"Who wrote the rain

Who wrote the sun in

Who called your name

Where are you running

I'm gonna be there near or far

I'm gonna meet you where you are

Who wrote your name

Who wrote the sun in"
"You Will Find Me"

~Andrew Ripp~

"If you don't leave in ten minutes, you're both going to be late."

I took off up the stairs, my mom's words fading as I reached the landing and turned the corner.

I knocked on the door.

"Come on! We're going to be late! You need to drive me, mom's got a meeting."

I waited. Nothing. I knocked again.

"Jasper! Get up!"

Nothing.
"If you don't open the door, I'm coming in."

Still nothing.

"Fine! Here I come!"
I twisted the handled and flung the door open.

"Get up already!" I walked to the bed and my breath caught in my chest.

"I remember, the last thing I wanted to do, the last person I wanted to be, was the one who had to tell you he was gone. But it had to be me. I couldn't let Esme or Carlisle tell you. I couldn't let you find out from some gossiping asshole in school." We were sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch. Her head was bent, I couldn't see her face, her hair was hanging between us like a silky brown cloak.

"He loved you. He loved you the best way he could. The only way he knew how. He never wanted to hurt anyone. He was just sick, Bella." Her shoulders jerked softly. "I can't tell you how many times I wished he hadn't done it. That he hadn't left us. Left you. And then, we left. It was too hard for Esme to be in that house."

I shifted, turning to face Bella, I placed two fingers under her chin and tilted her tear stained face toward my own. I swallowed back the lump in my throat.

"It killed me. To leave you behind. When you needed a friend. I don't think you would have wanted to be my friend at that time anyway. But it still hurt to walk away." My fingers moved over the smooth porcelain skin of her cheek.

"I was angry as hell. I became a bitter, pissed off asshole. I was frustrated and irritated all the time. My patience was thin to none and I loved to fight. I would pick fights just to relieve some of the anger I had pent up inside." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth. Her eyes sparkled from the tears.

"I was a damn mess, Bella. It's almost embarrassing to admit just how fucked up I was. I still am. A little bit. I got into the habit of beating the crap out of anyone that crossed me the wrong way... it's taken me a while to get things under control."

~xOx~

What I wanted most was to wrap my arms around his neck and hold him. Or maybe I needed to be held. By someone who knew me. Knew what it felt like to go through hell and emerge on the other side dazed and a little on edge.

I blew out a quiet breath to steady my emotions. My head was tumbling to and fro from his admissions and blatant honesty.
His fingers ghosted softly over my cheek, his strikingly green eyes searching my face.

"You're not so bad." My voice wasn't working quite right yet and the words creaked as they left my mouth.

He grinned a very lazy almost sad smile. I could smell his spicy male scent. Whatever soap he used or cologne, maybe it was his deodorant, either way, it was intoxicating and I was quickly drowning.

His head dropped forward as he looked back up, his fingers wrapped gently around the back of my neck, pulling me closer. His mouth so close to mine, his warm breath tingled my lips.

What in the hell am I doing?

He's so fucking hot.

My heart was racing and every time I tried to take a breath, I could taste his, making my neglected lady bits weep with joy.

Edward was staring intently into my eyes, his gaze slowly tracing over my face to my mouth.

"Bella..you gotta stop me. Cause I'm not going to stop myself. I don't have enough control."

A shiver raced through my veins igniting a fire I had never felt before. I couldn't say no. I couldn't stop him. I could hardly breath on my own at this point and was quite surprised I hadn't passed out from lack of oxygen.

He leaned in closer, one hand at the back of my neck, the other tracing the line of my jaw. I felt his breath one last time before his lips brushed mine.

Oh shit. I'm going to swoon to death.

I heard a whimpering noise, which apparently came from me, because as soon as it happened, Edward parted my lips with his sweet tongue and groaned into my mouth.

Something in me snapped in that moment and before I knew what I was doing, I had pushed up onto my knees, burrowing my fingers into the back of his silky thick hair.

My skin burned under his fingers. I could taste wine on his tongue and I pressed myself against him unabashedly. My hands moved with a mind of their own, over his bare shoulders.

I want him naked now.

In that instant I was reminded of the promise I had made to myself.
I pulled away slowly, pressing my hand against his absolutely fantastic bare chest. Edward rested his forehead against mine, his eyes were closed, his breathes were quiet and heavy.

"I'm sorry. I just.." I could only whisper as I ruined the most romantic moment of my life.

"You need time."

I nodded, our foreheads still touching. "It's fine, Bella. I understand." His hands held my face as he pressed his lips against mine. Soft and gentle.

He pulled back and looked down at me, a small smile playing on his talented lips.

"I should probably get my shirt and head out."

I crawled backwards off his lap, my body screaming at me for acting like a prude.

Ten minutes later we were standing at the door saying goodnight.

"Can I call you?"

Was he seriously asking if he could call me? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Hell yes you can call me. Any. Time.

"Um, yeh, anytime. I'm sorry for the drama and the spill and," I shoved my fingers through my hair. "everything. Maybe we can do it again? Without all that stuff."

"I would do it all over again, even with that stuff." He leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Sleep well, Bella." His smile melted my heart as he turned to walk away.

"Goodnight, Edward. Sweet dreams."

"In your dark moments

When your heart's weak

Bring yourself broken

You will find me"

"You Will Find Me"
~Andrew Ripp~