"You got style, you got grace
But kid you try so hard
She just laughs in your face
Yeah you're a nice guy
With the wrong attitude
She want a bad boy."
I wasn't completely schooled in Inuktitut, but I could tell they were giving Jake a ration about me.
I just smiled and kept going.
"Sam's? Hmmm." I put my best thinking face on for show. I had never been into Sam's. "You sure?" I was having too much fun with him. His friends hooted quietly behind him.
I looked out one of the large glass windows at their truck, two crates.
"Is there a couch? There should be a black leather couch."
Did they crate it? Possibly. When the movers came in Washington, they just padded and wrapped everything and took it off to the warehouse to be crated and loaded.
~xOx~
I felt my face grow hot, flushing through to my ears.
"Couch," I shrugged in response. "I dunno, might be. Only one way to know for sure..." I turned to walk outside, thankful for cold air.
Quil walked by me, muttering under his breath, Mamaqtualuk mama. I shoved both shoulders, hard, and he fell face first into the snow. Embry ran by laughing like a maniac, and grabbed a crowbar to open the side of the crate. The arm of a black leather couch, wrapped in sheets of foam, was the first thing I saw.
"I'll pull it out." I offered.
Embry doubled over in laughter. "Pull it out, push it in. Ohhh baby. Ohhh, Iiiiisaaaaabeeellllaaaa."
My face flushed red again.
"Do you have a death wish?" I snarled.
~xOx~
I listened to them outside, arguing quietly and saw Jake push one of his friends down in the snow. I hid my laughter behind my hand and ran back to the bedroom to push the dresser out of the way for the couch.
I made it back to the front room in time to see Jake walking backwards down the truck ramp carrying one side of the couch, and Embry on the other end. I held the door open as wide as possible, more for their own width than the couch itself.
"Back this way, guys." I led them to the bedroom. And stood in the middle of the bed as they maneuvered the couch and their bodies around.
"Just up against the wall." I smiled brightly and beamed at the couch as though it were my most prized possession. As soon as they set it down, I jumped off the bed and flopped on the still half wrapped cushions.
"Thank you so much, guys." I sighed contentedly and closed my eyes for a brief moment, smelling Edward all around me. Leather couch and Edward. Edward sprawled out on the couch, sleeping. Quietly dreaming. My Edward. Opening my eyes, I immediately felt embarrassed for my swooning so openly in front of strangers.
"I love this couch." I stood up and walked out of the room.
~xOx~
The look on her face when she laid on that couch did really bad things to my head.
Bella, ussertok...
Bend you over that...
DOWN BOY!
I cleared my throat audibly. "Yeah, we ll just... go get that other stuff."
I tried to walk toward the door and stumbled over my own boots, cursing them under my breath.
"Karma." Quil taunted.
We walked back out to the truck and got to work unloading the rest of what I assumed was her new husband's junk. I resisted the urge to accidentally break one of his guitars. Billy would fire my ass if he had to replace an instrument.
~xOx~
The thought of some movers being alone with Bella proved too distracting to allow for a proper hunt. I wanted nothing more than to return to the cabin. Determined to prove my restraint to Bella, not to mention myself, I headed back toward the cabin.
In the silence of the clearing, I could hear everything they were saying. Bella was moving in the bedroom, likely unpacking some smaller boxes. I couldn't remember a single thing I had packed, but she seemed happy.
Really happy.
A little too happy.
Her body fell from my view, beneath the window, and I picked up speed. Breath escaped her lips in an audible sigh.
Contentment.
Pleasure.
What the hell is going on in there?
The wet animal smell grew stronger. The movers must have killed an animal with the truck -a big, wet, hairy animal that ate a lot of fish. My nose wrinkled in disgust and I found myself holding my breath, not only for the safety of the movers, but because the smell was nearly unbearable.
Words rang out in the silence that I didn't understand.
Another language? What is he saying?
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
You'll find that out anyway...
That same flat sound as the delivery man on the island. I had pushed it out of my mind, having been away from that kind for so long. But, it flooded back as soon as I heard it again.
Thoughts. His thoughts. About Bella?
Bend her over the... WHAT?
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge I'm about to break**
I closed the distance between us effortlessly, sliding the door wide open to find Bella stepping out of the room. The awful smelling pervert had vacated the room, but his stench still clung to the air. There was zero risk of me wanting to kill him for sustenance.
Not for sustenance.
I stepped past Bella in a rush, making my way to the front door.
~xOx~
I felt my hair blow over my shoulder, touching my cheek before I realized that Edward was back.
Oh my god.
Edward was back and he was moving faster than he should be. What is he doing? I double stepped to catch him, grabbing for his hand gently, his fingers brushed right through mine as if they were made of air.
