Chapter 10: Wives Never Listen To Their Husbands!
Lia: I'm very happy that you liked my story! It relieves me that you think the relation between Kagura and Sougo looks canon; I'm always scared of them becoming OOC. And, sorry, Kamui won't be turning up for a while, though he'll be back in good time. I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this chapter as much too!
nathan19bane: You're very much welcome and thank you so much for reading this too! I was really delighted to hear that you found it adorable! I hope you enjoy reading this light hearted chapter too!
Hellooo: Thank you so, so much! It made me too really happy to read your review, and I'll definitely update regularly. Kamui will get better, don't worry, and some new people are going to turn up too! I'm glad you find the pace good, please enjoy!
Putxi: Thank you so much for the review! I'm so happy that the Okikagu interactions pleased you; I was rather nervous about how the last part was, hee hee. As to where our favorite sadist keeps his handcuffs, I have a sort of headcanon that he keeps them in a secret pocket in his coat, though you can imagine it as you like!
Thank you all for reviewing, and I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Now, onto the story!
Kagura did not wish to get up at all, even though she could hear Tama calling for her. It was just too warm, too comfortable in bed, tucked inside a pair of strong arms, cuddled up with a warm, muscular body…..
WHAT THE HELL? Her eyes snapped open; Sougo's sleeping face being the first thing that she saw. Kagura immediately made a decision never to believe any doctor again; her heart had just stopped beating and she couldn't breathe, but nevertheless, she was alive. Her first instinct was to scream, but she hastily swallowed it, for she did not want anybody to see them in this position.
What the hell is the Sadist doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be in the infirmary, yes? Then how is he in my bed?! I swear, I'll kill him if he did something dirty with me…. Though he actually looks cute when he's sleeping, uh huh… WHAT DID I JUST THINK? Why, why did I fall for this jerk so badly? Huh? Did he just say something? I can't believe it; the idiot is dumb enough to talk in his sleep!
Filled with curiosity, she moved closer to him, trying to catch the softly murmured words. Suddenly, she froze as he touched her chest, rubbing it a little.
"So flat…"
That is it.I don't care if he's injured or not, I'M GONNA KILL HIM! And she really would have done so, if her hands weren't securely handcuffed. Kagura made a second resolution that day; the king of Edo was soon going to have a grave next to that of Sadaharu 28. Otherwise, she was going to give up her royal title and sukonbu forever.
Later that day, the maids nearly choked with shock when they saw their mistress come down, her hands fastened in cuffs and a fearsome aura floating around her. Everything from her clothes to her hair was completely messed up, as if she had been 'trapped' in bed for hours and had tossed and turned and kicked about desperately to get out, without using her hands. Well, Tama thought that the princess would have done just that. She wondered whether the prince would need to be sent to the intensive care unit once more.
"Tama, please take this stupid things off me now. I can't punish the Sadist for all his crimes if these fetter my hands, uh huh."
Tama smiled a little at that, life was never boring when the princess was around. She picked up the largest, sharpest knife she could find and asked Kagura to stretch out her hands and close her eyes. Ignoring Oryou screaming that she would really cut off the princess' hands, Tama brought down the knife with a slash, snapping the cuffs with a loud clang. Kagura sighed in relief as soon as it was over, though she nearly fainted when she glimpsed just what Tama had used to do it. Soon, everyone was smiling and laughing as Kagura too joined in helping the maids to make dinner, ignoring everyone's protests, though she ate many times more than she cooked.
That night, Sougo was truly surprised by the variety of dishes at dinner. For once, there were more than ten of his favorite dishes, though in small helpings, topped generously with Tabasco sauce and also a few burnt messes that did not seem edible. Kagura too seemed suspiciously happy, she had not tried to kill him, insult him or throw him out of the window even once. In fact, he hadn't even been murdered for what he had done before, though he had been kicked ruthlessly out of the bed after a lot of struggle. Everyone at the table choked simultaneously when the princess personally served everyone, saying that she would eat after they had all finished. It wasn't long after he took a few bites of the food that Sougo realized why. Each item, even the mayonnaise and Tabasco, were heavily laced with laxatives.
