A/N: Sheesh! I'm so sorry for the wait, readers. I'm now coming to the end of my final year, and so I've had to work pretty hard. This story has been fighting me all the way since chapter seven, but I've finally got one for you! I'm not totally happy with it, but I'll be glad to hear your opinions. I am sad to say that this story will probably be wrapping itself up pretty soon, within the next five chapters or so I think, and I'll try to get more to you as soon as possible! Enjoy!
Chapter 10
Tyler opened his mouth almost instantly – he loved Reid like a brother, and keeping such a huge secret from him had been both hard and weighing terribly heavy on his conscience – but a glare from Kai kept him quiet. Reid noticed the exchange, and his expression grew darker. Slowly, the dark girl stepped out of his arms, her natural grace not reduced by the reluctance that showed in every line of her lithe body. When she looked up at him, her eyes were liquid with sadness.
"I had not intended to tell you like this. Iregi being here, however, changes things."
Her eyes were pleading as they locked with his, and confusion welled inside him when she suddenly went still. Then there was a grinding sound that set his teeth on edge and made him dig his nails into his palms as Kai's mouth dropped open in a silent scream. She fought to keep her eyes on Reid, fought to bare to him the part of her that she had struggled so long to control through the painful throbbing in all the muscles in her body that was so intense it made her gasp for breath. The sound of her clothing ripping at the seams seemed to echo the ripping, tearing pain suddenly screaming in every inch of her.
Seeing her spine arch in obvious agony as her arms began to shorten and her shoulder-blades rotated outwards, he leaped for her, but Pogue caught his arm to hold him back and-
-Kai's head rocked forward, at last breaking their eye contact, as the muscles around her neck swelled, and she felt the tug at her scalp as her hair began to grow, and then the most painful part of all as she felt her organs shifting inside her and, God-
-it hurt, whatever was happening to her was hurting her, and he fought Pogue's hold as her body was wracked by a spasm of total agony, and then he felt it, that soft rush of Power and oh God, it was Kai, she was-
-cat.
Her head rose slowly, sinuously, stretching sore muscles to shake off the last, subsiding shudders of pain. Kate and Sarah looked on in stunned horror, backing into their boyfriends' protective embraces and Tyler, who had known about but never seen the Change before, swallowed a vague feeling of nausea; Kai had eyes only for Reid, who was staring at her with a mixture of wonder and building temper, and behind it all was the aching, gnawing pain of her betrayal that only she could see. Padding forward, she did something she had sworn never to do; on reaching his feet, she lowered herself deliberately towards the floor and then, with a final, piercing glance at him, she sunk into a gesture that was unmistakeably a bow of total subservience.
Reid looked down at the huge animal before him, at the great head, bowed in a mark of voluntary slavery, at the lean muscles, relaxed in total trust, and at the huge paws, hiding deadly claws that could end his life in seconds. Slowly, almost in a trance, he reached out a trembling hand and rested it against the sleek fur. The regal animal didn't move so much as an inch, but the moment he touched her, a connection roared to life between them and he was slammed with a deluge of information and feelings; he could feel Kai's trepidation, her fear of rejection, her affection for his brothers, her respect and fondness for Kate and Sarah, and above it all a deep, abiding love for him that made his breath falter. Fascinated, he dug deeper, meeting no resistance, and then he touched something that made her recoil.
Kai felt him probe that dark, hidden corner of her mind, expanded in her current form, and flinched back. Ruthless, he grabbed for it, his sudden anger at her perceived treachery making him cold to her cries of warning. She fought, their physical bodies locked in stasis, their minds engaged in a fierce battle of wills as she tried to conceal what she was still so reluctant to let him see and he tried to climb inside every last corner of her mind in an effort to understand her. Slowly, still struggling against her, he began to hear her voice in his own mind, the surprise weakening his hold for a moment.
'Please, please don't, oh God, Reid, can't lose him, won't lose him, no, nonono, please, so ashamed, Reid please, help me, don't let him…'
The litany continued until at last he broke into it, his mental voice harsher than he'd intended. You lied to me! You hid this from me.
Her growling, smoky voice paused, then: 'I'm sorry.'
