Listen To Your Heart

By: esmtz

For the next couple of days Coach talked with Nick and Rochelle and they all agreed that they needed to stay in the safe house for awhile due to the fact that the other half of the team was too depressed to fight right now. They were still in Arizona close to Phoenix, but still a good distance away so the zombies couldn't catch up to them right away. They had managed to find a safe house on the side of the road and decided that they weren't going to be able to go anywhere for a bit. Ever since Nick caught up with Ellis he hadn't left his side not once, but Ellis still wasn't reacting at all to the fact that Nick was there trying to get him to talk.

Rochelle sighed as soon as she entered their bedroom. Nick sat at the corner of the bed and Ellis looked like he was sleeping, but she already knew that wasn't the case.

"How is he doing?" Rochelle asked looking at Nick.

Nick shook his head looking down at Ellis sadly who was lying down on the bed clutching tightly to the comforter and silent tears kept falling down his face.

"He's still not talking?" Rochelle asked.

"No." Nick replied.

"Well, I finally got Zoey to talk to me. You're not going to believe what she told me." Rochelle said walking to the other side of the bed to look down at Ellis.

Nick snorted shaking his head.

"Why do I get the feeling it was about how she felt about that biker guy?" Nick said.

Rochelle frowned shaking her head and looked at him seriously.

"Actually no, Nick. You remember how Ellis was always talking about his friend?" Rochelle said still looking at him.

Nick raised an eyebrow looking at her.

"Yeah obviously. Why?" Nick asked.

Rochelle looked back down at Ellis and kneeled on the floor next to him and started rubbing his head which only made Ellis tighten his grip on the comforter and squeeze his eyes shut tight. Nick winced as he looked at Ellis in alarm.

"You mean…?" Nick whispered.

Rochelle nodded.

"Yeah. Apparently they found his body right in front of what used to be Wal-Mart and his guts were literally on the floor surrounding him. I can only imagine how Ellis must have reacted." Rochelle said tears in her eyes as she looked back up at Nick, "He's doing a lot worse then Louis and Zoey."

"I'm not so sure about that baby girl." Coach said as he entered the room, "Looks like Louis might just as well be in the same amount of pain that Ellis is. Of course that poor girl must be heartbroken as all hell, but Louis keeps saying how guilty he feels now about losing two of his teammates. I don't think he's ever gunna forgive himself."

Rochelle shook her head as she looked at him.

"I honestly think Ellis is worse off and how do I know that? For one Francis was the one who's been teaching him how to shoot his gun, two him and Ellis must have developed a strong enough relationship for Ellis to be unresponsive like this, three Francis was the one who saved Ellis's life since it was him who wanted to get him to a safer location and get whatever glass that was in his back out, and four Francis also tried to comfort Ellis when they found his friend." Rochelle replied.

Nick put a hand on Ellis's shoulder and gently shook him slightly.

"Ellis? It's Nick. I'm right here, overalls and I'm not going anywhere." Nick told him.

The only response was a quiet sob start to turn into actual cries. Nick bit his lip as he lied down next to Ellis and put his arms around him. Coach motioned for Rochelle to follow him out of the room. As soon as they were and had closed the door Coach sighed and nodded.

"I guess you're right, Ro. Hell the boy knew his friend for who knows how long and Francis treated Ellis better then any of us ever did." Coach said rubbing the back of his head worriedly.

"Did you hear what he said when we got him out of that city?" Rochelle asked.

"You mean when Nick was trying to get him to say somethin? Yeah I heard. The kid is blaming himself for Francis's death. Shit the way he spoke though it's almost as if he's…" Coach hesitated.

"Dead inside? Yeah I noticed that too." Rochelle bit her lip and looked back at the closed door.

Silence fell between them as they heard cries coming from Zoey's room.

"I'm guessing she isn't doing any better." Coach said.

Rochelle shook her head sadly.

"I've been sleeping with her hoping it would give her some comfort to know that someone was here for her, but the way she keeps waking up in the middle of the night…" Rochelle winced remembering how loud Zoey screamed out for Bill and Francis.

"Yeah, you know what? Forget what I said before. I think Louis might be doin slightly better then the youngins. He's at least responsive and is tryin to get himself to do sumethin." Coach said just as Louis came out of his room and made his way to the guns and once again emptied the clips and refilled them again.

Both Rochelle and Coach sighed shaking their heads having already told him not to worry about it, but he kept insisting that he needed something to do since they weren't making their way to California or fighting zombies right now. They were still worried about him as well since he had admitted to them before that he couldn't deal with the loss of Bill and now after losing Francis and having told said person that he wished he was dead, it was obvious to them that Louis was trying to keep himself together as best as he could even if it meant doing something to keep his mind off of his dead teammates.

