Time for us all to take a trip into Paris with Edward. He really knows how to show us the sights! Thank you again Lillie Cullen for EVERYTHING! Everyone needs to be sure to check out all of Lillie's awesome stories that can be found here on the FanFic website.

Ascension

Chapter 10 - Paris

Edward

I tossed our suitcases on the bed and opened them. As soon as I was dressed, I grinned widely at Bella and went to take care of some items while she got ready. I disposed of the ruined sheet that I had placed in a trash bag in the kitchen. I made a mental note to have some new bed linens sent to the cottage for Alice. While I was disposing of the garbage, I quickly examined the perimeter around the cottage to make certain there were no unexpected, or unwanted, guests. Finding no one, I dashed back inside to get Bella.

She was already in the kitchen looking lovely in jeans and a blue blouse. Perfect. I pulled out a chair for her and said, "Please sit here and wait for me, love. I'll be right back." I ran into the bedroom, closed up our suitcases, and tucked them away in the closet. No need for anyone to see those if someone came window peeking. I tidied up everything, and went back to Bella. She looked slightly startled at how quickly I had returned and I smiled at her. I enjoyed that I could still surprise her. I gave her my arm and said, "My lady," at which she giggled deliciously. I walked her to the car and helped her in, making sure she put on her seat belt.

As I drove, I thought about what a perfect day it was going to be. I would not have to hide underneath a hat today because it was overcast. I also had wonderful things in mind to show Bella. It was going to be enjoyable for me because I would get to show her things she had never seen before. I ran over the conversation with Alice from earlier this morning in my head and felt satisfied that Bella and I would not be bothered by Jane and Demetri today.

My mind was still lost in my thoughts when Bella spoke and grounded me quickly in the reality that was Bella. "Edward?" Will I ever get tired of hearing her say my name? "What brought on that little display of lust this morning?" Is she angry? No. She is curious. She wonders what makes me tick? After all this time? Hmmm.

I chuckled. "You are beautiful when you are angry, and I wanted to prove to you that it didn't matter that it is not easy for me all the time. I will make love to you as much as you want me to while you are human, Bella. It is not as though I don't enjoy myself, and I wanted you to see that."

She smiled at me and this brought a whole new wave of lust into my head. I was afraid that I was turning into a sex-crazed lunatic, just like Emmett. I quickly shook that thought from my head. Surely this was a natural reaction to finally being intimate with Bella. I thought about her lustfully before, but always tried to suppress it because of my fear that it wasn't possible and my conviction that I would not do anything to take her virtue until we were married. Now that we were married, and I had proven to her, and myself, that I could be intimate with her without hurting her, it would be natural for me to feel this lust. After this analysis, I decided to allow myself to feel the lust dousing me in its flame. I began to become aroused however, and decided I should continue to suppress it. I wanted to make sure that we actually made it to Paris and what would Bella think if I walked around all day with a raging hard-on? She would be tremendously embarrassed and would probably refuse to go anywhere else with me. Bella's words brought me back to the present again.

"Edward, if it is ever too hard for you, all you have to do is say so. Promise me you will."

I chuckled again. "Okay, Bella, if it will make you feel better, I promise." Ah, my Bella, girl of the one track mind. Will she ever stop trying to sacrifice her own needs for mine?

I paid attention to where I was going now because we were in the middle of the city. The Paris traffic was difficult at best. I was headed for Notre Dame first so I ran over the route to get there in my mind.

"Where are we going, Edward?"

"Notre Dame, love."

She smiled a smile that lit her whole face up. It brought me great joy to see her so happy. I was glad I had made a good first choice. She was looking out the windows as we drove and seemed to be very absorbed in the different sights. She gasped when she saw the Eiffel Tower rising up above the city.

"Oh, Edward, it's beautiful," she said, pointing at it.

I nodded. "Yes, love, it is. Just wait until later," I said and smirked. I knew that she would be seeing the sunset from the top of the Eiffel Tower that night and couldn't wait to hear what she had to say about that.

