I do not own the rights to the NCIS or NCIS:LA characters, only my own.
Nate took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. "I think that's more than enough for today. I don't know how much more we can take."
Amanda grabbed the box of tissue off the side table and offered him one before taking one and wiping her own eyes. "It was a pretty rough day."
Nate could only nod, overcome with emotion. After swallowing the huge lump in his throat, he spoke. "I don't know how you're survived after losing so many. It's no surprise that losing your father pushed you over the edge like that."
Amanda nodded as Chrissy and Lil wandered in. "Are you crying again, Mommy?"
Amanda pulled her up into her lap as Lil jumped up on the couch next to her. "Yes baby, I am. I was just telling Uncle Nate about the day Papa Pat went to heaven."
"I wish I remembered more of Papa." Chrissy sighed.
Amanda rested her chin on Chrissy's head. "I wish you did too."
Nate smiled at Amanda and Chrissy. "Are you going to be alright if we stop for today and pick back up next week?"
Amanda nodded and looked at the Anniversary clock on the mantel, "G should be home in a couple hours. I think Chrissy and I will lay down for a little bit."
Nate nodded and stood, waiting for Amanda to stand before he walked to the door and said goodbye. Amanda closed and locked the door before she picked up Chrissy and carried her to the bedroom and set her on the bed. Lil hopped up on the bed and settled on Callen's side since he wasn't there to move her. Chrissy snuggled in with Amanda and fell asleep. Callen had talked to Nate before heading home and figured she'd be sleeping when he got home. When the door was locked, he smiled and pulled out his keys.
The house was quiet, except for the TV playing softly in the bedroom. He set his bag by the door and walked up the hall, peeking inside the room. Lil lifted her head and huffed. Callen walked to her and patted her head before he walked to Amanda's side and kissed her. She inhaled deeply before she opened her eyes and gave him a sad smile. He could tell by the sadness in her eyes that today's session with Nate had been hard, something akin to pouring salt in old wounds.
"You doing okay?" He asked.
Amanda frowned. "We talked about Dad today."
"I know, Nate told me." He said brushing her hair back.
"I'll start dinner." She said and struggled to get up.
"No, we'll order in. I'll put whatever you pulled out in the refrigerator and we can cook it tomorrow."
"Chinese?" She asked.
Callen smiled. "If that's what you want."
"I've had a taste for Chinese all day, but Chrissy didn't want it for lunch and Nate was due over at noon."
"Chinese it is." He told her and leaned down to kiss her when Chrissy started giggling. "Hey bug."
"Hi Daddy." She smiled, her blue eyes dancing. "Come to bed."
Callen smiled at her and slid off his shoes before he walked around to his side of the bed and got in. Chrissy grabbed him around the neck and kissed his cheek. He pulled Chrissy to the other side and sat between Amanda and Chrissy, an arm around each of them. They sat for an hour or better just talking about their days before they got up and took a look at the menu for their favorite Chinese restaurant.
"Can we go there to eat?" Chrissy asked sitting between her parents on the couch.
"I don't know if Mommy's up to going out to dinner, Bug." He told her.
"Actually, I could use some fresh air and change of scenery for a couple hours." Amanda admitted with a half-smile.
Callen looked at her with great concern. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I need to get my mind off today's session."
"Bug, you're going to sleep in your own bed again, aren't you?" He asked eyeing Amanda.
"Do I have to?" Chrissy whined.
"It would be nice. Mommy and Daddy haven't been able to spend any time alone together since we got back from Virginia. I think Mommy and I could use some time together."
"As long as Lil sleeps with me." She told them matter-of-factly.
Callen laughed. "Deal, I think she'd rather share a bed with you than you, me and Mommy."
Chrissy bounded off the couch and put on her flip flops while Callen made sure Amanda was alright with going out. Once they were in the car and headed to the restaurant, his phone rang. Worry set in when he saw Hetty's name flash across the caller ID. He answered and was relieved to find she was not calling him for a case, but wanted to see how Amanda was doing. With a nod from Amanda, he invited Hetty to join them for dinner. When they pulled into the parking lot, Hetty was leaning against her Jaguar with an easy, relaxed smile. Chrissy squealed with joy at seeing Nana Hetty again. Before Callen or Amanda could get out of the car, Chrissy had taken off her seatbelt and opened her door on her way to greet Hetty.
"Young lady, while I'm very happy to see you too, you need to wait until your mother and father tell you it's alright to get out of the car." Hetty scolded gently.
