Disclaimer: Still not mine, despite an obsessional, copious amount of wishing, hoping and praying. Everything recognizable belongs to Jerry Bruckheimer and Touchstone Pictures - godsdammit !

Warning: contains slash and strong language.

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Chapter IX

Meanwhile, earlier ...

Gawain's pov:

Even though I'm fond of Dagonet and I care for him deeply, as I waited for him at the tavern I was struck by a sudden thought. Call it insight, a revelation or even an epiphany, if you will ... but whatever the hell it was, I realized something important. Something no matter how desperately I denied it or wanted it to be proved wrong, I couldn't. And that something ?

I wasn't in love with Dagonet ... and I never would be. Not while Galahad, the one who constantly haunted my thoughts and dreams, still drew breath. That pig-headed, bloody-minded, passionate, moody Whelp of mine. My other half. And my soul mate. And because of, or thanks to him, I knew deep down in my heart, that what I had with Dag was wrong. That the longer I continued to dally with him, the greater my betrayal of Galahad would be ... and that was something I could never live with in good conscience. Nor, if I'm honest, would I want to. No, this dalliance with Dagonet couldn't go on. It had to stop. As of now.

Once I came to that decision, the heaviness I'd carried in my heart for months seemed to lift. The weight upon my shoulders vanished. Everything seemed clearer to me ... made more sense. All I could think of was my all. My everything. My Whelp. Galahad. How much he meant to me. That I still needed, wanted and adored him. I loved the way the fire flashed in his dark eyes when he was engrossed by something. Or the way they often narrowed in anger or suspicion. I loved his spirit, courage and passion. His sweet nature and childlike innocence. His sense of honour and goodness. Gods ! I even loved the little bastard's temper, his unpredictability and those godsawful strops he threw when Bors and Tris baited him, something which my brethren struggled to comprehend. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I love my impossible, temperamental Whelp ... warts 'n' all ...

When all's said 'n' done, I miss him. Not having Galahad in my life, being without him, truly hurts. Far more than any physical wound I've suffered. It's like I've lost a part of me ... something vital. Something irreplaceable. I miss having him by my side. Hearing him bitch and snipe like a waspish, old crone. I miss seeing that smile of his which lights up his face and hearing him laugh in genuine mirth. I miss his company ... his presence and the way he always used to have my back as I had his and continue to do so. But most of all, I miss having him in my arms and in my bed. There's a huge void where he used to be. An emptiness which can never be filled by anyone, no matter how fond I am of them. And that's probably why I've never been able to take things further than heated, stolen kisses, needy caresses and lustful hand jobs with Dag, never mind the odd occasion where we've both pleasured each other with our mouths. It's why I've never felt the need or craved further intimacy with anyone other than my Galahad. And honestly ? I suspect Dag feels exactly the same way ... that he's unable to be completely intimate with any man save Tristan, simply 'cause Dag continues to love and is still in love with him. Just like a pair of mated wolves, neither will be truly happy without the other as the two of them are bound together ... for life.

Now aware of what I had to do, I felt a fleeting pang of regret. Of remorse. Knowing that I'd definitely end up hurting someone who'd become very dear to me. Someone who'd been there for me when I was at my lowest. Someone who'd comforted me, given me solace when I needed it the most. And now ... now I was going to abandon him for someone who'd forsaken me. I was going to stop meeting up with Dag on the sly. There would be no more trysts between us. And although I felt guilty for using Dagonet and what I was about to do to him would hurt him, the knowledge that his suffering would be far less than the agony Galahad would feel if he ever discovered just how close I'd become to our Healer made it an easier decision to make.

And with that in mind, I slowly rose to my feet and left the tavern. Leaving an untouched ewer of ale and two unused tankards upon the table I shared with Dag for the last time ...

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Once I'd left the tavern, I felt an intense need to be alone. For me to crave solitude was a rarity in itself as I was known amongst the brethren to enjoy the company of others ... and that I hated to be alone. But now, for the first time in my life, I wanted to be by myself ... I needed time to clear my head and to think. And to do that, I needed to be where I always took shelter when I wanted peace and quiet or to unwind. My bolt hole ... The baths.

When I finally reached my destination and trudged through the doors, I was relieved to find the place empty ... and blissfully silent for once.

Grabbing a clean, white bath sheet from the attendant, I saw that he was clearly bemused by my unexpected arrival. It was then I realized the lateness of the hour, which explained why no one else was there and gave an inward groan before hurriedly muttering an apology to the man, as well as informing him that I wished to be left alone to bathe before retiring for the night. He merely shrugged his shoulders, then silently turned on his heel and left me to my own devices.

With a sigh of relief, I toed off my heavy boots then quickly shrugged out of my over-shirt and tunic, before stripping off my leathers which were starting to feel too snug. Another audible sigh escaped my lips as soon as I was free from the restricting confines of my leathers. I wrapped the sheet around my waist before rolling my aching shoulders, then slowly ambled towards the large, sunken bath in the main chamber. Suddenly feeling inexplicably tired, I stifled a yawn and began to loosen the bath sheet, allowing it to fall on the marble floor, before slowly lowering myself into the pool. The moment the hot, soothing, herbal infused water contacted my skin, I moaned softly and simply revelled in the feel of it as I waded across to the bench situated at the deep end.

Once there, I briefly ducked my head under the water then threw it back, causing my wet, tangled mane to fall messily across my shoulders before sinking down on the bench and closing my tired eyes.

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All I can say is that I must have fallen asleep. I don't actually remember dropping off, but I must've done as I was suddenly roused by a familiar voice. One which hadn't spoken to me for a while.

"Thought I'd find you here ..."