Once we reached a parking area near the cathedral, I parked the car and we walked the rest of the way. Bella held her breath when we approached the front. She stopped and stared at the imposing front entrance of the cathedral with its wonderful architecture. We entered the cathedral via the Portal of Saint Anne, the southern-most portal. I whispered to Bella the history of the cathedral, and the symbolism of the towers, the statues, the stained glass windows, and pointed out all of the sculptures of the angels, kings, prophets, and elders of the apocalypse that adorned the portal.

Bella was like a child on Christmas morning gasping and pointing out things. She asked a million questions and I answered every one to the best of my knowledge. I showed her everything I knew about the cathedral, enjoying its beauty myself. It had been a long while since I had visited. I felt like Bella's professor of architecture, spirituality, and history all rolled into one. She was enthralled with the vision of the rosettes. I explained to her that these were some of the greatest masterpieces of Christianity. We studied the images of the Twelve Apostles, the Saints and Martyrs, the angels, the scenes from the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, scenes from the life of Saint Matthew, the Descent into Hell, and the Resurrection of Christ contained in the stained glass.

"Have you read the bible, Edward?"

I was a bit embarrassed by this question. I wondered what her reaction would be when I told her that I had, on multiple occasions. I was sure the subject of my soul would come up again, but I answered her honestly. "Yes, Bella. I have read it several times, as well as many history books and documents about the history of Christianity and the history of the European Cathedrals."

She didn't say anything, to my surprise. She just nodded and looked around as though she were trying to absorb as much as she could. I led her to the Cloister, and there, we examined the stained glass windows there. I read the Latin inscriptions to Bella in Latin, and then translated them to English for her. It was the Legend of Saint Genevieve, the patron saint of Paris. Unfortunately, we were only able to access the last six of the eighteen scenes that were portrayed there. Bella hung on to my every word, especially when I read the Latin to her. Her eyes shone as she stared at me in awe.

When I was satisfied that we had seen all we could on the inside, I took her out to the backside of the cathedral to see the Flying Buttresses. I explained to her how these helped to hold up the weight of the heavy roof of the cathedral. I pointed to my favorite figures and said, "Do you know what those are, love?"

"Gargoyles?" she responded.

"Yes, love, but the other ones, see them? Up there?" I pointed again. She squinted and nodded as recognition set in.

"Yes, what are they?"

"Chimera. Half-man and half-beast. They're use on the cathedral is for simple decoration, it is thought, but supposedly, they are to remind us that all creatures are the work of God, so they deserve His love and salvation." Bella turned to look at me after I said this. I gazed into her eyes. She had just the hint of a smile on her lips.

"You see, Edward? You haven't been forgotten."

I didn't know what to say to her. I didn't want to get into the old argument about my soul with her again. I glanced back at the Chimera, and thought about the words I had just said to her. I looked back at her, and managed a slight nod before I took her hand and slowly walked back to the front of the cathedral.

We stood looking at it, and for the first time in a very long time, I said a silent prayer. "Heavenly Father, I hope that Bella is right. I hope that I do still deserve your love and salvation. Amen." Bella squeezed my hand.

"What are you thinking about, Edward?"

"Just how wonderful it is to be here with you, love. Are you ready to move on?"

"No, but I don't want to see just this," she said sadly. I knew, in that instant, that someday I would have to bring Bella back. I could hear the rumbles in Bella's abdomen, and knew she was hungry, so I reluctantly started back towards the car to take her to eat. The scent of her blood told me that her blood sugar level was slightly low, so I knew that eating was the only option for her right now. I did not remember what human hunger felt like, but decided that since my thirst could get very painful, human hunger must get that way as well.

While I drove, I thought about how unfortunate it was that humans had to eat so often. There would have been much more time for sight-seeing if I did not have to stop to feed Bella, nonetheless I loved watching her eat so I was not about to complain. Bella did though. She whined, "I'm tired of having to take breaks all the time so I can feed my feeble human body, Edward. Let's just wait until supper time."

