Long time no see let's skip the howdy do da and get to the stuff XD
Motherfucking Cheese
Celestial space. The one place in the universe, where Rosalina can truly rule. The only place that understands her... And tonight it was gonna be disturbed by her closest friends and enemies from High School. Finally, she'd be the most popular girl everyone would love. Finally, she's be the center of attention.
"Alright, Luma, if we're gonna be hosting tonight's party we gotta make sure all the snacks, rules, decorations, and music is going to be aligned perfectly. Remember, we can't have any leftover pipes from this mornings uh...galaxy ritual, or else Nastasia will be pissed when she comes over for inspection."
"Why that bitch gotta ruin the fun, Mama?" Luma sighed.
"I don't know, Lums. but just think, she'll be here for thirty minutes and she'll be outta of our engine." The blonde sighed and headed over to her bed. "Why does the sun hold planets in its orbit, like a selfish b-"
"Yo, what up Rosie!" A call rang out from the main deck.
Rosalina snapped out of her reminisce and looked towards her door. "I think someone is on the main deck, Lums."
"Mama, stop being such a lazy ass bitch and go check that shit out." Luma slurred.
"Luma! Are you intoxicated again?!" Rosalina demanded rising to her feet.
"Naw, I'm just...shit... The fuck I was sayin'?" The little star was indeed grasping onto an empty vodka bottle while dizzily floating.
Rosalina shook her head and headed towards her bedroom door. Followed closely by her Luma, the two passed other star floaters and the library until they reached the main platform.
The starboard was completely blank, so the only other option was the platform.
Rosalina smiled when she saw the flashy forms of her close friends: Luigi, Daisy, Mario, Noel, Manic, Delia and Zaneba. Oh and Peach was there too.
She waved shyly as each of them gave her a 'wtf' glare. In return, she gave her a 'what' look.
"What?"
"Girl, what are you wearing?" Delia demanded.
Rosalina looked down. Her inspiration for a party dress came from a Harry Potter movie she saw once. Luna, yeah Luna Lovegood wore the exact same dress to a professor's Christmas party. Too bad Rosalina didn't look quite as unique and extravagant at Luna did. The dress was tin foil silver, and was made of a reflective type material. It was kinda layered like a Christmas tree and had little stars hanging off of the ends. If that made any sense...
Anyway, the bitch was dressed to depress, the outfit could kill a party in five seconds tops.
"Girl, we thought you needed help decorating...but it looks like that outfit is what's in serious need for help." Noel commented.
"You need something that'll show your tits..." Peach purred and puffed out her chest.
"Or keep them covered up!" Zaneba snarled.
"Something simple yet flashy will do the trick for her..." Luigi put in.
"What about something sexy? Rosalina might want to get her some tonight..." Mario smirked.
Their suggestions made Rosalina turn bright pink and feel a little self-conscious.
"Whoa, whoa wait. None of you know what she wants. I know what she needs." A voice snapped from behind them.
The groups turned towards each other, pondering of the location of the mysterious advocate, when something came bowling between them.
Suddenly Iggy Koopa pushed the group aside and approached Rosalina. With a simple tut, he shook his head and eyed Rosa up and down. "Uh-uh...honey girl, you need a whole entire make-over!" He snapped with passion. With a simple flick of his chic designer scarf, the Koopa reached for the celestial princess's hand. "Luckily for you, I know exactly what I'm doing."
"What the hell?! You can't just take our friend and give her the makeover of her life! Especially after what your brother did to her!" Zaneba snarled.
"Zanie, Ludwig didn't rape me! I swear! But I can trust Iggy to do me this one solid, maybe he can hook a girl up." Rosalina smirked.
"One, never in your life say that again. And two...I guess so, if Iggy can do it, let him." Daisy sighed.
Iggy adjusted his glasses and struck a flashy pose. "Honey, when I'm through with you every man at this party will wanna stick a dick in your ass."
With that said the two stepped off the platform and returned to the bedroom.
"So everyone know the plan for when old bitch gets here?" Noel asked in a hush tone.
