It was wrong. It had to be wrong. But I just couldn't stop smiling and acting giddy to save myself. I hadn't felt such sort of happiness in years and even if people like me didn't deserve to feel this happy, I was practically skipping thru the bakery this morning. I would have broken into song and started dancing if anyone had asked me to, such where the joyous feeling I had inside me. Finally, after all this time, the cold feeling in my stomach meant something good. I just couldn't wait for Matthew to arrive so I could have him in my arms again, to be able to kiss him and hold him close. To speak sweet nothings into his ears and lose myself into his eyes. I wanted to show him my love the best way I knew how and spoil him for any other lover that could come after me. I wanted him to be mine and only mine, even if it was only for a few moments before the girls arrived for work.
The second I heard the bell ringing my heart started speeding up in anticipation. Oh I hoped it was my sweet angel coming in. And when his golden locks poked themselves inside the kitchen and I finally got to see again those lovely eyes I could have passed out from pure joy. He was just too perfect, his morning smile alone could have finished me off. And yet he came over to hold be close and press his maple sweet lips against mine and I melted right away into his arms.
"Bonjour Francis." Oh his soft voice was like an angel's whisper.
"Bonjour mon chou." I pulled him back to my lips. There was no way I could get enough of him. I wanted him with me for the rest of my life. So it was with a lot of reluctance that I parted from him a second time.
"Are Alfred and Arthur in the front?" I really hoped not. Because then it meant I could spend our first morning as a couple kissing him senseless.
But the why he sighed and lowered his head told me all I really had to know. "Yes, they are."
"And did you tell them?" Not that I didn't trust my sweet angel, but I really had to make sure. It was for his own safety that all of this had to remain a secret.
"No. They don't know." I pecked his lips.
"Bon. Now, let's go deal with them quickly so we can have some time for ourselves before the girls come in." Oh the way he blushed was so sweet. I squeezed his hand reassuringly before I released it to walk to the front part of the store.
"Bonjour mes ami. How may I be of service for you today?"
We began our morning routine as usual. Alfred started ordering huge amounts of food while Arthur complained and I teased him mercilessly. Nothing felt out of the ordinary yet I was so happy the entire thing seemed like an entirely different experience. Everything just seemed more alive as I gathered enough sweets to give five people diabetes for Alfred and watched Arthur turning redder by the minute. It seemed as I had finally started living again. Thinking back about it, I really haven't truly felt alive since Antonio and Gilbert's disappearance. And now, thanks to my angel, I was perhaps finally recovering from it.
As soon as Arthur and Alfred went out the door, I was back inside the kitchen with Matthew in my arms until we heard the bell announcing the arrival of Mona and Chells into the shop. As brief as it was, it had been a perfect morning alone with my sweet angel. We opened up normally, and Matthew and I were acting just as we did before. I believe the girls never noticed how thru out the day, Matthew and I would share the most discreet of touches and glances. Every time his hands connected with mine, my heart would flutter happily and my smile would grow wider in pleasure, thought I had been smiling quite happily all day so they probably never noticed it actually grew wider when near Matthew.
It was only in the middle of the afternoon that this perfect day went sour. I had been inside baking with Matthew beside me, our hips and shoulders discreetly touching, when Mona opened the door calling for me.
"Oui ma cherie? What is it?" I was fast at taking a step away from Matthew just in case.
"Francis, there is an officer in the store wanting to speak with you." Cold stones were set into my guts. What was this about? If it had been Alfred or Arthur she would have used their names right? Calling whoever was outside an officer meant it was someone she didn't know. Had something gone wrong? Had they figured it out?
I walked out to the front of the store. A blond man in a police uniform was casually talking to Chells. Medium high with a medium built. Chells saw me and pointed me out. He turned and I could see he had green eyes behind a wire framed glasses that were similar to Alfred and Matthew's glasses. He thanked her and walked towards me. As unimpressive and as un-intimidating as he was, I was holding myself from shaking in fear. That blue uniform was all someone needed to make me tremble. And then he finally was in front of me and held out his hand.
"Mr. Bonnefoy. My name is Eduard Von Bock. I have some issues I would like to discuss with you in private if possible." I took his hand politely. Mon Dieu someone save me please. I was going to faint.
"Of course, why don't we go to my office to talk?" I dearly hoped my voice didn't come out weird. It was becoming hard enough to keep a normal face.