"Bella, you need to eat. I can hear your stomach growling from a mile away."

We stopped at a small café and I ordered Tartines for her. I hoped she would enjoy the toasted country bread. I was not sure whether she would like it with cheese, vegetables, or prosciutto, so I ordered some of each. She looked delighted when it came and I began breaking the bread into small pieces and putting them in her mouth.

"Edward, I can feed myself, you know."

"You know how much I love to watch you eat, and especially to feed you. Just go along with me, please?" She shook her head at me, but went along with me to placate my silly fantasies, or at least that was what she looked like she was doing. I plopped a grape in her mouth and she grabbed hold of my fingers with her lips and sucked on them lightly. I suppressed the moan that almost escaped my lips, then concentrated on suppressing the desire to crush the table between us and ravish her. She smiled mischievously as though she knew exactly what I was thinking.

She finished her glass of Chateau Coutet and leaned across the table to kiss me. The scent of the wine was mixed with Bella's scent and it was delectable. I could smell the honey scent of the wine and it accented Bella's lilac and freesia scent. I licked my lips when she pulled away and she gave me that mischievous grin again.

I made a decision to get us out of the café before we made complete spectacles of ourselves. I assisted Bella into the car, and drove us straight to the Palace of Versailles. Once again, she was like a child. She even clapped her hands a couple of times in delight. I was in awe watching her explore the Palace and the gardens. This was more enjoyable than I ever would have dreamed. Bella's eyes were wide with delight as she took in everything. I, again, regaled her with the history of the Palace and the grounds, pointing out everything I could. The gardens were magnificent and Bella slowed down, it seemed, to take in every single petal of every flower. I could tell she was particularly enjoying the gardens and a thought occurred to me that I shared with her. "If you'd let me," I said with Bella in my arms, "I would build you a palace just like this with the gardens and all, and I would lock you away from the world so I could have you just to myself for eternity." I kissed her cheek after I said it, and her knees felt weak. I held her up and she laid her head back against my shoulder, closed her eyes, and shivered. "Are you cold, love?" I whispered.

"No, Edward. I'm dazzled. You speaking of our love in terms of eternity does that to me."

I smiled. My Bella was so happy. She didn't seem to have a care in the world, which pleased me. I gazed at my beautiful wife with awe. I am the luckiest man alive.

Once we had completed our tour of Versailles, I decided she had enough walking for a while and took her for a drive. She seemed amazed by my knowledge of all the intricate workings and history of the different places in Paris. Sometimes I think she forgot that I had 24 hours a day for 90 years to learn all of this, and my mind did not forget knowledge as easily as a human mind does. I had read about Paris extensively between my infrequent visits there.

We drove down the Champs Elysées past the Arc de Triomphe. Next we passed by the Place de la Concorde where the Obelisk of Luxor was situated. I pointed and told Bella, "That is where the guillotine executions of Louis XVI and Marie-Antoinette occurred in 1793, Bella."

"Oh my!" she exclaimed.

I took her past the historic Opéra National de Paris next. "This is the Opéra National de Paris, Bella. It is 118,404 square feet in size. When architect Charles Farnier started construction in 1862, an underground lake and spring were discovered that stopped the construction for a time. Once the problem was overcome, they continued building, but the lake remains beneath the cellars of the building."

"There is a lake underneath it?"

I nodded, then added, "There is a chandelier inside that weighs over six tons. You have never seen Phantom of the Opera have you, Bella?"

"No," she said, shaking her head, but still staring at the large opera house. I knew she wanted to go inside, but was saddened that we did not have time. I drove on towards the Bastille while telling Bella about the storming of the Bastille in 1789 beginning the French Revolution that ultimately ended in the deaths of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. She seemed particularly interested in that part of French history. I knew that she had enjoyed our visit to Versailles greatly and was now pleased to be seeing other parts of the history I had told her about while there.

