May 8

I have not written in a while, as preparations have kept me most busy.

Ever since Prince Eintaro was declared the leader of our delegation to Tortall, Princess Narumoku had begun to show an increased interest in what I am doing. She began to invite me to join her in sunset shukusen dances, and morning glaive practices. Her ladies-in-waiting suddenly began popping by my quarters, offering to help embroider my traditional wedding gown –which the Imperial dressmaker has said will take nine months to make- or offering useful advice on what gifts I should be bringing to my new family.

Lady Fenerah has rejoined our party, I suspect upon the invitation of the Princess Royale. She came in to one of our afternoon teas, reverently following Princess Narumoku's footsteps, barely keeping herself from tripping over her kimono. Though she had found herself a new ally, Princess Narumoku still treated Lady Fenerah with cold indifference and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the Ambassador's wife.

A few days ago, after sitting through another one of Narumoku's tea ceremonies, Haname and I returned to our quarters to discover another lady moving in to them. Yuki casually walked over and pretended to kiss me on both cheeks, like a Tortallan. I almost jerked my head back, until I realized she was trying to talk to me. "Princess Narumoku has declared a new lady will be joining our group while in the Islands." She hissed "I spent the afternoon hiding as many of our personal things as I could the moment my father told me."

I could not acknowledge that she had said anything unusual, so I gently squeezed her hand and smiled before raising my head to meet our new companion. Though I knew from the moment I saw her shocking pink hair accessories and matching obi who it was.

The lady is Lady Hebi's daughter, Kazuma. Haname and I are both positive that she has been placed here by Lady Narumoku as a spy. When I give Yuki some of my things to sell and give to peasants, Kazuma will suddenly appear, a dreamy expression on her face as if she just happened to walking in the same direction as us. When Haname practices her silencing spells, Kazuma chooses the same courtyard to work on her extremely pink embroidery. When Lady Fenerah began to readmit us for lessons in Common and on Tortall, Kazuma comes – though from the bored look on her face, I don't think she pays attention.

Now, in the evening, we no longer write in our diaries. At first, Yuki no longer read to us from one of her many books on Tortall. But now we have found that as soon as someone mentions Tortall, Kazuma will begin to develop a cough or an expression of anxiety and deep unease. Any qualms that we initially felt at deliberately making Kazuma feel lonely was quickly squashed when Oshimi confirmed to us that Kazuma was reporting our actions to her mother.

May 9

Today we received a great shock.

Princess Narumoku arrived to the daily meetings of the delegation, sweeping in while we discussed whether to use Yamani or Tortallan silk for my wedding gown. A few footsteps behind her Lady Fenerah followed, looking a little uncomfortable.

If Prince Eintaro was surprised to see his sister, he gave no sign of it. He completely ignored his twin as she gestured for Kazuma to give away her spot at the table. Instead, the enthusiasm in his voice rose, as if nothing mattered more to him than whether the Tortallan silk could be woven fine enough for a formal wedding gown.

A snap of a shukusen interrupted the conversation and Prince Eintaro looked up, frowning with irritation. "Yes, sister?"

"Dear brother," Princess Narumoku said, though her tone declared she thought anything but, "I bring word from our father." She casually tossed over a roll of parchment.

Prince Eintaro's eyebrows snapped together. "This is in your writing, dear sister." He stated calmly, as if he was discussing the color of the wisteria trailing around the windows.

"It is still the Emperor's will," Princess Narumoku replied smoothly.

Prince Eintaro read the paper quickly. "Yes, very well sister," he said, as if bored "Is there anything else you require?"

"Not at all" Princess Narumoku smiled widely "though of course, as I am Kazuma's Imperial sponsor, I will of course attend all further meetings in order to ensure her needs are being met."

"Yes, yes, of course." Prince Eintaro glanced at me. "I am sure that the Princess will welcome another lady her age as a permanent lady-in-waiting in Tortall."

I bowed as gracefully as I could while sitting on the tatami mat.

I snuck a glance at Kazuma, but her face was hidden behind a very pink fan.

May 14

Kazuma never said a word about the meeting. Far from speaking of understanding Tortall with me, she seemed to pity me and my desires, and I suspect the shock she received was much greater than my own.

