Do you know how fun it is to call people mean names in different languages? Inspiration comes in all forms! XD Yep I was calling my brother a bastardo borracho (drunken bastard), and I was like hey... Zoro is one too! X3

Disclaimer- I don't own One Piece, I'm just borrowing it's characters for my own sick fantasies!

10- Bastardo borracho

Zoro sat behind the counter of a bar in some random town that they had stopped at. He was in the middle of downing is 4th or 5th sake, he wasn't sure which... Maybe it was more than that? His cheeks were pink with drunkness and his speech was slurred.

"Oi! (hic) bartender, hit me with another." Zoro stammered.

"M'sorry Mr. Bushido. I'm afraid that if I give you another, you won't even make it to the door." The bartender said while drying a mug.

"I'll show you damn doors." Zoro slurred. "See it's right there." He stumbled off his chair and pointed to the ceiling. "I think I can m-manage." The bartender smiled and shoved the overly drunk man out the door.

"Thank you for your patronage." He said as he closed the door behind him. Zoro glanced around, everything was blurry... and tinged purple.

"Che, who needs your packages anyway." Zoro cursed. He started walking down the dimly lit street. He would stagger every here and there, but other than that everything was perfectly normal.

"Stop staring at me!" He yelled to a young girl that walked passed him. She looked up at him with fear and started to cry. "Oh I'm s-sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up." She kept crying and he felt really bad. "Here take this." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a rock. When that had gotten into his pocket he wasn't sure, he must have picked it up a few minutes ago.

The girl took the rock, smiled, and threw it in a window. "Jerk!" She yelled as she ran. A couple came out of the house as he stared after the girl, confused as to what just happened.

"You! Your going to pay for that!" Yelled the man.

"W-what?" He stammered.

"You broke our window! Your going to pay for a new one!" The man shouted slowly, so Zoro could catch his words.

"I-I didn't break anything... It was that midget! It ran away after that loud boom." Zoro hiccuped. Things were not going he way, he was sober enough to be able to see that.

"That 'boom' was you breaking my window!" The man yelled.

"No." He said coldly and drew his swords. "I did not take that pony." He pointed them at the man to get his point across.

"Uh... O-of course not." The man held his hands up in surrender and retreated back into the safety of his home. Zoro sheathed his swords and proceeded down the street. His head was already starting to hurt. He squinted his eyes when he thought he saw a familiar figure walking towards him. The person had blonde hair and was wearing black.

"Oi Usopp! What are you doing out here?" He called out. He heard the man grumble, but it didn't register fast enough that the man had raised a leg and aimed a kick at his head. All he managed to do was dodge clumsily and fall on his face. "Ow, you dirty bastard. Who ever you are, I don't want to see you ever again." The man grumbled angrily.

Zoro got up and wrapped his arm around the mans neck. "I was only kidding! You don't have to take me so seriously! You're my best friend! I could never hate you." He leaned into the slender man and started walking to where he thought the ship was last... He hated it when it was hiding.

"Dammit shit swordsman. Your breath is foul!" The man said.

"Ah ah ah! Don't judge a person by his odors... ... You have really pretty eyes." Zoro said suddenly. He saw the other man blush visibly. "Sorry I'm taken though." Zoro smiled as the mans face turned into a scowl. "Yep, his name is Sanji. Ah, before you say anything, yes he really is a guy, but he is so bueatiful, especially his legs. If you ever saw those with your own eyes, you would never turn to a woman again." Zoro took a good look at his walk home partner. "You sure do look a lot like him."

He felt the man stiffen then relax some.

"Would you... uh, go with me?" The man asked, he sounded a little unsure of what he was saying, but Zoro ignored it completely.

"Nope. I'm only Sanji's, and he's mine. Ain't gunna be any other way. And really I'm happy that's the way it is... Don't you ever tell him I said that though, coz if you do I might have'ta... do something to you..."

"Like what?" The man said, suggestion dripping from his voice.

"Something painful." Zoro said. Suddenly his world went dark and he clung onto the man next to him.

"Damn drunk." Sanji said as he grabbed a hold of Zoro. "And just when it was getting good too." He ran his fingers through his hair and smiled. "I'm so making eggs in the morning."

Moo ha ha! Drunken Zoro yay! Oh and btw the smell of cooking eggs makes people with hangovers sick. I do that to my dad when he has one. XD