As evening drew near, the clouds began to dissipate. I was pleased that we would be able to visit the Eiffel Tower under a clear sky. I found a restaurant close to the tower where we could sit outside and enjoy the sounds of Paris while she ate. As Bella ate, I watched her every move. Every bite that she placed in her delicate mouth was torture to me. I wanted to kiss her lips with every nibble. She seemed to enjoy her meal, though I knew she was silently fuming about having to stop and eat again. She tried not to let it show, but I could see it in her eyes. I was thankful that Bella's eyes were so expressive. If I could not read her mind, at least I could read her face. It was a blessing that she was not completely closed off to me.

When Bella had eaten all she wanted, we walked to the Eiffel Tower. I purchased the required tickets to ride the elevators. I had always taken the stairs, but did not think that Bella would appreciate that. We went to the top and out onto the observation deck just as the sun was slipping below the horizon.

Once again, Bella was overwhelmed with the beauty. I stood behind her and held her while she looked out at the beautiful city. I could tell she was tiring quickly, but didn't want to stop. The City of Lights twinkled as darkness crept over the land.

As I gazed out onto the city, it occurred to me that I wished that Bella could see what I could see. I could see all of the details so clearly. I could see the people walking down the streets. I could see each light that twinkled for miles. I could see the chimera that adorned Notre Dame watching over the city. I was taken in by the beauty of it all, and decided I would share this one thought with Bella about what she would see when she was seeing through immortal eyes. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Bella, I want to bring you back here after your change, after you have gained control, and I want you to see Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower through my eyes."

Bella stopped breathing when I said this. I said nothing more to interrupt the moment. I held her there until her breath returned. When it did, she turned to me and placed her warm hand on my cheek. She said, "I would love nothing more, Edward. I love you." I smiled at her and thought about an eternity with Bella showing her new things and for the first time, my thoughts of Bella being immortal were happy ones.

I could see in her face that she was exhausted. I took her hand in mine, kissed it, and said, "We must go, Bella, you are exhausted, but we will be back someday, I promise. I love you."

She did not argue so we made our way to the elevators and back to the car. Before we got there, Bella was stumbling. My hand, that seemed to grow out of the small of her back, suddenly didn't seem enough. I quickly picked her up and carried her the last block to the car, not caring what anyone thought. A few people looked at us, but all of their thoughts were kind. Most of them thought that it was very romantic that I was carrying my wife down the street. I smiled at those who thought this. I was glad they thought so, because I thought so too.

I put Bella into the car and secured her there. She was asleep before I started the engine. I drove quickly back to the cottage and carried her inside. She never awakened and didn't talk in her sleep. I knew that she was extremely exhausted and I mentally berated myself for allowing her to get this tired. I put her in bed, and undressed her. My desire for Bella was raging, but I tucked it away, and put some pajamas on her. They were blue silk.

I was having a difficult time taking my eyes off her as I changed her and tucked her into bed. Through all of this, her only response was to sigh a couple of times. I stood by the side of the bed and watched her momentarily. I counted myself fortunate to have such a beautiful wonderful woman all to myself.

When I was sure Bella was not going to awaken, I lit the stove for warmth for her, and retired to the living room. Lust was raging through my mind and body and I knew that if I were to lay down with her, I would awaken her and I did not want to do that. Bella needed her sleep.

I stood staring out the window for a long time, thinking about the talk I needed to have with Bella tomorrow. I would not discuss her waking up from her change yet. I wanted another day to think about what I needed to tell her.

I decided that I should discuss Carlisle's and my plan for changing her. I would need to tell her that we would be moving to Alaska and that we planned to speak with the Quileute about the treaty before we left. I reminded myself to ask her what she wanted to tell her family and to abide by whatever her decision was. I knew, also, that I would need to discuss with her that I wanted our whole family to be there for her change. We had never specifically discussed this, but I felt that she would agree with me on this subject. It only felt right that we remain a family while we went through this transition from Bella's human life to her immortal one.