"Yeah, no one does shit til the bitch leaves." Mario rolled his eyes. "And the sooner she gets off this ship, the sooner I smoke this Plant." He pulled out a baby Piranah Plant, who was shivering frightfully in his grasp.
"You sick son of a bitch, how the hell are you gonna kill a defenseless creature and smoke it?!" Delia hissed.
"Sorry, I didn't hear you over your hypocrisy!" Mario hissed. "At least I'm not eatin' the bitch!"
"I'm a fucking vegetarian! What else am I supposed to eat?!" Delia barked back.
"Whoa, break it up you two! Tonight is a night of celebration, let's not kick it off with a fight!" Luigi mediated.
"Yeah, the last thing I wanna do is let someone besides Mario rip this dress off of me." Peach huffed.
"Might I remind everyone that Nastasia is going to be here soon." Manic murmured. "So let's not do or say anything too rash until she leaves."
The others nodded in agreement just as the sound of the space transporter chimed.
"WHERE ALL MY BITCHES AT?!" A drunken voice called from the dock.
Delia was the first to react to the voice. "Oh shit! I forgot to text Lucas and Azalea before we got here!"
Noel shot Delia a well-deserved glare. "You've got to be joking, right? You know those two'll show up drunk to anything!"
Three figures stepped off the 'portation dock, two of them dizzily supporting each other as they stepped forward. Primrose let out an annoyed sigh as she approached Daisy. "I told them not to get drunk, then they yelled at me."
The red head slapped her forehead as her blonde sibling continued to explain the happenings. "Primrose! You could've tried a little harder to stop those two! Nasty-ass is gonna be here any damn second!"
"You mean Secretary Nastasia?" Primrose squeaked.
Delia rolled her eyes. "No point in arguing now, shove 'em in a closet before the witch gets here for inspection!"
Zaneba and Luigi were the first to volunteer to get rid of the drunken students, just as Bowser Jr., the Koopalings (minus Iggy, Ludwig and Roy), Vice Principal Bowser, and a few other students transported in.
Mario raised an eyebrow at the Vice Principal's appearance. "Where's Nastasia?"
"She had a 'scheduled meeting to attend, so the bitch sent me." Bowser growled. "I know you kids are gonna get drunk, high, and possibly impregnated. Just know if Nastasia hears a word of it, she'll chew my head off. So don't even think about snitching or else I will personally put each and every one of you brats in hospital beds!"
The students who were there all murmured in agreement, just as the Vice Principal headed towards the transporter. "Oh and another thing, if Nastasia asks, I was here for an hour and made sure it was completely safe and all that shit. Party on."
The students exchanged looks as the silence rung in the air, until Waluigi broke it. "Well you heard the Vice! Party on!"
Celestial space. What once was the one place in the universe, where Rosalina could truly rule. Now, a bunch of rowdy, drunken, ecstas-ized teenagers were taking over the whole lot. The said bleach blonde peaked out of her bedroom window. "Do you really think that they'd like it?" She asked Iggy.
The Koopaling waved his hand carelessly. "Are you kidding me? They will be all over you like Peach all over a stripper pole."
Rosa smiled lightly. "Thanks Iggy... I'm sorry about your brothers though..."
"Yeah one murdered the other incarcerated..." Iggy took off his glasses and blew lightly on them, only to have sparked a fire. "Aww sit-! Dammit Bowser! Why didn't you teach us how to use the motherfucking flame breath?!"
Rosalina chuckled. "I'm sure you'll get it soon... Anyway, I must address my people... Thank you once again..."
Luigi, Daisy, Manic, Noel, Mario and Zaneba were among the many other students of the crowd partying it up. A drunken Delia was at the bar (A.K.A. Rosalina's garage) steadily flirting with Bowser Jr, who was trying to push her off.
"Come on bae, just one drank... On me for...sure..." Delia hiccuped.
"Why don't you and Brandon get to know each other? He and I are both in the same grade and you both seem to have a bad drinking habit." Junior suggested.
As Junior said, the ninth grader Brandon was talking to a couple of female Koopas, probably boasting about their team win. However, he was completely intoxicated, and every word of his was slurred. "Yeah, sol, that's how we...we uh...beat back a vaginal bacterial infection..."