I guided him to my office and closed the door. I went ahead and sat at the desk, my legs couldn't handle my weight for now, and if this cop turned out to question about the wrong thing I would probably break. "Please, take a seat."
"Thank you." He took the seat in front of me. "Before we begin Mr. Bonnefoy, I would just like to ask, do you use Russian meat into your pies?" My heart stopped. Merde.
"No, my meat comes from inostranets." Please, oh please, don't say the next part.
"I understand, all for the semʹya. Da?" Well fuck. I was dealing with a Russian mobster.
"Da." I hated speaking Russian. I hated that I had to memorize this stupid script. I hated dealing with the family. I would much rather deal with a cop then deal with the mob.
"I have to be honest , I was not expecting someone like you." Oh I loathed the man now. Damn monster attempting to look proper and respectful. My hand itched for a blade from my vault so I could slice him up like he deserved.
"And I was not expecting someone such as you to be wearing such uniforms." I was practically spiting the words out. It was very hard to be respectful without sounding sarcastic when I dealt with them. So I had long opted not to try to sound respectful, I believed most of them just thought my hate was amusing.
"I understand the confusion. I am what you would call a snitch. Usually I deal with the control of information leaked to the police departments. Just so it looks like they are heading forwards with their investigations, and to warn the family if anything unpredicted happens. I am actually here today on request of Mr. Braginski." That name sounded familiar. Wasn't that Ivan's last name?
"You mean Ivan?" What the hell was that mad man doing this time?
"Ah…Yes. I am here on Ivan Braginski's behalf. As he headed back to Russia for the succession ceremony this morning, he left me in charge of informing you if anything concerning your request occurred." Wait? What? Ivan had gone to Russia? And what the hell was this request?
"What request? I haven't asked for anything?" What on earth was happening?
Eduard, for some reason, seemed to grow a bit anxious. He adjusted his glasses and shifted a bit before answering me. "Did you not request your men to search for the thief that foolishly robbed you?" I groaned. Damn Ivan.
"No I did not. But as you are here, I assume something happened." I was going to have a long talk with Ivan about meddling with someone else's private life when he came back. Sure it must have meant to be a nice gesture, but it was something I did not want to be responsible for.
"Ah… yes. Your men where able to locate and apprehend the thief, and they wanted to know what it was to be done with him. One of them, Mathias, I believe, had some very, enthusiastic ideas."
I sighed. "Have them take the thief to the police and let them handle him. I wish to take no part of this." Since when had I any men under my control? I bet that was part of whatever Ivan had planned. I really was going to need to have a talk with him. "Is this all?" I hoped it was.
"There is one more matter I would like to address. When the new boss returns, a party is to be hosted as a mean to renewal the family bonds to the new boss. I was told to remind you that your presence is mandatory for this specific gathering, as you have not gone to any of the gathering so far. An invitation will be delivered to you when the time comes." I glared at him.
"And if I still refuse?" Like hell would I be going to a mob gathering to renew my contract with those monsters. If anything I would find a way to terminate it.
"The consequences of such actions will be for the new boss to decide. But I believe they will not be of any pleasant nature. That is all. Have a good day." He rose himself from the seat and tipped his cap.
As I watched him leave I slumped back into my chair. Dieu I loathed dealing with them. I had completely forgotten that the old boss had passed away. Who ever this new boss was going to be I could bet it wouldn't be any better. He was probably going to be a sick sadistic bastard just like the old one. And I was going to have to meet the man this time. My eyes wondered to the vault. I knew my blades would be sitting inside, one clean slash and I would never have to deal with them again. One clean cut and I would never have to meet the new boss and be forced to keep up with this miserable life. No more threats, no more worries, no more hiding and lying.
My hand was practically over the vault's handle when I heard the soft knocking on my door. "Francis? Is everything ok?"
Matthew, my sweet angel, how could I think of leaving him behind? "Oui mon chou. You may come in, everything is fine."
He walked inside and closed the door behind him. He walked closer to me and I pulled him into my lap. Everything felt so much better with his arms wrapping around me and my face hidden into his chest. "What did that cop want Francis?" His hand was stoking my hair softly, and I sighed with pleasure.
"Nothing mon petite, he just wanted to inform me on the theft report I did a while ago." That was half true anyway.