Thinking of all of this took away my good mood. I was becoming sullen quickly. I knew that I had to stop feeling this way before morning. I decided to call Carlisle again.

Emmett answered the phone. Great.

"Hey, bro! Aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon? What are you calling here for? Do you need some pointers? You wanna know how to clean vampire venom off the floor?"

That's it, I'm killing Alice and Emmett both when I get home.

"Thanks, Emmett, I think I've got it covered. Is Carlisle home?"

"Yeah, he's home, but I don't think that he's got the same perspective on this that I do, Eddie. Don't you want to ask me?"

I growled at him. "No, Emmett, I do not need any sex advice right now, but thanks for thinking of me. I will thank you to keep that crap to yourself when we get home. Bella would die of embarrassment. Can I please talk to Carlisle?"

"Touchy, touchy. Geez. Yeah, I'll get Carlisle. Really, I hope you are having a good time though, even though the Volturi are lurking around."

"Yeah, thanks, Emmett. We had a great day today."

"Good to hear, bro, talk to you later, here's Carlisle."

I was thankful to be rid of Emmett and his inappropriate comments. I didn't know how we were going to face him when we got home. Bella would be appalled. I made a mental note to kick Alice's ass for telling him rather than killing them. Death, after all, seemed a bit harsh for Emmett being…well…Emmett.

"Edward, is everything all right?"

Thank goodness, it's Carlisle. "Yes, Carlisle, everything is fine. I just wanted to talk to you some more about what we talked about earlier. I am going to talk to Bella tomorrow and wanted to run it by you."

Carlisle agreed and we again discussed all the scenarios regarding moving our family, Bella's family, and Bella's change. He mentioned that we could have Alice look into her visions to see what we would need to do to make Bella's decision regarding her family work for us. I agreed with him begrudgingly. I still wanted to reserve the right to veto Bella's decision, but he said no. This would have to be Bella's choice. I knew that he was right.

Carlisle had come up with an idea regarding our family's move and he ran it by me. "You kids are all supposed to be in College this year anyway, Edward. I don't think that anyone would be suspicious if Esme and I went on a sabbatical to reconnect with all of you kids out of the house."

"Yes, that makes a lot of sense. Then it won't seem like we are all just disappearing."

I knew this was the right thing to do. If we stayed in Forks and Charlie had any clue that we were there, he would want to see Bella. If he thought that Carlisle and Esme were still there, he might even try to visit them to compare notes on what they had heard while we were gone and be suspicious if he saw another member of the family there.

"I have a house picked out in Alaska, Edward. Will it bother you at all if I go ahead and purchase it now? I can take an extended leave of absence from the hospital so that if things work out with the Quileute, we can return to Forks if Bella so desires."

"That sounds fine, Carlisle. You don't need my permission to purchase a home for the family."

"I didn't want you to feel like I was pushing you."

"Thank you."

"I will also make contact with the tribe and try to set up a meeting shortly after you return. We will both need to talk to them."

"Yes, I think you are right about that."

Finally, I broached the subject that brought me the least comfort, Bella's change itself. I knew that our agreement had been that I would do it. I wanted to make sure that Carlisle and I were on the same page as to how. We discussed this at length.

"Edward, I have done a lot of thinking and studying about this. I feel that, perhaps, you should try to take a large amount of her blood before you complete your venom injections. I am theorizing that if only enough blood is left to keep her heart beating, it might not be as difficult or take as long. I will, of course, try the Morphine again, unless you object."

"I want to do anything and everything possible to keep Bella as comfortable as I can."

"On that note, I spoke with Jasper again today, and he agreed, per your request, to try to participate as much as he can. It will be difficult for him because if Bella feels the pain, despite our efforts, it will be as though he is experiencing it first hand. He said he would attempt to stay close and soothe her as much as he possibly could."

"I appreciate your speaking with him. I will owe him immeasurably if he can help Bella. God forbid our efforts are wasted trying to make her comfortable, Jasper just might be our only hope."

