Chapter 9, Memories

12-15-19XX, No more days left

I woke up to pain on the left side of my face, and something dripping down, something that I haven't seen for a long time, blood, my blood. There was a thumping sound coming from inside of my chest, what is that? That doesn't matter, I need to hurry to where Mana is! Because that was just a bad dream right? There's no way that he's dead, and had died a second time as a metal monster by . . . by . . . by my left arm, my cursed arm, the demon arm. The blood was still dripping down the left side of my face, it hurts, I think that I will just sit on my bed and what for the pain to go away, it feels like my head was trying to explode, and it feels worse than the migraines that I had from stress before Mana decided to adopt me. Mana, I wonder if he would still be alive if he didn't adopt me, because well . . . I am the cause of that right? I mean, have to be, if Mana didn't adopt me, then he wouldn't have pushed me out of the way from the Dog Cart, so then that means that it's my fault right? Right?

I tried to yell at my irritation, but I couldn't even utter a squeak. I pulled my legs even closer to my chest so that I could ignore the cold in the room better. Thoughts kept wracking Hell and havoc in my mind as I thought of how Mana's death could have been avoided. The door opened, and wouldn't dare to look at the person's face in fear that I might mistake them for Mana.

"Hey Allen, are you okay? OH MY GOD! IS THAT BLOOD?" The person ran to me, more with the weird language, can't they talk to me in the same language? Don't they know that I killed my Father after I resurrected him, and can't even talk? The person kept making moves to get me to show them the wound on the left side of my face. Once I saw a hand going up to turn my head so they can see the wound, I bit down on it, and bit down hard. The person let out an incoherent string of words that I couldn't even understand in the first place, not that I cared, I just wanted the blood to be out of my mouth.

"What's up with the racket? This is a hospital, patients are supposed to resting, not biting your hands you idiot, you're a disgrace to the Bookman clan!" It's Bookman, then the other must have been wanna-be, no, that sounds out right rude to call him that, then again, I don't remember him saying his name. Who knows, I am bad with names anyways, probably because I never had a name, until Mana came . . . Mana . . .

"Moyashi-chan started it first! All I did was see blood on his face and went to see where it was coming from, and then he just bit me! BIT me is say, BIT ME! NOT ONLY THAT BUT HE BIT UNTIL HE REACHED BONE!"

"Maybe he doesn't want you to care after him? Wait, why does he look like that?"

"I heard him yelling at the top of his lungs, and when I came in his face just started to randomly bleed and his hair turned white!" He must be stupid, even though I can't understand him, by the tone of his voice, it sounds like he was overreacting about the pain, or dealt with worse.

"Allen, can you tell me what you dreamed about?" There was more footsteps nearing the door that they came into not that long ago. Not knowing what he was saying, I just kept starting at nothing, I don't want to deal with this right not, I want Mana, and Mana only! Bookman sighed, as he found out that it would be impossible to get an answer out of me, barriers and all.

"What happened?" Female, more people, can't they just go away already and leave me to mope about Mana?!

"It seems that Moyashi-chan had dreamed about what happened, and it seems that he can't even hear us, and if he can, then he is not talking, or can't . . ." What are they talking about?

"What do you mean by that Lavi? Not that long ago Allen was able to talk to us, rudely, but he was still able to talk to us!" Still waiting for them to talk so that I can understand them . . . then again, all they do is just babble incoherent words. I felt one of them approach me, causing me to hug my knees even closer to my chest. Mana is still on my mind, and it would only pain me more to remember what I did to him.

"I originally came here to give Moyashi-chan some dinner, since he didn't get to eat any to eat." There was an added weight to my bed, I quickly glanced up, it looks like a trey of food, in all honesty, I am not hungry, nope, not one bit, not after what I did to Mana . . .

"Allen isn't touching his food, how come you aren't eating Allen? . . . Come on, you have eat, please!"

"Leena-lady, I don't think that Moyashi-chan is going to eat his dinner." I just want them to go already, I don't want to be bothered. A while later they were talking among themselves, I of course, kept silent, mostly because I seem to have a throat problem right now. About a couple of minutes later, they found out that I still didn't touch my food, and was almost force feed, if it hadn't been early in the morning. Sometime during the day my head started to nod off from sleep deprivation, all it took was that one slip to remind me of what I did to Mana, it just plays over, and over, and over! People all throughout the day came and visited me, withier or not it was the same person or not, I couldn't tell, the only thing that I saw were those hellish memories ever since I woke up from the memory-turned-nightmare filled sleep.

A.N~

Sorry about the short chapter, but I kinda only got what . . .around three hours of sleep? Yeah . . . I probably fell asleep around 3-4 a.m., and woke up at 7 a.m.. It also turns out that my family doesn't like the smell of packed squid, sure it smells bad but, it tastes good as long as you don't get a huge handful . . . or anything bigger than one strand, anything more than that to a person just eating that would probably blanch. They also don't like Soybean Milk either . . . 'Shame on you, shame on your Cow, are you taking notes?' yep, a total nerd (not really, I only watched Mulan no more than ten times, it's just that I have good memorization skills, and that my big sister kept one quoting it.). Anyways, the point is, I have to go back to school on Monday, and I am taking College classes, despite the fact I am nowhere near my graduation date, such as; Mathematics 10B/A, Mathematics 128A, Mathematics16A/B, Psychology 16A, Psych. 131, Psych. 1, Psych. 130, Japanese Language and Culture 7A, and East Asian Languages and Cultures 109. And I am not even close to College yet, oh the fun. Thank you Youtube and UCBerkeley!