"I'm going to go check on Zoey again." Rochelle said as she headed back upstairs before turning back to look at Coach worriedly.

Coach smiled slightly at her.

"Everything's going to be alright, baby girl." Coach told her.

"I hope so." Rochelle replied.

Back in Nick and Ellis's room Ellis was desperately trying to keep himself from bursting out crying and still he couldn't feel just how close Nick was to him. All he knew was that ever day the hole in his chest was getting bigger almost to the point of it consuming him. He also kept seeing Francis in his dreams with his still bloody chest and was looking at him worriedly.

'I'm so sorry, Francis. If I had done what you had told me to do you would have still been here.' Ellis said as he saw Francis try to talk to him, but he couldn't hear anything.

Every time Ellis woke up his body automatically went to auto-pilot. He still was unable to see that Nick, Rochelle, Coach, Zoey, and Louis were there with him. All he knew and felt now was that he was alone and started to wonder if Zoey was killed too.

'It's all mah fault that I lost not only my mom, but my friends Dave, Keith, Zoey and…' Ellis bit his lip hard the moment he thought of Francis and memories immediately ran through his mind until it stopped at the part where Francis kissed him 'Francis.'

Ellis suddenly started screaming out in pain as he felt the hole inside him get bigger. Nick held on to him tightly eyes going wide as Ellis started to have a panic attack. Nick got on top of him and pinned his arms down on the bed.

"Ellis, look at me! I'm right here!" Nick yelled.

The door busted open and Coach watched in horror as he ran to help keep Ellis from hurting himself. As soon as Ellis finally calmed down Coach sighed with relief and noticed that Zoey, Rochelle, and Louis had watched.

"W-What's going on? E-Ellis?" Zoey whispered eyes wide as she started to think that something was wrong with Ellis.

Louis swallowed and looked at Coach. Rochelle was too shocked to say anything.

"We can't stay here y'all. I think we might have already by now attracted the zombies attention to where we're at." Coach swallowed.

"H-He's right. Staying here is only going to get us in more trouble if the zombies haven't followed us all the way out here already." Louis said.

"We may have driven a good distance away from the city, but it ain't far enough to not be followed." Coach replied.

"So what do we do now, Coach? Should we continue to head towards California?" Rochelle asked.

Coach looked around and saw that they all needed him to be the leader now. Nick obviously was trying to look after Ellis, Zoey was falling apart, Louis didn't even want to try to lead anymore, and Rochelle looked like she was more nervous then certain about what was going to happen.

"It's the only plan we got now, baby girl." Coach told her, "I'd say we leave sooner rather then later and hopefully next town or city we're in we'll fill up the car again with gas. You hear that, Nick?" Coach asked.

Nick didn't hear what Coach had said. He had been too busy looking at Ellis wondering if he was going to be ok or not. Nick swallowed having still not let go of him as he saw and felt Ellis move slightly beneath him.

"Nick!" Coach said finally gaining his attention.

"What?" Nick asked looking at him.

Coach sighed.

"The next city or town we find we're gunna need to refill the car up with gas. You got that?" Coach asked.

"Yeah, I got it." Nick said.

"Good now we'd better move now before the infected can get the drop on us." Coach said as he made his way to get whatever he needed before leaving.

Louis, Rochelle, and Zoey followed behind him just as Zoey asked if Ellis was going to be alright. As if on cue Ellis opened his eyes and started to get up. Nick didn't want to let him go and so decided to help him up and move him towards the front where everyone was picking up a gun, health pack, pills/adrenaline, etc.

"Nick, you can let go of him now. You are gunna need to be able to shoot you know if they're out there just waiting for us to leave." Coach told him.

Nick reluctantly let go of Ellis as he picked up a random gun, but still kept his eyes on him and watched as Ellis picked up his usual weapons (two pistols and sniper). Zoey walked up to Ellis, eyes still really red from crying as she looked at him.

"Ellis? A-Are you alright?" Zoey asked sniffling.

Ellis didn't respond to her as his body was once again in auto-pilot.

"I don't think he's doing so good, Zoey." Rochelle told her also looking at Ellis worriedly.

"I-I guess not. I mean I guess I can understand why he's like this what with Francis kissing him and all just before he…" Zoey started to sob again.

Nick looked at Ellis completely horrified. Coach and Rochelle winced.

"So that's why he's not responding to any of us." Coach said.

Ellis once again had that same lifeless look he had before when they had gotten him out of the city. Nick knew that this wasn't a good time to be jealous, but man was he seriously pissed when he heard that. One look at Ellis though and his jealousy was immediately forgotten.

"Should we get going now?" Louis asked looking out at the road and saw that nothing was there.