Startled, my eyes flew open and immediately fell upon him. The one person who persistantly disrupted my life, intruded upon my thoughts and invaded my dreams. And the one person I loved more than life itself. Galahad.

I closed my eyes and groaned inwardly. My handsome kinsman was all I ever wanted, ever needed, but right now ? He was the last person I wanted to deal with. Not when I was tired and my head was all over the place.

"What the bloody buggering hell are you doing here, Gal ?"

He slowly approached the pool, his dark gaze firmly holding mine. He shifted uneasily and for him, was unusually quiet. We both eyed each other in silence until something inside of me suddenly snapped and I finally lost my patience.

"Well ?"

Galahad's long, slim fingers absently rubbed his bearded cheek ... a definite sign that he was agitated about something.

"Can we talk ?" he finally blurted out. "I think it's time we did- "

I inhaled sharply and growled angrily, "Gods ! You can be a right bloody arse, Galahad ... y'know that ? A fucking arse ! I've been trying to talk to you for bloody months, for mercy's sake and you were too pig-headed and childish to even give me the time of day. You never gave me a chance to explai- "

"Please, Gawain- "

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger and slowly shook my head. "Why ? Why the fuck should I, huh ? ... No, I can't do this ... I'm too tired and pissed off to deal with you right now."

"But- "

"Just bugger off 'n' leave me be ... Come back when you've grown up." I closed my eyes, hoping he'd take it as a sign of dismissal. But it appeared the gods weren't on my side.

There was a sudden splash, then I felt the water ebb and flow as Galahad, fully dressed in his leather tunic, kilt and boots, waded towards me. Sighing heavily, I opened my eyes once more, before narrowing them to glare at him.

"No !" For once, he didn't flare up in anger, but his reply was calm and the look on his boyishly handsome face determined. "I'm going nowhere ..."

I frowned then came to a swift decision. If he wasn't going to bugger off, then I would. "Then I'll go," I snarled. I was about to turn and climb out of the water, when Galahad snatched my wrist and held it firmly. I immediately tried to wrench it free, but as soon as I did, his grip tightened further.

"Don't you fucking dare, Gawain. Don't you dare. You're staying. There's something I have to say and you're going to listen. Aye ?"

The glower I bestowed upon him was both furious and defiant. "Let me go, puppy, before I do something we'll both regret ..."

He shook his head obstinately. "Like I said, there's something you need to hear ... to know ... and you're damn well going to listen 'cause I'm only going to say it once ... I'm sorry. Sorry I never gave you a chance to explain ... Sorry for acting so rashly and for being a stubborn ass ... And I'm sorry things got so fucked up between us. I miss you, Gawain ... Really miss you."

His words suddenly made my heart race wildly. I could hear blood rushing in my ears. Feigning indifference, I replied coldly, "So, you miss me ... Am I supposed to care ?"

A stricken expression flickered for an instant across Galahad's face as he watched me in wide-eyed disbelief. "Gawain !"

I shrugged then bit my lower lip to prevent myself from grinning. Although I loved my kinsman dearly, after the pain he'd caused me, I couldn't stop myself from tormenting him a little. Well, it was the least I could do for the little sod.

"Aye ?"

"I ... I said I missed you ... doesn't that count for anything ?"

My response was another non-committal shrug. And that was what started to fray his patience.

"Godsdamnit, Gawain ! I still love you, you pillock ... was that what you wanted to hear ? Well ... was it ?" he snapped. "If it is, then aye, I still do ... Still want you ... Still need you ... Want you to take me back, if you'll still have me ? So I can make it up to you ..."

"I don't know ..."

"Please, Gawain ... One chance. That's all I ask. Just one ..." He cautiously closed the gap between us and gently cupped my left cheek with the palm of his right hand. And before I could stop myself, my traitorous body betrayed me and leant into his touch. "Please, love ... I'll try my damnedest not to bollocks things up between us again. I daren't ..."

"You swear ?" I asked warily.

He nodded. "I swear I'll try not to ..."

Galahad's gaze drifted to my mouth then back again to meet mine. His dark eyes pleading. Smoky and soft with want and love. I felt his left hand come to rest on my right hip and he gently pulled me towards him. His head lowered towards mine and before I could protest or try to push him away - not that I wanted to, mind - he swiftly claimed my lips, brushing them sweetly ... tenderly ... playfully with his. Effortlessly coaxing a response from me. Knowing that after all this time apart, I'd be helpless to resist him. And he was right ... I could no more resist him than I could stop breathing. And I didn't want to. Not when I was finally making headway with him.

The kiss swiftly evolved into something more heated. More intense. And full of passion. After a while, I had to break free as the need for air became too great. And as I did so, I looked down and saw that his leather tunic and kilt were sodden. Smirking faintly, I shook my head at the sight.

"Gods ! Gal, y'do realize you look like a right tit ?"

Galahad responded with an eye roll followed by a boyish grin. "Don't care ..."

My eyes widened with shock. Considering how obsessed my Whelp was over the blasted kilt's appearance, his off-hand reply regarding it, threw me completely. Before I got a chance to question him further or check if something was ailing him, he spoke.

"So ... does this mean you're taking me back ?"

Struggling to keep a straight face, I gave him a thoughtful look as if to give the impression that I was giving the matter great consideration.

"Don't know ..." Seeing his face fall, I grinned impishly at him. "But if you take me to bed, I'll let you know in the morning ..."

A sudden pinch to my left buttock made me yelp. "You git !" Galahad murmured huskily, then gave my right hand a tug, leading me towards the steps out of the pool. "C'mon then, y'daft arse ... before you change your mind and get cold feet."

And with a daft grin on my face, I happily followed him.