Ever since the announcement Kazuma sometimes groans in her sleep. On warm nights, she slips out of bed numerous times and wanders around my quarters. She never looks well.

A week ago, when I was still absorbing how to deal with a spy in my inner circle, I had a private meeting with the Emperor in his rooms.

I was surprised to find his quarters completely empty. My uncle, dressed in his plainest robes, his white hair and beard perfectly combed and braided, was sitting on one of his balconies overlooking the ocean. He was preparing green tea for the two of us, his swollen fingers shaking from rheumatism. I bowed and kept my hands and face on the floor until he placed a cup in front of me.

"Niece." He raised his cup to me, his swords clanking against each other.

"Imperial Highness." I returned, raising my cup and bowing.

We talked of simple matters for a while – my studies of Tortall. Uncle surprised me a great deal with his knowledge of Tortallan fighting styles. And then, finally –

"Dear niece," My uncle said calmly. "I hope you do not think me too forward, but it seems as if you might need a break from all of this planning. I have a small garden near your quarters – the Imperial gardener has not yet decided what to do with it – I hoped that you would perhaps consider caring for it yourself." He paused, and seemed to be fighting with his words. "As I remember it, you and your mother were both skilled gardeners."

I bowed and held it until he batted impatiently on the floor and changed the subject.

"Now, tell me, Cricket." His use of my childhood nickname, the one he had given me, made me grope vainly for the shukusen that I had given to the guards before I entered. "I hear my daughter has given you a new lady-in-waiting?"

I suddenly felt a feeling of great relief, feeling as if Uncle wanted to help me, not to determine if I was still a suitable Princess. I began to tell him about Kazuma, our lessons, my worries of being spied on. He interrupted me by lifting a finger.

"Cricket, there is one way in which human beings differ completely from animals. Man, as you know, has principles, social order, knowledge – but so too, do animals. Animals even have religion. It would seem in many ways that we do not differ in the slightest from other animals… but there is one way I have been thinking of. Secrets. Having secrets is a faculty absolutely unique to having a conscience, being human – or part human, in the case of some of our immortal friends. Can you see what I mean?"

I thought I did – "It is acceptable for me to have secrets, to keep things from my maid. To practice hiding aspects of myself now is to practice for my future role."

Uncle smiled faintly. "If your secrets only bear good fruit, it will be all I could ask. I have prayed to your mother's spirit to make you happy."

I confess, I did not know what to say to this. I kept my eyes fixed on the tatami mats. Uncle, perhaps sensing my discomfort, began to stand. Fighting the impulse to help him – even the Emperor's niece is forbidden from touching him – I bowed myself out of the room. I knew a dismissal when I saw one. As soon as I left his quarters and reclaimed my weapons, I rushed back to my room. I knew that I would want to try and write down word for word what he had said to me.

May 18

I have spent the last few days happy, blissfully tending to the garden gifted to me from Uncle. It has turned in to a haven for us, as only those with my express permission are allowed to enter the garden.

Kazuma had expressed a desire to help me tend to my plants, and although I had discouraged her, she insisted on carrying a few watering cans full of water from the well – "like what a Tortallan would do". The next day she said her back was so stiff she could barely breathe. She spent the day in bed. After that, she appeared to have given up the idea of any kind of labor.

Today, while Kazuma was watching me work, she suddenly remarked, "They say that people who like summer flowers die in the summer. I wonder if that is true?" I did not answer, but went on gently spraying the bonsai trees. It . She continued softly, "I am very fond of chrysanthemums, but you don't have a single one in your garden."

"We have plenty of tulips" Haname said sharply. She was referring to the new type of flower brought over by the Tortallan ambassador.

"I don't like them. I like almost all summer flowers, but tulips aren't very pretty."

"I like roses best." Yuki said delicately. She was on the side of the garden, reading a book and embroidering at the same time. "But they bloom in all four seasons in Tortall. I wonder if people who like roses best have to die four times over again."

Haname and I both laughed gently.

"Won't you rest a bit?" Kazuma asked me, a smile fixed in place. "I have something I would like to talk to you about."

"If it's about your dying, no thanks."

I thought I heard a rather unladylike snort, but when I looked around Haname was very focused on practicing her magic, and Yuki was completely absorbed in her book.