Not once in Seto Kaiba's entire life had he ever kicked a whimpering dog or puppy. He was of half a mind to sue the offending tabloid for slander, but then it would've looked like Seto had something to hide. People would mutter that the reason he'd overreacted was because he really did kick puppies for fun. It would've been a PR nightmare.
To be perfectly fair, Seto's entire life was a veritable minefield of endless PR nightmares lying in wait for him. Each day was a game of one hundred decisions between ninety-nine public missteps and one near-impossible compromise. There was rarely a right or wrong choice; there was only the choice he could live with. His public was never pleased.
A perfect PR disaster was waiting to happen at that very moment, even as Seto lowered the tabloid paper in his hand and made a rhetorical question of "who cares about this dog shit?", signifying to his assembled team that they would take no action against slander today. Across the room, fidgeting anxiously in a way only perceptible to Seto, was the family manservant/bodyguard, Isono. As the damage control team of the PR department excused themselves politely and left, Seto finally allowed Isono to come forward.
"I believe I need to preface what I'm going to say with a quick question," said Isono. "But first, may I take a seat, sir?"
"You have fifteen minutes, Mr. Isono. Standing or sitting, I don't really care."
"Thank you, sir," said Isono with genuine gratefulness as he pulled up a chair to the desk Seto sat behind like a corporate god on his celestial throne. Isono leaned across the wide, empty desk and motioned for Seto to lean in as well. Seto humored Isono, as the beads of sweat forming on Isono's brow told Seto that Isono was serious.
"What's the big damn problem?"
"Do you remember the extra training I underwent in your last year of high school? The extremely unorthodox training your brother requested I undergo, and which you never agreed was necessary? The…uh…the training with the shadow magic?"
At the mentioned of magic, Seto's neutral expression grew stern and critical. He glowered at Isono, daring him to continue. Isono faltered for a moment, but pressed on.
"Well, see, because of this training, part of my duties as your head security officer includes a sort of weekly check-up on your aura to see if there are any magical threats to you. Until recently, I had no idea if it even worked, but it's a part of my Monday morning routine at this point, really. I've always recited the spells and looked into at the drops of ink disperse in the bowl, but I always felt nothing. Or well, I felt like a fool to be completely honest, but—"
"What's your point?"
"My point is that there's a threat to you. To everyone, but especially you. Someone is going to use you to perform a great evil."
"How the hell can you know that?"
"In the ink I saw the hands reaching for you. From the shadows. From the place where the dark magic comes from."
Seto automatically glanced to either side, as though assuring himself there were no disembodied hands present in the room. Or worse, any eavesdroppers. It was clear. Only he and Isono were in the office, and thank heaven for that, because Seto would never live it down if anyone overheard this ridiculous conversation.
"How are things with you, Mr. Isono?" asked Seto in a very slow, deliberate voice. "Are you having any problems at home? Any stress or anxiety related to your private life? Normally I wouldn't ask about this sort of thing, but if it's in any way affecting your ability to handle your professional duties, there're many other ways to go about asking for a little time off…."
"Of course not, sir. I haven't taken a day off in over a decade."
"So what you're saying is you're long overdue."
"What I'm saying is that there's a very real, magic threat aimed at you, Mr. Kaiba."
Seto sighed. "That's where you're wrong; magic isn't real."
"I thought so, too, but what I saw—"
"Clearly you're suffering some sort of fatigue. A decade is a long time to go without a single day off. Even I take days off, although no-one believes me when I tell them. You need a rest. I see that I've been taking your dedication to your job for granted. I'd assumed that you were the way you were because you had no life, to be honest, but clearly this is a cry for help."
"Please, Mr. Kaiba, I'm scared for your safety. Please consider what I'm telling you seriously."
"This is ridiculous. I won't waste my serious consideration it. I'm going to give you a week off, because I'm pretty sure that's what you're really asking me for. You look ill. Don't come in tomorrow. Stay home and recuperate."
"I'm sick with worry, Mr. Kaiba. If anything happens to you or your brother…."
"Nothing will happen."
"I'm out of my depth, here, Mr. Kaiba. I have no idea how to protect you from what's coming. I don't remember anything except how to find out the threats, not how to confront them. It's been so long since my training in these matters."
"I'm going to have to call someone in to escort you out if you insist on arguing with me, Mr. Isono. It'll be an embarrassment for you, seeing how you're the one who normally drags people out of this room for me."
"But Mr. Kaiba…."
Seto reached for the phone in suggestion of a threat. Swiftly, Mr. Isono stood and began pulling his chair back to where it had been before. Seto nodded in approval as he sat back in his desk chair.
"See yourself out, Mr. Isono, and don't forget you're on paid leave tomorrow and the rest of the week. I look forward to seeing you refreshed and of sound mind once more on Monday morning. Goodbye."
Isono bowed stiffly and wished Seto a good day before taking his leave. Seto sighed in annoyance once the man had gone. He wondered if it might be time to replace Isono. It was a shame; the man had been with the family for decades. Still, it was no good having a security officer who'd lost his mind.