"Jasper is also concerned that you are going to need his gift as well, so his hope is that you will benefit from his efforts with Bella, and hopes as well, that if Bella does not need him, you will allow him to stay anyway and help you."

"I am not concerned about myself, though that is kind of Jasper to think of me. I would prefer he concentrate his efforts on Bella. Even with everything we are going to do to try to ease it, her mind will still be intact for the most part and she will probably be afraid. Jasper is going to need to keep her as calm as possible. If I get uncomfortable, I will try to allow Jasper's gift to assist my mood as well."

"I hope that you will allow all of us to assist you, Edward. We all know that this is going to be every bit as difficult for you as it is Bella. I know first-hand how difficult it will be for you to watch her. I want you to think about tucking away some of your pride and allowing the rest of the family to be your strength during this time."

Carlisle was truly the best family leader that we could ask for. The Volturi would say that he was our coven leader. I supposed in some ways that was true, but to us, it was a family, and he was the head of the household, and that was how it would always be.

"Thank you, Carlisle, for everything."

"You're welcome, son. I will speak with you again soon."

Upon hanging up the phone, I went to the bookshelves to find something interesting to read. I was thankful for Alice stocking this place well with things that would be interesting to our vampire minds.

I sat down to read and heard Bella moan my name softly in her sleep. This brought a smile to my face, and brought my lust to the surface again. I quickly quelled it and continued to read. I listened to her breathing in the back of my mind, waiting for her to awaken.

I tried not to think about her impending change and how difficult it would be for me. Those thoughts would not help me stay calm in the morning when I spoke with her about it.

I dove into the book about the history of the Louvre and the art that it contained. I wanted to brush up before I took Bella there. I read it twice before I heard the tempo of Bella's breathing and heart rate change from asleep to awake. I had the stereo on, but knew that it was low enough it had not awakened her. It was still fairly early in the morning, but the sun was beaming through the windows on the east side of the cottage.

I heard Bella go into the bathroom, so I hurried into the kitchen and put some coffee on for her. I went back to the sofa to await her arrival and opened the book again, memorizing exactly which pieces of art I wanted to make sure she saw.

Bella entered the living room, and without looking up, I said, "Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?" She yawned and plopped down on the couch next to me. When she sat down next to me, her scent was overwhelming. I inhaled deeply enjoying the burn that it created in my throat.

"You tell me if I slept well. The last thing I remember is leaving the Eiffel Tower and you had to pick me up and carry me to the car."

I smiled. Bella had rested well and that was very pleasing to me. I put down my book and wrapped my arms around her, gathering her close to me. I could never have her close enough anymore it seemed.

"Are you hungry, love?"

"I'm not really hungry, but do I smell coffee?"

Before the words left her lips, I was on my way to the kitchen. I answered, "Indeed you do, love. I'll get you some."

I heard her say, "I can get my own coffee, Edward." I did not speak aloud, but in my mind I thought, No, my love, I will be getting your coffee for you for as long as you will be drinking it.

When I re-entered the living room, I noticed that Bella had been looking out the window. "Are you disappointed?" I knew she had been looking at the sun and blue sky.

"With what?"

"The sun."

"Oh, no, not at all, we can stay in today. That's fine with me." She smiled demurely and I let my mind wander in the direction of staying in, but stopped short of carrying Bella back to bed immediately. I did not want Jane and Demetri tracking us to Alice's cottage. I didn't want the Volturi to know about it if possible.

"Well, that's too bad because we are going to the Louvre today. We will be indoors until it clouds up later so it won't matter." I grinned back at her widely, flashing my teeth.

She giggled and said, "Okay, Mr. Sparkly-Man. When are we leaving?" Oh Bella, I love you so much.

I steeled myself for what was coming next, but knew that I had to tell her about Jane and Demetri. Bella hated being kept in the dark, especially under the auspice of 'for her protection.'

"Whenever you are ready, love. However, we need to talk about a couple of things first. Is that alright?"