Within seconds, all the men at the dinner table; Sougo, Hijikata, Kondou, Matsudaira, and a few other members of the Shinsengumi were racing to the toilets, their faces twisted with pain and gripping their stomachs. Tama sighed as Kagura burst out laughing in sadistic pleasure, though she was having fun too. Oryou and the others cleared up the tampered food, before bringing their mistress her dinner, which was completely free of any laxatives and had been prepared separately. Kagura immediately began to wipe all the dishes clean, saying between mouthfuls," Their faces were so funny, yes! This is a far better punishment for them than beating them up, uh huh! Serve them right for suspecting and harassing an innocent girl like me! Hahaha!"
Most of the maids sweat dropped at that, wondering whether their mistress could ever be called 'innocent'. Though they did agree that the men were all absolute idiots to ever think that their mistress was a criminal and that the prince should have taken more precautions before 'sleeping' with his wife.
The next morning, there was a huge uproar in the palace. This, of course, had pretty much become normal, but it was much louder today. The reason? Sougo had passed a royal decree stating that from that very moment, the mistress of the place would not undertake any more outdoor adventures, or even step out of the castle, without his express permission and then too, always accompanied by a Shinsengumi unit. And naturally, the mistress of the house was not at all willing to do so.
"Why the hell should I follow your orders, you sadist?! I'LL GO OUT AS I PLEASE!"
"I'm afraid that's not happening, China. Every time you go out, a new mess happens and half the city gets destroyed. This is in the interests of your citizens, so abide by it, piggy."
"THE HELL IT IS! You're just doing this for your own sadistic pleasure! And why the hell do I need your permission to go out?! I'm not your damned toy!"
"My, my, how loud and rude you are, China piggy. And you're mistaken, because you are mine, and only my S&M play toy. And so, you are going to do as I say. Besides, I consider this as fitting revenge for last night."
"Served you right! I am not going to listen, no way in hell, you double damned extreme Sadist!"
"Fine, then I'll order the maids not to feed that giant dog of yours a morsel until you agree."
Kagura felt like smashing his face in, but she suddenly saw Tama nod slightly out of the corner of her eye. Even though she hated to let the jerk order her around, she trusted her friend or maid implicitly and grudgingly assented to the royal decree, leaving everyone highly surprised. But then, Sougo thought, she did love her dog more than most other living organisms.
Meanwhile, in Kagura's room,
"Tama, why did you tell me to listen to that sadist? Now I'll be stuck in the palace forever, I'll be bored to death, yes!"
"Kagura sama, I know. But constantly arguing with Sougo sama too will get boring soon. I do not advise you to listen to him, but Kagura sama, if you must disobey, you should do so in the most interesting manner!"
"What do you mean, Tama?"
Tama handed her a pamphlet, saying, "They are called the 'Yorozuya'. They will do anything you ask of them, even kidnapping you on request from the palace of Edo. I'm sure you'll find it fun, Kagura sama."
A day later, at a small office, the signboard outside declaring it as the 'Yorozuya', a guy with a natural silver perm lazed on the couch, reading comics meant for children half his age. He hardly looked up as a glasses wearing teenager burst in, holding an ornate envelope, looking highly excited.
"Don't make so much noise in the morning, Patsuan. Can't you see that I'm busy?"
"Of course you're not in the least busy, Gin-san! Reading Jump does not qualify as being busy! And how is it early morning; it's already ten 'o'clock!"
"Shaddap and let me concentrate! You are beginning to take your straight man duties way too seriously, Patsuan!"
"What?! Oh, forget it, there's no use… Anyway, what I was about to say was that we've finally received a request! And also, it seems that the client is quite well off, judging by the paper."
"Why didn't you say that before, Patsuan?! Hurry up and open the envelope!"
Sighing at his boss' idiocy, Shinpachi carefully slit open the envelope, pulling out the letter inside. Together, they both began to read it.