"I'm sorry." She said with a pout. "I was just excited to see you."
"It's alright Chrissy; you just need to ask before you bail out of the car." Callen told her when he came around to the passenger side of the Pathfinder.
After giving Chrissy a nice long hug, Hetty turned her attention to Amanda. "You look radiant; I forgot how you glowed with pregnancy."
Amanda smiled. "Hello Hetty, how have you been?"
Hetty wrapped an arm around Amanda's waist. "Very worried about all of you, but I'm very happy to see you back where you belong."
"I want to apologize for." Amanda began, but Hetty put her hand up and shook her head.
"Bygones my dear, bygones. I think everyone understands why you did what you did. As long as you're on your way to recovery and still under the employ of NCIS, that's all that matters to me."
"Still, I acted childishly." Amanda insisted.
"Blame it on the pregnancy hormones." Hetty laughed. "I understand you're almost five months now?"
"Yes, just about." Callen told her with his hand affectionately rubbing Amanda's bump.
The conversation continued once they were seated at a table in the restaurant. Hetty took the liberty of ordering their meal in the waitresses native tongue, Chrissy beamed, loving when anyone spoke a foreign language. She'd picked up a little here and there from Callen when he'd give her pet names or wanted to annoy Amanda. Many a dinners were spent with Amanda, Heather and Madison giving them the silent treatment when the two would carry on a conversation in Romani or Russian. In reality, they were making fun of the other three and their exasperated expressions, rolling of their eyes and huffs.
When the meal arrived, Chrissy tried in vain to eat with chopsticks like the adults, but failed miserably until Hetty rolled a napkin, slipping it between the two sticks and tied a rubber band around it all. Within minutes, Chrissy was eating like a pro and loving the attention the restaurant staff showed her. When they'd eaten their fill, the leftovers were packed up. Hetty slipped the waitress her credit card when she brought the bags of food back to the table. Callen and Amanda both glared at her when the waitress returned to have her sign the slip. Hetty smiled widely back at them.
They stood out by their vehicles for close to an hour before they parted ways. Hetty waved as she pulled out of the parking spot and out of the lot. Chrissy talked non-stop on the drive home, Callen and Amanda laughed at some of the things that came out of her four-year-old mouth. By the time they got home, Chrissy had talked herself into exhaustion and begged to change in to her pajamas and go to bed.
With Lil on the foot of her twin sized bed, Callen and Amanda kissed her goodnight and read her a story before they turned down the light and pulled the door. Amanda sighed and leaned against the wall just outside of Chrissy's room. Callen wrapped her in his arms and held her for a few minutes before they walked to the bedroom. Amanda changed into her pajamas and got into bed.
"So do you think you guys will pick-up where you left off next week?" Callen asked watching Amanda pull her night gown over her head and stretch it over her belly.
Amanda shrugged and sighed. "Probably, that's going to be harder than talking about the day he died. All I wanted to do the day of his funeral was fall in the hole and be buried with him."
"I'm glad you didn't." Callen told her.
Amanda gave a small smile at his comment and sat on the bed. "It would've saved us from all the heartache and misery that I caused by leaving. There would've been no fighting or screaming at one another."
Callen's mind floated back to their numerous arguments. "True, but we were just venting out frustrations, I just wish they hadn't been at one another. Pat's death had a huge impact on me too and I think you were too wrapped up in your own feelings to realize that."
"I know and I'm sorry." She said as tears filled her eyes. This was the first time they'd talked about her father's death since it happened the previous year. Until now, they subject was avoided at all costs.
"Pat was the closest thing I've ever come to a father. More than that, he was a good friend."
Amanda turned around and faced the wall, her back to him as she began crying. "I sorry."
Immediately, Callen was on his knees behind her, his arms wrapped around her tightly. "I'm thankful for the time I had with him."
Amanda smiled and looked up at him. "I know you are. I'm tired, can we change the subject or got to sleep now?"
Callen loosened his grip and nodded. "Of course, I'm sorry I upset you."
"You didn't, I think it's all because of today's session with Nate. It brought all of the emotions back. Something I'm going to have to deal with this time instead of running away from them."
"Just promise me you'll talk to me this time." Callen said as he leaned back against the headboard with Amanda in his arms.
"I will, if we're going to get back to where we were before all of this."
Amanda woke the next morning just before Callen's alarm clock and slowly got out of bed to make a pot of coffee. By the time she heard the shrill buzz; she had two cups of coffee in hand and was headed back up the hallway. Callen had a panicked look on his face when he realized she wasn't in bed.