The girls made a face and walked away in disgust.
"Hey where you goin'? Aww forget you..." He rolled his eyes and drank the last of his beer bottle's contents before passing out.
"See, perfect. Now you can perform you child molestation operation on him." Junior grumbled before hopping off the bar stool.
"Wait, babe!" Delia downed the rest of her glass before taking hold of Junior's hand. "It's not child molestation if I'm not eighteen..." She purred.
"You're a Junior in high school trying to get with a Freshman... What do you look like?"
Delia paused to contemplate, and Junior took this moment to leave.
"Dang, got shot down again?" A voice asked sympathetically.
"Yeah, but I'll get him soon enough..." Delia giggled, turning to see who spoke to her.
She choked on a glob of saliva in her throat and her eyes widened.
"Whoa, you okay Dels?!" The voice cried.
"Yeah, but what about you Rosa?! You look...like...you're freaking...hot!? The girl who normally wears her hair up and an overall shorts outfit... Wearing a mini skirt, halter top, and bang over the eye?!"
Rosalina rubbed her arm self-consciously. "Oh, do I look too skimpy?"
"What no? Are you kidding me? What Peach is wearing now is worse, might as well have come naked."
Rosa chuckled lightly and headed over to the bar. "Can I have a Balls on the Rock, please?"
The Luma running the counter smirked. "Hells yeah, Rosa. You can have some up your ass too if you ask just as nicely!"
Rosa blushed and looked down as she received her alcoholic beverage.
As soon as she was done, another student approached the bar. "I want the Climax on the Moon, thanks. Oh hey, you single?" He asked cockily.
Rosa looked over her opposite shoulder seeing Delia still there. The Blooper princess gave her a wink and thumbs up.
Rosa nodded in thanks and turned to the flirtatious boy only to find Mario staring her in the face.
"OH SHIT!" The red sporting hero yelled. "Dammit Rosalina! I thought you were a fucking bitch!"
"Wha-? Wait I am!"
"No, not a fucking bitch, but a 'fucking bitch-'. You know the girls who sit at the counter in stripper clothes and wait for a guy to come up and be all 'wanna fuck?' I guess I'm that guy..." Mario removed his hat and took his glass off the table, downing the whole thing in one gulp.
"I can be that girl if you want." Rosa offered shyly.
"You know I'm with Peach."
"But you were gonna get with me, if you didn't know I was me..." Rosa sighed.
"Nah mane, I was gonna get with someone who was too drunk to remember I was in a relationship... You've gotten too immune to alcohol to take advantage of without there being any consequences."
Rosa blinked. "What about Delia?"
Mario froze for a quick second before bursting into laughter. "You mean...'What the fuck?!' girl? Oh my mushrooms! Rosa you're funny as hell!"
"'What the eff' girl?" Rosalina echoed.
Mario rolled his eyes. "She's one of the fucking anchors for the school news..."
"Oh right..." Rosa blushed. "Blonde moment..."
"I don't even watch the damn school news and I know that... Anyway, I wouldn't take Delia to the Fuck Room for fifteen seconds! That girl is freaking weird..."
Rosalina was still stuck on Delia's nickname, before she could fully process what Mario said. "Wait...the what room?!"
"The room Iggy set up on the other side of your Observatory with the giant canopy bed, all purple and girly and shit. He's charging five coins and entree if you want in. I've been at least three times with Peach-"
"What?! Mario, that's my bedroom!" Rosa panicked. "I've gotta stop Iggy before I find everyone's sticky excretions all over my walls and sheets and mattress!"
"A little too late don't you think?"
The celestial princess hopped down from the bar stool and did her best to run in her major high heels.
Along the way she could hear the many wolf whistles and cat calls coming from passersby, or the occasional 'guuurrrrl' from a fellow female classmate.
"Whoa Rosa! Where the motherfucking cheese dip? How the fuck am I gonna dip this dry ass chip with out motherfucking cheese?"
Rosa stopped seeing an upset Zanebe holding a dry chip. "Uh, go to the fountain up on the second platform. I changed the water to cheese so now it's a cheese fountain..."