"Edward."
He slowed but his chest was moving as if he were angry. Full deep breaths wracked his body. Air hissed out from clenched teeth.
"Edward. What is going on? You need to relax. The movers are still here. You need to calm down, please." I made no move to get closer to him, but I could hear the guys outside talking and getting ready to come in with a few boxes.
~xOx~
"The things he said..." I growled. "You didn't hear..." My stomach lurched. He was moving closer.
Bella's eyes pleaded. I closed mine and slowly exhaled the breath I'd been holding. "I'll be on the deck."
From inside I heard Fishbreath and his friends settling the bill. Time ticked slowly, but he seemed to keep his mind to himself.
Not a whole lot going on upstairs.
Once the truck was a safe distance away, Bella stepped outside to let me know it was clear.
As if I didn't know.
"I'm sorry," I offered remorsefully. "You didn't hear the disgusting things he was thinking." I raked my fingers through my hair.
"The good news is, I had no desire whatsoever to drain him." I gagged exaggeratedly at the thought. "Do all the locals... smell... like that?"
~xOx~
The good news? That was the good news?
I sat quietly on the wooden rail.
"Edward," my voice was soft, quiet, "how are, how do we, I mean," I couldn t find the right words to express myself and it was becoming frustrating. "How can I help you with the umm, voices. I mean, when you hear someone and I don't. Say, if we were in town? I can t imagine how that is going to be for you. I feel for you, and I want you to know, that no matter what someone thinks, I am right here. And their thoughts can t hurt me."
I reached a hand out toward him attempting to draw him closer. He didn't disappoint. His fingers locked with mine and I smiled up at him, jumping off the railing and tugging him into the bedroom through the sliding door. I pushed him gently down onto the couch and curled up in his lap.
"I love this couch, Edward." My fingers drew circles over his chest. I twisted a finger into one of the hood strings of his sweatshirt and pressed my lips to his jaw. "I love you more though."
~xOx~
We sat like that for hours, quietly content in our place. Everything about it felt like home. I finally broke the silence, answering Bella s question from earlier.
"Do you remember nightmares?" My eyes were distant, focused on a blank corner of the room, trying to pull the memories in.
"Do you remember how they would feel real?" I met her curious eyes. "That's kind of what it's like. Like nightmares. The voices," I tried to explain. "Very real. Very threatening."
"Everyone has this inner dialogue," I continued, brushing the hair back from her face. "Our worst fears. Our deepest fantasies. The mouth is sort of a filter, blocking out that which is socially unacceptable and wholly improper to speak. But, the mind..." I searched for the words.
"The mind is impulsive. You can't control thoughts. Thoughts are raw and unfiltered. Dark. Confusing. Malicious. Vengeful. Insidious. Lustful. Filled with the deadliest sins and animalistic impulses. To hear them from certain minds," my thumb brushed against her forehead both in gratitude and sadness that I could not hear hers, "can be overwhelming."
Give me strength to be kind...
To combine
All the good things in life that are so hard to find
"I haven t quite figured out how to distinguish between intent and thought." I went on.
"Particularly when I'm not in the room and cannot see the body language. Most often I hear the voices when someone is thinking of you. And, well, I don't like those thoughts being about you. You're my wife. And even if I trust you inherently," I reassured her, pressing my lips to her forehead, "the things they think of you cause rage to bubble up beneath the surface."
Still hearing voices from front, from behind
They're the reason I choose when to live how to die
I sighed heavily, unsure that I would ever become acclimated to this particular ability.
"The thoughts overpower the scent. Does that make any sense?" She nodded, deep in thought. "It's much stronger. Quite distracting. I don't even think about thirst in those situations. They may as well be screaming them into my ears, they re so prevalent."
She wrapped her arm behind my neck, pulling me into a gentle, reassuring kiss.
"And then, with you," I said quietly, our lips brushing as I spoke, "nothing."
"A quiet mind."
You give me a quiet mind and I, I love you until the end. ***
A/N
My desktop has crashed.. leaving me fumbling through editing chapters with acrobat/the ff site and not word. Grrrr. I am going to attempt to edit another chapter in the next day or so, but I am also prepping for move that is going to take place next week. Sooooo... lol things may be fuzzy around here. First Light is a completed story, it is just trying to post chapters that might take a bit. Rest assured, it will all be published. :)
I am also working on editing another chapter of Out of the Blue.
Thank you to all of our amazing readers who stick with us even though we leave you hanging. We promise it isn't on purpose.
*Cobra Starship -Nice Guys Finish Last
**Linkin Park -One Step Closer
***Blue October -A Quiet Mind