Her lack of denial made his anger cool slightly. Why?
'I wanted to inform you of my… condition on my own terms, in my own time.'
His hurt swelled again, and with it his anger. Then how come the others know? They do, don't they?
'Yes. Pogue and Caleb discovered this coincidentally, Tyler because they wished it. You, however, I wanted to enlighten myself.'
Reid's physical body relaxed slightly, his hand easing the painful grip it had taken on her fur. His voice, however, was still cold. Why did you wait?
'There are parts of me that are not…obedient to human ideals and morals. Those parts make me do things that you would be ashamed of. Do you blame me for being reluctant to show them to you?'
She could hear the sneer behind his words. You don't love me. You can't, because you obviously don't trust me, and lovers are supposed to share everything, right? Guess you're just a user like me. How the mighty have fallen! He mocked her bitterly.
Although she knew she had been in the wrong, and he could feel that she knew it, he had wanted to hurt her, wanted to distance himself from this deep, overwhelming connection that made her betrayal seem understandable. He felt the sudden surge of hot anger that swirled in her chest, laced with a feral ferocity that made him shudder.
'Well then!' Her voice was a terrible snarl. 'You may judge for yourself if I had the right to desire my privacy!'
The others, watching the strange communion, saw Kai's lips wrinkle to bare her teeth, Reid's body suddenly stiffening, his head flying back as a spasm tore through him, before the pair returned to their eerie, silent stillness. Inside their minds, now melded together inseparably by the girl's iron will, Kai had suddenly wrenched open the gates to that last, hidden corner of her mind and a tidal wave of powerful, compelling instincts crashed over and around the blonde.
For a moment he was paralyzed as all of the cat's responses fought for dominance inside him. He breathed in on a choked gasp, and suddenly his mind was flooded with information as hundreds of scents clamoured for attention. Flinching at the conflict, he hurriedly exhaled, and when he breathed in again Kai took over sorting through the smells with an easy grace that astonished him. He had hardly any time to wonder at it before he suddenly became aware of a heavy, throbbing sound that beat against his eardrums, and as he realised that he was hearing the heartbeats of their friends, his mouth watered and he suddenly wanted to leap at them, to tear their flesh and feel the hot, sweet blood rushing across his taste buds.
Horrified but powerless in the face of the strength of the instinct, he struggled wildly until the crushing force of the compulsion faded; it took him a few moments to gather his wits enough to realise that Kat was dealing with each new impulse as he felt it, controlling them with the ease of long practice. He remained motionless, breathing hard, for a long few minutes once the urge faded, shaken by what he had wanted to do to people he loved and trusted. Still trembling, he began to carefully explore the strange, primal part of her that she'd been so reluctant to share with him. As images flashed before and around him, he finally understood why.
He felt the panic of her first Change, wholly unexpected to a lonely ten-year-old girl lost in the wilderness, and the way she'd helplessly been borne along by the panther's natural urges and desires. He felt the rush of savage triumph at her first kill, their first kill – only a blind rat, but their first successful hunt alone. He tasted the blood of their prey in their mouth, craved its rich flavour in the times of hunger, revelled in the strength it afforded them. He knew the aching sadness of their first and only human kill – one of Iregi's comrades, one of the Bayanyoki, the traitors – but felt the underlying satisfaction of having fought for and protected their tribe, their kin.
Slowly Reid began to pull himself away, to separate his awareness from Kai's as the girl watched passively. He stood back as the gates to that secret corner of her mind softly shut behind him, and felt a wave of warmth drift from her to him as she gently helped him break off the connection and retreat back into his own body. Their friends, watching anxiously, saw the blonde move first, taking in a deep, gasping breath before his eyes slowly opened, his hand dropping away from the cat's head. Kai moved then, rising from her crouch and casting a longing, understanding look at him before she turned and prowled into the darkness. There was a familiar whisper of Power and an owl, almost invisible against the night sky because of its unusual colouring, coasted past them and was swallowed by the darkness.
The others all watched the bird vanish before turning back to Reid. Sarah was the first to speak.
"Where's she going?"
The blonde's eyes remained on the spot where the owl had disappeared, but an enigmatic smile lifted his lips. "She's giving me time."