn't feel it, I knew I was still crying, the only sense that I had left was hearing, and when I heard someone close the door, and turn my shower off, I didn't move, or tell them to go away, I let them do what I knew they would. Even when they touched my stomach, where there was a fresh scar with stitches. Inside, I flinched and begged them to stop. Outside, I still didn't move, or speak. They wrapped me in a large thick towel, I knew that much. They picked me up, carrying me under my knees and back, I could tell that much. They put me in my bed, they walked away, and I heard the sound of my light switch, turned off, but I didn't know who it was.

I let them touch me, but I think I'm going to stop them for a little while.

OOPS! I'm so sorry I took so long, but I hope this turned out okay. If not, it's going on my list of things to edit when done. Can you believe it? I started this in the ninth grade, and now I'm in the summer between my eleventh and twelfth year. I can't wait to be done this, although who knows when that will be. I can't wait to be graduated in only a year, and I can't wait for the real world to start for me. And I want to profusely apologize to everyone whose ever read this fanfiction, for I am slow, and steady, and terrible at what I do. Eventually I will finish this, I will remove it from the website, and then I will edit it, and repost it. Then maybe one day, I will publish a real book, which is what I want to do. But I don't know if I can handle the hatred of readers with no patience. J.K. Rowling apparently wrote at two hundred sixty seven words a day. I probably write even less. A Song Of Ice And Fire(Game of Thrones) came out in the nineties, and that still isn't done. The author of To Kill A Mocking Bird, is finally releasing a new book and it has been at least thirty years. So I'm sorry, I promise, to be only slightly faster than them. Love, Kendra.