Dear Yorozuya,
My friend tells me that you will take on any job, if you are paid satisfactorily. I'm a noble, pure lady who has been locked up and imprisoned in my home. My husband, an extreme sadist, is behind this cruel, vengeful deed and I wish so dearly, to be able to see the outside world just once more… Thus, I request you to rescue me from my cage and let me fly like a free bird, for just one lovely day. I shall be very much indebted to you. And of course, you shall be paid well, feel free to ask for whatever amount you desire; Vice commander of the Shinsengumi, Hijikata Toushirou shall pay you personally.
Yours sincerely,
A sorrowful prisoner
"Gin san, what is this? Did we just enter some Sunday soap opera? This client, just who is she? And how does she expect us to find her without an address?!"
"Shinpachi, life is an adventure; we must take it as such. As the Yorozuya, we cannot ignore a damsel in distress. Besides, the address is not required, all we have to do is to ask that Hijibaka. Now, after that bag of money! Let us squeeze Oogushi kun's salary out of him, Patsuan!"
"You're getting fired up for all the wrong reasons, Gin san! Wait for me!"
Gintoki and Shinpachi soon reached the area patrolled by the Shinsengumi Vice-Commander, the latter highly doubtful as to whether it would be of any use. The letter was definitely full of drama, but it had mentioned Hijikata san, and they could always say it was for a request. After all, that was what the police were for…
Gin spotted the money bag, no, the Shinsengumi Vice-Commander, at the city square, bullying one of his subordinates to go and buy mayonnaise for him. Within seconds, the two were nearly head-to-head, Gin looking as uninterested as ever, as Hijikata looking more annoyed than ever.
"Oi, what are you doing here, Yorozuya? Unlike you, I have work to do and the last thing I need to see now is your face, so get out of my sight!"
"How rude, Oogushi kun. I, too, am not interested in sniffing your mayo breath, you know? Besides, all the work you do is stealing taxes from hardworking citizens."
"Since when have you paid taxes?! And who said you're hardworking?! Dammit, just quit irritating me, you dead eyed silver perm idiot!"
"Ah, Gin san, Hijikata san, please stop arguing… We are only here for some information… Do you happen to know of any noble lady who, er, has a very, um, 'sadistic' husband? I mean… someone you know, um, rather well? "
"Are you talking about the China princess, Danna, Shinpachi san?" It was Yamazaki who piped up before Hijikata could say anything.
"China princess? Whoever is that?"
"Just how much Jump have you been reading recently, you fish eyed idiot? You seriously don't have any idea of who the China princess is?!"
"Danna, she's Prince Sougo's wife and also the princess of Rakuyou. Maybe she's the one you're looking for, since Okita san is a do-S and everyone in the Shinsengumi knows her well. Huh? Danna, why are you looking so pale?"
Yamazaki received no answer as Gin grabbed Shinpachi by the collar and dragged him away. Hijikata rolled his eyes, before turning to glare at the hapless plain officer.
"Oi, Zaki, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to keep an eye on the China princess? Do you really want her to escape and for Sougo to wreck half the city fighting with her? Just remember, if that happens, you're taking responsibility."
Meanwhile, in an alleyway,
"Gin san, what a surprise… Was that lady the freaking queen of the country?!"
"Patsuan, then that means, we're supposed to….. FREAKING KIDNAP THE QUEEN?!"
A/N: So there ends the tenth chapter! The Yorozuya finally make their entrance! I hope you enjoyed reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it. The next few chapters will most probably be quite lighthearted, with lots of fluff and humor. I'm not sure whether I'm too good at writing humor, so do send me suggestions about all the stuff I need to improve in! Please take some time out to leave a review, I love knowing what you think of it! Constructive criticism, appreciation and corrections are all priceless!
A huge thank you to everyone who favorited and followed this story, and as much gratitude to everyone who read this! I hope you had fun, and thank you again for reading!
See you in the next update, and I promise it'll be soon! Sorry for making you read this long author's note, by the way.