Chapter 10: That's Gross Umbridge
The next day Harry and Ron entered The Great Hall in hopes to find Hermione or Miss Norris. And to Harry's luck he found her and Sirius in the corner doing the nasty.
"OMG! SIRIUS! YOUR ALIVE! HOLLY CRAP AND POTATOES! AND……your doing Hermione….ew." Harry said looking over to Ron.
Finishing his business, Sirius turned to Harry with a wide smile. "Hello Harry. I'm alive. And yes, I was doing one of your best friends."
Harry raced over and gave Sirius a Hug. "I cant believe it, but how?" he asked grabbing Sirius's sterling buttocks.
"What? How am I alive? Well Actually I'm not. I am not even here." He said pushing Harry off of him.
Confusion crossed Harry's face as he stared into Sirius eyes.. Staring as if he has something stuck up his nose, or as if there was something pussing out of his face. A very deep stare. "I don't understand." he said. "I don't care as long as I can see you and touch you." He said latching on to Sirius's waist. "I'll NEVER LET GO!"
Sirius's eyes widened, " No Harry, Don't touch me, Ill get a boner or something." He said pushing him off once again. Suddenly the doors burst open. Harry and the others jolted around to see Professor Umbridge walking down the isle between the tables.
It was quiet… Pausing Umbridge looked over at Harry, and then snapped her fingers…. The Lights grew dim, and the doors shut. "Its show time" she said under her incredibly horrid breath, because she hadn't brushed in 3 weeks. Getting on top of the gryffindors table, she took of her coat. Music suddenly began drifting softly into the hall. WHEN….. "ITS RAINING MEN" Blared through everyone's ears. Umbridge was lip sinking. She began unbuttoning her blouse while shaking her hips repeatedly.
Harry looked around to find back up dancers being lowered on wires from the ceiling, wearing thongs that sparkled in the light. Now Realizing the Umbridge was braless and her sagging boobs were flailing in the air, Harry threw up and blacked out…..which he then landed in his throw up……