"How long have you been up?" He asked sitting up and accepting the cup she held out to him.
"About ten minutes." She told him and took her spot in bed.
Callen gave her a wide smile. "I missed your coffee."
"I hope you missed more than just my coffee." Amanda laughed.
"I missed that too." He said and leaned in for a kiss. "I love your smile and the sound of your laughter."
Amanda smiled and shook her head. "I missed how you made me laugh."
Callen took her mug and set it on the night stand with his before he pulled her close. He kissed her softly and looked into her eyes. "In case I haven't told you lately, I love you."
"I love you too, G." She smiled and kissed him. "You'd better get in the shower."
"I know, I just want to cuddle with you a while longer." He said kissing her temple.
"You're late." Sam joked when Callen walked in and set his bag on his desk.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He huffed. "I wanted to spend a little extra time with Amanda."
"How's she doing?" Logan asked.
"Yesterday was pretty rough, but she seems to be in good spirits this morning. Got up before me and made coffee."
Zeke laughed. "Yeah, I do miss Amanda's coffee."
Everyone agreed. "What are you guys doing this weekend?" Sam asked.
"I haven't a clue. I don't want to push Amanda into too much."
"Michelle would like to see her. So I figured we could all get together for a barbeque at my house. You're all included. It might do Amanda some good to see that we're all here for her."
"I'll bring whatever you want." Logan smiled.
The day fortunately was uneventful, giving them the chance to plan who was bring what that weekend. Callen was hesitant to let them commit to anything without talking to Amanda first. As it happened, Michelle had already called to talk to Amanda about it and Amanda agreed that it sounded like fun. At three, the team looked up when they heard Chrissy's voice. Callen was up on his feet looking for her when she came around from behind him.
"Hi Daddy." She said when she smacked his butt.
Callen growled and scooped her up. "Hey Bug, what are you doing here?"
"Mommy and I were going to go to the grocery store to buy something to take to Aunt Michelle and Uncle Sam's, but she wanted to see what everyone else was bringing."
Amanda appeared beside him. "Hey Honey." He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
With a wide smile, she gave him a quick kiss and looked around for Hetty out of habit. "So are you okay with this barbeque at Sam's this weekend I take it?" He asked.
"I think it would be nice to hang out and goof off." She laughed.
"Good, because you have some explaining to do." Kensi laughed and walked over, hugging her. "I've missed you so much. Things aren't the same without you here."
"I know Kens and I'm sorry to all of you for leaving the way I did." She said looked around at the teams.
"So when are you coming back?" Logan asked.
"Probably not until after the baby's born. Nate and the Director want to make sure that I'm okay before I come back." She told him.
"Where's Nana?" Chrissy asked looking for Hetty.
"I think she's at her desk." Callen said heading in that direction.
Hetty was coming down the stair and waved at Chrissy. The next thing Callen knew, she was squirming her way out of his arms to get to her. When Hetty got to the main level, she bent over and gave Chrissy a hug before leading her over to her office for a treat. Kensi called up to Ops to let Eric and Nell know Amanda and Chrissy were there and they all sat around the rest of the afternoon talking.
Callen followed Amanda and Chrissy to the store and walked the aisles with them in search of everything Amanda wanted to take to Sam and Michelle's. They had just walked past the cookie aisle when Chrissy bolted up the aisle shrieking for joy. Callen told Amanda to go on thinking Chrissy just wanted to grab some Oreos and was pleasantly surprised to find the real reason she ran.
"Oh my gosh, Chrissy!" Madison cried, causing her mother to stop and swing around.
"Madi!" Chrissy yelled as she nearly bowled her over.
"You're back, where's your Mother and Father?" Heather asked waiting rather impatiently for a hug.
"Right here." Callen announced wrapping an arm around Heather.
"Where's Amanda?" Madison asked standing straight again.
"She's at the butcher counter." He told them and with that, the women spun the car around and charged up the aisle.
"Mommy's having a baby." Chrissy told Heather as she walked holding her hand.
Shocked, Heather shot Callen a look. "Is she really?"
"She's about five months along now." He beamed.
Amanda stood looking at the vast array of meats in the display case, not paying attention to much of anything except making her selection. Callen called her name and she turned to look, spotting Heather and Madison immediately.
"You are huge!" Heather laughed hugging her.
"Heather, Madi it's so good to see you guys. I've been meaning to call to let you know we're back."
"Oh don't worry about it. G said you're about five months along, which means."
