A/N: Heyy :) Thank you so much for all the alerts&reviews :) Also, thanks for letting me know your opinions about the format of the story :) We're sticking with the letters for now. I hope you enjoy this one :)

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own them. ;)

April, the 10th

Rick,

I dreamt about my mother the other day. I mean, I dream about her very often but this time it was different, I didn't wake up crying or sweating, I think I actually woke up smiling.

We were lying side by side in the green grass, a spring breeze surrounding us. There was a cloth and a few dishes. A picnic I guess? At first I was just staring at the sun, without even noticing her presence but knowing that she was there. Hard to understand, I know.

Then she spoke, her words and her voice were like soft music to my ears. We were talking as if we were together every day, as if us being lying there together wasn't that much of a big deal. I can't remember everything we said but I'm pretty sure half of it didn't make any sense. It felt real, but it was still a dream after all, right? Then she asked me "Do you miss him a lot?" She didn't say a name but when I answered "Yes" I knew exactly who we were talking about. She stretched her arm and reached out for my hand, holding it gently.

I felt a tear slipping down my face as I opened my mouth to speak, nothing coming out but a mere whisper "so much, mom" She turned to me, leaning on her elbow. She told me everything would be alright as if she was comforting a child after a nightmare.

"Do it, Katie" She said, firmly. "It will be okay."

"Do what?"

"Whatever it takes to be with him again. You need it."

I raised my head to look her in the eyes, trying to understand what she was talking about but suddenly she was gone. And there I was, alone in some kind of forest, the sunlight hitting my eyes. God, I miss the sunlight. I miss my mom. And you, I miss you.

When I woke up I spent hours trying to find a way to do anything to be with you again. If she said it, there had to be a way, right? And that's when it occurred to me. I immediately grabbed "Missing Heat" and a pencil. I made sure I drew it in the very first page, leaving two other pages between that and the dedication. Then I grabbed all my other books and I drew and wrote similar things.

Three or four days later Jason came here and brought Sarah. She stayed the day and as we played some board game I didn't put on a smile like I usually do when she's here, I simply let her see how miserable I feel when I'm alone.

Sarah asked what was wrong with me, and I told her I missed being outside. Of course she asked me for the millionth time "Why can't you go outside?". I stood by my first answer, telling her that I had some weird condition and that her dad thought it was better for me to stay inside. "And it's almost my birthday and here I am, alone." I know, I had no right to lie to her, or to use her like this but…I really need to use everything that I can, plus I made sure this would have no consequences for her. "Really? Oh, poor Kate. Is there anything I can do for you? Maybe I could ask my dad to let you go outside for a couple minutes, how bad would that be for your condition?" She asked, with those big eyes of hers filled with concern.

Well, that would be a great offer, wouldn't it? But that wasn't what I was looking for. "Oh, that would be great, but I don't think he would allow me to. However there's one thing I was thinking about asking your dad."

"What is it? Maybe I can help you." The smile she gave me broke my heart. My god, I'm a really bad person for playing her. But I swear I had no choice.

I showed her your book. I explained her you were my favorite author (finally something that I didn't have to lie about) and that I always had dreamt about getting your autograph. I told her I knew that book was recent and that you should be making a book-signing tour by then. (You better be, Rick. You better be.)

When Jason came by at the end of the day to take her, she didn't waste a second.

"Daddy, Kate needs to ask you something." He gave me a suspicious look as I gathered the courage to ask him.

I told him exactly what I had told his daughter a few hours earlier. I have been observing him closely this past few weeks and I came to the conclusion that he doesn't know anything else about me despite the fact that I am a cop and my name is Kate Beckett. I crossed my fingers for him not to know about you when I asked: "Do you think…there's any chance that you can get me this book signed?"

At first he looked surprised and then he just looked mean again. "And what makes you think I would do that for you?"

BAM. Just like that all my hopes were ruined. Of course I didn't think it would be that easy, but the look he gave me…it just made me feel like I was never going out. I nodded in resignation and started walking back to my bed when her pitchy voice broke the silence.

"Daddy, please? Kate is always telling me amazing stories and she's so good to me. She never gets made when I cheat at Dog Dice! Plus, she's pretty." Oh, this child. I immediately saw the mean expression of her dad going away, being replaced with indecision.

"Sweetie, daddy is not sure if he can do that." He whispered, passing a hand through her hair.

She begged him again and again as my heart broke a little bit more for that little girl and my hands started sweating with anxiety. There was still a chance.

He said yes. He said yes and ordered me to give him the book. He opened the first page and he saw what I had drawn. He got angry and accused me to be pulling off some trick. I put on an innocent face as I showed him another ten books. "See? I do this to all of them. I ran out of paper in my notebook and I like drawing and writing..." He bought it but he told me that he rather not give my real name when he went to the bookstore, even though there are thousands of Kates out there. "Tell him to make it out to Nikki Heat. She's the main character of the book. It could be anyone." I said.

I hugged Sarah with all my strength mentally apologizing for everything before she left the room.

"Fine. But let this be the last time that you ask me for something. And if you tell anyone about this, you're dead." Jason whispered when his daughter could no longer hear.

He took the book, Rick. He took it for you to sign, can you believe this? I just hope that he doesn't see the dedication and that you pay enough attention to recognize what I wrote in the first page. Please, Rick. It's our only chance.

With love,

Kate

A/N: So, what is it that Kate drew/wrote in the first page for Rick to recognize? :p Any guesses?

Also, what did you think of the idea?

Love you guys!

Clara