"Girl thinks she ballin'! I see ya, Rosa! Get it!" Zaneba snapped with attitude.
After the weird conversation, Rosa finally got passed the library to her bedroom, until a slightly drunken Luigi stopped her. "Hey, Rosalina. I think it'd be a really great idea if you as our Student Council Vice President deliver the name of our next challenge!"
Rosa turned pink. "W-wha? M-me?"
Daisy dizzily approached the two. "Yeah girl, don't be shy. Get out there and do it!"
Rosalina was still contemplating over the matter when her two friends pushed her towards the platform. "Break a leg girl!" Daisy cheered from the side of the higher rise.
Rosalina gulped and stared out to the sea of dancing students.
"Girl gimme dat kitty. Lemme make it purr." Lemmy slurred towards Noel.
Manic and Zaneba who weren't too far from the dancing couple burst into giggles.
Noel rolled her eyes. "Bitch please, you have to be this tall to ride this ride."
"What if I was on my ball?" Lemmy egged.
"If you don't leave me alone I will snap your tiny neck and hang you from the flag pole by your tail!" Noel growled.
"'Ey chick! No need to get touchy, he just tryin to get the V from any chick he sees!" Larry defended his older brother.
"Well go get it from someone else, this girl doesn't roll like that!" Noel snapped.
Larry shrugged and turned to Manic.
"Don't even think about it." She muttered.
The rainbow Mohawked Koopaling turned to Zaneba. "Lemmy it'll be a cold day in the Darklands before I go anywhere with you and let you stick your tiny dick up my-"
"Can I have your attention please?!" A shaky voice called above the music, laughter and miscellaneous noise.
One by one, students turned towards the high rise, where Rosa was standing nervously.
Many of the boys whistled, while the girls gave out 'stank faces'.
Rosa put on her best TV smile and address the students. "Uh, sorry to ruin your festivities, but I just have one quick announcement, well maybe two. One, great job to those eight players who battled out there against the other teams and dominated! You represented our school fairly well, and we hope you'll compete in another competition soon."
A cheerful roar met her words, but soon died down as Rosa continued.
"Next, I want to announce the next competition. The 'Shoot Out' or Rifle Range as other schools call it. This competition will require some of our best sighted students doing this, so we'll need more participants. Finally, students I leave you with one though before you get endlessly drunken, we were once divided as a school. We had cliques, tables, sections, you name it. But this competition is allowing us to grow together, people who you'd never thought to even associate with each other are now working together to for a greater cause. Koopas and princesses and other possible damsels...they're actually agreeing to work together... And all I have to say is that I'm proud. I hope that when the competition ends, we will still be able to do these great and wonderful things. Thank you for listening..."
"ROSA! ROSA! ROSA!" The crowds cheered.
"Haha, that's what she thinks I'm only doing this for the money..." Larry chuckled to his brother.
As the night drew on, students began fanning out to get ready for the next school day. As a few hundred students remained, the Observatory began to slow into an orbit around Earth, facing the sun.
Rosalina yawned. "I should go get my stuff ready for school in the morning. It's almost midnight..." She whispered Daisy, who was slow dancing with Luigi.
The red head nodded. "Okay have fun..."
Rosalina chuckled. "Glad you guys are having fun..." With that she walked over to the library, waving at her drunken Luma friends as she finally reached her room.
Her sleepy eyes, shot wide open as she entered her room. "OH MY STARS!"
Sorry about errors and stuff... I was trying to post before I got too busy... Anyway, Rosa's motives are a little shifty don't you think? At first when she was speaking to Iggy she seemed to take a peculiar turn towards what happened with Ludwig even though she was frightened of him at first... Then she tells Iggy she's got her peeps to talk to but when Daisy and Luigi ask her to do it it's all 'Wha? Really?!' Mhmm...I don't trust her as far as I can throw her...and I can barely pick up my 25 pounded dog...
Moving on, next chapter... It'll be a fairly interesting one called Shat... XD yes that'll be fun...
Hope you enjoyed!
Until next week (I'll try my best)
Au revoir!
~Raphie Delia