"Yes, I was pregnant when I left, but didn't know it." Amanda confirmed.
"And you guys are doing good?" Madison asked hesitantly.
"As good as we can right now." Amanda smiled as Callen wrapped an arm around her.
"I'm so happy to see you two back together again." Heather said with tears in her eyes. "I knew you'd come home."
They stood and talked while the other customers walked around them. Occasionally someone would rudely ask them to get out of the way so they could get something. They talked about everything from what Heather and Madison were doing to how Amanda came to decide to return to California. Finally, they decided that they needed to get on with their shopping trip and talked while they shopped. Amanda so missed Heather and Madison's company the last few months and apologized several times for her behavior. Every time the two women would stop her and tell her that they understood. After standing in line together and waiting for the other party to finish checking out, they walked out to the parking lot together and agreed that Heather and Madison would to run home to put away the perishables and then head over to Callen and Amanda's.
Amanda headed right to the house to put their groceries away while Callen stopped off to pick-up a few pizzas for dinner. He, Madison and Heather arrived at the same time. Chrissy and Amanda had already the table set and were sitting in the living room with Lil. Lil went crazy when Heather and Madison walked in. Barking and dancing around. Chrissy hauled Lil away the best she could, but Lil over powered her, causing her to fall and hit her head.
Instantly, all of the adults swarmed to make sure Chrissy was ok. Lil hovered over her licking her face as if to apologize for being so rough. Chrissy laughed as Callen pulled her to her feet and was surprised when she didn't shed a tear. With Lil patiently sitting by her side, they sat down to eat. After asking, Chrissy offered her crust to Lil. Only after Callen told her it was okay did she take it and lay down to eat it.
"So what are you going to do with Chrissy and the baby after you're cleared for duty?" Madison finally asked. While she'd found another family to work for, it wasn't as comfortable and easy as it was working for the Callen's.
Callen looked at Amanda for the answer, equally as curious for the answer. "I know you've gotten yourself another job, but I'd love to have you back. Unfortunately we couldn't offer you a room since we're going to need it for the baby, but I will help pay part of your rent or gas as compensation."
Heather and Madison looked at one another and without little thought, just a smile between them, Madison answered. "I thought you'd never ask. Hell, I'll pitch at tent in the backyard if you wanted me to just so I could work for you again."
Callen laughed. "We won't ask you to go that far. Maybe we can look into adding on to the house, maybe a little apartment out in the back. I'm pretty sure we've got enough room back there."
Amanda smiled, loving the idea. "I'll call an architect in the morning and look into the permitting process. Would you guys be willing to live on the property?"
"Of course." Heather nearly yelled.
"Good it's settled. You're coming back." Callen said raising his beer to toast.
"But when?" Madison asked. "I can give my two week's notice to the family I'm working for now."
"Let me get a hold of an architect and the contractors, see how long it will take before the apartment is ready for move in." Amanda laughed.
"Does this apply to Mom too?" Madi asked.
"Of course, we couldn't have one and not the other." Callen confirmed.
"Thank you so much." Heather said as she sprang to her feet, hugging Amanda and then Callen. "I owe the two of you so much."
The rest of the week and weekend were a blur. They had a wonderful time at Sam and Michelle's and told everyone that Madison and Heather would be working for them again. Amanda relayed everything she'd learned from the Architect and the City inspector who'd come out to the property and deemed that there was enough room for another dwelling. They all stared in awe as she went on and on about all the ideas she had for the little house. She had so much enthusiasm and vibrance to her that they knew she'd be back with them very soon after the baby was born.
Once Callen finally stopped her from talking about the plans for the house, Michelle and Kensi finally asked the question on everyone's mind. Baby names. In all honesty, Amanda hadn't thought about it. There had been no time; they'd been back from Virginia only shy of two weeks. There were other things to talk about or deal with.
"I've actually thought about it." Callen announced after Amanda told them she hadn't any ideas. "I'm pretty sure this one's a boy."
"You going to name him G, Jar?" Sam joked.
After the laughter subsided, the continued. "No, I was actually thinking about Patrick George."
Amanda stopped and frowned, repeating the name over and over in her head. With all eyes on her, she finally smiled. "I like it. Patrick George. You came up with that one all on your own?"
Callen turned a soft shade of pink. "No, actually I had a little help with that one."
Sam gave him and odd look. "Have you been seeing ghosts again?" He turned to Amanda and explained that Callen had commented several times while she was gone that he'd seen Pat, George and Chris around everywhere he went.
