Theme 10: Food

"We need to talk," Ban bluntly stated, placing a plate of breakfast on the bar in front of the yawning princess. Meliodas sat next to her, already scarfing down his plate as quick as possible. Hawk, meanwhile, ran between their bar stools in dismay, knowing scraps rarely fell from plates that Ban prepared.

"Tal' abow' wha?" Meliodas asked through a mouth stuffed with fluffy eggs, trying to shove another forkful in. Elizabeth lightly smacked his arm, chastising him for talking with his mouth full. Etiquette lessons from an early age didn't allow her to accept such habits.

"Talk about food," Ban stated, untying the frilly apron from around his waist.

Meliodas swallowed, "Great! Love that topic!" His plate had been cleared, so he took a stab at Elizabeth's. Her eggs had entered his mouth before she could blink.

"Hey!" she gasped, her voice turning into a whine as her tired eyes grew wide.

He pecked her on the cheek, giving her a grin before shoving the fork into his mouth again. She blushed lightly, but stopped her complaint before it started, obviously appeased; or at least, too shocked to comment.

Ban rolled his eyes at the two, running his fingers through his spiked hair in exasperation. "Well, you may not like what I'm going to mention about food. Or should I say, about cooking."

"I hope you're not going to say you're tired of cooking, because I refuse to give you a different job," Meliodas joked. He had been thrilled with how easy it was to turn the Sins into his part time staff. Diane made a good waitress, Ban made a fantastic chef. Gowther made… an acceptable waitress, much to everyone's dismay. Meliodas usually threw King into doing dishes to pay his rent, and while the man complained, the job got done.

"No," Ban interrupted, "I'm not tired of cooking. And I'll cook for this tavern as long as you attempt to otherwise poison everyone. But-"

"But?"

"BUT," Ban said, a hint of warning to his voice, "I won't be around for you two you entire lives. And we all probably won't be working at this bar forever. So one day, somehow, you are both going to have to learn how to make food that is edible."

Meliodas blinked at him, listening to his point, before turning to the very quiet princess next to him. "You don't know how to cook?" he questioned. He'd never really asked Elizabeth to cook, and had never even seen her around the kitchen; she looked too nice in a waitressing uniform for him to want her doing much else. And looking back at it now, he supposed it was a pretty hefty assumption to make; she'd lived in a castle her whole life.

She smiled a bit sheepishly, a lock of hair twirling in her fingers as she looked at her plate. "W-well, I mean, I'm sure I could learn-"

"She's awful! Almost as bad as you… almost," Ban interjected. Elizabeth spluttered a bit, nearly falling off her chair as her face and neck flushed at the blatant honesty about her lack of skills.

Meliodas put a reassuring arm around Elizabeth's shoulder, letting his hand rest on her breast, much to her embarrassed dismay. "Hey, don't be mean to her!"

"No," Elizabeth stated, a bit down as she placed her fork gently on her plate, "he's right… I really don't know how to do any of these things for myself."

"Now look what you've done," Meliodas chastised Ban, though it was still a tone lighthearted enough for Ban to know he wouldn't be slammed through a tavern wall covered in holes. Insulting the princess, he knew there was about a 50/50 chance. While the Captain had sent him through the tavern's architecture a few times so far, the regeneration time was always a pain. As was getting the blood out of his clothes.

"Well, here's the good news," Ban added playfully, "I'm going to give you lessons~!"

"Lessons?" Elizabeth questioned.

"Correct~!"

"Cooking lessons?"

"Bingo, Princess! I don't think I can ever make you two professional chefs, or even good cooks, but I'll be damned if you two end up married and poisoning each other every day," the Sin snickered loudly, "Could you imagine?"

The word marriage left Elizabeth a blushing and squealing mess, her violet-tinted face covered by her hands. Meliodas, meanwhile, looked nothing but curious, his eyes bright on his otherwise indifferent face.

"Huh," the captain finally commented, "Not a bad idea. But I don't think you understand quite how bad I am. I have genuinely tried to cook before, but it always ends up how you've seen. I can make it look good, but the taste is… well, you've tried it."

Ban sighed loudly as he reminisced about the few tastes he had dared to give Meliodas's attempts over the years; a shudder ran through him at the memory. "Don't worry. I've made a learn-to-cook plan that is so simple that even you can manage."