Practically before the words got out of my mouth, Bella said, "When are they coming?" She had been waiting for me to tell her. Sometimes I worry so much about protecting my lovely wife that I forget how perceptive and intuitive she is.

"Today." She is going to be angry with me for not telling her sooner.

"Oh." Oh? Why doesn't she look or sound upset?

"I don't want you to worry, Bella. Their orders are simple. They are here to find out what we are doing and why we left the chateau. They have instructions to find out what our plans are and nothing else. Everything will be just fine. Alice has them on speed-dial right now."

Bella laughed and said, "Do you know who is coming, Edward?" Lie to her, lie to her, lie to her, lie…

"Jane and Demetri." Damn it, Edward! Why didn't you just lie to her and say you didn't know? Because you can't. That's why.

"Oh." What does "oh" mean? Is she afraid? Is she angry? Why is she so wretchedly confusing sometimes?

"Bella, I told you not to worry."

"I'm not. I trust Alice, and I trust you." Oh.

"Good. That brings us to the next part of our discussion."

Bella looked at me curiously, but did not speak. She sipped on her coffee and watched me as I struggled to find the words I needed to say to her. Finally, I just started blurting it out.

"We need to discuss…your change." Bella knew I did not like discussing her change with her because I was still not completely convinced that it was the only way, but I was resigned to it. Outside forces made it impossible for me to say no and I would not deny her request for it to be my venom that changed her, as much as I did not want it to be. I had been through enough humans changing into vampires to last me for eternity already. The only consolation I had with Bella, which was a consolation, but also a curse, was that I couldn't read her thoughts. I didn't know if sometime during her change I would be able to read her thoughts, but at least if she wasn't talking, I wouldn't be able to hear the suffering in her mind, at least not at first. No one knew what waited when she reached the other side. How can she be so casual about sipping on her coffee right now? Maybe I should take it, she's going to spill it on herself and get a burn. She nodded, but did not speak.

"I've been talking to Carlisle about this the last couple of days. He wanted me to discuss a few things with you. Since, more than likely, we will go home tomorrow, I wanted to talk to you a bit now. I don't want to upset you, but I need you to think about some things for me."

"I'm all ears, Edward. My interest is piqued, please go on."

"Well, there are some things that I…do not want…to discuss with you today, but there are some other things that we need to discuss now."

"Edward, please stop stalling. Get to the point. I'm not upset. I can take it."

"I'm sorry, Bella, this is a difficult thing for me to discuss with you."

She nodded, but did not speak.

"Carlisle is buying a house in Alaska today. When we get back to Forks, we will all make preparations to move."

She continued to nod at me, sipping her coffee. I wished she would stop me. I wanted her to beg me to find another way. In the last few days, I had begun to accept that Bella's change was inevitable, and even look forward to parts of it. I still had enormous objections to it, and I still hoped for her to change her mind.

"I need to know what you intend to tell your family, Bella, or rather, what you intend for us to tell your family. Carlisle and I have discussed a couple of different options, but ultimately the decision is yours." I anxiously anticipated her decision. I thought maybe she would have to think about it, but she didn't. She answered almost too quickly.

"I don't want them to think me dead, Edward. Not yet at least. Away at college is good enough for me right now. I can stay in contact with them via email. I just don't want to face the possibility that I will never see them again right now."

"What if one of them decides to visit?"

"I'll be sick." She obviously has thought about this.

"I guess that will work for a while. We'll go with that for now then."

"It is really the best solution for me, Edward."

"I understand, love. We will just have to make it work."

"Thank you." "Is that all you wanted to discuss with me?"

"No." Her expression never changed. "I, um, do you…have any specific…questions, Bella?"

"Not really, Edward. Just tell me whatever you think I need to know."

"You know that it will take about three days."

"Yes."

"Would you object to having the whole family with us? To help us both?"

"Why would I object to that, Edward? You are going to need them there. You will be suffering. I would not have it any other way. You will need the support of your family to help you through."

