Jackson had only been to one funeral in his entire life. When his parents died, he'd been entrusted to his Aunt Edith for a short amount of time, and when it came time to bury them, she'd taken Jackson along for the funeral. He sat there in the front pew of the church watching as his aunt dabbed at her eyes and spoke to mourners. His parents were buried in shiny mahogany caskets, and his only really clear memory of the entire service was the thought that it was more of a pity that all of that mahogany was disappearing under the ground than it was that his encased parents were. He wasn't even sure that his aunt was as sad as she appeared to be, because once they left the sight of the mourners after the burial, her tears dried up and he didn't see them again until he took a butcher's knife and cut off three of his cousin's fingers.

At that funeral, he knew that he was the express reason why the entire event was taking place, but he felt such a disconnect from the whole situation that he was more apathetic than most. It was the only time that he could remember being in a church before Jonathan's christening nearly eight years earlier, and he found that it shaped his entire view of churchgoing and Christianity in general. He didn't feel much beyond sheer boredom at the horribly drawn-out Catholic service, and when he had to sit through the same thing for Adalia and Matthew's christening, he thought he was going to lose his mind; if it hadn't been for Jonathan's learning to speak at the same time and the constant running out to deal with him, he probably would have just fallen asleep.

That morning, however, he was again in the front pew, but now he felt more at fault than he did at his parents' funeral. He and Lisa had woken up early that morning, dressed in the dark and left without a word to anyone, including Joe, who had arrived the night before and remained awake all night reading a book and caring for his nightmaring grandchildren as their parents slept in the dreamless arms of zolpidem. A taxi was already waiting for them at the door, arranged the night before by the hospital, and they were taken directly to the entrance of the hospital closest to the morgue. As Jackson signed papers, constantly pushing his slipping glasses up on his nose, Lisa was led into the morgue by a nurse who opened the storage for Lisa to place Adalia's bunny atop her. He watched his wife through the steel-reinforced glass as she whispered sweet nothings to their daughter, untangling her curls and pushing them out of her babyish face. When the paperwork was finished, the mortician gestured to the nurse and Lisa pressed her fingertips to her lips before pressing them against Adalia's own.

He wasn't sure what they were going to do for the hours following, but he certainly wasn't expecting to be led by his wife to the hospital chapel. He followed her to the front of the sanctuary past nameless others who undoubtedly had loved ones in the hospital and to the front pew where he'd settled and numbed his mind against the religious. Lisa was there beside him, looking up at the cross on the wall, but he was focused on the velvet of the kneeler more than anything else before her hand slipped from his and he looked over to see her stand and walk to the front. As she knelt down, he sat up straighter and watched her with traces of confusion on his face. He knew from family discussions and stories that his wife had been raised Catholic, but her family was an Easter-and-Christmas type. They went through the motions by christening the kids, but he was almost certain that Lisa had never been to Confession and he knew for a fact that she didn't own a rosary. If anything, they strove to be the nondenominational family by being decidedly agnostic, so when he saw her genuflect and cross herself in front of the congregation, it took him by complete surprise. At first, there was embarrassment in his glance, but as he looked around, he could see the sympathy in the gazes of the people looking at his wife's back and it heartened him, even if he didn't understand the cosmic reasoning.

He didn't move for the half-hour during which she knelt there, her hands clasped over her chest as her lips moved soundlessly, but by the time she made her way back to his side, he had found a new appreciation for simply the calm that the place offered in comparison to the world outside of the doors in the back. Lisa slipped her arms around one of his own, and as she pressed the side of her face against his shoulder, he felt a weight lift off of his entire being.

Adalia was cremated on a Sunday afternoon. It was already dark when her parents returned to the hotel suite they were living in, both dressed in black with Lisa clutching a small pewter box and Jackson's hand gripping her elbow. Once they made it into the room, Lisa branched away from her husband and disappeared into their bedroom with the box. Jackson watched after her for a moment before putting his hands in his pockets and walking over to his father-in-law, who had his glasses taken off and set on the table in front of him. Jackson followed his lead, discarding his glasses on the coffee table as he sat down on the couch across from Joe, pinching the bridge of his nose. In the other bedroom, the boys were playing loudly, their laughing belying the fact that they were both still young children without a firm handle on the events of the days before. Hediyeh was on the floor looking absolutely drained, her head resting on the dog's stomach as she changed the channels on the muted television.

'How is she handling it?' asked Joe in a half-voice.

'Surprisingly well,' answered Jackson, dropping his hand to cover his mouth as he looked at his father-in-law. 'Regardless, neither of us knows quite how to deal with this.'

'Where do you plan to go from now?' he asked, raising his eyebrows, and Jackson knew exactly to what he was hinting and had a feeling that Lisa had spoken to her father already about their determinations.

'Joe, we're going to need to have you keep the kids for a while,' Jackson said with a little discomfort behind his words, and in his peripheral vision, he could see Hediyeh sit up and turn to look at them. 'I had wanted to stay on the defence, but it's obvious that an offensive is going to be required in this instance.'

Joe leaned forward. 'What about Lisa?'

Jackson shifted in his seat. 'She's coming with me.'

'Jackson-'

'It was her decision, not mine,' he said quickly, appearing vaguely flustered. 'I didn't want her to come with me, but I'm not going to try to stop her.'

'But the kids...' said Joe, his voice trailing off as his daughter walked out of the bedroom blowing her nose.