Or at least, he had thought.

oOoOoOo

Rather than on the simple task in front of him, Meliodas's mind revolved around aprons. Specifically, how there was a rather apparent lack of them in the Boar's Hat, and how he really should invest in more. Ban had one, and that was all fine and good; but as he looked at the one Elizabeth wore tied around her neck, covered in lace and dipping a bit low on her chest, her cheeks blushing and her lip bitten as she focused on whisking the small bowl of eggs in front of her… Yes, he decided he liked aprons on her a lot, and he should invest in many more of them. In different styles and colors. Maybe one that was a bit tighter on top, and a bit shorter on the legs. Oh! Or one of those french maid-

"You aren't whisking, Captain~" Ban sang, warning thick in his tone. The Sin of Greed paced around the two cooks-in-the-making, a dangerous predator to his prey. Meliodas snapped out of his daze as dragged his eyes from the concentrated princess standing beside him back to his own bowl. He tried to move his wrist in the same way Ban had shown them in order to whisk the eggs properly, but he couldn't quite get the motion to go as smoothly. Drops of yellow splattered out of the bowl sloppily, joining Elizabeth's own mess on the wooden counter.

As long as the eggs ended up mixed it should be fine, Meliodas figured. Besides the fact the counter was covered with half of what they were supposed to be cooking, Meliodas thought lessons were going rather well so far. He wondered where he usually messed up in his cooking experiments, but it was all a blur.

"We're making a mess," Elizabeth whined, obviously embarrassed. Ban had his back turned to prepare the stove a few feet away, and she had taken the opportunity being out of his watchful eye to express her distress to the Captain next to her.

Meliodas continued his stirring as he gave her an encouraging smile. "Cleaning is easy! If you can make something edible, who cares about the mess. It's a worry for later."

"You're right," she easily agreed, "I wish they had taught me how to cook when I was younger. Margaret insisted on learning, so she knows how. But I never thought it was necessary."

"Well," Meliodas pondered, "when you have a bunch of servants to cook for you, who needs to know?"

"I suppose," her eyes went downcast as she lowered her chin, her hand slowing before she put down the whisk, "I just… I can't fight. And I barely have a grasp on my healing. It would be nice if I at least had skills like this to contribute."

"Contribute to what, exactly?"

Her eyes met his, both equally confused. "Contribute to-" she hesitated, not knowing the words, "I don't know, being of use to you. To everyone."

He smiled at her warmly, picking up her whisk and throwing it into the air, catching it after it made its flipping descent, splattering more egg as it reached his hand. "You worry too much! You need to stop measuring your worth using your power level or the amount of skills you have. You're important in your own way!" he encouraged genuinely as she slowly took the whisk back from his extended hand. "More important than anyone else," he added.

She flushed, about to respond when Ban returned and cut her off, "You better start talking me up like that Captain, before I leave you here to starve."

"You cook, and I give you free ale! And a place to stay! I think it's a pretty fair exchange," Meliodas joked.

"True enough," Ban flashed a mischievous grin, his pointed smile making it clear that those ales were not far from his mind, particularly after dealing with these two.

"We are very grateful for you, Sir Ban," Elizabeth tacked on politely, "it's very kind of you to try and help us!" Meliodas was glad she managed to be courteous on both of their behalfs.

"Yeah, yeah," Ban brushed off; genuine compliments did nothing but make him feel awkward. "Looks like you guys have gotten the gist of stirring a single ingredient. Which is great, I congratulate you," he deadpanned. "Next, we will work on cooking said ingredient. It requires a pan and a fire. Very intricate stuff." He had gone from monotonous to sarcastic very quickly, using a tone similar to dealing with small children. Meliodas wanted to defend himself, but with children out there who were far better cooks than him, he supposed it was fair to be belittled.

"Alright!" Meliodas clapped, "show us how it's done!"

"First," Ban carefully began, trying to hold back his smirk, "the stove turns on about this much," he presented the medium level flame before placing the skillet on top.

"I'm following you so far," Meliodas commented, checking on Elizabeth. She nodded, deeply observant, as if this information was life or death. She was cute when she was focused. He liked the way she pursed her lips as she observed. Suddenly, his thoughts were back to her lips again and how nice they had felt against his. Maybe he could just quickly lean over and-

And a wooden spoon was thrown against his head, ricocheting to the floor.

"Hey!" Meliodas turned to the culprit, whose red eyes were narrowed sharply at him, "What was that for?!" Elizabeth had already begun looking at his head, distressed; her concern for him was charming, if not totally unnecessary.

"For losing focus, again. These are basic instructions to follow, try to comprehend all TWO of the steps."

"Fine!" Meliodas huffed, keeping his eyes off the princess beside him and narrowed in on the stove. "Low fire, a pot on top. Got it."

"Medium fire. A skillet on top."

Meliodas waved his hand dismissively, unconcerned with the correction.

"Anyways~" the Fox Sin continued, "we are going to take the bowl of eggs," he grabbed his bowl, previously whisked to perfection, "and pour it into the pan!"