"Yeah, just head straight to the car I'll cover y'all in case something happens." Coach replied.

Louis was the first to leave the safe house, followed by the girls, then Coach, and last was Nick and Ellis. They kind of expected for something to happen, but that didn't stop them for being unprepared when they heard and saw that a bunch of zombies had surrounded the car that was behind the safe house and were making their way to the survivors.

Coach growled.

"Dammit, I should have known that they would have tried something like this!" Coach said and immediately everyone started shooting at the zombies.

Ellis kept hearing voices in his head and wasn't sure if it was his own consciousness or what, but he was obeying it like he would his own teammates. He was shooting down zombies left and right, but the moment Francis suddenly appeared in front of him he flinched.

"Charger!" Rochelle yelled.

Zombies had managed to separate Nick from Ellis and he couldn't see him above all of their heads.

"Ellis!" Nick yelled out.

Coach barely reacted in time as the Charger ran at Louis and was just about to slam him into the ground, but was killed just before it could do that.

"Thanks, man." Louis said as he got up.

"Yer welcome now look around for any sign of that smoker cause I hear one of them around somewhere." Coach told him.

Ellis couldn't feel the zombies that were attacking him. He just watched Francis start to panic, blood still dripping from his chest, as he pointed up at the top of the safe house. Ellis looked up and saw that the smoker was looking down at him. Ellis smiled slightly and looked back at Francis who was now horrified and tried to signal him to move away or at least shoot at it. Ellis did neither as he just stood there and let the smoker wrap its tongue around him and he started to feel himself suffocate. Ellis heard a voice calling out to him in his head as he started to lose consciousness, but then the smoker's tongue was broken and the zombies that were attacking him were quickly killed. He felt the tongue being removed from his body.

"Ellis, fuck why didn't you call out for help?" Nick asked as he quickly removed the tongue and tossed it to the side.

Ellis started coughing and Nick helped him to stand up.

"Guys, hurry we can get to the car now!" Rochelle cried out once all the normal infected were killed.

"Go, NOW!" Coach yelled as he helped Zoey to her feet after having been jumped on by a jockey and fell to the floor the moment it was killed.

Coach waited for the others to get in the car first as he covered them from getting attacked by the special infected. The girls were the first to get in, then it was Louis, and finally Nick pulled Ellis and then pushed him into the car right before a hunter could pounce on him. Coach quickly put a bullet in its head before it could get at Nick and then ran to the drivers side once Nick got in and closed the back passengers door. Coach killed the smoker that was still on top of the safe house before getting in, closing the door, and starting the car.

"Is everyone alright?" Coach asked as he drove over a spitter and got back on the road.

"Yeah, I think so." Zoey replied.

"Good, cause I don't want to go and lose somebody else here." Coach said.

"Trust me none of us want that." Louis told him.

Zoey shook her head and then looked at Ellis worriedly.

Nick leaned closer to Ellis and whispered in his ear.

"What the fuck did you think you were doing out there, overalls? You could have gotten yourself killed." Nick told him.

Ellis didn't respond. He simply looked down with a haunted look on his face. That was when Nick had a horrible thought cross his mind.

'He didn't cry out like he usually does. He did that on purpose he wanted to…' Nick thought horrified.

Nick had never been more scared then what he was feeling right now.

Author's note: ok I'm not making this up. Yesterday or the day before I played as Nick on dead center and didn't heal Ellis at all the entire time. I only healed Rochelle or Coach mostly because I was pissed at Ellis for always being the last person willing to heal me (its usually Rochelle unfortunately) and when we got on the elevator to fill up Jimmy Gibbs car, he glanced at me with a hurt look on his face. I didn't know there was a chance that I could hurt a computers feelings holy shit! 0.0 anyway I was so pissed that at the last minute he tried to heal me or give me pain pills but I refused the health pack and before he could give me his pills we drove off in the car. When I started Dark Carnival he was all into helping me out and he was the first one trying to heal me, but again I refused. I finally let him heal me after the second or third time he tried to lol stubborn kid. I shouldn't call him that though im younger then him! Ok you guys probably could care less about that so anyway back to the story. Ellis's suicide attempt will most likely be in tomorrow nights chapter or the following one not sure. After that I honestly don't know where to take the story except to I guess ending it once they're safe in California. The whole Francis haunting Ellis I guess you can say I got the idea from Twilight, but hey Francis IS dead Edward was just plain gone big difference. Have you ever tried staying mad at Ellis? I can't do it because I end up breaking at some point. Thank you so much for all the reviews. Im really glad I continued the story because at first I didn't get a lot so I thought I wasn't going to continue, but here I am about to end it pretty soon. Yeah im starting to wonder if I should make another L4D story since that's all im into right now.