Lisa discarded the tissue with a sigh before walking towards the living area. She bent down to kiss Hediyeh on the forehead and the girl looked at her with tear-filled eyes as Lisa held the sides of her face, smiling sadly at her. After running her fingers through Hediyeh's long, wavy hair for a minute, Lisa stood and walked over to the couch upon which her father was sitting and curled up beside him.

'Hi Daddy,' she said, kissing him on the cheek. 'How were the kids?'

'The boys slept most of the time that you were gone,' he replied, squeezing his daughter tightly in both arms. 'Hediyeh and I watched the History Channel for almost the entire day.'

'Don't change the subject,' begged Hediyeh with a yawn, crawling over to sit on the floor next to the coffee table. 'What's this about staying with Pedar for awhile?'

Lisa looked at Jackson for a moment before focusing on Hediyeh, her eyebrows pinched together as she spoke with a soft, strained voice. 'Hedi, your father and I have some business to take care of.'

'You don't have to use metaphors with me,' replied Hediyeh in the same tone, resting her chin on the table as she looked blankly at the reflection on the wood. 'I know what you're doing.'

Lisa nuzzled against her father more. 'I promise that Pedar will take good care of you.'

'You said Baba would take good care of us too,' she said spitefully, raising her eyebrows as silent tears fell down her cheeks.

Lisa tensed and sat up straight, shaking her head slowly as tears formed in her eyes. Jackson watched Hediyeh, stunned, as the girl made circles with her left index finger on the wood, biting her lip before looking up to see that her mother had stood up and was looking down at her angrily.

'Go to your room,' Lisa said very carefully, but her voice was strained to the point that her throat hurt when she spoke. 'Right now.'

Hediyeh stared at her before she let her mouth hang open for a long moment. She furrowed her brow and grew stern despite the tears still running down her face as she spoke with vehemency. 'No.'

For a moment, it felt as though all of the air had been sucked from the room, and everything was in stasis. The boys had even quieted down in the next room. The images on the screen behind Hediyeh flickered silently as Lisa took a sharp breath and suddenly reached down to yank up Hediyeh by the arm and slap her harshly across the face. Jackson and Joe jumped at the action, both as utterly stunned as Hediyeh seemed to be. Lisa moved her hand to her side with a purposeful motion, gripping her hand into a fist as she still held Hediyeh's arm aloft. She bent forward, getting closer to Hediyeh's face before her features seemed to crush under the stress of the moment, tears pouring down her reddened face.

'Don't you ever talk about your father that way!' Lisa screamed roughly, and Hediyeh seemed to curl into herself. 'You have no idea what this is like! Both of us already blame ourselves for what happened, don't you realise that? Adalia asked me to stay with her, but instead I told her not to worry, that everything was going to be all right, and I left her. I think of that every moment, Hediyeh. Every moment!'

She reached up to wipe at her nose with the inside of her wrist before continuing.

'Your father and I try so hard to do what is best for you kids,' she said, her tone softer, and because of the seriousness behind her words, scarier. 'Do you honestly think we'd purposefully take you somewhere that we knew would be dangerous? Do you think your father planned for that to happen to Adalia? Do you?'

'No,' Hediyeh replied in a little puff, not being able to bring herself to make eye contact with her mother.

'Apologise to your father,' Lisa said, dropping Hediyeh's arm as she stepped back, her arms crossed almost protectively over her chest.

Hediyeh turned numbly and looked at Jackson, who wasn't accomplishing a very impressive poker face to cover his surprise at the situation. Instantly, Hediyeh's face crumpled and she began taking breathy sobs, stumbling over to Jackson with her arms extended. 'Baba, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I made you upset!'

Jackson wasn't sure what to do, so he just leaned forward and hugged her. 'It's all right, I... I accept your apology.'

'Now go to your room,' said Lisa, uncrossing her arms to point at the door where Jonathan and Matthew were standing, looking like they'd just seen an epic battle. 'We'll talk more about this in the morning.'

Late that night, Jackson woke up to the sound of his wife throwing up. He looked with blurry vision at the bright light before feeling around for his glasses and turning on the lamp, stumbling to the bathroom as he tried to mentally count back to their last sexual encounter, considering their track record for spur-of-the-moment flings wasn't exactly stellar-there would probably be nothing worse than Lisa going through another pregnancy at that point in time. As he looked over to the toilet, however, he saw her with her hand against her forehead and tipped his head, yawning.

'Migraine?'

She nodded slowly. 'I don't have any Imitrex.'

There was silence between the two as Jackson yawned again. 'I'll go to the pharmacy at the hospital and get some.'

'No,' she muttered. 'Don't leave me.'

He sighed, leaning against the counter as he pushed up his glasses and looked down at his wife. Shaking his head, he took a couple of steps forward and bent over to help her to her feet. Once she stood, she leaned heavily against him as he led her to the bed, where she sat down. He crotched down and she fell forward, pressing her feverish forehead to his cool one as he looked at her with icy eyes.

'You'll stay here,' he said simply and quietly, and she tensed her brow. 'Lie down; I'll be back in less than twenty minutes.'

'Jackson, please...' she murmured, but he was already walking over to the chair in the room where he'd thrown his suit pants earlier.

Lisa watched him as he took his wallet from the back pocket before taking a few large strides to the bathroom and turning off the light. In the darkness, she could hear him pull his shoes from the closet and rustle through the hanging clothes to find an ancient university hoodie of his. Silence fell over the room, but she jumped when his lips suddenly brushed by her ear.

'I mean it,' he whispered. 'Lie down. You've had a horrible week and need the rest. I'll be back soon.'

Before she could argue, he'd already left the room