Elizabeth nodded rapidly, taking internal notes; she just wanted one meal she could prepare correctly. It would make her feel so much better about herself, as simple as it was! Meliodas, however, was instantly suspicious.

"And then they just…" Meliodas took a step closer to the stove, peaking at the eggs are they sizzled in the pan, "they just cook? That's it?"

"That is truly it, Captain."

Meliodas put his fingers to his chin, deep in thought. It seemed… too simple. He watched the way Ban shoved the solidifying eggs around the pan, and he couldn't deny - they were turning into scrambled eggs. But something just didn't seem right, something he couldn't put his finger on.

Ban finished pushing the eggs around the pan, scooping them onto a glass plate. He made sure the pan was free of residue before placing it back over the flames, returning his gaze to his two temporary students. "That's that! Elizabeth, you're up first. Let's see if the princess can learn something new~!"

"Yes! Right! I think I got it!" Elizabeth immediately replied in confidence and determination, her fingers tightly gripping her bowl. She took the strides up besides Ban; Meliodas slowly followed behind her, trying to figure out what felt so wrong about this whole process.

"So I just-" the princess carefully tipped her bowl over the pan, the mixture pouring into her pan. Elizabeth stared at the eggs cooking for a few moments, fretting over what could go wrong. But as they began to sizzle around the edges, her eyes went wide and bright. She had done it! Thank goodness!

"Yeah, that's pretty much it," Ban said, not knowing why the princess looked like she had just cured all disease and solved world hunger. "Easy stuff, huh?"

"Y-yeah!" Elizabeth noted, excited at the prospect of not ruining a meal. She couldn't keep the glow off her features as she pushed the spatula around.

Meliodas admired how happy she was, and how appealing it was to see her being domestic. Elizabeth looked over at him, proud to show off her accomplishments, her eyes begging for his approval. He smiled good naturedly, nodding in praise. "Looks great! Is it my turn now?"

"Yeah, but you get a bonus challenge!" Ban announced.

"What's that?"

"This time, I'm going to leave you here as I step outside the room. This way, we can test if you can cook a single successful meal not under my watchful eye. You'll have Elizabeth here, who is practically an expert at this point, to help. As I'm sure you will have her your entire life. I'll only be outside, just in case there is a fire or explosion."

With that, Ban left the room, leaving behind a determined Meliodas and a blushing Elizabeth. Meliodas kept his hands on his bowl of mixture, looking down at the skillet, his lips pursing as he again wondered what felt so off. Elizabeth observed him nervously, rubbing her apron against her legs. "It isn't so difficult, Meliodas! You just pour. It was very easy!"

"Mm, I don't know. It just doesn't feel right."

Elizabeth's head tilted to the side, confused, "f-feel right?"

"Yeah! I mean, I saw that it worked and yet… I feel like something was missing, you know?"

"I…" she hesitated, "I don't think I'm following? What's missing? It's just eggs, Meliodas."

He nodded slowly, his lips tightening further as his eyes narrowed at the skillet, the bowl still remaining in his hands. If he could just figure out what was bothering him…

"Wait! I got it!" he finally announced, Elizabeth jumping as he shouted, the realization finally coming to him as he placed the bowl next to the skillet. He eagerly began his search through the nearby cabinets.

"M-meliodas? What are you doing? Sir Ban wanted you to-"

"Shh! I definitely know what I'm doing! Trust me!" Half of his body was now concealed as he climbed deeper into the back of the cabinet. A few moments of rustling and the sound of clanging and thumps later, the Sin backed out of the cabinet, a wide smile plastered to his face as he showed Elizabeth his prize: which was, apparently, a giant box of… garlic?

"What am I looking at?" Elizabeth questioned, her eyebrows drawn together. Her voice was dazed at this point as the Captain did nothing to explain his strange behavior.

"Garlic, of course! I just knew the eggs needed something, ya know?! I had a gut feeling. I just couldn't cook them like that. Call it instinct."

"Meliodas…" Elizabeth began, her voice gentle and careful, "you are so talented at so much… and your instincts are usually very good-"

"Awe, thanks!"

"But!" Elizabeth quickly interrupted, "I really don't think cooking has ever been… your instinctual strength?"

Meliodas smiled, completely unwavered, "Listen, I get where you're coming from! Truly! But just trust me. Did a little, tiny bit of spice every completely ruin a dish? We are going to look like professionals, and Ban will just be overjoyed with us."

"I'm not sure…" she said worriedly, even as Meliodas pulled out a knife, already chopping away at the cloves of garlic, putting more than a tiny bit directly into the egg mixture before pouring the bowl into the skillet. The smell immediately began to flood the room, and Elizabeth had known they had made a mistake.