"Oh. Well, then you are still open to go on a date with me tonight after work?" I love this boy. I love him with all that is left of my sorry miserable heart.
"Oui mon cher, I am. Do you know what you want to do yet?" I pulled away a bit just so I could see his blushing face. My hands wrapped around his and I started to kiss his knuckles lovingly. He was just too precious for me, too perfect.
"Ah… well… there is this café. It's small and pretty much unknown, but it's nice and… since we are being discreet… I thought we could, maybe go there. I'm pretty sure no one we know goes there anyway, so." He blushed more, and I felt like he couldn't be more perfect.
"That sounds wonderful. We will go there once the shop is closed then." I pecked his lips to end the subject.
We stood up and went back to work, but all thru the rest of the day I couldn't get myself to be as happy as I had been this morning. Now every time I glanced at Matthew I began to worry. I shouldn't have believed I could keep him safe that easily. I was putting him in danger just because of who I was, what would happen to him if I slipped something out? Would the mere knowledge of what I did behind his back put him in danger? Would he reject me if he knew? Would he turn me in? I remember that the family's rules about being discovered where very clear in that sense, you either forced them to join or killed them. And yet I could never do any of those to him. I would never damn him to the miserable life of the mob or be able to harm him.
We closed the shop as usual and I kissed my girls good night. Matthew had left before them, we would go to the café separately to help not raise suspicion. When the entire shop was locked, I walked to my motorcycle to head to the café. According to Matthew's note with the address, the café was a bit far but simple to find. During the way there, I did my best to push any troublesome thought away, this was suppose to be my first date with Matthew, I had to put my head into thinking of him and only him.
It turned out the café was underground. A chalk sing announcing that the dish of the day was tomato soup was in front of the stairs that leaded to the place. The inside was actually quite charming, books and posters where scattered around the walls, there was a rainbow flag hanging in one of the walls announcing the gay friendly environment, some nice contemporary jazz was playing on the back ground and there was a medium size stage on one of the corners next to the bar. All in all, it looked like a nice place for college students to hang out. I ended up walking straight to a table hidden behind some potted plants.
A perky brunette in a green dress and a pink flower in her hair came to stand next to me. "Good evening. My name is Elizaveta and I am the owner and your waitress tonight. Can I get you something?"
"Bonsoir, two glasses of wine and some water please ma belle." I smiled charmingly at her. She blushed a bit, smiled and scribbled down on her note pad.
"Expecting someone?" She gave a mischievous look at my direction.
I hesitated for half a second to consider if I should keep flirting with her or not. No, it was better that this night remained about Matthew and only him. "Oui, I am."
"I see. Well, if he doesn't show up, I'm sure we can find someone for you to spend your evening with." She smiled at me and left.
I kept glancing around the walls waiting for Matthew to arrive. Somehow I could clearly see him coming to this place on his days off or to hang out with some friends. A few tables had people around them, a couple in one corner, some friends laughing and talking on the other. It was a very nice place indeed.
"Francis?" I heard Matthew calling me and turned my head. He saw me and came over to grace his lips upon mine. Such perfect lips that he had.
He sat next to me and held my hand close. "Do you like it here?"
"I loved it here, very like you mon chou." I kissed him again and again, until there was a coughing sound coming from next to us. Matthew pulled back completely read faced. He was so adorable I couldn't hold back a small laugh.
"Well, I see your date showed up. Good for you." Elizaveta smiled and placed the wine glasses and water on our table. "I'm terribly sorry for having interrupted but, someone asked me to give this to you." She pulled out a folded piece of paper from her apron and handed it to me. The she turned a finger at Matthew. "If I were you I'd keep a close eye on this one, not even twenty minutes since he walked in and they already pay his bill and make me deliver notes." And then she turned away and left.
Matthew placed his head on my shoulder. "Please tell my I don't have to worry about you getting swooped away from me." He mumbled. I would have laughed and taken his worries away. I would have proclaimed my love for him this second on that stage. But I couldn't. I couldn't take my eyes away from the note I had been handed.
"Francis?" Matthew lifted his head and looked at the note I was so intensely staring at. "Is everything ok? Who is it from?"
"A ghost." I whispered, for there was no way that the signature so eloquently done and the cute tomato drawing on the corner of the note could actually belong to my beloved missing friend Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.