I will be suffering? What about HER? Why does she always put my needs above her own?

"You do still plan to be the one who…"

I interrupted her. I couldn't stand to hear her say it. I was becoming very uncomfortable and extremely saddened by our conversation. "Yes, Bella. I will be the one who does it. That is your request, and I will honor it. I just hope that…"

It was her turn to interrupt me. "You won't. You stopped last time, Edward. I know you can do it again. I trust you." I wish she didn't trust me quite so much.

"It's going to be difficult, Bella. Carlisle theorizes that if the least amount of blood that you need to survive is all that is left, the change might not take as long or be as…painful. I could kill you accidentally. I would never forgive myself." I tore my eyes away from her gaze, unable to look at her as I said this. She scooted in close to me, and took both of my hands in hers. She is comforting me. I should be comforting her, and she is comforting me. I was angry with myself for being weak. I was not strong enough to comfort my wife, she had to comfort me. I wanted to tear myself away from her and run away forever. She did not deserve to be treated this way. She deserved better. I knew that my love for her outweighed my desire to leave her again 'for her benefit' but it didn't stop me from feeling weak and useless. I felt a coward, and wished she would point it out to me.

"Then stop before you think you need to, Edward. I am not going to blame you for my change taking three days, or for being painful." Of course you won't, because you are so selfless. "I am aware of the dangers, and I am willing to take the risk for a chance at being with you forever. I want this, Edward." I know you do. Why is it so difficult for me then? "I don't want you to have to treat me like a porcelain doll that is going to break for the rest of my life, and I refuse to get older while you stay the same. Call me vain, I just don't want that. It would be misery for me." I do not want you to suffer misery, love. "I also refuse to wait until I am older to be changed. I can imagine what people would say. Everywhere we went, people would look at you and your beauty, and think how nice it was that your tottering old grandmother was always with you. No thank you."

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. I could not help but to laugh. It was funny. I hugged her in silent thanks for her rationalization. I didn't know why her saying this made it easier for me, but somehow it did.

"I'm sorry, love. I know this is what you want. I should have discussed all of this with you sooner." I'm ashamed of myself.

"I know it is hard for you, Edward, but it is going to happen, and it will be easier for me if I know that you have accepted it and are not still against it when you do it."

"I know, love."

"Will Alice be able to tell you what is happening and how long it will take?"

I shook my head at her sadly. I knew that Alice would not be able to see any of this. It was all too hazy. There would be too many unknowns. Alice would not be able to see her waking up until it got close to time for her to wake up. "No, love. She won't. Remember that her visions are subjective. You won't make a decision about how long it is going to take, and neither will I. Alice will be helpless until it is almost finished."

"Oh. Well, I guess you will all know what to expect anyway."

"Unfortunately."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Things will just be different for you for awhile, Bella."

"Will I still be Bella?"

"Yes." I was afraid to give her the other possibility, which was that she would not be Bella anymore. She could look like Bella, but Bella might no longer be with her. I wasn't going to think about that, and I wasn't going to tell her about it. In Edward's book of rules for Bella's transformation, that possibility was not going to be included.

"Then not to worry. It will be fine. I will be fine. Please stop worrying about this. I don't want you to dwell on this all day." There is that wretched word again. "Fine."

"Okay, love. If I am not allowed to worry about that, can I please interest you in eating some breakfast before we leave for town? I know how you hate having to stop to eat all the time, and the Louvre is a large place. There will be lots to explore." She sighed.

"Alright, Edward. I will eat before we go."

"Good, give me your coffee cup."

I refilled her coffee and plundered the kitchen to find a breakfast fit to last her until suppertime. I wondered how she expected me not to worry about her, but decided that I would try to abide by her wishes. I had the distinct impression that the days of my winning an argument with Bella were over. She was exuding newfound boldness and confidence over the last couple of days that intrigued me. I was curious if it was just my perception of her that had changed, or if Bella really had become different. Whatever it was, I was beginning to like it.

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