"Mm, maybe I put a bit much," Meliodas noted as he picked up the spatula, pushing the cooking mixture around as smoke began to rise. "But wait, I think I know something that will cancel it out. There's a spice that cancels out the taste of garlic, isn't there?"

"I-I think it'll be best to just leave it, I'm not sure if-"

"Cinnamon! I think it's cinnamon."

Elizabeth's mouth fell open a bit, her anxiety skyrocketing. Ban was right on the other side of the door. Maybe if she just stepped out, asked him to help this mess before it spiraled into a disaster. But she didn't want to wound Meliodas's pride! Or think she didn't believe in him! She did believe in him, and she wanted to be supportive. Maybe he really did know what he was doing; she'd just have to trust him!

"Y-yeah! Maybe it is cinnamon, I think I've heard that before!" She lit up; she had faith in Meliodas! And this was their first meal they were making together! Her anxiousness turned to excitement. Maybe it really would turn out great, and Ban would be proud and congratulate them, and maybe he'd say that Meliodas and her would make an amazing, successful, domestic couple. The thought left her pink.

"I'm glad to have your support!" He began to sprinkle the brown powder onto the concoction, "See! This works!"

"But maybe it's a bit sweet?" Elizabeth observed.

"You're probably right. How do we balance that out?"

"We can…" Elizabeth pondered, looking through the ingredients around the kitchen, pacing and searching through cabinets. "Oh! We can add this pepper!" She showed him a bottle of the spicy flakes.

"Incredible idea! Elizabeth, you are truly one of a kind!" Meliodas cheered, much to Elizabeth's pleasure. She handed him the bottle and he began to grind the bits onto the top. What once was a simple egg mixture had turned an angry brown color, and was just beginning to burn when Meliodas turned off the flame. "Perfect! I think this will definitely be something great."

"Yes! I have one hundred percent faith in what you've created!" Elizabeth assured him, losing her senses in the excitement of cooking.

"It smells a bit off, but a lot of good things do. Look at King, for example!"

"Yes! I agree!" She pushed a fork through the meal, trying to shape it into something better looking. As she managed to mold in into the semblance of a heart, Ban reentered, slamming open the door.

"I step outside to yell at King for a few minutes, and I enter to this place smoking and smelling like hell! What could you possibly mess up in that little time?!"

"We didn't mess it up!" Meliodas quickly defended, his arm going around Elizabeth who was proudly holding the heart-shaped meal. "We enhanced it. Together! Our first meal, and I think it looks pretty great! Look, Elizabeth even made it into a cute shape!"

Ban sighed, unwilling to argue. "Fine, fine. Let's try a taste test then, shall we?"

"Go ahead and try!" Meliodas confidently encouraged.

"Oh no you don't! If I'm going down, you're going down with me. Grab a fork, Captain~!" Ban roughly pulled out a chair, plopping down at the table.

"Fine!" he removed his arm from Elizabeth, taking the plate from her hands and placing it on the table between them. Each of the two scooped a bit of the meal, Elizabeth onlooking nervously.

"Three… two..." Ban counted, sighing again as he knew he was counting down to his stomach's demise, "One!"

The two Sins shoved the forks into their mouths, Elizabeth leaning forward in anticipation. For a few moments, the room stood still as they chewed and swallowed. Both remained frozen as the seconds ticked by. "Well…?" Elizabeth asked, curious about their lack of reaction.

In another instant, the Sins were shoving each other as they headed towards the waste basket, spewing their food out as their insides angrily protested the abomination. Elizabeth sighed; well, at least they had tried. Maybe she could learn a few more basic meals from Ban someday, as long as she carefully followed the steps. And didn't let Meliodas enter the kitchen.

"I don't know what to say, Captain," Ban wheezed, his stomach still heaving, "But I'm glad if you two are going to poison each other for the rest of eternity, you at least chose to date a healer."

AN: Hello again :,). I'm a failure at updating. I don't even have a defense. I legitimately have like seven different chapters of this started, anywhere from 10-90%% completed. Ranging from serious dark stuff to COOKING SCRAMBLED EGGS, I GUESS. But I actually had fun writing this. I love domestic Melizabeth, and also how they both suck at cooking. Everyone had just assumed she'd be the chef of the relationship, and when it ended up she was also equally awful, I was thrilled.

Another fun fact is Tumblr dot com is doing an NNT week this week, which I didn't remember until last night, and the theme for today was actually Food! What a happy coincidence.

I'll probably update this again before I even touch Seconds to Go. I've been on a bit on a Melizabeth slump; I still love them to death but I'm just an awful writer with no motivation. Also I know I said a few chapters ago I would start answer reviews in chapter but that was just a failed thing that I suck at and didn't do, so I'll probably keep responding privately. Forgive me, I'm awful and suffering.