An 'ah-ha' look crossed Amanda face. "Chrissy mentioned Chris a couple times when we were in Virginia. She called him the man in the corner."
Before Amanda knew it, it was time for another visit with Nate. Madison had picked Chrissy up and taken her for a play date with the children of the family she worked for. She was sitting at the table looking over the first of the plans the architect and designer had sent over when Nate arrived.
"Wow, what's all of this?" He asked looking at the blue prints, carpet and tile samples and paint chips.
"We're adding mother-in-law quarters in the back for Madison and Heather." Amanda told him with a bright smile.
"Really, they've agreed to come back?"
"They have. It didn't take much convincing." She laughed. "So, where are we going to start today? Dad's funeral?"
"No actually, I spoke with Dr. Cranston and she's actually interested in hearing the aftermath of your partner's death."
"Oh." She paused. "I had myself emotionally ready to talk about Dad's funeral, not Carson's."
Nate's phone began ringing and he asked her to hold on while he dug it out of his pocket. "Hello Dr. Cranston. Yes I'm here. Actually she would rather talk about her father again."
"No Nate its fine. We can talk about Carson." Amanda told him.
Nate pulled the phone from his ear. "Are you sure? Dr. Cranston was going to listen in if you don't mind."
Amanda cracked a smile, remembering the nearly three hours she and Dr. Cranston spent together. She really liked her and half-wished it was her she was seeing instead of Nate. "That's fine." She said and led the way over to the living room.
Amanda and Dr. Cranston exchanged pleasantries before Amanda asked Dr. Cranston to remind her where she'd left off. Without skipping a beat, she began again.
A week after Carson's death, they congregated at his family's church. Amanda was high as could be on pain killers which she also hoped would numb her emotions. Sitting five or six pews behind his family, Amanda looked at the casket at the altar draped with an American Flag. A Marine Corps flag hung from the podium to the left and an American flag hung from the ceiling. She sighed deeply as Callen squeezed her hand.
"Are you doing okay?" He whispered, his warm breath on her neck sending chills down her spine.
She looked at him with tears in her eyes and a quivering lip. "I can't do this G, I can't bury another partner."
Kensi slid into the pew next to her and gave her a sympathetic look. "We're here for you Amanda."
"I'm not the one you need to be here for. They need you guys." Amanda said pointing to Carson's wife, grown children, their spouses and their collective children. "I'm no one compared to them."
Not able to take it anymore, Amanda shot out of the pew and headed for the back door as Zeke, Logan, Sam and Deeks walked in. Callen stood and caught Sam's eye, hoping he'd stop her. Sam did what he could, but the look of despair in Amanda's eyes stopped him. Logan turned on his heels and followed her out of the church.
"Amanda." He said when he finally found her sitting in the courtyard on the side of the church.
"Just go back in Logan, I'm fine." She said with her arms wrapped around herself.
"The hell you are." He said sitting next to her. "When was the last time you took your pain meds?"
"G made sure I took one before we left this morning and another when we got here since it was wearing off."
"Why didn't you stop her?" Callen snapped when he walked up to Sam.
"If you'd seen the look in her eyes, you would've let her go too, G."
"She doesn't need to be alone right now." He growled as he pushed past him.
"Logan went after her." Zeke told him.
"Oh that's just great." Callen said throwing his hands up.
When he finally found them, he noticed that Amanda and Logan sitting too close for his liking. Before he stormed over, he watched as Amanda leaned into him and Logan put his arm around her. Callen's blood boiled. As if she sensed his presence, Amanda looked up and saw the fury in Callen's eyes, quickly putting distance between she and Logan.
"What the hell is this?" He growled.
"Nothing G." Amanda said quickly getting to her feet.
"Honest Callen there was nothing going on." Logan said with his hands raised in the air in surrender or ready to defend himself judging by the look on Callen's face.
Callen grabbed Amanda's arm and pulled her away. "What the hell is with you Amanda?"
Wincing in pain, Amanda dug her feet in and tried to pull away. "You're hurting me, G."
When they were far enough from Logan, he let her go. "Logan? With Logan?"
"No G, he was just trying to comfort me." She said as she rubbed her upper arm.
Amanda tried to take a step back as Callen came within inches of her face. "Do not ever let me see that shit again." He whispered. "We need to get back in; they're going to start soon."
Shocked, Amanda dropped her arms and followed. As she passed Logan, he gave her an apologetic look. She shook her head and put her hand up.